Collected (Selected Book 1)

by Robin Roseau

  * * * *

  I rubbed my wrists for a minute then turned back to Bronze. She was watching me carefully. "Will you stay for a while?"

  She nodded.

  "Then I am going to change clothes. You will need to take the dress with you."

  You didn't care for it?

  "It's amazing, but I have no place here to put it. You will need to hang it up. Turn around while I change."

  You realize I have seen you naked.

  "And you realize you just lost ten dating points for reminding me. Turn around."

  She looked crestfallen but gave me the illusion of privacy while I changed. I set the dress aside then told her, "You can earn those points back."

  She glanced at me then turned to face me.

  How?

  "However you want. We may spend the rest of the time tonight however you like."

  We cuddled and talked until late. It was a nice evening.

  Crushing

  I stood at the start of our third challenge, counting my fatal mistakes and castigating myself severely. In the meeting after our first challenge, I should not have allowed my sense of fair play to intercede. I had been so grateful to Bronze for granting me the win that I had granted her style points.

  Fatal mistake one.

  For our second challenge, I should have used the points earned winning the first challenge to ensure another victory in the second. Instead, I had husbanded my points, not knowing how to effectively use them, anyway.

  And I should have declared the third challenge as the final challenge.

  Bronze had completely outmaneuvered me. She and Jasmine had also manipulated me, and I had let them.

  Bronze used the points I threw away at her during the first challenge, and the many points she won during the second. She had used each and every one to ensure the third would be a truly crushing defeat for me. I knew she was doing it at the time, and I thought it was so that I would make the decision I had -- to allow for two more challenges. But staring from the start of the challenge now, I knew it had also served another purpose.

  Bronze used some of her points to ensure the challenge would be one that entirely suited her while being about as far as suitable for me. We would be running an obstacle course. She had forced a large course, using points to override my choice of small. She used more of her points to determine the nature of the obstacles and even more to handicap me severely.

  And it was that handicap that most completely distressed me. She not only would easily win this race, I wouldn't be able to finish.

  It was possible -- barely -- that I could complete the course without the handicaps applied. Several of the handicaps were only annoying, but I was to wear a thirty-kilogram backpack.

  I was American. Intellectually I know how much thirty kilograms is. But instinctively, I do not. If I had realized it was 66 pounds, I would have realized it was half my body weight, about as much weight that I could pick up without assistance. I was now wearing the weighted backpack, and it was crushing, throwing off my center of balance besides.

  If I didn't fall, I might -- I use that word carefully -- be able to navigate the first few obstacles. But there was no way I was climbing a rope up and over a 12-foot wall while wearing that kind of weight, and that was the fourth obstacle.

  And if I fell with that kind of weight, I wasn't sure I would even be able to get back up on my feet.

  So I would lose. That wasn't so bad, right? Except that Bronze would win so many points from this event that she could do the same thing for the next two events, handicapping me so deeply that I wouldn't stand even a remote chance of completing the events, much less beating her in the fifth. I had handed her two additional months, all because I had made poor choices from the very beginning.

  A portion of me had continued to believe Jasmine hadn't been lying when she told me she wanted me to win the first challenge. But I knew that had been more of her manipulation. She hadn't wanted me to win, and she had given me significant clues during our most recent conversation. Her priority was to the aliens looking for mates. I had believed she wanted me to win so she could possibly have a chance at me in the future.

  What a foolish mistake that was.

  And so I had let the two of them manipulate me, and I could not have been more filled with self-hate for doing so.

  "This will be our final challenge," I declared firmly.

  Both Jasmine and Bronze turned to me. Bronze and I had both been eyeing the course, with Jasmine waiting nearby to declare the start.

  "That makes no sense," Jasmine said. "You cannot possibly win."

  "I cannot possibly finish," I said. "I cannot possibly navigate the fourth obstacle, and I have little faith I will even reach it. I might suggest there is significant likelihood I would fall near the top of the wall, breaking a leg on landing. Except I don't think I'd even get that high."

  "You knew you would lose this event. We told you that from the beginning. You knew that four days ago, which is why you agreed to two additional events."

  "I agreed to two additional events because I let the two of you manipulate me!" I said hotly.

  Words from Bronze appeared in my visor.

  You cannot win this event. You promised you would compete as hard as you could, and so you must come back from defeat and win the fifth challenge.

  "Yes, yes," I said. "That's what you were both telling me, and I let you manipulate me into making my decision for me. I should have taken Moirai's advice!"

  Bronze narrowed her eyes.

  What advice?

  "She told me to trust my instincts. And my instincts screamed at me to end this after three challenges."

  "You cannot win, Sapphire," Jasmine said. "Can you not accept that gracefully and try again?"

  "Pretty words, Administrator," I said. "It is a strategic mistake for me to allow two more challenges. This is our last challenge. I will lose, and then Bronze will take me away for three months. I now understand how you both like to manipulate me, and how you both use the vulnerability you induced in me to worm inside my defenses, but I am on guard now. I will be my own Ice Queen, and I will not be accepting Bronze's advances. In three months, I will tell her to return me home, and unless you have been lying about that, I will go home."

