Whisper To A Scream

by Trina M. Lee

  “You’d be surprised.” So many beings called the darkness home, and I had borne witness to those that had never been human as well as those that had lost all of their humanity.

  She studied me then, making me feel uncomfortable. “You have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen. I can’t decide if they’re green or gold. It’s like someone sprinkled gold dust into your eyes. Amazing.”

  “Thank you.” I shifted in my seat, suddenly unable to sit still.

  “So, tell me more about these so called protective services. Please tell me you don’t just lurk around looking for lonely prostitutes.” She made a face then, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  There it was, the spark I’d been seeking within her. The hope she had claimed as her own, it was there, deep inside, burning with a fire all its own. She was no lost soul.

  “I take care of those who need me. I offer protection.” There was little more I could say. I was already treading too close to blatant truth.

  “Like a bodyguard? That must be dangerous.” She waved to the bartender, calling for another tray of tequila. Her reliance on alcohol was worrisome. It seemed to be a natural outlet for her, but that comfort could be deadly.

  A wild cheer from the corner prevented my response. I had to wait for the sports fans to calm down before I could say, “Danger is just the beginning. What I do, it can get outright ugly at times. Which is why I can’t talk about it much.”

  She nodded knowingly. “I get that. My job can be pretty scary at times, too.”

  “Then why do it?”

  “Gotta pay the bills.” She shrugged as if that explanation was enough, but the faraway look in her eyes told me how much she wasn’t saying.

  The bartender cleared away the empty shot glasses scattered about our table before depositing a fresh, full batch. With each one that I emptied, I felt myself sinking deeper into the sharp clutches of temptation, an unwelcome reminder that I was playing with fire.

  The conversation took a new, lighter turn. Music and other various pop culture references dominated as she told me her many favorites. I nodded along, adding comments in the right places, anything to keep her talking. I was happy to just sit there and listen. Listening is one of the things I do best.

  Christina began to open up. What had started as sharing of favorite movies and songs became an outpouring of her reasons why. One song by a popular country music artist reminded her of high school and those precious teenage years so quickly stolen away by time. That led to a story about her first boyfriend. He’d deceived her, wickedly, leading to her distrust of all men.

  I wanted to brush the hair out of her eyes and tell her that the right man would never mislead her. It was a growing battle to keep such promises silenced; it wasn’t my place.

  Besides, I didn’t dare interrupt her. Fueled by intoxicated ease, her words were flowing freely, and I feared that they might stop.

  A familiar sensation gripped me. My charge was in danger, a threat that I was obligated to dispatch. I had to be there, now.

  “I’m so sorry,” I interrupted. “I’ve got to go. I’m needed elsewhere. Immediately.”

  Christina sat up straighter in her chair, sobering somewhat. “Did I bore you? Geez, you could have just told me to shut up. You don’t have to invent a reason to leave.”

  Rising, I reached across the table and took her hand, a brief moment of contact that was over too soon. “You could never bore me. You’re far too fascinating for that. I’m sorry to leave like this. I’ll come right back, though I don’t expect you to wait.”

  I pressed some money into her hand, more than enough for the drinks. I was already late so there was no time for goodbyes.

  Exiting the building, I thought of Alexa and willed myself to be where she was. Time and space ceased to exist. Then it returned, and with it, my arrival to a large theme hotel.

  I lingered unseen, without physical form. A demon had caught Alexa and her male companion unawares. He was sprawled on the floor, unconscious. Alexa fell to her knees under the weight of the demon’s metaphysical attack.

  Before I could intervene, the door burst open, revealing one of the most powerful demons ever to walk the earth. Lilah’s history was vast, and her current state was complicated. She made short work of Alexa’s attacker. With just a word and a look, he was obliterated, destroyed by one of the few demons with the ability to do such a thing.

  After rousing the downed man, Lilah made a hasty exit. I watched her quick retreat down the hall. She stopped suddenly, turning on her heel to look right at me.

