by Lisa N. Paul
“I don’t want to go back,” she blurted.
The men’s discussion halted, and the weight of their stares was palpable.
“Huh?”
“What?”
Julie blinked. “I don’t want to go back…”
“To where, honey?” Danny crossed the room, handed her her glass, and sat by her side. “Our house or Baltimore?”
“Yes,” Julie answered simply. Her glance shifted from Danny to Chester and back. She inhaled deeply and slowly released the air to bide her time while she organized thoughts she had no idea she’d been thinking. “Our house…every time I walk through it, I see what we almost had but never will. Could we find another house? Sure, of course.” With each word that left her mouth, Julie found strength she didn’t know she had and urgency she couldn’t explain. “But why? Danny, there are forty-nine other states. Frankly, after everything we’ve gone through, I’m ready to start fresh somewhere else. Your dad lives here. Chester”—she looked at her friend who sat quietly in the corner—“lives down south. We’re young, we have each other. Let’s not go back.” Her breaths were frantic as she finished her thoughts.
Her statements were met with silence. Danny appeared to focus on the circles he traced over her denim clad thigh, infusing her skin with his warmth. Slow, hypnotic motions that calmed her racing heart and loosened the knot that had formed in her belly. By the time Danny lifted his gaze to hers, maybe a minute had passed—a few seconds -a serene vibe floated through her blood. Tranquility only Danny could give her.
He cupped her cheek. “I hear what you’re saying, Julie, but I need to ask, ‘cause I’ve been where you are—I joined the Army, for Christ’s sake, and problems followed me even in the jungle. So honey…you running away?”
Understanding struck hard as she shook her head. “No, I want us to find something new. Something special. A dream that’s ours, that we can build together. Not running away, running toward…”
“Then I’m with you, baby.” Small lines etched around Danny’s eyes as his lips curled up. “Anywhere you wanna go. We’ll figure it out, okay?”
“Ahem.”
Julie had forgotten about Chester’s presence until he cleared his throat.
“Not to interrupt this heartfelt moment, but you kids did have it in front of me so…”
Heat suffused Julie’s cheeks.
“No, Julie girl,” Chester said, confirming he may actually have the mind-reading skills she’d accused him of years ago, “there isn’t anything for you to be ashamed of. The two of you, Jesus, fighters the likes I’ve never seen before. Soldiers, warriors, survivors. In this life, I believe survivors are drawn to each other. While we don’t always share our war stories, we still mend each other’s wounds. You both have healed me. From the day we met.” Chester’s clear blue eyes focused on Julie’s. “Even before we met, you offered me a life I thought long gone.”
Julie’s eyes watered with emotion, and Danny’s arms tightened around her torso. Chester swallowed a large gulp of his drink.
“You’re adults,” Chester stated gruffly, the emotion from seconds before little more than a memory. “You make your own damn choices, but if you’re lookin’ to move, I got some suggestions.”
“Let’s hear ‘em,” Danny said.
“There’s a gem of a town ‘bout an hour from Philadelphia—Charistown, it’s called. Peaceful place surrounded by farms and other small towns. Place thrives on local businesses. Passed through it on several occasions over the years, even stayed a time or two.” Chester grinned. “Got people there.”
Laughter bubbled from Julie’s chest. “Of course you do, Ches. Where don’t you have people? Danny, I swear, one day we’re gonna find out our friend here worked as a secret agent or something.”
“Anyway,” Chester drew the word out, “know you two have talked about opening your own bar for years. While Charistown’s farther north, if that ain’t an issue, I could make some calls. I know someone who’s dyin’ to sell his joint and move to warmer climates.”
Judging by the look on Danny’s face, he felt the same tingle of skepticism that filled Julie’s bones.
“Don’t know, man, seems mighty convenient that every time you’ve needed real estate, you’ve had a friend just ‘dying’ to relocate,” Danny probed.
“You lookin’ to start over?” Chester asked.
“Yeah,” Danny stated.
“You and our girl need a fresh start in a place you can trust?”
Julie’s eyes jetted back and forth between the men. She had nothing to add to the conversation. She trusted both men and knew Danny would forever guard her with his life.
“Yeah, Ches, that’d be amazing.”
“Then I got a friend who’s dyin’ to move. End of story.”
Danny turned Julie to face him. “What do you think of Charistown, Pennsylvania, honey? I hear it’s a great little town.” He winked. “Nice place to start over.”
“Charistown,” Julie repeated. The name alone felt like a cozy blanket on a cool day. Charistown tumbled through her mind as thoughts of beginning anew with her husband took shape. “I love it.”
Danny nodded, excitement sparkling in his hazel eyes. The understanding that he wasn’t just entertaining her concerns but was once again on the same page was mind bending. When he ran his knuckles along her jaw, shivers tingled up her spine, but it was his voice that liquefied her insides. The way it had begun to change over their time together—becoming a little rougher, a little more gravelly—seeped with sexiness even when the conversation wasn’t sexual.
“Tell your friend to pack fast,” Danny announced. “My woman and I wanna get our shit settled in Baltimore and our asses to this special place before February one.”
