Without You

by Julie Prestsater

  Our bodies moved closer together with each beat. “No way, that would be hot. I’d have to go commando underneath.”

  “Woman, you’re killing me.” I grabbed her waist and pulled her as close to me as she could get.

  She let out a brief chuckle. “No, I’m pretty sure there is blood pumping somewhere.” Then, she ground her body against mine, pushing herself against my fast-growing erection. “Yeah, you’re definitely not dead.”

  Bending down so my lips brushed against her ear, I whispered, “When I’m finished I want you to remember you started it.”

  Maddy lifted her head to the side so she could see me, but before she could utter another word, my mouth closed in on hers. Our lips joined, soft and gentle. My hands rose until they were trailing up her neck and getting lost in her hair. Her hands fell to my hips, holding on to me, but I wasn’t going anywhere. Fuck, the heat of her touch branded my skin through my clothes. The tenderness of her kiss was just how I imagined it would be. Her lips were soft and plump, moist and sexy and they were all mine for the taking. Tracing them with my tongue, I teased the seam of her lips before tugging gently on her bottom lip with my teeth. She opened for me, welcoming me in to deepen the kiss. It was as if the dark skies opened up allowing light to shine right through as our mouths melded together, and our tongues slid back and forth against each other. I wanted more. So much more. And so did she. Her grip on my side was proof of it, urging me closer and giving me hope with the tightening of her grasp.

  But the song ended and the sound of throats being cleared stopped us from continuing. After one last peck, I pressed my forehead to hers and told her. “You’re beautiful, Sunshine. This is just the beginning.”

  Chapter 7

  MADISON

  Right there in front of everyone. Luke. Genna. Her sisters, and their husbands. And the dance teacher who told us to make love on the dance floor. I did it. I kissed Evan James.

  It was like kissing him for the first time all over again, but with such comfort and experience that only made it ten times better than I could have ever hoped for. Oh, how I had longed for that to happen. I had dreamed about it. Fantasized that the day would come, and now that it had, I didn’t want it to be over. I wanted to experience all that Evan had to give. Even if it wasn’t permanent. Even if it didn’t last.

  Call me stupid. Call me naive, a downright dirty whore if you must, but I wanted Evan James. And I was going to have him.

  After the lessons were over, Evan and I had an audience that wasn’t taking the hint and giving us any alone time. With a quick kiss to my cheek, Evan put me in my car and off I went. With a promise to call him as soon as I walked in my door.

  I wasn’t but a block away when my phone started ringing in my car. With a press of a button on my steering wheel, the sound stopped. “Hello.”

  “Holy hotness,” Genna shouted. “And you guys didn’t want to go to dance lessons. You could have fooled me.”

  A blush crept over my face and I didn’t know what to say.

  “Are you okay? Are you beaming or are you kicking yourself?” Her voice echoed throughout my car with excitement. She knew me too well.

  “I’m definitely not kicking myself.” Oh no, that kiss would have me up all night, replaying it over and over again. The recap alone might have been enough to satisfy my needs until I had Evan to myself again.

  “Good. I’m happy for you. This is awesome. When are you going to see him again?” she asked. I pictured her on the edge of her seat waiting impatiently for an answer.

  “I don’t know. I’m going to call him when I get home, but I don’t have any plans to see him until the rehearsal dinner. You don’t have anything else on your checklist.”

  “I might have to fix that. I gotta go. Chat soon. Love you.”

  Confused, I turned up the volume wondering if I missed something. But she was gone. The screen showed that she ended the call. Well, bye to you, too.

  * * * * *

  After shimmying out of my dress, I thought back to the look on Evan’s face when he first saw me in it. Just what I had expected and hoped for. He loved it and couldn’t take his eyes off me. Or his hands. I would have been lying if I said I didn’t want him to touch me. Knowing that our bodies would be lined up and moving alongside each other, I wanted to take advantage of every moment. Looking down at my dress, puddled on the floor at my feet, I’d say I accomplished just that. Wearing those damn fuck-me heels was worth every hint of pain throbbing in the balls of my feet.

