I loved Angela; she was always my biggest supporter no matter what crazy mess I got myself into.
Ring, ring. I looked down and saw Terry calling me.
“Hey, I have to grab this.” I excused myself from the table to talk to Terry.
“Yo.”
“Where you at?”
“At Chow Baby’s with Angela. Why, what’s good?”
“I thought you was coming out with me tonight?”
“Relax, I’m still coming, but it’s only nine p.m., since when do you go out this early?”
“Oh, you got jokes. What time you coming down?”
“Maybe like eleven or so. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothing, man, I’m just asking.”
“Oh, okay, well, let me finish up dinner and I’ll hit you up later.”
“A’right, one.”
Terry had been mad at me because I’d been in town a few times in the last year and really hadn’t been chilling with him. Mainly because I worked on Saturdays and hung out with David on Thursdays and/or Fridays.
Toni knew I was close with a lot of male friends, but I started to distance myself from them because he said he never trusted any of them. The navy had made him very jealous and sadly insecure. He would even check my emails from the boat because he knew the password. I had nothing to hide, really, so I pretended like I didn’t know he was checking my emails. I couldn’t even talk to him about some of my male coworkers without him blowing up on me about them and their “intention.” I was also so confused, as I never had a reason not to trust Toni, but also since I was clueless about the people on the ship, I figured I was cool. I knew he was getting close to a shipmate named Felix. I was happy he and Felix could talk and stuff, as he always said Felix helped him stay grounded and always kept him in check. So I guess I owed this Felix guy dinner once they got back, for keeping him calm, even though I was scared to see him on edge if he didn’t have Felix to talk to.
After Angela and I left dinner, I quickly touched up my makeup and headed back downtown to meet Terry. I missed hanging out with Terry, and believe it or not, I hadn’t been out with him since his birthday party over a year and a half ago. This just wasn’t the same and my mind was elsewhere, keeping in mind this was the first time coming to Atlanta and not hitting up David. I missed our time together. It wasn’t anything physical, but the emotional connection we had was crazy and I missed it. I was itching to send him a text because I really didn’t feel like going out, but I didn’t do it. Terry kept bothering me to have a drink, but I kept declining. Outside of the two glasses of wine I had at Chow Baby’s, I didn’t drink anything else that night. After about an hour in the club I dipped out the back door without saying anything to Terry. I knew he would be upset, but I just wasn’t feeling it, so I made my way to the car and I heard someone call my name.
“Yo, JR.”
I stopped to turn around and saw David’s best friend Adam running up to me. “Crap,” I said to myself. “Yo, Adam, what’s up?”
“Good. Man, D said you moved out of town. Are you back?”
“Naw, I’m just visiting.”
“How are you doing? How’s your girl Angela?”
“Man, she is good, everything is good.” I smiled because after Angela went out on one date with him she was over him, as he only wanted sex from her and she wasn’t that kind of girl.
“You leaving? Is it wack inside? I was just about to go in. Let me buy you a bottle of water.”
I just smiled because it seemed like Adam remembered me pretty well. I used to ride with David, so I drank, but if he’d seen me solo, he knew I wouldn’t drink.
“Thanks anyway, I was just heading out.”
“Oh, okay, congrats, by the way. David told me you’re getting married.”
I just froze.
“You know my man was really feeling you, but he says he is happy for you.”
“Is he really happy for me?” I said, giving him the look. “Look, man.” I paused and said, “You know something, never mind. I’m out of here.”
“Wait, what, tell me what you got to say.”
“It’s not important. Have a good night.” I headed to my car.
“Come on, JR, don’t leave me hanging,” he yelled as I opened the rent-a-car’s door and began to pull away, leaving him standing outside with his arms up.
I really couldn’t do this now. Maybe coming to Atlanta wasn’t a good idea, as my past was all around me and I couldn’t seem to escape it. I needed a fresh start, so maybe Virginia was that fresh start I needed. I felt so sure in my mind for the first time in months.
I spent the rest of my trip checking on my townhome and my new tenant Shantal, my mother’s rental property, which was now vacant since she had to evict her tenant, and did some shopping on the low. Then I was back home in New Jersey. I finally found a tenant (my aunt) and she was set to rent the top of my home in two weeks. I moved all of my things to the basement and made my way back to Norfolk. I figured instead of renting a U-Haul I could just leave my things in the basement and come back to pick them up when Toni and I really got settled in Norfolk.
I also needed to start planning my “wedding.” I didn’t know much about planning a wedding, so I convinced Toni to have a destination wedding in the Bahamas. I spent the last month before Toni came home planning the wedding and finding houses in Norfolk. Since Toni’s credit was all over the place, I also spent the last month or so cleaning it up with the help of Natalie and the broker. We ended up having to pay off a bunch of creditors, which totaled up to five thousand dollars and still it wasn’t good enough because of his low rank in the military, so we didn’t qualify for the house. I was so depressed, but Natalie ended up helping me find a townhome to rent. I had to do everything on my own because the guys’ ship was held up again for another two weeks. At least Toni would have a place to live and call home when he finally got back.