With her back to him, Julie heard the smile in Chester’s tone when he answered, “It’d by my pleasure.”
Taking Danny’s outstretched hand, Julie rose from the couch and faced a still reclining Chester. “There are no words, Ches. At least none that can sum up what I’m feeling. So thank you will have to do.”
“No words needed, Julie girl. But you both are very welcome. I’ll have some details worked out for you before my flight out tomorrow. Now you two go to bed, and I’ll close off all these lights. And remember…I’m right across the hall. While I may be older, I’m not deaf.” His glare aimed at Danny was comical. “She’s like a daughter, you punk. No need to hear the shit I heard last night. Christ, fuckin’ had to bleach my brain.”
Thank goodness Julie knew where the fire extinguishers were, because her face nearly burst into flames.
“Nice, Chester, real smooth,” Danny teased. “Couldn’t have pulled me aside for that little chat?”
Shaking his head, Chester chuckled. “That’s not how we roll, boy, and you know it. Be happy I didn’t leave a Post-It note on your damn door.”
“Oh my God,” Julie gasped.
The three laughed and hugged before turning in for the night.
Chapter Nineteen
Moving Not Dying
PACKING TAPE SCREECHED as it unrolled to seal the flaps of the cardboard moving box.
“Last damn one,” Danny grumbled, hefting the carton to his shoulder. “Chris, you mind getting the door for me?”
The men had spent the past few days loading up the U-Haul in preparation for Danny and Julie’s move to Pennsylvania.
“I still can’t believe how fast you guys pulled this together,” Chris said when Danny reentered the house. Chris grabbed the last two beers from the otherwise empty refrigerator, popped them open, and handed one to Danny. “Christ, you guys go out of town a few days for Christmas, and less than five weeks later, you’re packing up and moving to some bumble-fuck town? Thank God you didn’t take a two-week cruise—hell, you’d’ve come back telling us you were moving to Ireland or some shit.” There was no animosity in his friend’s statement. Chris and Sheila, while sad to see their closest friends uprooting, were excited for them to experience new opportunities
.
“I know, crazy how fast it all happened,” Danny admitted. His gaze roamed the empty house. “But every time she steps foot in this place, every time she thinks ‘bout this fucking place, it’s like the light dims in her eyes. Don’t know if Sheila told you, but we stopped sleeping here two weeks ago.”
Chris’s brows furrowed, indicating he’d had no idea.
“Thought just knowing we were leaving would make being here easier, but it didn’t. Listened to Julie toss and turn each night until she’d get up and drift around from room to room,” Danny said.
The memory of confronting her was etched into his brain. After night three of watching her slither out of their bed and not return until dawn, concern and curiosity had finally made him search for her. He watched her go from their daughter’s room to their would-be son’s, then down the stairs to the main room. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, even in a house lit only by the garden lights that filtered through the windows. Her cries were noiseless, but her pain was deafening as she faced the window and the softly lit flowers.
“Jules,” he whispered as he approached, “what’s going on, honey?”
“Oh.” Her breath hitched. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Babe, when you’re not next to me, I’m awake. Now talk to me.”
A sigh left her body, one so large he felt the relief in his own frame. “It’s just…I remember when we bought this house. Our dreams were big, so filled with hope…and after all these years, we’re moving, and I’m having trouble recalling memories that don’t suck.”
When her eyes met his, he understood exactly what she was saying. They had had many years of love and happiness under that roof, but they had lived through so much pain and heartbreak and were leaving on the tail end of devastation.
He placed his front to her back and swept her long hair over her left shoulder before pressing his lips to her right. “Baby, can give you more memories that don’t suck.” He couldn’t hide the smile in his voice. “Well, there will be sucking, but I promise, when you think of this night…” He felt goose bumps cover her skin as his tongue slid up her neck to her ear. “This will be the final night we spend in this house, this memory the last you’ll have here. Let me make it amazing.”
Her moan was the only confirmation he needed before he swept her into his arms and walked to the sofa. He spread her beneath him before he took his time and made sweet love to her until the birds chirped and the newspaper thumped when it landed on their doorstep.
As promised, they never spent another night under that roof. His wife had slept peacefully tucked into his side ever since.
“Shit,” Chris interrupted Danny’s memory. “I had no idea it was that bad, man. I’m sorry.”
“It was,” Danny admitted before raising his beer to his friend. “Now it isn’t.”
Once finished, the men disposed of the beer bottles, slid the retractable door of the U-Haul down, and locked it before doing a final walk-through of the house and the property.
“You sure you have a pad waiting for you in Charistown?” Chris asked, even though he’d heard the plan Danny and Julie had discussed several times during the past few weeks.
Grinning, Danny allowed his buddy to worry the way he would have if the tables were reversed. “Yeah, man. We have a small apartment rented on a month-to-month basis until we can get the lay of the land. When we went up there a couple of weeks ago, we realized it’d be a mistake to buy a place without living in the area first. So we’re gonna throw our shit into storage until we find the right home. There’s no rush. Not running from anything, Chris, just starting over.”