  When I was relaxed in the comfort of my bed, I reached for my cell phone and the remote for the TV. I flipped on the tube first, surfed through the guide for a cheesy romance until I found one I had seen about forty times before. Then, I made the call.

  “You just made it? Is everything okay?” The concern in Evan’s voice was endearing.

  “I’m fine. I just got ready for bed before I called you.” I nested deeper into my pillows and blankets, with just my head peeking out to see the TV.

  “Footie pajamas?” His joked letting me know my dress was still on his mind.

  “Definitely not.”

  There was a pause before he spoke up again. “Any regrets?” The reluctance in his tone broke my heart. He couldn’t possibly believe I had any.

  “Absolutely not.” My definitive answer should have provided some comfort.

  He blew out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.” We shared a second or two of laughs. “Just so you know, I plan on kissing you a lot. And often.”

  “Well, just so you know...I look forward to it.” A smile was cemented on my face I was so giddy.

  “When will I see you again?” His voice had lowered. It was sexy as hell and should be illegal.

  As much as I would have liked to invite him over that instant, I knew better. With the way he was making me feel, I knew he would only have to look at me to get my panties to drop. “Not until the rehearsal dinner, I think. We have the bachelorette and bachelor parties on Friday. I have a feeling I’ll be out of commission for the rest of the weekend so I can recover. Sometimes, I think we forget we’re not in college anymore until we wake up with a hangover that lasts for days.” Just the thought had my stomach churning. Genna and I got sloshed for my last birthday. It was so bad that the next day, I actually puked in my purse on my way home from her house. I wasn’t in any hurry to do that again. I shuddered before I continued speaking. “And I’m sure Genna will have me running around for the last few days before the wedding. So yeah, the rehearsal dinner.”

  “Eight days, Sunshine? I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” If I could have convinced him of that, maybe I could have convinced myself.

  EVAN

  Eight days, my ass. With the help of good ol’ Genna, I was able to dwindle that number down to two. Only one now to be exact. Surprisingly, the soon to be newlyweds decided they wanted a co-ed bachelorette/bachelor party. Normally, I would have said this was a ridiculous idea, but who was I to get in the way of their wedding plans? The fact that I was going to see Maddy sooner rather than later, was a bonus.

  Cruising down Colorado Boulevard, I turned up my radio and let the wind blow in through the windows. Beautiful sunny days reminded me of Maddy. So refreshing and full of life. The street was a lot busier than I remembered it, but it was still a far cry from the madness of Hollywood or Downtown L.A. If my plan was going to work, I needed it to be different. I still wanted the draw of a town full of nightlife without the craze of the big city. I wanted people of all walks of life to feel welcome, not like they had to know a secret handshake or the hidden entrance to be invited. The farther I got down the main drag, the more I felt like I was headed in the right direction. Swanky, alive, and not too posh to deter the kind of crowd I was looking for.

  My GPS guided me to take a right on a minor side street and let me know when my destination was on the left. Thankfully, there was a parking garage on the corner so I didn’t have to walk far. T
hat would be good for visitors as well. I took in the surroundings. Trees lined the brick-paved sidewalks. I loved it. I felt like I was at home.

  “E.” Sam shouted, always calling me by my initials when we were in public so not to attract attention. “Over here.”

  Just a few steps ahead of me, he stood with his right hand laid out, putting the storefront on display. “This is it.”

  In the last week, he had sent me more pictures of properties than I ever wanted. Each time, I gave him a no go. None of the previous attempts had been successful. Some places were too deep into Los Angeles; some were too far away. Some were too big, others too small. Some were way too fancy for my taste, while others scared the shit out of me. But from the moment I saw this brick-faced building with two massive windows in the front, I could see myself making a life here. The windows provided a view from the street, welcoming onlookers rather than turning people away.

  “That look on your face tells me you like what you see,” Sam said, an expression of satisfaction in his eyes.

