Lost Girl

by Mary E. Twomey

  Ever since Bastien declared that I was his, Madigan was slightly different around me. He was more helpful, though not more chatty. He didn’t look at me like I was some threatening bug anymore, but rather like I was someone he was resigned to never be rid of. He didn’t leave my side, taking Bastien’s furtive glances at Roland as a warning that I couldn’t be left alone. Bastien wasn’t up for guard duty just yet, so Madigan was my constant shadow. I don’t think either of us were all that thrilled about it.

  When hour number seven-hundred-thousand-million stretched on before us, I tried my hand at conversation, turning my head so I could see part of his scowling face. “So how’d you end up in the Forgotten Forest?”

  “Ye ask too many questions.”

  I guffawed. “Hello. I’ve been totally silent most of the day.” My spine was completely erect, so I didn’t accidentally lean back on his chest. Madigan didn’t exactly give off a cuddly vibe.

  “I don’t ask questions about the worst day of your life.”

  “Fair point. Sorry if that was rude. I just know nothing about you, and I’m bored.”

  “Ye don’t need to know about me. I’m to watch ye until Bastien’s on his feet again.”

  “You two go way back?”

  “Aye. Far enough back that he trusts me to watch his lady.”

  “I’m not his…” I sighed, exasperated. “I guess maybe I am. Avalon is weird. This is not how this kind of thing happens in my world.”

  “Well, you’re wearing the warlock’s hat and his ring. I didn’t assume you’d live after shoving Kerdik to get to Bastien like ye did, but here ye are. Whatever magic ye hold, it’s stronger than any I’ve seen.”

  I turned back around to face the front. “It’s called being nice. That’s my superpower. Feel free to try your hand at it. Not quite as impressive as leaping tall buildings in a single bound, but I find it suits most situations.”

  When he didn’t answer, I let the silence sit there for a few minutes.

  “Where are you from? Your accent’s different than the others’.” When he didn’t answer this, I turned to give him the stink eye and repeated myself.

  “Ye ask too many questions.”

  “Is it like, a secret or something?”

  Madigan sighed irritably. “I’m from Éireland. It’s a country in Faîte that’s an ocean away from here.”

  I turned to face the front again. “Do you have family there?”

  Madigan offered no attempt at a response, so I knew the answer couldn’t be a good one. His hands remained tangled in our horse’s mane, since we didn’t have reins. His arms caged me in, but his body was stiff behind mine, like he was wary of human contact, but had been forced to endure it until Bastien was better. I prayed that would be any second.

  I tried a few more break-the-ice questions before giving up on making friends with Madigan. It seemed he would only answer the questions I asked to his face. Either he was hard of hearing, or he was a grumpy jag. I was leaning toward the latter of my two working theories. I decided to focus on the horse instead.

  Our horse, Harry, was enamored of me, simply because I was the Voix. He started spilling his whole life to me, which was pretty fascinating. “How many horses like you are there?” I asked, giving his mane a stroke.

  “Seven. We weren’t born, but we were made by Carman and Kerdik.”

  I glanced to my left to take in the tall trees we passed by. “Who’s Carman?”

  Madigan stiffened. “You’ll not mention tha name, Princess. We’ve already got Kerdik who might show up at any moment. I’ll not risk our necks by bringing talk of Carman into the mix. I don’t care how charming Kerdik thinks ye are, never say her name again. Tell the horse to change the subject before my temper’s tested.”

  “Sheesh. What a drama queen you’re turning out to be. Fine. Harry, tell me about something that won’t piss off Madigan.”

  “Mad,” he corrected me. “Ye belong to Bastien now. The Brotherhood calls me ‘Mad’.”

  “Oh, okay. Do you prefer being called ‘Mad’?”

  “I prefer people know their place. The lads in the Brotherhood call me Mad because they’d die for me. I don’t bother with people outside the circle. Nothing but trouble.”

  “Hello, I was outside the circle just this morning.”

  “Aye, and so far you’ve brought me nothing but trouble. Bastien’s barely upright because ye made friends with a monster.”

  I hung my head as the guilt washed over me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know Kerdik would hurt him.” When Mad didn’t respond, I wondered if there might be something to my guess at his deafness. I turned my chin so he could see my lips move. “I tried to get Kerdik to apologize, but he wouldn’t even consider it.”

  “Aye. Tha’s the thing about monsters.”

  I gave up on talking to Madigan and switched back to Harry, who was way less intense. As the day stretched into evening, and the sun disappeared so the blue moon could loom over us in the sky, I couldn’t stifle the yawns as my eyelids began to droop.

