When Love Returns

by Kim Vogel Sawyer

  Paul frowned. “Then is Glenn your father?”

  Alexa glanced at Danny before answering bluntly. “No.” She gave Suzanne a meaningful look. “Cynthia was only fifteen when I was born, and like I said, she had a rough life.”

  Suzanne understood. Paul must have, too, because he nodded.

  “Mom, your childhood and Cynthia’s are like polar opposites. It’s amazing to me that she’s such a good mom to Darcy and Barrett. You can tell Jesus made a huge difference in her life.”

  Jealousy tried to worm its way into Suzanne’s chest. In one short evening Alexa had gained a great deal of admiration for the woman who’d given birth to her. But Suzanne refused to let the ugly emotion take root. Alexa looked relaxed, happy. She still called her Mom. Suzanne hadn’t lost her child, but apparently Alexa had gained something. Paul would call the situation a home run. “So how will you keep in touch?”

  Alexa’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean, you don’t mind if I stay in contact with her?”

  Suzanne glanced at Paul. His smile encouraged her. She took Alexa’s hand. “It would be pretty selfish of me to keep you from her, considering my contact with Anna-Grace.” Contentment eased through Suzanne’s frame. “She and I have decided to be good friends.”

  “Is that enough?” Alexa lowered her voice to a mere whisper, worry crinkling her brow.

  A smile tugged at Suzanne’s lips. “Oh, honey…Good friends is so much more than I ever expected. God gifted me with you, and then He let me be a part of Anna-Grace’s life. I’m doubly blessed.” Concern nibbled at the corner of her heart. “Do you mind that I’m friends with Anna-Grace?”

  “Mind? Mom!” Alexa teasingly huffed and rolled her eyes. “It was my idea in the first place for her to know who you are.”

  Suzanne choked back a happy sob. Paul reached over the seat and rubbed Suzanne’s shoulder.

  Alexa’s smile bounced from Suzanne to Paul, approval glittering in her brown eyes. Then she released a light laugh. “It’ll be a little tougher for me to be friends with Cynthia since she lives in Indiana and my home’s in Kansas, but Darcy and Barrett said they wanted to be pen pals with me. I thought that was cute, and it’s a great way for us to get to know each other.”

  Danny popped up and peered over the backseat like a puppet making its entrance. “Hey! Maybe I can be pen pals with them, too. It sounds fun.”

  Alexa grinned at him. “I’ll ask ’em, Danny, okay?” She faced Suzanne. “Cynthia and I agreed to call each other now and then, and…when the kids are on spring break”—an uneasy look crossed her face—“they want to stay at the B and B so we can have some time together.” Alexa’s expression turned pleading. “Cynthia wants to meet you, Mom, and thank you for being such a great mother to me. And I want you to meet her. You have something really important in common. You both surrendered a baby to another mother’s arms, and you both made something good from your mistakes.”

  Something good…Suzanne swallowed happy tears. She couldn’t speak.

  Alexa gave Suzanne’s hands a squeeze. “I’ve been so mad at Cynthia for leaving me in that alley. It seemed like such a heartless thing to do. But when she asked, I forgave her for abandoning me. After I said it, I just felt…free.”

  Paul placed his hand over their linked hands. “There’s healing in forgiveness, Alexa. For the one receiving it and for the one giving it.”

  “I’ll say so.” Alexa blew out a breath. “It’s so nice to get rid of the bag of boulders I was hauling around. I don’t ever want to stockpile that kind of anger at anyone again. It’s awful getting stuck in bitterness. Forgiveness is a lot better. It lets you restore relationships, but it also lets you restore yourself.”

  Suzanne shook her head. “You’re really growing up, Alexa. I’m so proud of you.”

  Alexa held her hands outward, impishness lighting her face. “What do you expect? We Zimmermans are overcomers.”

  Paul grinned. “Well, Zimmermans soon to be Aldriches, how about we go home?”

  Alexa tipped her forehead against Suzanne’s, and they smiled into each other’s teary eyes. Alexa whispered, “ ‘Home’ sounds perfect.”

  Arborville

  Suzanne peeked around the corner from the basement doorway. She turned to Anna-Grace, who stood close, and whispered, “It’s filling up. Kids will have to sit on laps, I think.”

  Anna-Grace clasped her hands beneath her chin, nervousness widening her blue eyes. “Are the decorations staying in place?”