From the moment Danny had laid eyes on Charistown, he knew exactly what Chester had meant when he referred to it as a “gem of a town.” Julie had felt it too. Tranquility floated through his veins as they drove down Main Street, and he knew without a doubt, starting over in that town couldn’t be more right.
“Have you decided on a name for the bar yet?”
The earnest concern in Chris’s question made Danny grin as he pulled the front door of the house closed for the final time. After yanking the key from the lock, dropping it into an envelope, and handing it to Chris, who would pass it off to the realtor in the morning, Danny answered the question.
“No. Haven’t come up with a name…yet.” The two men climbed into the U-Haul and buckled up before Danny continued. “Know this might not make a lick of sense to you, but Jules and I are at a point where we may be grateful for our blessings, but we sure as shit don’t count ‘em before we got ‘em.”
Chris’s stare told Danny that his friend almost understood but hadn’t quite caught it, so Danny went deeper. “We named two babies that we never held, brother. That shit ain’t right. So we’re just gonna wait and see which of the properties we end up with. Chester’s guy was still on the fence when we were up there, so we looked at a couple other locations. Once our name is on the deed, the transaction complete…we’ll name that bitch with pride and scream it out loud. Till then…we’ll stay unattached to anything but each other.”
“Understood.” Chris nodded. And Danny knew his friend did.
When discussing whether or not moving to another state was really the right thing for them, Danny and Julie had discussed their current jobs as well as their dreams of owning a bar. That had always felt like a long-term goal, something to achieve after children and college tuition, but when the structure of their family changed, so did their goals. One evening, over too many cocktails and not enough carbs, their motto became “Go Big or Stay in Baltimore.” With plenty of money in their savings account and years of business and bar experience between the two of them, they decided to follow their passion…they were going big.
They realized, during their visit to Charistown, that more important than finding the perfect place to lay their heads was finding the best place to pour their beers. From that minute forward, the search shifted and the real fun began. Of course, Chester had some choice words when Danny called from Pennsylvania to tell him that his friend was waffling on the property, but when Julie got on the phone and calmly explained that other places were equally as appealing, the older man calmed down. Danny still smiled every time he thought of the call Julie had received the following Monday from the realtor, claiming Chester’s friend was not only ready to sell but his asking price had dropped. However, they hadn’t been lying when they’d said they were interested in other places.
“Well, this is it.” Danny parked the U-Haul in the parking lot of O’Brian’s, inhaled, and turned to his friend. “I know there’re no good-byes among us, but…” His throat tightened as he swallowed back emotions he’d kept at bay for weeks. “You’ve been a friend…a brother.” He swallowed again and cleared his throat. “No words to thank you for what you’ve been and all you’ve given.”
“No words needed, Dan,” Chris replied. “You and Julie are two of the finest people I’ve ever known. Sheila and I were blessed when you entered our lives.”
Danny’s nostrils stung with tears. Fuck, you’re moving, not dying, Marcus. Keep your shit tight.
“Bro, I bet Sheila twenty bucks that I wouldn’t get—her words—all emotional. My words—pussied up. So let’s end this here.” Wiping the wet from his eyes, Chris grinned. “You’re only a few hours away, my man. That’s it, no big deal. And with cell phones…holy shit, I’ll probably talk to you too often.”
“Yeah, that would sound stalkerish coming from a chick. Coming from a man…shit’s just creepy.” Danny forced a shiver and a guffaw before hopping out of the truck. Chris’s laugh echoed in the afternoon air. “Let’s get in there and separate the women. Can’t imagine it’s gonna be pretty.”
“Nope, got fifty and an office blow job riding on that,” Chris muttered.
“Ha, why’d she take that bet? Those two cry over Hallmark commercials.”
That was one of the things Danny loved about his wife. She was stronger than any man he’d ever met, but since dealing with the
loss of their baby and her infertility, she was no longer afraid of her emotions. They were her badges of survival, and only those close to her got to see them. He was proud to witness everything she had to share.
“Sheila swears she has no more tears left. All these years together, and she has no clue how well I know her. Silly woman.” Chris shrugged, opened the glass door to the pub, and walked in.
Danny followed. Sure enough, the women were hugging hard behind the bar while the staff poured drinks as if the two women didn’t exist.
“Oh shit,” Sheila gasped, turning her head to face Julie. “They’re here. I need to run to the bathroom.”
“Oh, no, you don’t, woman.” A deep laugh rolled from Chris’s chest. “Get your sweet ass over here. Hands to your sides. Don’t try to get rid of the evidence.”
Julie’s giggles grabbed Danny’s attention away from Sheila’s tear-streaked face. Julie’s watery eyes were filled with much more than sadness as she ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, touching her lips to his.
“I know you’re gonna miss them, babe,” she whispered. “I can see it all over your face, but it’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. I just know it.”
His heart pounded. “No, honey, we’re going to be amazing.”
“Not to be a dick, but the lunch rush is over and, judging by the current state of my wife”—Chris winked—“looks like we have important business to tend to in the back office.”
Sheila elbowed her husband in the gut, making the four of them laugh. After one last round of hugs, Danny led his woman to the U-Haul and drove to their new life in Charistown, PA.
