My Stepbrother, My Lover

by Ward, Alice

  Cynthia smiled, opened the door to my room, and I followed her inside. The walls of the room were more like partitions, stopping two feet before the ceiling. A tall, padded table sat in the middle of the room and an arrangement of lilies sat on the grey granite countertop. I stripped off my robe and hung it on a nearby hook.

  “Have you ever had a seaweed wrap before?” Cynthia asked as I climbed onto the table.

  I blushed. “No… I’ve never been to a spa before.” The confession made me feel unsophisticated and out of place.

  “Well, I hope you’re enjoying your visit here.” She took the lid off of a glass jar and scooped out green gunk with her hands. “Now, this doesn’t smell fantastic, but you’ll love what it does to your skin,” she explained as she slathered my legs with the goo. “It’s a mixture of seaweed and mineral mud. It will tighten your pores and make you as smooth as a baby.”

  The seaweed mixture was cold and smelled just as bad as Cynthia warned. The moment it touched my skin I felt the overwhelming need to take a shower.

  I can’t believe people pay for this… I can’t believe I paid for this. I thought as she covered the rest of my body with the offensive sludge.

  Cynthia finished covering my legs with the mud and pulled out an industrial sized roll of saran wrap. “I’ll pack you in hot towels once you’re completely covered. The heat helps release the toxins from your body. The plastic wrap keeps the towels from absorbing the seaweed mix,” she explained.

  She wrapped my legs together in the plastic and then had me sit up so she could put the mud on my back. I felt claustrophobic as she wrapped my torso in plastic, my arms pinned to my sides.

  “Now, you just lay back and relax and I’ll go get your towels,” she instructed.

  Cynthia left the room and I lay back on the table. A soft memory foam pillow cushioned my head and I fought the urge to bust out of my plastic wrap prison. I heard voices and laughter from the room next door and realized that I was next to the sorority sisters.

  As promised, Cynthia returned to the room with an armful of hot, steamy towels. She covered my body with them and then put an icy cold one around my neck.

  “This will keep you from overheating,” she explained. “The seaweed needs to sit for about half an hour. After that, I’ll take you to the needle shower and then you and Lauren can have your facials together.”

  “Oh Casey, you’re SO bad!” Someone from the next room exclaimed.

  “I’m sorry,” Cynthia told me. “We keep asking the girls to be quiet, but they’ve had several rounds of Mimosas and they don’t listen very well. Would you like some ear buds? You can listen to meditation music.”

  “That’s alright,” I told her. The truth was I was curious about the girls next door. The voyeur in me wanted to listen in on their conversations.

  “All right, well if you’re sure I’ll leave you now. If you need me, there’s a call button on the wall near your head.”

  I rolled my head over and saw the red button mounted behind me.

  I guess I’m supposed to push it with my face.

  I sighed, closed my eyes, and tried to relax. Between the claustrophobia and the rancid smell of the seaweed mud, it was a futile effort.

  It’s just thirty minutes, it won’t kill you. Next time I can skip this part and just get the massage.

  The girls next door kept laughing and the volume of their conversation increased with each passing moment. I resented the fact that they were having a good time together, while Lauren and I were separated. I knew I’d feel much more comfortable if she were in the room with me.

  “So Meredith, Casey says you’ve come up with a master plan for revenge,” an unidentified voice said.

  Meredith?! Surely it’s not…

  But there was no mistaking the voice that replied.

  “I have. And that bastard and his little bitch deserve everything that’s about to happen to them.”

  “Do tell.”

  “Well, let’s just say that his new mommy and sister are about to be in hot water on campus.”

  Hot rage filled my body as I listened to Meredith’s words. I felt my face flush and knew that it had nothing to do with the hot towels and plastic wrap.

  “Listen Meredith, I know that you’re pissed at Jackson, but do you really have to take it out on Professor Nightingale? She’s amazing. I’d hate to see her get in trouble.”

  Amazing? My mother is twice the woman any of you will ever be.