  Suzanne risked another peek. Plate-sized bows they’d fashioned from strips of burlap hung from each windowsill, the clusters of silk violets and miniature daisies secure in the bows’ centers. She nodded. “The masking tape is holding fine. And the candles are all flickering.” She grinned at Anna-Grace. “Danny hasn’t blown them out yet.”

  They giggled together like a pair of schoolgirls. From the bottom of the stairs, Shelley hissed, “What are you two doing? Get down here before Paul and Steven see you.”

  With another burst of girlish giggles, Suzanne looped arms with Anna-Grace, and they descended the stairs in their matching dresses, the white ribbons from the caps bouncing on their shoulders.

  Shelley balled her fists on her hips and glowered at them. “Honestly, you two act no older than Ruby and Pearl.”

  Suzanne and Anna-Grace exchanged smirking grins before clearing their throats simultaneously and facing the self-appointed organizer of the wedding party. They chorused, “I’m sorry.” Suzanne’s heart danced at the easy camaraderie she shared with Anna-Grace. God had restored their relationship so beautifully.

  “Well, no harm done, I suppose. The grooms are holed up in the men’s cloakroom, and I doubt they’re peeking.” The corner of Shelley’s lips twitched as if she fought a grin. “Has the whole town turned out?”

  Anna-Grace nodded, her eyes reflecting amazement. “Suzy says kids have to sit on laps. I didn’t know how many people would be willing to drive over from Sommerfeld, and I didn’t know how many people from Arborville would come. After all, Steven and I didn’t grow up here, and Suzy’s been gone a really long time.”

  Shelley shook her head and released a heavy sigh. “Oh, Anna-Grace, what a goose you are. Of course people will come celebrate this day with you. Because they love you.” Her gaze shifted to Suzanne. “Both of you.”

  Suzanne touched Shelley’s wrist and offered her sister a smile. Shelley placed her hand over Suzanne’s, gave a stiff nod of acknowledgment, then turned away. “I better round up the girls. It’s almost time to go up.” She angled a frown at the cluster of little girls playing a makeshift game of hopscotch in the corner. She huffed. “What were you thinking to have so many junior attendants?”

  Of course Anna-Grace had wanted her little sister, Sunny, but Suzanne couldn’t choose between her nieces so she’d included Julie, Jana, Ruby, and Pearl.

  Shelley continued in her typically straightforward manner. “If Olivia hadn’t been willing to help, we would never have gotten the dresses done in time.” She whisked a look at Anna-Grace. “If I forget, please tell your mother thank-you for me.”

  Anna-Grace nodded, and tears stung Suzanne’s eyes. How wonderful to hear someone refer to Olivia as Anna-Grace’s mother without experiencing the sharp stab of pain and regret. Thanks to God’s healing touch, this day was all celebration. The way it should be.

  “I’ll get the girls settled down, and then I need to go upstairs.” Shelley delivered a peck on Anna-Grace’s cheek and then treated Suzanne to the same affectionate gesture before dashing off.

  Alexa left the cake table, where she’d been adding the final touches to the row of wedding cakes, and moved across the floor to Suzanne and Anna-Grace. Her deep purple dress heightened the gold flecks in her brown eyes.

  Love swelled in Suzanne’s heart as she watched her precious daughter approach. She automatically reached up and adjusted the white ribbons falling from Alexa’s cap, smoothing them down the caped bodice of the dress. She leaned in and pressed he
r cheek against Alexa’s. “You look so beautiful, sweetheart. Thank you for standing up with me today.”

  Alexa caught Suzanne’s hand and swung it gently. “Where else would I be? We’ve been together my whole life. It only seems right to be at your side when you move into the next phase of living.” She released Suzanne and turned a hesitant smile on Anna-Grace. “I’m too new to this Old Order stuff to know if you do the ‘something old, something new’ tradition, but I wondered…” She reached into the pocket sewn into her dress’s skirt seam and pulled out a long gold chain.

  Suzanne’s heart gave a leap when Alexa opened her hand and revealed the locket Suzanne’s father had given her mother more than forty years ago.

  Alexa held it out to Anna-Grace. “This is a family heirloom. Grandmother gave it to me, but would you like to wear it today?”

  Anna-Grace took the locket and gazed at it for several seconds. “Her betrothal locket, yes?”

