Coming Home (Copper Creek Book 1)

by Wendy Smith

  I press my forehead to hers and close my eyes. “I won’t be long.” Kissing her nose, I let her go and she’s straight-faced as I walk out to the car. As I reach it, I turn and look back at the house. This place has been enough for her, but I want more for us.

  Over and over again in my head, I practice what I’m going to say to my parents. Not only did they let me go all this time without the truth, but they neglected Lily and Max. I expected better. At the very least, they could have made sure my son was provided for. It’s disappointing.

  Dad’s by the back door as I pull into the yard. He tries to smile at me as I exit the car, but it’s strained. I did walk away from him the last time I was here.

  “I’m glad you’re back,” he says.

  “Just to get my things. I’m staying with Lily.”

  He nods. “I thought you might be. We need to talk.”

  “Too right we do.” It’s hard to not be angry. Even when I came home they sat by and said nothing.

  He turns to go back into the house and I follow. “Your mother’s having a nap.”

  “Probably just as well.”

  “I was about to make a coffee. Want one?”

  I nod and take a seat at the dining table. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “You wanted to talk to me about something before James told me about Lily. Was this it?”

  He gives a stiff nod as he mixes two cups of coffee and places them on the table. The sugar bowl is already sitting in front of me and he walks back to the fridge, returning with the milk and a couple of teaspoons from the drawer.

  I stir sugar into my coffee. Now I’m here, I don’t even know what to say.

  Dad takes a sip of his coffee and sighs. “Adam, I’m sorry …”

  “How could you not tell me, Dad? I almost understand Mum with her need to control everything, but you?” I want to know what he’s thinking. It’s always been clear he’s under her thumb, but surely this was too big to say nothing about.

  “It’s complicated. I did my best to make sure Lily was taken care of.” His tone is pained, and I can see how much he hates this rift the lies have caused. I haven’t seen the man in twelve years, but I love him. He’s my dad.

  “Then why is she living in the middle of nowhere, struggling, by herself?” Slamming my mug on the table, I look Dad in the eyes. I thought I could do this, stay and have a civil conversation, but the reality hits me that it’s too late for that.

  Dad’s eyes fill with tears, and he looks away. “Adam, there’s more at stake than just Lily. I did my best.”

  “Your best wasn’t good enough.” I slam my fist on the table. “Max is your grandson. What the hell is wrong with you?” My heart is shattered by my parents’ seeming indifference toward their own flesh and blood.

  I stand and head straight to my room, throwing my few things in my bag and leaving the house without another word.

  I’m done.

  Lily has the patience of a saint.

  I’ve sulked since I’ve been back at her place, and I know it. The quick conversation with Dad didn’t resolve anything as I let my temper take control of me.

  Still, she’s taken me back when I chose to stay away for so long. She didn’t need to, and I’m so aware of that. I left and didn’t look back. I betrayed her just as much as anyone else did.

  When I returned from Mum and Dad’s, she greeted me at the door and wrapped her arms around me, as if she knew that no good had come from my visit. She was always all I needed.

  In the evening, she cooks dinner. I stopped along the way to her place and grabbed some meat from the supermarket. I had all the intention of cooking, but Lily took charge, delighting in having some pork chops to do something with.

  I’m torn. I still don’t have the answers I sought from my parents thanks to my own impatience, and I’m not good company for Lily and Max. Max seems oblivious to my mood. He watches some TV before settling down to read a book. He’s so much like Lily in that way—she was one who had a love of reading.

  “Max, it’s bedtime,” Lily speaks, waking me from my stupor. “Get your pyjamas on and brush your teeth.”

  “Can Adam tuck me into bed?” He’s stuck to Adam for the day, not Dad as it was the day before in front of Eric.

  I stand and ruffle his hair as he goes past. “Sure can, bud. You get ready for bed and I’ll be right up.” We still need to sort out this whole parental thing, work out where I fit in. For now, I’ll just back Lily up.

  Watching my son climb those narrow stairs, I sigh as Lily wraps her arms around my waist.

  “Are you okay?” she asks.

  “Yes and no. I didn’t really get any answers.”

  “I’m sorry.” She leans her head against my chest, and I close my eyes.

  “Once Max is asleep, I’d really like to crawl into bed with you. We’ve got some catching up to do.”

  She chuckles. “All in one night?”

  “Depends. How much energy do you have?”

  She raises her face to me and I give her a tender kiss. “You’re a good man, Adam. I always knew that, despite feeling as if I’d been deserted.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You know what I mean. And I know you felt the same way. I spent so long thinking I’d be alone and that you didn’t want us. But I knew you better than that. I just thought …”

  “Thought what?”

  “What your mother said was right—that you thought you were too young for the extra responsibility. For ages afterward I thought you’d come back, and then you didn’t. You being here with us is everything.”

  I raise my thumb to her right cheek to wipe the tear rolling down it. Lily was always good at looking at the positive. “It’s everything to me too. When I think that I missed out on this for all this time … I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it.”

  She lets out a sigh. “Finding out that you didn’t know and having you here already makes up for so much.”

  I run my fingers through that long, blonde hair. “I wish it was more.”