This is My New Life…
Toni came back from the deployment, and things just weren’t right with him nor us. First, he came back about twenty-five pounds heavier, but I found it funny because most of the other guys came back in better shape than they left. The apartment was nice and Toni was happy to get settled in. I remembered Toni making a comment last year about everything I had in the old house was mine and he felt like he didn’t have anything. Which was correct, he didn’t have any furniture when we met so, yes, everything in the house was mine. However, to start off on the right foot and to be fair, I sold all of my furniture in my basement in New Jersey and got all new furniture, so the house was truly ours.
Our new life in Norfolk was off on a better foot, and since I learned so much from Natalie about the changes in the guys, I was prepared. The time on the ship was hard on me and, of course, on Toni. He was so bitter and angry all of the time. It got to the point when I didn’t even want to talk to him anymore, but most of the time I just listened on the phone when he called. I couldn’t sound like I was having too much fun without him because this made things worse, so I often only spoke about my work and that was it. I didn’t mention the nights out with the crew or with my old Macy’s friends, the time Angela came to visit me, nor when I went to Atlanta or even when I visited Angela’s family in Baltimore for the weekend. I kept it on the low, but I felt like I was keeping the peace in our relationship, so I felt it was a justified reason.
***
It had been almost a month since Toni got back from his first deployment. Every day was a challenge, but he was getting better day by day. He thanked me daily for putting up with his behavior during his deployment and was excited about our up and coming wedding. We ended up having a small wedding in Bahamas with only thirty-five guests, most of them were my family, as Toni said the guys couldn’t get off work to come, but I found out from Natalie that no one wanted to come because he was such a jerk during deployment that he seriously had no friends and almost everyone hated him. I invited Natalie, but Johnny had forbidden her to go. She felt so bad and I was so em
barrassed, but what could I really do or say about it. In the end, our wedding was nice and simple. It was funny, I was so nervous and scared about remarrying Toni because of his anger during the deployment. I wondered if I would have went through with marrying him if this was our real first wedding. There was no turning back, as we were just going to remarry so our family and friends would think it was our first wedding. Even though I believed many people already knew we were married, as a few wondered about my new life in Norfolk.
We’d been officially married for one year and two months since we got remarried on our one-year anniversary. At this point, I was feeling like a navy wife as I ended up picking up a part-time job at a local theater house and the pay sucked, so I relied heavily on Toni’s salary. He knew this and used this to his advantage every chance he got. It drove me crazy. I was trying to play my role, but I felt like I was losing myself day by day with Toni. He was happy as the roles of the house turned, but I wasn’t. I wished we had more of a balance in the household. I never pictured myself just working part time and barely having enough money to buy myself anything nice. Toni’s salary paid everything, the rent, the car insurance, the food, even travel whenever we did travel. I was slowly going into depression, but Toni promised we would try again to buy a house next year, which I was happy about.
***
“Yo, Jamie,” Toni yelled from upstairs.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“What time are you going to work today?”
“I don’t have to be in until twelve. I’m trying to pick up some extra shifts now that it’s the summer and they’re trying to do two shows instead of one.”
“Oh, okay, well, I have to work late today and then I was going out with some of the guys after work.”
“Oh, okay, have a good day. Wait, I may go on base and go to the gym, then, after work.”
I often mentioned the gym because I was still trying to maintain my figure, but Toni ate all kinds of junk. He was now thirty pounds heavier than when we first met. To be honest, I wasn’t really attracted to him anymore, and of course, he blamed his weight on the navy, saying he was depressed and all he did on the ship was eat. He wasn’t on deployment anymore, and I once watched him eat a whole gallon of ice cream in one sitting while watching the game. I was so grossed out. Sex was also not the same; he barely cared about my pleasure anymore. I would pretty much just lie on my back and he would just insert his manhood inside of me until he came and it was done. A whopping three minutes. He would roll over and just fall asleep. I was so ready for more I would just go in the bathroom and masturbate until I felt satisfied. I still couldn’t make myself cum, but a hot shower after masturbation felt so satisfying.
I made it to work and texted Toni to let him know I made it safely. However, I realized he never texted back or even called when I got off at six. This was strange, so I hoped he was okay. I decided to skip the gym and went straight home. I knew he said he was going out with the guys, so I called Natalie to see if Johnny was with Toni. This was a long shot because Johnny really didn’t mess with Toni anymore let alone hang out with him, but they were on the same ship, so he was cordial with him.
“Hey, girl.”
“Heeeyy, how are you holding up?”
“I’m good, I guess, thanks for asking,” I said, sounding confused by the question. “Hey, I just got home and haven’t heard from Toni all day. Do you think Johnny will know where he is?”
“Oh, you haven’t heard?”
“What, heard what?”
“I don’t think I should be the one to tell you.”
My heart started pounding as I thought of the worst. “Oh God, Nat, what’s going on? Is Toni okay?”
“Girl, I’m sorry, it’s not my business; you need to talk to your husband.”
“Talk to him about what? Please don’t do this, Nat. Is there something wrong? Is Toni hurt or in trouble?” I demanded.
“Girl, please just talk to Toni. I got to go.” She hung up the phone.