  Alexa nodded.

  “So there’s a picture of our grandfather inside?”

  Our…Suzanne swallowed hard and blinked back tears. She would not greet Paul with a red nose and watery eyes!

  Alexa nodded again. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought, maybe…”

  Anna-Grace slipped the chain over her head and settled the locket in place, directly over her heart. “How does it look?”

  Alexa sighed. “Perfect.”

  Yes, perfect. Suzanne couldn’t have chosen a better word. Tears came again. Paul just might have to deal with a red-nosed, watery-eyed bride.

  Then Alexa wagged her finger at Anna-Grace. “But it’s only a loan. It’s covering both the ‘something old’ and ‘something borrowed,’ okay?”

  The three of them shared a laugh that chased away the remnants of Suzanne’s tears. They formed a group hug, which Shelley quickly disbanded with a tart command.

  “Andrew and Clete are at the top of the stairs. Time to go!”

  Rachel Ortmann, the cousin serving as Anna-Grace’s attendant, hurried over, and she and Alexa organized the little girls in a line from oldest to youngest. Clutching their miniature bouquets of violets and daisies, the girls in their matching yellow dresses marched in a solemn procession up the stairs, past Andrew and Clete, and around the corner.

  Rachel and Alexa went up next. At the top of the staircase, Alexa paused and sent a sweet smile over her shoulder to the brides before rounding the corner. Pulling in a steadying breath, Suzanne ascended the final steps and slipped her hand into the crook of her brother’s arm.

  Anna-Grace, escorted by her dad, entered the sanctuary.

  Clete pressed his hand over Suzanne’s and whispered, “This is it.” He sounded nervous, but he hadn’t even hesitated when Suzanne asked him to serve in place of their father. With his square chin and broad forehead, he strongly resembled the dad she remembered. Tears pricked. Would God let Dad know she was marrying the love of her life this evening? She hoped so.

  She squeezed Clete’s arm, eagerness trembling through her limbs. “Let’s go!”

  He pressed a quick kiss on her temple, straightened his shoulders, and led her through the doorway.

  An entire entourage filled the expanse of floor in front of the dais—the five little girl attendants on the women’s side, Danny and her nephew Jay on the men’s side, with Alexa, Rachel, Steven’s best friend from Sommerfeld, and Paul’s chosen groomsman forming a half circle behind the two grooms. Andrew and Anna-Grace moved slowly across the floor, their strides perfectly matched, the way a father’s and daughter’s should be.

  Suzanne and Clete followed the pair along the front women’s bench, which they’d pushed aside to accommodate Mother’s wheelchair. Mother, Olivia, Sandra, Tanya, and Shelley sat in a row, their smiling faces lifted to the entering brides.

  Suzanne returned their smiles with one of her own—a smile moistened by the tears she couldn’t prevent from falling. The joy flooding her had to come out somehow, and laughter—even joyous laughter—wouldn’t be appropriate. So she let happiness rain down her cheeks.

  Andrew and Anna-Grace moved up beside Steven, and finally Suzanne was rewarded with a clear view of her groom. He stood at an angle, his gaze locked on her, his dear brown-sugar eyes glowing with such love and eagerness. A sob rose from her throat and emerged on a little gasp of delight.

  She hurried Clete the final few feet and reached for Paul as he reached for her. Their hands joined—a clasp of unity that brought another flow of warm tears, but she no longer cared if her nose was red and her eyes swam. Paul loved her. He loved her unconditionally, the same way her Father-God loved her. Who cared whether her nose was red, blue, or even purple polka-dotted?

  Clete and Andrew, in unison, released the brides and moved aside. Deacon Epp, from his spot on the dais, opened his Bible and began to read. The service flowed exactly the way Anna-Grace had planned it, with the exception of four-year-old Jana yawning and scuffing across the floor, her bouquet abandoned on the edge of the dais, to climb into her mother’s lap midway through the lengthy sermon. But no one minded. The service was as perfect as the locket of gold glimmering on the bodice of Anna-Grace’s pale-blue dress.

  Somehow Suzanne’s emotion-tightened tonsils allowed her to pledge her life and love to Paul, and her chest swelled when he made the same vows to her. Finally Deacon Epp offered the words of commitment: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” And at last Suzanne lifted her face to receive her husband’s kiss. A short kiss, respectful of the watching congregation, but no less heartfelt.