  “Stop it. Go and tuck that son of ours in.”

  A smile spreads across my face, and I kiss her one more time before letting go. “I will. And I’ll make sure he falls asleep so then I get to catch up in other areas with you.”

  “Other areas?”

  I chuckle. “I’m going to assume his mother will be waiting in bed for his father?”

  “I’m pretty sure it’s safe to assume that.”

  Max is in the bathroom as I climb the stairs. He’s already in his pyjamas, and I stand at the door and smile at him as he scrubs. When he’s finished, he rinses and turns back toward me, a big grin on his face. I cock an eyebrow as we stand there, locked in place, him showing off his teeth.

  “Well?” he asks through gritted teeth after a moment.

  “Well, what?” I’m so confused.

  “Do my teeth look okay?”

  The penny drops. This must be the routine he has with Lily. I take a couple of steps and bend over to take a look. “They look fine to me.”

  He shoots past me, running across the hall and leaping on his bed.

  I follow, shaking my head as he nestles under the covers.

  “Am I allowed to call you Dad?” he asks.

  “You were calling me that yesterday.”

  “I know, but I didn’t know if I was supposed to.”

  I grin. “You’re allowed, Max. I am your dad.”

  He sits up and gives me an intense look. There must be so much going on in that head of his. “Where have you been?”

  The question hits me right in the chest. I wasn’t where I should have been. “I was in the army and travelled all over the place.”

  “You didn’t visit me.” His tone is flat.

  “Well, I was so far away I didn’t know you were here. But now I’m back.” His lower lip wobbles, and I reach out, running my knuckles under his chin. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here for yo
u and your mum. No more going away,” I whisper. This hurts so much and yet it’s what I need to do. To tell my son how I feel. I’ve had so little time to absorb everything, but being with him feels more right than anything ever has.

  I lean over, and he slips his arms around my neck. “It’s good you’re home, Dad.”

  Tears roll down my cheeks as I hold my boy tight. I grip his head and kiss his hair, my stomach churning with regret for not being here sooner, for not being here for him. Renewing my relationship with Lily is one thing—developing a relationship with Max is right up there with it.

  “Don’t cry.” Max pulls away.

  “I love you and Mum so much.” As I let him go, I force a smile through the tears.

  “We love you too. Have you seen this?” He points at his bedside cabinet. There’s a framed photo of Lily and I on what was the best night of my life. We’d gone to the school ball, danced all evening cheek to cheek, and then driven somewhere secluded where we both lost our virginity.

  “Not for a long time.”

  “It’s you and Mum.”

  I nod, reaching for the photo frame. My overwhelming memory of that night was the love between Lily and I. We were seventeen, and it felt as if we’d waited forever for that night. Within a year our lives were torn apart, and I, being a heartbroken teenager, had run away from it all. Guilt hung over me as I took in every detail of that photo. How had I not stayed? At least until I knew where she was?

  “You’re still crying, Dad.” Max tugs on my sleeve as I put the photo back.

  I can’t speak, and I wrap my arms around him again. I’ll never let either of them down again, never run, never hide from anything. No matter how hard things get. At eighteen I thought I was a man. Now I know for sure what a boy I was.

  “Goodnight.” Max’s voice is muffled, his face pressed into my chest. I release him from my hug, but cup his face.

  “Have a good sleep.” My heart swells just looking at him. My flesh and blood.

  I turn as Lily places her hand on my shoulder and I look up to see her eyes full of tears too.

  “Night, Max.” She leans over and kisses Max’s cheek. He grins as he lies down and pulls the blanket up.

  For a moment we watch him, and he closes his eyes.

  Our boy.

  Max is asleep, and I take Lily by the hand and lead her to the bedroom, closing the door behind us. We can reopen it when we’re done.

  “Sorry I’m not waiting for you,” she says, swinging her hand in mine.

  “I loved it being the three of us in there. Being with you and Max—I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means.” I smile. “Seeing that old photo was overwhelming.”

  She grins. “I dug it out the first time you visited. Max caught me sleeping with it.”

  I catch my breath at the thought of her reminiscing, all the while keeping those walls up. “So I was in your bed almost as soon as I arrived in town?”

  She slaps my arm. “I have to admit I was a little overwhelmed with memories. Didn’t help you looked so good.”

  “How good?”

  She reaches for my shirt, and I watch her face as she unbuttons it. It’s so freeing to be here with her without restriction. Lily focuses on her task and pushes the fabric back, running her hands over my chest. “That good.” Her breath hitches as our gazes lock, and I lower my head to kiss her.

  “You like, Miss Parker?” My lips seek hers, and she relaxes in my arms as we come together.

  “Very much,” she says as we pull apart.

  I raise my hand to touch her face, anchoring my fingers in her hair. She gives a little sigh when I tighten my grip. “I think you’re overdressed.”

  Her fingers trace lines up from my chest to my shoulders. Every little touch is magical, sending warmth through my body that I haven’t experienced for so long. It’s like my body knows she’s the only one for me.