  I fought my plastic bindings, determined to storm into the next room and tell Meredith exactly what she could do with her plans. But Cynthia had done a fantastic job of wrapping me up and after a few failed attempts I collapsed back on to the pillow.

  “If she didn’t want trouble, she shouldn’t have failed me,” Meredith insisted. “I know that snooty bitch daughter of hers ran to mommy and told her all about the mean sorority girl she found with her precious boyfriend. My final paper was amazing, she failed me because her daughter told her to and I’m going to make sure everyone on campus knows it.”

  “Doesn’t Professor Nightingale have tenure? I doubt she’ll be fired no matter what you report.”

  “She might keep her job, but she’s going to lose her reputation. And by the time I’m done with Kennedy and Jackson, they’ll be kissing grad school goodbye. They’ll be lucky if Harvard lets them stay for senior year.”

  “Meredith, I think you’re getting your hopes up for nothing,” another sorority girl warned. “The Montgomerys are loaded. I’m sure that they’ll just make another obscene donation to the school, no one’s going to listen to you.”

  That’s right you stupid bitch. My new family has more money than you could ever dream of. Just try to come after us and see what happens. You’ll be the one looking for a new school.

  It was the first time that the Montgomery money made me feel invincible and I realized that Jackson must feel that way all the time. That’s why he moved with such confidence and never seemed to worry about anything. It was also why he had a hard time hearing the word no.

  I heard a door open and another bubbly voice announced “Okay girls, it’s time to move to the showers. Let’s get you all unwrapped.”

  The sorority girls quieted down and I laid on my table, trying to figure out what to do about Meredith’s plan. It was obvious that she was going to accuse my mother of failing her for personal reasons. I had no idea what she planned to say about Jackson and me, but I was sure our relationship was about to be revealed.

  ***

  “I still can’t believe that that bitch is planning to go after you and your mom,” Lauren said, slamming a box of fruit snacks onto a plastic folding table. It was a Wednesday, two days after I’d overheard Meredith and her friends at the spa. Lauren, Becky, Rory, Jackson, and I were all at Westside Elementary. Most of the schools that FLA sponsored had invited us to their end of the year parties, and we were happy to have some more time with the kids. Jackson was teaching some of the boys how to spin a basketball on their fingers while Becky braided a little girl’s hair. She had a line of other girls waiting for their turn, and Lauren, Rory, and I were setting up the snack table.

  “If you knew Meredith, you’d know this is typical for her,” Rory told us. “She’s a spoiled brat and can’t handle it when she doesn’t get exactly what she wants. She and Jackson had that in common. When they agreed on something, it was smooth sailing, but when they argued it was like World War III had erupted at the frat house. If I were you, I’d be worried, Kennedy. That girl is like a one woman demolition squad.”

  “Jackson promised that he won’t let her do anything stupid,” I reminded them as I put ice into plastic cups.

  “If Jackson could control her, they’d still be together,” Rory huffed. “Finding her with that teaching assistant was the best thing that ever happened to him… second best, maybe,” he added. He gave me a knowing look and one side of his mouth curled into a smile. I blushed and knocked over two of the cups.

  �
�You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of Rory,” Lauren told me with a warm smile. “He thinks that you and Jackson would be great together.”

  Rory nodded. “I have to tell you, I’ve never seen Jackson get like this over a woman.”

  “That can’t be true,” I argued. “He came to the tutoring center because his grades dropped so low after he and Meredith broke up. He said that he was crushed after he caught her cheating.”

  “He was crushed all right,” Rory agreed. “But it was his ego, not his heart. Jackson is used to winning, and Meredith was his prize. She’s hot, she comes from a wealthy family, and she has all the right social connections. They were like the prom king and queen. Her cheating on him was embarrassing. It reminded Jackson that he’s a mere mortal like the rest of us and that there are things his money can’t buy.”

  Lauren and Rory started assembling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I thought about what Rory had said. I’d been certain that Jackson had let his grades slide because he’d lost the love of his life. I’d never considered that it was a case of a badly bruised ego and not a broken heart.