  “So far so good,” I said. “Let’s get a look at the inside.”

  Immediately, my plans started unfolding as we crossed the threshold. A bar already sat in the far back corner on the right and extended to the other end of the wall. I imagined several barstools lining the counter, people sitting on them with one elbow on the bar and their bodies turned toward the stage. A stage that sat against the opposite wall so that performers could be seen from all directions, including from outside. We would need a raised platform, enough room for a small band, and definitely a piano. Cocktail tables, some low, and some high would need to be scattered around the remaining space. Servers wearing vintage t-shirts with band logos, jeans, and old school Chuck Taylors, I imagined flowing between the tables helping guests with a smile. Maybe they were musicians too. Who knew?

  “What are you thinking?” Sam asked. “Too big, too small.”

  “You mentioned that the place next door is available too, right?” I asked.

  “Yeah, the same person owns both spaces and said he put up the walls to separate the two.” Sam knocked on a wall. “This can easily be made one again.”

  “No, let’s leave it. Maybe just a doorway that leads from one space to the other.” I smiled.

  “There’s more to this plan that you’re not telling me.” He stared me down as if he had the power to get something out of me.

  “Maybe.”

  * * * * *

  When I arrived home in the evening, I was beat. Sitting down with Sam and going over contracts and plans had my head still spinning. Owning your own business was a lot harder than I could have imagined, no matter how much money I had. I wanted to be more than just the benefactor of this project. I wanted to be involved in all ways possible. If it was going to be my future, it had to be. Finally, my college degree would come in handy.

  All good things came with patience though, but the more I thought about it the more impatient I became. I was dying to tell Maddy all about it, every detail from start to finish, like we used to share everything, but I wanted to wait until I signed on the dotted line. Plus, I didn’t want to announce any big news before the wedding. I didn’t want to take anyone’s eyes off Genna and her day.

  Until I could make the announcement, I had plenty to keep me busy. Like a party that I was hosting the following night. Now, this was something I was willing to get help with. It was no longer just a bachelor party. It was also for the ladies. Maddy offered, but I told her I’d take care of it. She had plenty going on helping the bride and working, I could handle a party. Especially with Isabelle at my side, well, over the phone.

  “I need food and drinks for fifty people.” That sounded about right. “Nothing like the fancy dinner party stuff. I’d like real food like chip and dip, hot wings, and mini cheeseburgers. I don’t care if it looks pretty, I just want it to taste good.”

  Isabelle laughed into the phone. “You mean your guests don’t want to be wowed with gourmet food? They don’t want to go home hungry?”

  “You get me.” She always did. She was the most down-to-earth person I worked with besides Sam, which was why the three of us had stuck together so long. The fame, the nightlife, the never-ending parties and gossip had never suited any of us. I couldn’t believe I lasted as long as I did. “Keep it casual too. Beer, wine, tequila. If I see a cosmo, I might have to fire you.” Even I couldn’t keep from laughing at that one. The thought of letting her go was one hell of a joke.

  “I’d fire you if you asked me to make a skinny margarita, so we’re on the same page.” I could hear the tapping of her keyboard, so I remained quiet. “All set, Evan. A team should be there around three to set everything up for a start time of five. Even though it’s coed, I’m throwing in a titty cake and pecker cupcakes. It’s still a bachelorette and bachelor party after all.”

  “Nice touch, Isabelle. Thank you.”

  “I can even add some penis straws if you want.” She snickered.

  “No, thank you. I’m sure Genna will be fine with the cupcakes. Just make sure they have some balls too. I want to be able to tell her to eat my nuts.” She’d love it. I could already picture the look on her face, right before she slapped me.

  “You got it. Cocks and balls for Evan James.” She chuckled. “Let me just write that down.”

  “Um, let’s not write it exactly like that, okay.”

  “Bye, Evan. Have a wonderful party.”

  Shaking my head, I told her, “Bye, Isabelle. Thank you.”