  “We’re stopping for the night,” Bastien spoke up. He pulled Cheval toward a smattering of trees and dismounted with care. “You’re yawning, Rosie.”

  I was shocked he’d been paying attention to the small cues. “I can probably go another half hour, if you need.”

  “No. We can’t drive you this hard. Master Kerdik was right; I wasn’t watching out for you like I should’ve been.”

  I blinked at him, confused at the humble confession. “It’s cool. Sure, we can stop now. Thanks, Bastien. I am pretty tired.”

  Madigan got off the horse and helped me down. “I’ll go hunt up something for supper while the princess sleeps.”

  “No.” Bastien’s hand found its way around my back, and both of us exhaled at the contact we’d been missing. “I’m still on the mend, and I can’t trust Roland.” He didn’t bother lowering his voice to spare Roland’s feelings, but called him out on the fact that we’d traveled all this way to rescue him from oblivion, and he’d broken Bastien’s trust. “I need you to watch out for her while she’s sleeping and while I’m laying down. Everything’s still pretty jacked, Mad. Not gonna lie; that was rough.”

  Madigan nodded once and barked over his shoulder at Roland, who was helping Aunt Avril down off her horse. “Roland, go hunt us up something heartier than apples. I’m starved, and I don’t do hungry well.”

  Roland nodded and went off without a protest, no doubt glad to be away from me. Aunt Avril walked with grace into the smattering of green-trunked trees and brushed away a few errant branches and leaves. “There. That should make a decent bed until we return to civilization, and get you a real mattress.” She held out her hand expectantly. “Let me take your things. They’ll only burden you in sleep.”

  “Thanks.” I still didn’t know what to make of her sudden bossiness that morning, but handed over my backpack to her without arguing.

  “Your hat and your ring,” she prodded, her hand outstretched. “You won’t be comfortable sleeping with them.”

  I didn’t have a huge attachment to the hat, other than sentimental value, but I didn’t fork it over when my gut reared back in warning. “That’s alright. They won’t bother me. Thanks, though.”

  “Rosalie, take off that ring.” All pretense of airiness was gone, and her palm was still open between us. “Give it here. You have no idea what to do with something like that.”

  I chewed on my lower lip. “Kerdik told me not to take it off.”

  “You’re listening to a warlock over your own flesh and blood?”

  “I… But… I mean, I promised Kerdik I wouldn’t take it off. You really want me to break a promise I just made this morning? That’s not me.”

  “Give me the ring, Rosalie.”

  Bastien unbuttoned his flannel, letting me handle this while he untucked his white undershirt from his jeans. I made a loose fist with the hand that had the ring on it, looking down at the shimmering beauty as I weighed my options.
“It doesn’t feel right to take it off. And not to piss you off, but it’s too soon to play the blood relations card. We know nothing about each other. I don’t know much about you, and you don’t know even the basics about me. Thanks for the offer, but no. The ring stays on my finger until I take it off.”

  “Master Kerdik’s gifts are a curse,” she warned. “I’m only trying to save you. Give it here, and we’ll send it off with one of the horses.”

  When Cheval didn’t chime in with a hearty “screw her,” I lost a little of my certainty. “No, thank you. I’m tired, Aunt Avril. I’m going to sleep now, okay? Please don’t push me around like this. I’m twenty-two. I’m allowed to have a piece of jewelry. You’ve got three rings. I should be allowed one.”

  Her eyes softened, and my hackles rose when I smelled the foul stench of a manipulation in full swing. “If that’s all, then I’ll be happy to give you one of my rings. Two, even. I’ll trade you. This one’s from my father, King Lucien.” She twisted a yellow gem that was perched on a matching gold band from the pointer finger on her right hand. “It’s from your grandfather. I’d be happy to give it to you. I don’t have any daughters of my own. It would give me nothing but joy to see an heirloom like this on your finger.”

  My mouth fell open that she was using the memory of her own father – my late grandfather whom I’d never met – to get the jewel off my finger. I was about to answer as diplomatically as possible, when Bastien spoke up behind me. “I bowed to you earlier to set the tone of respect when I saw you in the Forgotten Forest. Don’t make me lose all my patience for you duchesses now. Rosie said no. You’ll listen to her.”

  “She’s carrying a direct link to Master Kerdik, Bastien. Don’t tell me that’s not dangerous. The monster broke you down.”