  Bronze looked distressed, but before she could respond, Jasmine said, "This is a poor strategy. You should play to win the fifth challenge if you do not wish to leave your home."

  "Oh, no," I said. I advanced -- slowly -- on her. "There are two solid concepts involved, deeply related. They apply beautifully to this situation."

  "Oh?"

  "Yes. Do either of you know the term 'sunk cost'?"

  The both shook their heads.

  "I believe, Administrator," I said, "that you understand the concept, and perhaps you as well, Bronze. In business, a sunk cost is something you have already paid or committed to pay that cannot be returned. When making decisions that affect the future, it is imperative that sunk costs are not used as justification for spending additional funds."

  "I know this concept," Jasmine said. But Bronze was shaking her head.

  "Let us use a project as an example, a project to develop a new product, or a project to expand into a new market. Do you understand so far, Bronze?" She nodded. "Let us say that you are one year into the project and have spent a significant amount of money. That money is now a sunk cost. No matter what you do, it is spent, and you cannot get it back." She nodded again. "Let us say the project is not going as well as anticipated at the beginning. There can be countless reasons for this." Again, she nodded.

  "There needs to be a decision. At this point, humans tend to become emotionally invested. They spent all this money, and it is difficult to realize it was a mistake. The project should be cancelled not because it won't earn back the money already spent, but because it won't earn back what you must still spend to complete it."

  "Ah," Bronze said. "Yes."

  "How does this apply?"

 
"Let me restate the concept. We have a saying. Throwing good money after bad. You spent the sunk cost poorly -- bad money. But the money you still have that isn't spent -- that's the good money. And you shouldn't necessarily spend the good money just because you spent the bad money."

  "That is a good saying," Jasmine said. "I still fail to see how these concepts apply."

  "I am committed to three challenges by the rules stated. I have protested those rules, of course, but I am your prisoner, and these are the rules you have stated I am to follow. And so they represent a sunk cost."

  "The challenges are not a cost."

  "Each challenge represents a month of time. That is a true cost to me. It is not money, but as I do not wish to leave Earth, I do not wish to be forced into mating in this fashion, it is a cost. Those first three months are a sunk cost. If I agree to two more challenges, I am throwing good money after bad. You ask me to risk committing to two additional months on the chance I can win the fifth challenge."

  "If you end today, you will spend those three months. If you compete twice more, you could win and go home immediately. Isn't that what you want?"

  "Yes, if I thought I could win."

  "You won the first challenge. Spend the points you have earned, and the few points you'll earn now, to help ensure you win the final challenge."

  I laughed. "How can I possibly hope to win? Bronze will accrue, what? Two hundred points today? I cannot possibly counter that. She can hoard the points from today and spend them on the fifth challenge exactly like she did today, ensuring the competition is geared towards her strengths, and then she will handicap me even more deeply than she has today, and she will walk away with an even easier win than she has today."

  I shook my head. "Furthermore, she capitalized on my good nature from the first challenge to set me up for today. She has shown a willingness to let my sense of fair play be my downfall, and I believe that sets the tone for any future relationship. You have both manipulated me, and so at least I am warned of her nature."

  And at that, I sat down, right where I was. "This is our final challenge. Go win it and then you can retrieve the shackles and cart your new slave a billion kilometers from her home. But in three months, I will go home."

  The two of them stared at me. Then Bronze sent words to me.

  You enjoy my company. You enjoy my touch.

  I ignored her.

  "Sapphire Fletcher," Jasmine said, "You agreed to compete to the best of your ability. This is not doing so. Furthermore, you agreed two five challenges, and I will not allow you to reverse that decision."

  "I believe I know my own body and physical abilities better than either of you do," I replied. "I believe if I attempt to proceed through this course, I will hurt myself. If there were to be additional challenges, I would not wish to engage in them while suffering a broken leg or arm, and I consider those chances significant. They would only serve as additional handicaps. And if this is our final challenge, and the results are entirely obvious, then it is risking injury for no chance of gain. I do not wish to do so."

  The two of them spoke at length. I didn't understand a word. I simply sat, already exhausted and growing more so under the afternoon sun, and waited for it to be over. Finally Bronze moved to squat down in front of me. She tried to lift my chin with a finger, but I pulled away. But when she did it again, I looked up at her.

  I do not understand. You must compete.

  "I'll get hurt. The one thing I believed in all this was that you cared for my well being. Was that a lie, too?"

  "No!" she said.

  You will not get hurt. It is not a difficult course.

  I laughed. "Are you forgetting the stream? It is literally impossible for me to complete this course. With this much additional weight, I don't think I could walk to the end of the course, bypassing each obstacle, without falling. And I don't think I can get back up without help."

  You are being silly. It is only 30 kilograms. That is nothing.

  "Nothing? Nothing?" I screeched. "Good god, it's half my body weight and more than I can lift! Do you have no idea how physically pathetic I am compared to you?"