  “Kennedy, are you all right?” Lauren asked. “You look like you’re in a trance.”

  “I’m fine,” I replied quickly. I started filling the cups with Kool-Aid. “Just thinking...”

  Rory glanced towards Jackson and lowered his voice. “Look, Monty would kill me for telling you this, but he’s got it pretty bad for you. He has since that first day you tutored him. He says that you’re the complete opposite of every other woman he’s ever dated. I think, mostly, because you’re not at all impressed by his name or his money. He told me how you stood up to him the other day. I don’t think anyone has ever talked to him like that before.”

  “So he likes me because I was a bitch?” I asked with a nervous laugh.

  “You could say that, I guess. He likes you because you have a mind of your own. Meredith was a vapid social climber. All she cared about was going to parties and buying expensive clothes. You have interests and goals… substance.”

  “But our parents,” I started to argue.

  “Lauren told me that you’re afraid that your mom and Jack won’t understand,” Rory interrupted. “But how will you ever know unless you talk to them about it?”

  “I don’t know…” I hesitated.

  Lauren sat her butter knife down on the table and turned to look me in the eye. “Kennedy, can you honestly say that you’ll be happy just being Jackson’s stepsister? You’ve already said that you can’t bear the thought of seeing him with another woman.”

  “I can’t,” I confessed. “But I also can’t imagine the awkwardness of being with him. You’ve read the articles about Mom and Jack. You and Lewis were the ones who warned me that the press would crucify me and Jackson if we got together. They’ll make a huge scandal out of it.”

  Lauren shrugged. “Maybe they will. But the story will die out fast enough. I know I was against you and Jackson dating in the beginning, Kennedy. But I’ve watched you mope around the room long enough. If Jackson makes you happy, maybe you should go for it.”

  Rory smiled. “It would be nice if you two got together. We could all double date.”

  I wanted to tell them that they were right. I wanted to rush over to Jackson, take the basketball from his hands, and jump into his arms. But something stopped me. I was afraid of my mother’s reaction, of what our classmates would say about our relationship. I thought about Patrick, my first boyfriend, and how long it had taken me to get over him. I knew that if I gave in to my feelings for Jackson and we broke up, I’d never recover. There would be no closure, I wouldn’t have the time or space away from him that I’d need to heal my heart. I looked away from Jackson, picked up the Kool-Aid pitcher and continued filling the cups.

  “This isn’t the time or place to talk about this,” I insisted. “Let’s just focus on the kids and make sure that they have a good time today. My relationship troubles can wait.”

  ***

  “I’m sure you’re both wondering why you’re here,” Mom said with a mischievous grin. It was the day after the school party and Mom and Jack had summoned Jackson and me to lunch at Mama Suzie’s. Mom looked more like herself than she had since before she and Jack announced their engagement. She wore a long black tunic, grey leggings, and let her hair fall loose around her head. The goddess pendant sat at the top of her breastbone, exactly where it belonged.

  Jack reached across the table and took Mom’s hand. “Gloria and I have some news.”

  Claudette arrived at the table with a plate of fresh beignets. “Your orders will be out in just a few minutes, but I thought that you’d like these while they’re hot.”

  “Thank you, Claudette,” Mom smiled as the waitress disappeared. “Anyway, we have news about the wedding and we hope you’ll both be as excited about it as we are.”

  “The wedding?” Jackson asked. “Has something changed?”

  Mom and I were on one side of the booth, Jackson and his dad on the other. Mom continued talking, but I didn’t hear anything she said. I stared at Jackson. It was so hard to be so close to him without being able to touch him. I wanted to sit next to him in the booth. I fantasized about our legs rubbing against each other under the table and our hands meeting in secret as our parents talked, unaware of what was happening right in front of them. The need to feel his body, any part of his body, against mine was consuming.

  “So what do you think?” Mom finished.

  “I think that it sounds perfect Gloria. I can’t wait for the trip,” Jackson replied.

