Collected (Selected Book 1)

by Robin Roseau

  "I hold that in reserve if you try to let anyone else touch me," I said. "Don't pull any more shit like you did the first day."

  "Agreed."

  I looked at Bronze. "If you mistreat me, one of us is dying. Am I clear?"

  "Yes." She said. "I wouldn't."

  "I might believe you. We'll see."

  And she nodded.

  "I will accept this fate and play by these rules," I said. "Agreed."

  "Good," Jasmine said. "Thank you. You will be shackled and blinded for movements around this facility or transportation outside this facility. I do not believe we have seen the last of your fight, but even if I did, this would be the rule."

  "I understand."

  "You may at times be escorted by the guards. You will cooperate fully with them, and I hope I can get by with only sending two in the future."

  "You can."

  "You may also be escorted by either Bronze or me. You will cooperate fully."

  "Agreed."

  "Bronze may escort you wherever she chooses. She has already discussed this with me. She will discuss it with you later." I nodded understanding.

  "You have full access to your visor, excepting I may choose limits during challenges and, of course, during your transportation. You are allowed access to all human news sources, but you will not send any outbound messages."

  "I want to be able to talk to either of you and to Moirai."

  Bronze glanced at Jasmine and spoke for a minute.

  "You may record messages for Moirai," Jasmine said. "But she may only respond via text."

  "Why that restriction?"

  "Because your challenger-mate is Bronze, and she doesn't want your loyalties divided."

  "I have no other friends. May I make friends of the other humans here?"

  "She and I talked about that. We agree it would be problematic."

  "Can I assume Bronze will allow no friendships later, then? Humans are social animals. I will not thrive under such conditions. I don't care how fascinating she is; it won't be enough. If either of you know anything about humans, you will know this."

  "This restriction is temporary," Jasmine said. "You will be allowed any friendships you wish to establish." She looked at Bronze for confirmation, and she nodded.

  "All right. So I can text or voice to Moirai or either of you, but Moirai may only text back, if she chooses. And Bronze will probably only text back, but that is her choice and not a restriction."

  "Yes."

  "What about the gym?"

  "As often as you like, within reason."

  "I'm tired of being in my pajamas all the time."

  "We will provide a greater selection, but you will sleep in your sleep attire."

  I nodded. "All right. May I have a blanket?"

  "No, and if you cheat, we will remove the ability for you to do so."

  "I won't cheat. Why can't I have a blanket?"

  "Because it would instill significant jealousy in the other candidates. Some of these other privileges will, also, but I will deal with that."

  "I don't want to cause you trouble."

  "I can easily handle this. What else?"

  "I need things to do when not with either of you. The visor is great, but I need occupation." I turned back to Bronze. "And I need occupation later, too. Meaningful occupation, not busy work. Do you understand? You need these challenges, but I cannot have an idle mind or a shortage of goals to aspire to."

  She nodded immediately.

  "That is a long term issue, and Bronze understands," Jasmine said. "It is premature to discuss today."

  "And for now?"

  "How would you feel about taking some classes?" Jasmine asked.

  I perked up. "What kind of classes?"

  "Whatever you want that we're willing to teach you before you agree to being permanently mated. Anything from the range of human classes at any University and a variety of topics outside those choices."

  "Am I going to be here that long?"

  "No, but you could start and continue later."

  "Science," I said. "I was good in science, but I think I need a lot more than I have."

  Jasmine smiled. "Done. It might take me a day or so to assemble my recommendations. In the meantime, you have a vast library of books you could read. Will this be acceptable?"

  "Yes. Thank you."

  "Do you wish anything else?"

  "Have you told my parents anything?"

  "You accepted an offer for a protracted job interview in an undisclosed location."

  "I bet my boss was mad about that."

  "Alien ways are quite alien," Jasmine said. "It was a one-time offer, and no one could possibly expect you to decline. You will not suffer financially if you return to home."

  "You'll find another job for me?"

  "We'll help, yes, if you require the help."

  "May I write letters to my family? You can read them. I won't put anything in them you won't like."

  Jasmine glanced at Bronze, who nodded.

  "Thank you."

  "They will be rare," Jasmine said. "I don't want a flurry of emails back and forth all day long."

  "One every few days? That's more than we email now. But I have friends, so maybe a few, but all at the same time?"

  "That's fine," she said. "Either Bronze or I will review them for forwarding."

  "Thank you."

  "Did you want anything else?"

  "I'm going to ask, but I think based on something you said earlier, you're going to say no. Do you think you could give all the women time together in the yard? We could play soccer or just talk."

  "Many have earned no privileges," Jasmine replied.

  "Then make it a privilege they can earn and make sure they know. And include athletic wear for us."

  She turned to Bronze. "Will you allow your mating candidate this privilege?"

  "Yes."

  "All right. It begins once there are ten or more of you who have earned this privilege. But Sapphire, you will not stir up trouble. Am I clear?"

  "Yes. I'll behave."

  "All right." She smiled. "We're agreed."