  “You dropped the ball on that one, Willow,” she said, smiling in dark amusement. “That isn’t like you.”

  I stepped forward, taking on physical form. “I was here. I was in there before you were.”

  “And, you’re defensive too,” she taunted. “Don’t worry. I took care of it for you. This time.”

  She kept walking, taking the stairs rather than the elevator. I matched her pace, furious with myself for being late to act and furious with Lilah for being a pompous fiend.

  “Stay away from her, Lilah,” I warned, bristling with power. I couldn’t help but react to her darkness with readiness. “I know Shya sent you. I won’t let either of you get to her.”

  “I have a job to do. Just like you.” She was a woman of few words. Moving fast, she descended the stairs at a pace that would have astonished a human bystander.

  “You serve only yourself. No good comes from anything you do.”

  She stopped, turning to face me. Her eyes were like fire. “I’m pretty sure I just did your job back there. What were you doing that kept you from taking that guy out first?”

  I said nothing. She drew her own conclusions from my silence. “Uh huh. An angel with a secret. How fun. You just might prove to be interesting.”

  I stopped in my tracks, watching her saunter down to the last floor and out the exit. She didn’t look back, leaving me instead with her parting words and my own shame. She was right; we both had a job to do.

  After ensuring Alexa was indeed safe, for the moment, I took my leave and returned to Woody’s Pub. Christina was gone.

  The bartender caught my eye and shrugged. “That girl doesn’t wait around for any man. Once the cash and the booze stop flowing, she’s done.”

  I left the pub to stand outside and stare down the street. She was nowhere in sight. Letting her go was in both of our best interests. In all honesty, though, I didn’t want to. At the very least, I owed her an apology.

  “Is there something you’d like to share?” Serene’s melodic voice rang out behind me.

  I turned slowly to face him. “Not particularly.”

  We stared at one another. When I wouldn’t volunteer anything, Serene nodded and swept past me, his grey coat billowing behind him. “Be careful, Willow. Temptation seeks to lure you away from your path.” His warning shook me, though he was too respectful to say any more about it. “Would you care to join me? We still have a scroll to find.”

  Chapter Three

  “Allow me the chance to apologize. I can’t tell you how awful I feel. I can explain.” I cringed, hearing myself all but beg Christina to see me. I was surprised she had even bothered to take my call.

  She sighed, and her tone held the bitter sting of contempt. “Clearly, I was expecting too much from you, Willow. It’s ok. I should have known better than to think I could have a normal night out with a man. Let’s just forget we ever met.”

  Her rejection was a painful jab deep within me, unlike anything I’d known before.

  “I won’t forget. I can’t. Not now.”

  “Don’t get all weird on me. I hate having to deal with weird.”

  Frustration brought several unsavory words to mind. I somehow managed to withhold them. If she hung up, that would be it, over before it began. Before what began? I was in way over my head here.

  “Let me take you for dinner, please. To make it up to you.” This newfound desperation to see her again was ent
irely unpleasant and equally unwelcome.

  After a brief silence, she said, “If you want another date you can contact the escort agency and book one. It’s the first result on a local web search.”

  She was gone; my phone showed the call had been disconnected. It was over, whatever it was. I was a fool, playing in a world where I didn’t belong and hoping for a taste of something that wasn’t meant for me.

  I gazed out the window. My apartment, located above a small church in a strip mall, was quaint. Surrounded by banks and liquor stores, the church focused more on saving souls than creating beauty, and I found it comfortable.

  Tired of wrestling with myself, I considered calling on Serene. Confessing my illicit temptation to someone might help me combat it. Of course, that would be more helpful if I actually wanted to. That was what brought even the strongest person to their knees, wasn’t it? Temptation presents you with something so wrong but makes it feel so good. Even the angels are not immune to its influence.