  Trip? Where are we going?

  I realized I’d missed something important during my daydream. I didn’t want to admit that I wasn’t paying attention.

  “Yes, that sounds great,” I agreed without any idea of what I was agreeing to.

  “We’ll have to have a quickie ceremony at City Hall when we get home,” Mom continued. “But that’s just a formality. The real wedding will be on the beach at sunset. And you kids will be the only guests.”

  The beach… we must be going to Fiji.

  “What made you change your mind about the big wedding?” I asked. I dipped a beignet in chocolate sauce and tried to pay attention. The hot, sugary dough melted in my mouth and I made a mental note to do a few extra miles on the treadmill.

  “Kennedy, I just explained that. Weren’t you listening?”

  “I’m sorry Mom. I guess I’m… distracted.”

  “The wedding was taking on a life of its own,” Mom explained. “We were too focused on what everyone expected instead of what we actually want. I couldn’t care less about the actual wedding. I was just going along with it because I thought that was what Jack wanted.”

  “And I was only going along with it because I thought it was what Gloria wanted,” Jack added. “Last night, after spending three hours trying to come up with a seating arrangement, we decided it’s just not worth the trouble.”

  “But you’ve already sent out the invitations,” I reminded them.

  Mom shook her head. “We’ve sent out save the date cards, but no formal invitation. I’ll send everyone an email saying that the date is changing and then we’ll send out announcements once we get home. If no one knows what’s going on, we’ll have a better chance of keeping the wedding private. We leave for Fiji in two weeks. We’ll tell everyone that we’re going on our first family vacation. And I know what you’re thinking, Kennedy, I’ve already called the bridal shop and asked them to expedite your gown. They assured me that it will be ready before we leave. They’re going to ship both of our gowns to a Boston seamstress so we don’t have to fly back to the city for our fittings.”

  My bridesmaid dress was the furthest thing from my mind. All I could think about was being at one of the most romantic places on the earth with the man I was falling in love with, and having to pretend that I only saw him as a brother. I watched Jackson take a bite of a beignet and remembered the way his lips felt against my bare skin.<
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  “Now, Jack and I will want plenty of time alone on the island,” Mom continued. “But I’m sure the two of you will find lots of things to do. It will give you a chance to get to know each other better.”

  My coffee cup was halfway to my lips. When Mom mentioned Jackson and me getting to know each other better, I dropped the mug and it shattered against the table.

  “Kennedy! Are you okay?” Jack asked.

  “My goodness sweetheart, what’s gotten in to you?” Mom asked. She started to clean up the mess with her napkin and Claudette rushed to the table with a wet bar towel.

  “I’m fine, Mom,” I assured her. I wanted to disappear.

  “I’ll get that, Ms. Nightingale,” the waitress insisted.

  “Are you sure you’re feeling well, Kennedy?” Mom asked. “Maybe you’re not completely over that bug you had last week.”

  “No, I feel fine,” I told her again. “I’m just a little clumsy today.”

  “You were clumsy yesterday too,” Jackson reminded me.

  “Yesterday? What were the two of you doing yesterday?” Mom asked.

  Claudette finished wiping up the mess and went to the kitchen to get me a fresh mug.

  “We went to the end of the year party at Westside Elementary,” Jackson told them. “Kennedy knocked over a tray of cups, ice went everywhere.”

  “Maybe you should see a doctor,” Jack suggested. “We have a great primary care guy, much better than those hacks at the campus clinic. I can call and make you an appointment if you want.”

  I shook my head. “I knocked over the cups yesterday because Lauren said something that took me by surprise. And I worked out late last night. I was exhausted when I got home so I went to bed without eating anything. Then I slept in and didn’t eat breakfast. I’m sure my blood sugar is low or something and that’s why I’m a little shaky. I’ll feel better after I eat.”

  Aside from my explanation for knocking over the ice cups, everything I said was a lie. But I didn’t want Mom and Jack to worry and I certainly wasn’t going to tell them the truth.