  Understanding dawned in her alien expression.

  "Sapphire."

  I am sorry. For me, this weight is nothing. I did not think. I am sorry.

  "You used your points to ensure an event that, if everything else were even, you would easily win. You then ensured it wasn't remotely even. My obstacles are harder than yours. The walls are higher. Others are further. These were unnecessary handicaps. But this weight turns this from impossible to win, and unlikely to even finish, to dangerous to even try. I don't want to get hurt for no reason. A sunk cost, and I will not spend the health of my body in a futile gesture. I will conserve my strength and avoid the agony of healing."

  She didn't climb to her feet. Instead she continued to look into my face, but she spoke to Jasmine in their language. Jasmine joined us, actually sitting down in the grass and folding her legs.

  "Bronze would like to know -- as would I -- what it would take for this event to be safe for you?"

  I looked over at her. "You've been doing this for a while. Don't you understand human limits by now?"

  "Humans run obstacle courses all the time. That's actually where we got the idea."

  "Athletic humans. Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I'm not particularly athletic. I am about as opposite from Bronze as I could be."

  You have a good body.

  "Do you really want to compare?" I asked her.

  I like your body. I like looking at it. I like touching it. It is soft and smooth and feels good.

  I stared at her for several heartbeats, her words removing some of my anger.

  "Thank you," I said gently. "But it is not an athletic body."

  Bronze spoke rapidly, and Jasmine translated. "Bronze wants the additional challenges, and she wants you to do your best to compete. She has asked me to negotiate."

  "There's nothing to negotiate. I am sitting here, and this is our last challenge."

  "I have not decided if I will allow you to change your decision."

  I shrugged.

  "And so, you will negotiate with me in good faith. This is a concept you understand."

  "Yes, it is a concept I understand. I'm not at all convinced you do."

  "You made promises. You promised to do your best."

  "I did not promise to risk my neck with no hope."

  "Agreed. You did not, and as it stands, neither Bronze nor I would allow you onto the course."

  "So we are all agreed."

  "We are agreed miscalculation and misunderstandings happened, but they were not in bad faith. We are three alien species learning to live in harmony, and mistakes will happen. But while your species is frequently quite immature, and you are personally at times emotional, you are quite capable of making very mature decisions. So are we. And so as mature individuals, we know when mistakes happen, we admit them and try to resolve them."

  I sighed. "Agreed. And I think there was a compliment in there for me, so thank you."

  "Sapphire, we both find you to be remarkable. Surely you know that."

  "I don't, but thank you for saying it. I don't think I'm remarkable, and I don't understand how either of you do. I really don't understand any of this."

  "Perhaps a conversation for another day."

  "Perhaps."

  "If a resounding loss today didn't, in your estimation, result in a resounding loss during additional competition, would you still accept the next two challenges, and possibly even two more?"

  I thought about it. "If I thought I had a reasonable chance of winning, then yes. It would be a good risk. But we know I do not."

  "We agree with your estimation. You understand that Bronze desperately wants to win."

  "You told me you wanted me to win, but I believe you were manipulating me. I believe it was because you wanted your own chance at me. Now I know you want me to lose almost as much as she does." But I loo
ked over at Bronze. "I don't know why you want me."

  "A conversation for another day as well," Jasmine said. "The nature of these challenges is that winning one should provide advantage in the next, and so on."

  "I understand that, which is why it is quite foolish for me to proceed when there is a significant cost with no chance of recovery."

  "You have forty-one points. Bronze has spent all of hers. You are ahead."

  I laughed. "Not in another hour. I will be behind by two hundred to forty-one."

  "Not quite that many, but your point is fair. The goal of such a disparate event today was not to accrue so many points against you for future events. It was to convince you to accept additional challenges."

  "So she can have me longer."

  "Yes. Her race does not understand courting. She understands caring for a mate, and her mating rituals are not quite what we do here. It is a hybrid."

  "I understand."

  "If she couldn't earn as many points as previously determined, then she is coming from behind during this event, yes?"

  "Because she spent all those points ensuring I couldn't even finish."

  I didn't realize that, Sapphire. I am sorry.

  "We are learning."

  "You should have known, Administrator, even if she didn't."

  "You're right. I should have. We have run this event before, and the human women have struggled, but they have finished. They lose, but they finish. But as I think about it, they have been larger than you, and with less weight on their backs."

  "Fine. A mistake recognized."

  "If you were carrying no extra weight, which of the obstacles are still dangerous for you?"

  "The tall ones. There are only a few. I have never climbed a wall, and I do not know if I can make it over. The chance of falling is significant, with the greatest risk as I try to climb over. I also could not make it over the shorter walls, the ones where I must jump to grip the edge. I do not believe I can jump that high, and I do not believe I can pull myself over if I do. But the risk of a fall is smaller, although I could easily fall and break my neck. People fall from horses and break their necks with some frequency, and that is not so far, but perhaps the horse is traveling rapidly at the time."