  An elderly couple strolled down the street arm in arm, torturing me with my delusions. This desire for human love was unnatural and distracting. I should have been thankful that Christina had called it off before it could go too far, but I wasn’t.

  When I found myself waiting for her on the patio of a downtown restaurant, I started to fear I’d sunk to a frightening level of insanity. Was this ridiculous infatuation spiraling into an obsession?

  I had done as she’d suggested and called the agency. Arranging to have her meet me was easier than it should have been. These women could be accessed by anyone. The danger that her lifestyle imposed turned my stomach.

  “What are you doing here?” Christina’s voice touched me in ways it shouldn’t have.

  She stood beside me with hands on hips, staring down at me with a brow raised in scrutiny. Her dark hair was swept up in a pile of curls carefully pinned in place. The red dress she wore was cut short, revealing both cleavage and thigh. Her creamy white skin drew my gaze, try as I might to resist.

  “I came to apologize. The way I left last night was unbelievably rude. It couldn’t be avoided, but that doesn’t make it alright. I’m sorry.” I stood up and gestured to the chair across from mine. “Can we talk?”

  “I don’t think we have anything to talk about. Thanks for the drinks last night. It was nice to spend some time with a man who didn’t put his hands all over me. But, I think it would be best if we don’t play this game.” Dismissing me with a look, she turned to leave.

  I grabbed her arm, spinning her back to face me. “I’m paying for this meeting. The least you can do is listen to my apology.”

  Fury flashed bright behind her dark eyes. Crossing her arms, she reluctantly slid into the seat across from me. Pursing her full red lips, she stared at the floor before once again meeting my eyes.

  “Dude, who the hell are you? I mean, really. I meet a lot of people doing this, and I’ve gotten pretty good at reading the types that buy my services. You’re not one of them. I bet you’ve never even done this before.”

  “I haven’t,” I admitted. “There’s a first time for everything. Isn’t that what they say?”

  I don’t know what she saw in my eyes. She was confused, unsure of what she should expect from me. I shared many human afflictions such as temptation and exposure to both good and evil; however, I was not one of them. Could she see that?

  In an action that felt foreign and completely inappropriate, I discreetly slid a handful of money to her. She swiped it in a practiced motion and stuffed it into her bra without counting it.

  “What do you want?” She demanded. “Dinner? Drinks? The full meal deal with a happy ending?”

  “I want to spend time with you. Dinner. Or a movie. A walk by the river? Whatever you like.” It sounded foolish, even to me. I didn’t want what she was selling, not for a price.

  The Christina sitting with me now was not the same woman who had so charmingly smiled up at me during the charity dance. She was hard and brittle, emanating a cold that chilled me.

  She laughed, a short, clipped sound. “You want the girlfriend experience? If it’s illusion you’re seeking then you’ve got the right girl. But, let me make something clear, it isn’t real.”

  The chilly reception was almost natural. Only a twitch in her jaw gave her away. She was putting up a front.

  “Fair enough.”

  We ordered a small meal, and Christina did her best to fake her way through it. I had somehow earned and then lost her trust in such a brief time that her reluctance was understandable. Men paid for her time and body without caring about her. She was a means to an end for them, but deep down she knew I was different.

  We left the restaurant and walked through the river valley. It was a lovely place to wander with lush green trails. In several places, we stopped to watch the water. The river valley was one of my favorite things about this city.

  “I don’t come here enough,” she said, taking a deep breath of cool evening air. “I always forget how beautiful it is.”

  “I come here frequently. It’s an enchanting little piece of nature in the midst of such chaos.” The scent of foliage was rich and sweet. The environment resonated a vibrant energy that hummed with purity.

  “So, is this something you do a lot?” Christina asked with a teasing smile. “Bring women out here, woo them with some pretty poetic words about nature, and then what? You sure you aren’t going to murder me?”

  I laughed along with her. It was the smallest of things to share, but it felt massive. The wall she had erected between us was crumbling, much to my relief.