  Running my hands down her back, I drop them to her thighs, pulling her up to hook her legs around my waist. I want her, want inside her, but tonight we take our time—it’s not the mad, frantic rush that’s ensued every other night.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  In response, I move us to the bed, turning and gently lowering her onto her back. My mouth is on hers, tasting her tongue as it tangles with mine. I always loved kissing her, and now it’s all I want to do.

  I raise her T-shirt, pushing it up and over her breasts, cradled in her bra. She lets out a contented sigh as I nuzzle a nipple through the thin fabric.

  “Adam.” Her fingers claw my scalp as I push her bra up and take that nipple in my mouth. It pebbles under my tongue, and her repeated sigh tells me why.

  “I love you too.” My fingers work on her jeans, and she helps, pushing them down before I take over. She raises her hand to my face and I kiss her palm, sucking her fingers one by one as I spread her legs. I kiss my way down that flat stomach and bury my face between her legs. Tasting her is almost too good to be true, and I lose myself as she surrenders to me.

  “Adam,” she cries, raking her fingers through my hair again. The act pulls me in closer, and the taste and scent of her send my senses into overdrive. I can’t respond. This is heaven. My heart is whole, and now I get to spend every second I can showing Lily just how full it is.

  I back off, planting kisses on her inner thighs, raising my eyes to meet her gaze. Her eyes are wide with anticipation, and she cries my name again and again when I raise a finger, drawing circles around her clit.

  “What are you doing?” She gasps.

  “Making you wait.”

  “Why?”

  I stop, crawling up her body until I look her in the eyes. “Because I want this to last as long as possible. I want to enjoy you as long as possible.”

  Her lips twitch. “You can enjoy me as often as you want. I think I’ve waited long enough.”

  My mouth claims hers as I taste her tongue.

  She’s right. I push into her, unable to hold back any longer.

  I can’t keep my girl waiting.

  22

  Lily

  Twelve years ago

  I no longer fear death.

  Nothing I say has gotten through to Mum, and I’ve been here weeks, or is it months?

  My once tight clothes now hang off me as the weight continues to drop off. My stomach is rock hard and bulges a little. I wonder if the same thing that happens to starving children I’ve seen pictures of is happening to me.

  Mum remembers to bring me food every two to three days. I’d be dead already if it wasn’t for the bathroom with the little hand basin. It takes a lot of effort to get there, but it’s the only source of water I have.

  When she does bring food, I try to make it last, but it’s hard. With every bite I know she’s added something to it, something to keep me weak as she “protects” me.

  There’s no point fighting her. I stopped arguing a long time ago. She thinks she’s doing what’s best, and I can’t persuade her otherwise.

  Pain in my stomach grips me and I cry out to an empty room, maybe even an empty house. Mum won’t hear me, and while I might not be scared of dying, what I want is to curl up in a ball in her arms and go to sleep. But there’s no chance of that.

  I don’t know how long I suffer, but there’s blood on the mattress, too. It’s confusing. My periods have long since stopped, and I assume it’s the fact that I’m no doubt suffering from malnutrition.

  All because my mother couldn’t bear the thought of losing me.

  Light floods the stairwell and hope grows that she’s come to help me. She appears with a tray of food. I don’t know how much time has passed as I float in and out of consciousness.

  “Here you go,” she says. She’s thin, and I don’t think she’s taking any better care of herself. She’s certainly in no kind of mental state to look after me. What if she forgets I’m here?

  “Mum, you need to get help,” I croak.

  “You’re safe here.”

  The
pain hits and I cry out, clutching my belly.

  Her eyes dart around me, and her gaze lands on the mattress. “What’s wrong?” There’s panic in her voice.

  “I don’t know. I’m in agony,” I sob, but there’s not a lot of moisture in my body. Getting to the basin has been so hard the past two days.

  “You’re bleeding.” Her voice is soft and scared.

  “Mum, you need to call an ambulance, get a doctor, something.” I’m grasping at straws.

  As she places her hand on my stomach, her eyes fill with sadness. “I’ll go and do it now.”

  Hope builds in me alongside the crushing discomfort that builds to pain again. I close my eyes, unsure of what is happening to my body, of what my mother will do, if I’ll make it out of here alive.

  I was a fool to think I could ever leave this place, get away from her and the town belief I’d end up the same she did. So much of her sewing work came to her because people were sympathetic and wanted to make sure her daughter had enough to eat. Where did they all think I was now?

  Adam. I twist the ring around my finger, the one I was supposed to wear on my wedding day. The finger that it once fit snugly on is so much smaller, but the ring holds on and gives me faith that everything will be okay.

  At least I hope so.

  All I can do is wait.

  I wake squinting in the bright light that floods the room, I look around. I’m not at home anymore. The walls are white, the furniture’s white—everything is white.

  A hospital.

  I’m in a hospital.

  My heart soars at the thought of freedom, but the pain grips me again. It’s not as severe this time, and I take deep breaths until it passes.

  “They managed to stop labour.”

  Shifting my focus to the voice, I see a man I don’t know in the doorway. He’s tall with greying hair and a short, neatly trimmed beard, and he has kind eyes.

  “Labour?”

  He gives me a small smile and approaches the bed. When he extends his hand toward me, I automatically reach out to shake it.