Sapphire Universe (The Universe Series)

by Herrera, Devon

  “You look great Nina. Lola left a few minutes ago but she said to tell you to “come back with your shield or on it.” She said you would get it. It’s some sort of movie quote right?”

  “Something like that.” I reply. Leave it to Lo to make a joke when I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. “Let me grab my coat and my phone.” I shrug on my coat, pocket my phone and house keys and head for the door.

  Once we’re seated in the theatre dead center, because I insisted on it, my stomach starts swimming from being so close to Connor. I can smell the spicy scent of his cologne and it takes all my willpower not to lean into him to get a better whiff. I take a drink of my Mountain Dew to cool my treacherous body down. It doesn’t work. I am sitting as far away from him as the seats will allow me, but of course, Connor is having none of that. He leans in so that our arms and legs in between us are pressed together and whispers right in my ear.

  “What is this movie about anyway? You read the book right?” He pulls back a little to give me room to answer, but I can still feel his breath on my skin.

  “It’s a romance, about this girl and this guy who are in college.” I whisper back while glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.

  “That’s it?” Connor gives me this disbelieving look. “What’s so great about that?”

  “Just watch it. It’s hard to explain. It’s a really good book.” To be honest, I’m little nervous how the movie adaptation turned out. I really love the book.

  “Okay. Can I have some of your soda? I didn’t think I was thirsty, but this popcorn has a ton of salt on it.” Connor whispers in my ear again.

  “Sure.” I say and hand him my cup.

  I try to force myself to look away but his eyes hold mine while his lips close around the straw and he takes a drink. I just can’t make my body move. It’s like he’s trapped me somehow. Jeez intense much! He hands the cup back and murmurs a thank you. By the way his eyes are smoldering when his hands brush mine I know he is thinking along the same lines. I finally break away as the beginning credits start. I take a sip of my drink and try not to think about the fact that just a few seconds ago his lips were where mine now are.

  The movie is better than I could have hoped and I almost forget Connor is there taking up so much of my personal space, but not quite. He keeps glancing at me and I’m sure it’s to gauge my reactions. During one particularly romantic moment where the boy is standing outside the girls’ dorm professing his love after taking her for a late night motorcycle ride, I get a little teary eyed. I may not be romantically involved and don’t plan to be, but I am of the female variety. So when I catch Connor looking at me like he just solved another piece of the puzzle, I’m a little perturbed.

  At the end of the movie I stand up and turn to lead the way out of our aisle when strong hands grab my hips from behind. Connor tilts his body a little so he can look down at my face.

  “Thanks for that Nina. It wasn’t bad for a chick flick. I learned a lot.”

  Then he leans down and kisses me on the top of my head and releases me. I shake off whatever the hell has my chest tightening and my stomach flipping and walk towards the exit. When we get to Connor’s truck, I give him directions to the Chinese place downtown. I am suddenly starving and remember that other than the doughnut, I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. That’s probably why I’m feeling so dizzy.

  At the restaurant, I order some sesame chicken, lo mien and another Mountain Dew and take a seat in a booth. Connor gets some kung pao chicken, sweet and sour soup with fried rice and a Pepsi. I notice how the woman at the register smiles a little wider and tugs at her shirt to show some more cleavage when Connor orders. For some reason this annoys me so I can’t help the frown I’m wearing when he slides in across from me.

  “Do you need a pen?” I ask him.

  He looks a little confused at first but says “No, why.” I look back at the woman and she is still staring at Connor and has caked her lips with gloss.

  “Oh I just figured she asked you to autograph her tits or something.”

  Connor’s eyes widen for a second and then he bursts out laughing. I can’t help but giggle a little too. In that moment with both of us just laughing, sitting casually together without any drama, I can see it. I can see something more happening between us. How easy it would be. That thought scares the shit out of me. Connor notices my change of mood and stops laughing. He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his.

  “Hey, she didn’t say anything to me. Even if she did I’m not interested.” He says looking me right in the eye and it feels as though he is trying to push the words into me.

  Even though that wasn’t why I was upset, I can’t help but see the irony of that statement. Men aren’t wired to be monogamous. It’s part of why I don’t date, but that’s not the point at the moment so I pull my hand back and set it in my lap.

  “No worries,” I say brightly “I don’t care about that, I was just joking around. Besides, it’s not like we’re together or anything.” I smile at him and he frowns back. He leans forward and opens his mouth to say something, but the glossed up groupie chooses then to show up with our pizza.

  “Is there anything else I can get you?” she asks, not looking at me.

  “No thanks,” Connor says his eyes still locked with mine. “We’re good here.” The woman looks over at me and back at Connor for a second, then whips her hair around and walks off with an exaggerated sway to her hips. I smirk at her attempt to gain the attention, but it slides right back into a frown when I see that not only hasn’t Connor even glanced at the waitress, he is looking at me wistfully. My mother would have called it mooning. “You can’t keep this up forever Nina. I like spending time with you and just now, we were having a good time.” Connor says and I’m forced to look directly into his eyes. I just can’t not look at him, no matter how hard I try. “I know you like me too.” He adds in a low voice. This is it. I sigh and smile, just a normal smile this time.