I was hot because I guess she knew what was going on and I didn’t. I immediately called Toni and got his voicemail again.
“Hey, call me ASAP. I don’t know what’s going on, but I haven’t heard from you all day,” I didn’t want to put Natalie on blast by saying she said I needed to talk to him.
Two hours went by and I left Toni, like, five more messages and ten texts with no reply. I was both nervous and upset. Finally, it was almost eight o’clock and Toni walked through the door as if nothing happened.
“What the hell? I’ve been calling and texting you all day.”
“Hey, babe,” Toni said, acting very nonchalant.
“What’s up? I said I’ve been calling and texting you all day.”
“Oh, my phone died,” he said, but I knew it was a lie.
“What is going on, Toni? Please talk to me.”
“Nothing, man.”
“I’ve been calling and texting you all day, so I’m guessing something is wrong, and your phone was fully charged when you left the house this morning, so what is really going on?”
“Who have you been talking to?”
“What are you talking about?” I said, trying not to get Natalie involved again in our business.
“Look, man, it’s not that big of a deal; I was running late for work this morning and left my phone in the car. I didn’t have time to go back and get it, so when I went to go and get it during lunch to call you, I realized the car was gone.”
“Wait, what?”
“I guess I parked too close to the red no-parking zone near the ship and they towed my car. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but my captain got involved because it was some BS and that’s it.”
“So, did you get in trouble?”
“Not really, I had to catch a ride with Felix after work to pick it up. It cost like fifty dollars and that was it. By the time I got back to the car, the phone was dead. Felix and I ended up grabbing a bite and now I’m home.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before? Why were you acting like nothing crazy happened today?”
“Man, I have other things to worry about at work, so I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
I was shocked by his final comment because he made everything a big deal. I didn’t a hundred percent believe the story, but I let it go. The next morning I went out for a run and noticed the semi-ripped-off neon orange sticker on his car passenger window, which meant his car was towed. I felt bad for second-guessing him. I guess I’d caught him in so many lies it was hard to know what was the truth and what was a lie sometimes.
The next seventy-two hours, Toni was amazing. It was just like old times in every way. He came home right after work and told me I didn’t need to cook, as he was taking me out to eat. He even had flowers delivered to my job one day. Our lovemaking was back to the way I loved it, all about me. I was getting nervous because Toni hadn’t been this sweet and romantic in almost a year. I told Toni I had some running around to do after work and then I managed to meet up with Natalie before heading home.
“Hey, stranger.”
“Hey, JR, how are you holding up?”
“I’m good. These last few days Toni has been amazing. I hope this keeps up.”
“I would be nice to you as well after all of the drama.”
I knew something was up and there was more to the story than just getting his car towed for parking in the wrong place on base.
“So what does Toni plan on doing now?”
“In what regard?” I asked with a confused look on my face.
“Girl, what did Toni tell you happened on Monday?”
I was hesitant to tell Natalie what Toni told me because I was guessing it was a lie and I was stupid enough to believe him.
“He told me he parked near the red zone and his car got towed on base, and Felix had to give him a ride to get his car.”
“That bastard. Girl, let’s sit down and talk.”
I knew this wasn’t a good sign. I trusted Nata
lie, so I was ready for anything.
“Girl, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Toni is lying.”
Johnny told Natalie everything and some things I told her about me and Toni, and it wasn’t a secret that she wasn’t a fan of his, so I knew this story would be as straight as it comes.
“So, Johnny said on Monday Toni was a no-show at work; then the captain got a call from the police. Girl, Toni got arrested for reckless driving.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yeah, he was driving down Tidewater and you know they doing all of that construction on the road. He was doing forty-five in a twenty-five-mile-per-hour zone. The cops pulled him over, and because Toni has such a big mouth—sorry, girl.”
“No, it’s cool, you can continue,” I said, sounding defeated.
“He mouthed off at the cops and refused to give the officer his registration and stuff, so the cops got suspicious and asked him to get out of the car. He continued to mouth off about knowing his rights and stuff, and then the cop called for backup and he got arrested.”
By this point I was just crying as Natalie pulled her chair closer to me to console me.
“I’m sorry, girl. I hate to have to be the one to tell you this. Toni had one phone call and he called that bitch Felix and asked her to bail him out.”
“Wait, Felix is a girl?”
“Yeah, that bitch is always on somebody’s man. Johnny says her and Toni got pretty close during this deployment.”
“Wait, what the hell does that mean?”
“I’m sorry, girl, this is all Johnny said. He hates to gossip and said he had his own shit to deal with on this deployment, so he really didn’t pay attention. Anyway, I heard that bitch paid his fifteen-hundred-dollar bail when she picked him up. It looks like Toni had a few unpaid parking tickets and some stuff back when he lived in Atlanta. I don’t know how the military didn’t catch this, as they don’t play with stuff like that. Needless to say, his car did get towed and he got in trouble from the captain and he has to go to court and stuff, and Johnny says he may lose a rank or get passed up for a promotion because of all of it.”
Lust and Lies (The Jamie Reynolds Chronicles #1) Page 20