  The congregation broke into applause. She and Paul linked fingers and faced the gathered witnesses, and Anna-Grace and Steven also turned. Anna-Grace’s fingers brushed Suzanne’s hand, and automatically she took hold. She smiled into Anna-Grace’s Zimmerman-blue eyes, then leaned forward slightly to catch sight of Alexa and Danny. The two of them had joined hands, and Alexa slipped her hand into Paul’s.

  Suzanne’s vision blurred, and a prayer of pure hosanna winged from her heart. My heavenly Father, thank You for Your wondrous power to restore and renew. Then, hand in hand with the ones she loved, Suzanne stepped forward into her God-designed future.

  2 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts, rolled flat to ¼ inch

  Handful raw spinach leaves, stems snipped and discarded

  ¼ cup crumbled cheese (goat cheese, feta, or another sharp white cheese)

  Salt and pepper

  ¼ cup butter

  ½ – ¾ cup heavy cream

  Layer the chicken breasts with spinach, and then sprinkle cheese over the spinach. Salt and pepper to taste. Roll up the chicken over the spinach and cheese and use toothpicks to hold the rolls together. Melt butter in a skillet and brown the rolls on all sides, then transfer the rolls to a baking sheet. (Reserve butter.) Bake rolls for 20–30 minutes at 350 degrees until chicken is done and cheese is melted.

  While chicken is baking, add cream to the butter in the skillet and cook over low heat, stirring frequently. Add pepper to taste.

  Remove the toothpicks from the chicken rolls and cut each into ½-inch to ¾-inch slices. Arrange the pinwheels on a serving dish and drizzle with the cream sauce. Serve with rice and crusty rolls, if desired. Serves four.

  4 pork chops, ½-inch-thick

  2 large green peppers, seeded and sliced into ¼-inch rings

  1 large onion, peeled and sliced into ¼-inch rings

  16-ounce can whole cranberry sauce

  Salt and pepper

  Spoon cranberry sauce into a Crockpot. Layer peppers and onions on the sauce. Season the pork chops with salt and pepper and place over the vegetables. Cook on low 6–8 hours (or high 3–4 hours). Serve over rice, if desired. Serves four.

  Readers Guide

  1. As the story opens, we see Linda and Tom reuniting with Suzanne. But a damper is thrown on the holiday celebration when they learn Suzanne hid the truth from them for twenty years. Why couldn’t Suzanne trust their friendship enough to tell them
Alexa was not her biological child? Why do we sometimes hold things back, even from our best friends?

  2. The chasm between Suzanne and her sister Shelley is deep and wide. While Suzanne appears to want reconciliation, as she’s experienced with her other siblings and her mother, Shelley remains aloof and judgmental. The twenty years that have transpired since Suzy went away will never be recovered, but Shelley seems bent on prolonging the rift. Why do family members sometimes hold grudges against one another, clinging to the belief they have a right to withhold their participation in a restoration of the family unit? How can we work to rebuild strained relationships?

  3. Tom and Linda play a very special role in this story—surrogate parents and grandparents for Suzanne and Alexa. Their patience, love, and compassion are unending, and these characters are portrayed as selfless and giving. How might we emulate Tom and Linda?

  4. Suzanne and Paul made a mistake in their teen years. But Anna-Grace wasn’t a mistake. How do we reconcile an act the Bible calls sin with the result of that act being a much-loved child? Although Anna-Grace’s adoptive parents were blessed by receiving the gift of this precious child, the sin Paul and Suzanne committed still carried consequences. How can God take a circumstance that starts out so wrong and make it good and beautiful?

  5. Alexa harbored anger and resentment against the woman who gave birth to her. Without knowing all the circumstances, she set her heart against this woman she had never met and nailed her bitterness in place with much determination, even going so far as to decide exactly what she was going to say to her biological mother when they met. How can we avoid making up our minds to be angry with a person or a situation without knowing all the facts?

  6. Cynthia wanted something so badly she lost focus on her family, then felt betrayed by Glenn when he didn’t offer the support she expected. Her response was to leave her husband and children—a drastic reaction. Cynthia and Glenn could have avoided the turn of events that resulted in their separation had they prayed together first about hiring the investigator and then communicated throughout the process. How does prayer guide you through difficult situations? Do you make different choices after consulting God than when you make choices on your own?