  “I do like you Connor and we are having fun. We can hang out whenever you want. I would like to be friends with you because, I honestly think you’re a good guy, but that’s all it can ever be. I don’t date. At all, I just can’t. This isn’t something I will give on. It’s just how it is. And let’s face it, we‘ve only known each other a day.”

  Connor’s eyes soften and turn liquid for a moment while he processes my speech. Finally, he nods slowly. “I get that there’s something you’re not telling me, but I’m a patient guy. We’ll do this your way Nina, for now. Your pageant girl smile and fuck off attitude may have worked with other guys, but I see right through it. If all I can have right now is your friendship, then I’ll take it, but stop pushing me away and let me be your friend. We may have just met yesterday, but it was one hell of a day. Sometimes you just know someone better, faster and easier than others.”

  My throat closes up, robing me of my words, not that I have any. No one had ever laid it all out like that. Guys have made passes at me and had even gone so far as to say they wanted to just be friends, but not like that. Connor just watches me as I gather my thoughts, proving that he is indeed patient. Eventually, I just nod at him. Mimicking his gesture from earlier, but I don’t say anything else. My mind is whirling and I’m afraid to open my mouth. God forbid any of my thoughts come spilling out of my mouth right now. I know I am taking a huge risk agreeing to be his friend when he had plainly stated that he is interested in more. If it had happened any other way I would have ran for the hills, but I don’t believe in coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and it seems that for now, my life has crossed with Connor’s. At his questioning eyebrow raise, I giggle. He can be so intense sometimes.

  “Eat your food Connor, it’s getting cold.”

  He shakes his head and does as I say. Friends with Connor Wright. I can do this. No problem. After I finish my sesame chicken and noodles I crack open my fortune cookie feeling pretty optimistic for the first time in two days. When I pull the piece of p
aper from the cookie and read the words, my hands shake. It’s a message from the Universe. “The best relationships begin as friendships.”

  What the hell! I reach over and grab the pillow next to me and slam it down over my head to drown out the annoying sound. A few seconds later, the muffled ringing stops and I roll over and tighten the covers around me, trying to get comfortable again. Just as I start to fall into blissful sleep, the bane of my existence chimes again. “GRRRR!” I throw my pillow against my wall and kick my covers off. “Stupid phone! Who the hell calls people this early?” I grab the cell from my nightstand and blink a few times to clear the fog from my vision. Connor W. Calling, the screen says.

  “Damn.” I mutter, trying to muster up the anger I was feeling a few seconds ago, but nothing comes. I take a deep breath and put as much annoyance into my voice as I can when I answer. “Hello.”

  “Well, good morning sunshine.” Connor says sarcastically and I really hate that just the sound of his voice instantly wakes my usually anti-morning body.

  “What’s up Connor. I was sleeping.”

  “Nina, it’s nine o’clock. Get up, go make some cider then get dressed.”

  Bossy pants. “Well the cider is a given, but why the hell would I get dressed. It’s Sunday.”

  “Because we are going ice skating today.” He says, sounding proud of his plan and way too excited. Yea right. I just sit on the line speechless, waiting for him to realize what a hair brained idea this is. “Nina?”

  “I heard you Connor.”

  “Well...?”

  “Well nothing. You need your head examined if you think I’m going anywhere near ice after Friday. Seriously, Connor. Do you have a thing for hospitals, because I for one have filled my quota for the month.”

  “Nina, come one. It’s just ice skating. Nothing is going to happen. Now go get dressed, I’ll be there soon to pick you up.” Connor orders exasperated. Who the hell does this guy think he is?

  “Don’t tell me what to do! You’re not my boss.” I squeak petulantly.

  Connor chuckles on the other line, further pissing me off. “And you’re not 15 anymore either. I’ll see you in 30. Dress warm.

  “But Connor, I’m not…”

  “Bye Nina.” The line goes dead. Ugh! Jackass!

  ~Exactly 40 minutes later.

  “This is a really, really bad idea!” I throw my hands out to the side as my feet slide forward ahead of the rest of my body. My torso wobbles back and forth for a few seconds before I finally maintain my balance. Ice skating. How in the hell did I get talked into this? I mean really, who came up with this ridiculous concept anyway. What kind of person says, “Oh I know, let’s go put razor blades on our shoes and run on some ice!” Someone who wants Nina Ryan dead that’s who. I finally brave a glance up from my feet and see that Connor is barely suppressing a laugh at my expense. “What?!”

  “Nina, as entertaining as the thought is, I highly doubt ice skating was invented for the sole purpose of ending your life.” He smirks at me. Damn that smirk. And damn my stupid, rebel mouth.

  “I said that all out loud huh?” I sigh. “Whatever, this is a bad idea. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take another ride to the hospital for a good long while.” Connor just laughs at me again.

  “Come on Nina, you can’t avoid doing things just because you’re afraid you will get hurt.” His eyes soften a little as he says this and it’s pretty obvious that he isn’t just talking about ice skating anymore.

  “Connor, you don’t understand. I’ll fall. I always fall and I don’t do it gracefully. I land hard and I usually break something. I’m a walking disaster just waiting to happen. Don’t you understand?” Well hell, maybe I’m not talking about ice skating either.