  Chapter 8

  MADISON

  “Wow, look at you. A dining room table, Evan?” I traced my fingers along the edge of his new piece of furniture. “You’re growing up before our eyes.” Fanning my hand in front of my face, I faked like I was about to cry.

  “Yup, I even got rid of some of my toys.” He gestured to where his video game paraphernalia was now stashed away in a very organized entertainment center. He looked good enough to eat, smooth and decadent like chocolate mousse pie. He wore a fedora on his gorgeous head, a pair of dark fitted jeans, a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just beneath his elbows, and a tie loosely hung around his neck. I’d seen other men try to pull off this look and it didn’t work. On Evan, it was sexy as hell. He yanked me from my lustful thoughts when he said, “Now quit mocking me and come here.”

  Taking my hand, he pulled me toward him. I closed my eyes as he pressed his lips to my forehead, a gesture so sweet I could have melted in his hands. But just as quickly as his lips touched me, they were gone.

  Backing away so I could see him, I looked up into his big brown eyes peering down at me. “What is it, Evan?”

  “Sunshine, I want to kiss you again. Like really kiss you...but I can’t. Not while you’re with Michael. It’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to us.”

  Before he continued, I interrupted him. “Uh, I kind of forgot to tell you something.” He raised a brow at me in question. “Michael and I broke up over a week ago.”

  “Really?” His face lit up.

  I smiled. “Really.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

  “I thought if I had a boyfriend, it would help us slow things down.” It was the truth.

  He cupped my face in his hands. “And now, Maddy? Do you want to slow things down?”

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. When my heels hit the floor, I replied, “Not at all.”

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall. “There are too many people in here,” he said, speaking of the catering crew who was still setting up. When we turned the corner of the hallway, Evan backed me up against the wall. We gazed into each other’s eyes, breathing heavier than before. I peeled his fedora off his head and threaded my fingers through his wavy hair. He gave me that sexy grin, making my insides tremble with desire. Slowly, he lowered his head until his lips touched mine. I could feel his smile against my mouth, which made my heart beat even faster. There was no denying the passion and
the love in his kiss. Softly, he sprinkled my mouth with his moist kisses, tugging and nibbling on my lips before teasing me with the slightest touch of his tongue.

  My right hand held his hat against his back, while I traced his body with my free one. All the way up his chest until it curved around his neck and I drew him in closer. “Kiss me, Evan.” No further encouragement was needed as Evan slid his tongue into my mouth, playing with my own passionately and eagerly. He curved one hand around my ass and held me even closer, while his other hand tangled into my hair, gently pulling, making me dizzy with arousal.

  “Mr. James, we’re leaving. We’ll lock the door behind us,” a voice called out.

  Shoot, our friends will be here soon enough. Evan broke our kiss. He took a breath and then placed a few more pecks on my mouth. Along my jaw. And down my throat.

  “Fuck, Maddy. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to kiss you again.” His words rung true because I had been thinking the same thing.

  Pushing his face toward me so I could gaze into his eyes again, I caressed his cheek. “It’s real.” Our love is real I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t. It was still so new. I wanted to tell him I loved him—that I always had—but the words sat still at the tip of my tongue. I didn’t know what I was waiting for or what I was afraid of. I just couldn’t bring myself to say them aloud.

  “Yes, it is.” He lifted me off my feet and swirled me around, hugging me tightly. I kissed him again, just a quick smack on the lips, before I placed his hat back on his head. He carried me back down the hall with my legs wrapped around his waist. “Now that I’ve held you, kissed you, had you in my arms again, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep from touching you every single second for the rest of the night.”

  “I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

  He patted my ass. “To touch you? You can count on it.”

  EVAN

  As soon as the party started, I wanted it to be over. Not because I didn’t want my friends to enjoy their evening, but because I couldn’t wait to be alone with Maddy again. She was single, no longer with Michael, and I only had a few minutes to kiss her before people started arriving. While those kisses felt damn good, the few minutes weren’t nearly enough to quench my thirst for my sunshine.