  "Thank you." I rattled my chains. Jasmine laughed and produced a key, but it was Bronze who released me. I accepted a lengthy hug once I was free.

  * * * *

  Once Bronze left, Jasmine taught me the game. The rules took only a minute or two of explanation. Strategy and tactics were far more complicated. We played a few sample games on a partial board, and then our hour was expired.

  Jasmine pushed the board to the side, cocked her head for a moment, then said, "Bronze is coming. We have a few minutes."

  "Do you give every one of us this much of your own attention?"

  "Not at all."

  "Then why me?"

  "Because you let me taste, and because you're the sort who would let me taste. Because I wanted you for myself. And because of my relationship with Bronze."

  "You said you weren't friends. Did you lie?"

  "No. I don't have friends, Sapphire. They call me the Ice Cat Queen for very good reasons."

  "Were you trying to hurt me with your lies in my last challenge?"

  "No. Have you thought about my questions?"

  "Yes, but I only have guesses. I don't know what to believe anymore."

  "I did not want this job. I still don't want it. It would be a great deal of relief to quit, although I worry about who would take it from me. Of those available to take it, I am perhaps singularly qualified, although that may be hubris on my part."

  "Will you explain all that?"

  "You understand I have competing priorities. My first priority is to the emotional needs of the various species protecting this region."

  "To the challengers."

  "To everyone desiring a human mate."

  "All right."

  "Do you accept these needs?"

  "There are men who believe they have the right to treat women the way you're treating women."

  "I know. Th
e difference between them and me is that they believe there's nothing wrong with what they are doing. I understand there is everything wrong about it."

  "And you still do it?"

  "The human mating candidates are my second priority, behind those who seek a mate. And I take that responsibility seriously. It is impossible for me to see to the needs of those seeking a mate while also seeing to the short term needs of the possible candidates. However, I consolidate my position by addressing the long term needs, even at the expense of the short term."

  "In other words, you're willing to piss me off for my own good."

  She smiled. "Yes. Someone else, almost anyone else, would treat this in a more businesslike fashion. They would see only the needs of the extraterrestrial species, and the needs and care of the women would be only as required to shove them into the arms of their future mates."

  "Isn't that what you're doing to me?"

  "Did you have fun during your challenge?"

  I sighed and didn't answer.

  "Did you laugh when she caught you?"

  "You suck."

  "Do you believe you can trust her?"

  "Shut up."

  She smiled. "Have I made my point yet?"

  "Are you going to lie to me in the future?"

  "I don't know. If I feel I should."

  "And you even warn me."

  "Would you believe me if I had said 'No'?"

  "No."

  She laughed. "Well then, I didn't tell you anything you didn't know."

  "Maybe we could be friends," I said. "You said you didn't have any. Maybe I am infinitely better than nothing."

  "Maybe you're infinitely better than a lot more than nothing," she replied. "I hope you feel that way eight months from now."

  "I'll still let you court me if I go home," I said. "But you have to promise to never lie to me again."

  "I can't promise that. I might have to lie to you. Secrets and all that."

  "Could we find a promise you could keep that might satisfy me?"

  "Yes, perhaps we could."

  "Motivated to help me win?"

  She smiled. "Your attempts to manipulate me are obvious."

  "The day you're willing to send me home, I'll let you taste me in any fashion you like, as long as I can still walk afterwards, and any marks you leave on me will heal."

  She laughed. "I believe you'd actually keep that promise."

  "I don't make promises I am unwilling to keep, although I guess I'm willing to withdraw certain promises when asked."

  "Like the promise to kill me?"

  "Yeah. Like that one."

  We continued to tease each other for a few minutes. And then Bronze entered the room. I stood and turned to her, and she crossed to me, coming to a stop and looking down at me. I let her hug me, and when she caressed my face, I allowed that as well.

  Jasmine then arranged us on opposite sides of the table, moved the game pieces into their initial positions, and told us to begin.

  Bronze proceeded to beat me quite soundly. I hadn't expected to perform well, and I didn't. I wasn't even frustrated, but I apologized at the end. "I've never been good at games like this. As soon as I knew we would play such a game, I knew you would win, unless you were even worse."

  She inclined her head.

  Jasmine stayed for our game, and so I turned to her. "I am sorry I am a poor student."

  "We all have different skills," she replied.

  "When will our third challenge be?"

  "It will be a few days."

  "Why so long? We could do it immediately."

  "Because there are 57 of you, and I must be fair."

  "Oh. Of course. Would it be asking too much to determine what our challenge shall be? I would like to know if it is to be as one-sided as you have indicated."

  She smiled. "Your challenger has a great many more points than you do."

  "And yet?"

  She looked at Bronze, who nodded. And so we began to negotiate the terms of the third competition. And in the end, I looked at the rules with a forlorn expression. "You give me no chance at all."

  "Of course not," Jasmine said. "We did warn you."

  "This challenge will not be our last."

  "I didn't think it would be."