  “I understand Nina, but this time it’s different.”

  “Why? How could this time possibly be any different than the others?” I throw my arms up in the air in frustration and I immediately lose my balance and start to teeter on the thin edges of my blades. Just when I think I’m about to go ass over tea kettle before I even start skating, Connor grabs both of my arms and holds me in place, steadying me. My eyes make their way to his and he reaches one hand out to brush a stray hair from my vision and tucks it behind my ear.

  “It’s different, because this time I’m here to catch you.” He whispers, sending frightening flutters to my stomach. When I don’t respond, he moves to stand next to me and we slowly begin to glide forward.

  It takes me a few minutes to get the motions right, but I eventually set a steady rhythm of one foot in front of the other and am gliding across the ice just a little unsteady. I haven’t looked up from the ice once out of fear that I’ll lose my footing, but after the seventh lap around the rink, I feel warm fingers start to toy with my palm before threading through my own and squeezing gently. I abandon my focus to look up at Connor who is smiling at me. We move around the rink a few more times in silence and the longer he holds my hand the more comfortable I get with it. It starts to feel necessary. I want his touch. No, I need him to touch me. And that’s precisely why I pull from his grasp and pretend to fuss with my hair before dropping my hand down to my side and ball it in a fist.

  Comfort is dangerous. Need is a handicap. Once you get comfortable with something, you stop paying attention. You lose focus on the things that matter and you take things for granted. Comfort gives you a false sense of security and you start to ignore your instincts, you forget to look around you and defend yourself. Need is much more lethal though, because when you need something, you can’t live without it and nothing is forever.

  “Nina…” I fake indifference when I look over at Connor so he won’t see the depth of my internal conflict. I wait for him to speak, still keeping my fingers tight against my palm. “Never mind.” He huffs. “I’m going to go get something to drink over there at the concession. Do you want anything?” I shake my head and he frowns silently at me for a few seconds before turning and skating away. I watch his retreating form glide across the rink and step down to walk over to the concession as I resume my carful skating.

  I’ve never wanted to be brave before. All those years ago the only thing I wished for was understanding and a second chance. I now understand why those things happened to me and my family, but I’m still working on the second. If I give in to these feelings, I’ll just end up right back where I was nine years ago. Curled in a ball on my bed, crying painful tears, itching with mental filth and unable to move, paralyzed with devastation. I was able to push past it and start fresh then, but life is not a baseball game. For me, there will be no third strike. I don’t want to even chance the second. I know all of this to be true, so why do I find myself wanting to take a chance even knowing the risks. I never asked for courage, I never asked for a chance to prove myself. I just wanted to get through this life without being dealt another devastating blow. Just make it to the other side with one less scar.

  Then Connor had to show up and completely throw me off balance. I want things I’ve never wanted. I feel things I’ve never felt. Maybe this is a test or something. Maybe I’m supposed to resist these feelings. Connor is from New York, which means he will be leaving soon. He’s insanely good looking and charming, which means he probably has girls lining up to get a piece of him. More importantly he has things to hide. I’ve noticed that he is a font of information about his life, never hesitating to answer my questions or tell stories, but there is one subject that I’ve learned is off limits. His job.

  I would just be repeating my mistake with Ricky if I fell for him knowing all of this. I vowed that night to learn from my mistakes, not relive them. I cannot, will not put myself through that again. Now that my mind is made up, I glance over and see that Connor is leaning against the counter waiting for his food and watching me through the glass that surrounds the rink. I stick my chin in the air and start to skate faster around and around the small room of ice. I put 100 percent of my focus on my feet and my body and not falling. I wil
l not fall. I will not fall.

  A familiar sound breaks through my concentration. “Nina! Nina!” I look up and see Connor flying across the rink, eyes fixed in my direction with feral intensity just as hard body crashes into me. Ice flies around my feet and I’m pushed towards a doorway in the glass and land face first on the rubber mat outside of the rink. All of the air whooshes out of my lungs and I can’t take any back in due to the heavy form lying on top of me. I kick my feet behind me and rock my body side to side in an attempt to dislodge the weight, to no avail. Panic sets in at the sensation of not being able to move or take in air and my lungs burn from being empty. To my relief, the weight suddenly disappears and my chest inflates as I take in a long shuttering breath.

  When the spots clear from my vision and the coughing subsides, I roll over on my side a little dazed and a lot confused. People are running around me trying to help me stand, but Connor isn’t one of them. I scan the area until my eyes land on his back which is turned to me as he holds a man up by his shirt against the glass of the rink and two other men are trying to pull him away. I jump to my feet and carefully walk on my skates as fast as I can manage without falling again or running into anyone, over to Connor.

  “Who the hell are you?! Why did you attack her?! TELL ME NOW!” Connor is screaming furiously into the man’s face. The poor guy is about the same size and age as Connor, but clearly scared out of his mind. His eyes are wide with fear and his hands are pressed against the glass on either side of him. Two men each have ahold of Connor’s arms and are tugging and trying to reason with him, but Connor is immovable and doesn’t seem to hear a word they are saying.