  “I promise that you will always be safe with me.” I plucked a flower from the ground and tucked it into her hair. The blush that colored her cheeks caused my stomach to tighten.

  She reached to touch the flower, watching me with veiled suspicion. “I do feel safe with you. Why is that? Especially considering it feels like you’re hiding something massive and dangerous.”

  Quickly, I averted my gaze, staring out at the river. The streetlights bounced off the water’s surface, their reflection rippled and danced. I toyed with the idea of spilling my secret, but I just couldn’t.

  “I’m sure there is much we’re both withholding. Wouldn’t you say?” I countered. “Tell me something. Why did you try to get rid of me? Because I ran out on you? Is that the only reason?”

  “You like to get right to the point, huh?” She elbowed me playfully in the ribs. “Ok, fine. The truth is that I was afraid. I really like you, Willow. You danced with me without knowing what I do. Your smile was so real. It felt like it was just for me. But then you found out and you took off. It stung more than I’d like to admit.” Shaking her head in disbelief, she spat out a few explicit words. “Wow. Why did I just tell you that?”

  She pranced away to a bench up ahead and patted the seat beside her, waiting for me to catch up.

  “You’re a good listener. A little too good,” she quipped when I sat beside her.

  “It’s a gift.” I laughed it off, hoping to make light of it. Humans felt safe and secure with me. It wasn’t my intent to draw her in with that ability, but it wasn’t always within my control. “Seriously though, Christina, I truly am sorry for the disappearing act. It was work related. I hope you can understand.”

  Her smile faded. I hated that. She touched the flower again, slowly tracing each petal with her fingers.

  “I can try. Now, you answer a question. Tell me what makes a sweet, good looking, but a little bit weird, kind of guy like you break your hooker cherry.”

  The heat of her body next to mine stole my voice. We sat close, just barely touching. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I had already broken so many rules.

  “Something about you drew me. Something that your occupation cannot change.”

  “I hear a lot of crap talk from the guys that come to see me. I kind of prefer it when they don’t talk and just get down to business instead. But, you’re pretty good at this.” Christina’s voice
quaked with nerves. She had every reason to be afraid; we were breaking the laws of nature.

  I stared at her hand where she gripped the edge of the bench. Letting my breath out slowly, I slid my fingers over hers. “Is that how you’d like this to go? I use your body and then leave, never caring about the soul housed inside? That’s not who I am.”

  Our eyes met. Christina searched me, skeptical and confused. She did not pull her hand away when I slipped my fingers between hers.

  “What are you?” She asked, her voice filled with wonder. She blinked a few times and gave her head a shake. “Sorry, that was a weird thing to say. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a man talk to me like I’m a person. I don’t really know how to respond.”

  This was dangerous. She was seeing through my human façade without knowing it. The illusion was failing because my intent, too, was failing. I wanted her to see, though it was selfish. I had no right to change her forever.

  “You are a person. Never accept that you’re less than that. You are not your job. It does not define you.” I lifted her hand to my lips, pressing a chaste kiss to her palm.

  Her long lashes fluttered, and she sighed. “Well aren’t you a sweet talker? I might not even have to fake it with you.”

  Christina’s words cut me like a double-edged sword, deep and painful. It sickened me to imagine her playing a role for a man who saw her as nothing but a body to use and abuse.

  “Come on,” I said, standing and pulling her along with me. “I’ll walk you back to your car. I want to make sure you get there safely.”

  “What happened to playing twenty questions? I thought that’s where we were headed.” She didn’t release my hand as we walked, holding tightly to it instead. “Did I do something to offend you? I swear I didn’t mean to ask what you are. Please don’t take that the wrong way. You’re just so… different from anyone else I’ve met.”

  “I know. That’s why we need to end this here. I shouldn’t have wasted your time. It was stupid of me to call for you tonight.” I concentrated hard on the way her hand felt in mine: small, dainty, and so very warm. Letting go would be difficult.