  I allowed Jasmine to replace my shackles and then Bronze escorted me to my cell. Once I could see, and my shackles were again removed, I turned to her. "I'm not in a good mood. I'm sorry."

  "Because. Lose?"

  "This is very overwhelming for me. It has been a difficult, emotional day. I want comforting, but I don't want it from anyone who represents what is happening to me. I think I understand your needs, but this is still decidedly unfair to me, and it is difficult to accept."

  She nodded and turned to go.

  "That doesn't mean you shouldn't hug me!" She didn't need encouragement. And then I whispered, "And I hope you will text me later."

  She nodded, held me a moment longer, and then was gone.

  * * * *

  I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Then I asked my visor to hide the world but enter the messaging system. I recorded a voice message for Moirai, my first in some time.

  I can't believe you have helped to do this to us, but I guess I am starting to understand the need at the same time. This is so overwhelming, and I remained deeply frightened and upset.

  I don't know what is to become of me. I spent years going to school, and now it feels like everything I have done for my entire life was a waste. Twelve years of school, and then four at University, and then two more for an MBA. That's a Masters of Business Administration, and it is where I learned the skills for my job.

  I've held that job for two and a half years. I'm good at it, especially for someone so young, and I had a bright future in front of me.

  It's all gone, unless somehow I can go home.

  I'm starting to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. Do you know what that is? My only contacts now are with the people who are doing this to me, and it is from them I seek solace besides. You, Jasmine Brighteyes, the administrator here, and my challenger, a woman I call Bronze. She refuses to share her name with me or even tell me of her species.

  If you know Jasmine, I am sure she can tell you more, although maybe she won't. Or maybe all of this is broadcast to some alien reality television show the way I believe, and you are watching.

  Do they do little biography segments on each of the competitors? Maybe there are interviews with the challengers. I don't know.

  I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think.

  Did you see my first challenge with Bronze? In the initial challenge, whatever they call that, the first day in the arena, I gave her my ribbon. There were all those males. I wasn't going to let one of them touch me.

  I like the look of Bronze. She is amazing, although many of you appear amazing to me. I certainly liked how you look. And the Catseye are interesting.

  I haven't decided how I feel about Jasmine. She is a manipulative bitch, but then I wonder if she's doing it for the right reasons. I don't know. I don't know what she wants. She says she wants me to be happy, but I don't know if I believe her. If I go home and then Jasmine chooses to woo me, would she treat me well? Or would I grow to resent her manipulation. I don't know.

  Bronze says she'll cherish me, and as lovely as that sounds, I don't know if it's enough. Wait. I know it's not. It's not! She says she'll give me what I need, but I don't know if I can believe her. I don't know how I am expected to thrive. I don't think anyone cares if I thrive. They care if I spread my legs, and that's all they care about.

  And I don't know whom to trust. I don't think I can trust any of you.

  I hate not knowing anything! I hate being so unsure and so lost. I hate how much I want Bronze here right now, just to hold me. Or you. Or Jasmine.

  I want to wake up and learn this was all a long, convoluted dream.

  How can I trust any of you after this? My emotions are all over the place, and that's p
robably why I'm allowing the affection. But what happens when I grow cold? What happens between us in the dark of space when I'm so very far from home, so very far from blue skies and the people who love me?

  I agreed to five months. She'll have me where she wants me for five months. I'm already letting her touch me. I'm afraid I'll be weak. And maybe that wouldn't be so bad, but I'm afraid of what will become of us when I grow cold. Two years. Three years.

  I feel weak and vulnerable now, and that makes me emotional. But I think I have it in me to be the Ice Queen, too.

  Then what happens?

  It was some time later that her reply arrived. Dinner had come and gone, and after all the fussing I had done, I didn't have it in me to do anything but watch mindless television, letting the visor entertain me while I lay on the bed.

  Oh, Sapphire,

  I am sorry for your agony. We understand what we do, and we regret the needs that drive us to these choices.

  Your agony is temporary. I promise that. I can promise you more than that.

  I know the woman you call Bronze. I know her very well. I will not talk much of her, but I will tell you something. She will be deeply devoted to your happiness. She will not simply treat you well until she wins you, and then neglect you after that. She understands your needs, or at least the ones you have shared, and you can rest assured she will see to them.

  You should consider something. It was not long ago she looked quite different. She has done much so she will be a suitable mate. Can you imagine changing nearly everything about your body for someone? That is what she has done. Consider that.

  I will say, yes, we are able to watch you. It isn't exactly like your reality television shows, but there are similarities. We are driven to watch largely out of our own hopes for our own mates, a cure for our own loneliness coupled with the biological pressure to reproduce.

  Some of us watch more avidly than others. For some of us, including myself, watching the video feeds is bittersweet torture. We are watching something we don't feel we can have.

  As a xenobiologist, I study humanity. If I were human, I could do exactly what I do and it would be considered sociology. As I study another species, it makes me a xenobiologist instead. Of course, I also study your biology, although I do not practice the same sort of medicine as your doctors, and there are others amongst us that help to solve your diseases and adapt our technology for your bodies.