  Madigan didn’t pull any punches. “Shut your gob, ye greedy wench. I never thought I’d see the war of the Jewels of Good Fortune in action, but ye Daughters of Avalon don’t let up. The ring belongs to Rosie. If I catch ye asking her for it again, I’ll fit ye with a gag just to be rid of your scheming chatter. Morgan’s sister, if I ever saw one.”

  Aunt Avril’s cheeks turned red. “That’s not what this is. This is me trying to save her from his serpentine hands.”

  “The only snake I see right now is wearing a dress, Duchess.” Madigan turned his back on her to face me, and pulled out his dagger. “I didn’t care about the ring much before this, but if I see it off your finger, I’ll track it down and draw blood, Rosie. I’ll not see Bastien’s lady jerked around like this.” He muttered under his breath as he stomped off. “Playing the grandfather card. Pathetic.”

  Aunt Avril opened her mouth, but I held up my hand to stop her. “I’m going to sleep. I’m not pissed, but I wouldn’t test Mad, if I were you.”

  Aunt Avril straightened her dress and brushed her hair back. “I think I’ll go water the horses. Excuse me.”

  I looked down at my ring, my heart aching that so much fuss was being caused over such a small thing. It was such a nice gift, but now it felt selfish to hold tight to something that was material and superficial.

  Bastien draped his flannel shirt over my shoulders. Though everyone knew about us, he still glanced around before he kissed my temple. He kept his lips there and breathed in the scent of my skin. “I see you kicking yourself. Don’t. Mad was right. She’s a Daughter of Avalon. They’ll fight for Master Kerdik’s jewels to the death. I’ve seen it happen over and over. I guess I always assumed it was only Morgan who couldn’t control herself, but man, to use your dead grandfather like that? Don’t take it off your finger, Daisy. I mean it.”

  I nodded, solemn as I slipped my hand into his. “I never had any real jewelry before. That my first grownup ring causes a fight in my family the very first day I get it? Something about that takes a little of the shine out of the whole thing.”

  He kissed my temple again, and then gave me a look of pure compassion, viewing my struggle clearly. “Let me see what all the fuss is about.” Bastien lifted our entwined hands up to examine the jewels, putting on a show to cheer me up. He let out a low whistle. “Wow. That really is something. It’ll make your right hook that much more lethal.”

  I snorted. “That’s exactly what I said! You’re funny.” I looked at the shine under the moon. The dim light from the moon filtering through the trees made the aquamarine that much bluer. “I think it’s pretty.”

  “It is, honey.” He led me over to the space that had been cleared for us. Bastien slowly lowered himself to the ground, making several “oof” noises, and sounding like an old man trying to lay on the forest floor.

  “You’re in pain still? Where does it hurt?”

  “Only everywhere.” He waved off my concern. “I’m alright. Just whining. Hoping to get a little sympathy from a beautiful woman.” He held out his arms to me, smiling when I sank down into his body space – half on my side next to him, and half leaning my front to his as my body curled around him. He didn’t waste time with teasing, but went straight for my lips, kissing me until my eyelashes fluttered shut and my limbs started tangling through his. It had been too long since we’d kissed, and I’d missed the flavor of Bastien.

  We finally came up for air when he winced. He didn’t want to admit he was still hurting, so I didn’t call him out on it. I slowed our kiss until we were lightly nipping at each other’s lips, like taking small puffs from a cigar we were both heavily addicted to.

  Bastien rubbed his nose to mine. “I don’t like you on anyone’s horse but ours. When you wake up, I’ll be better and ready to ride with you. I trust Mad, of course, but I missed you.” He squeezed my hips. “Holding onto you, feeling your body against mine. I miss everything about everything you are.”

  “I was only a few feet away, you know.”

  “Too far,” he smirked, going in for another kiss, and another, and still more, and somehow still never enough.

  35

  Together, but Not

  The next day brought a bittersweet joy that finally Bastien and I could be together without hiding, but it would only last for the duration of this trip, which was almost over. We kept our morning makeout private on the floor of the forest until I started choking on my lueur. Bastien didn’t freak out, but handed me a canteen and rubbed my back until my eyes stopped watering and my choking subsided. “You stayed with me,” I said with a note of wonder coloring my voice. “Thank you.”

  Bastien sighed. “I shouldn’t have split on you that first time. I want to take your lueur and be your Guardien, but I have Rachelle to consider.”

  I nodded, trying to keep a bland smile on my face. “I get it. It’s fine. I don’t really know enough about the whole thing to give my lueur away without Lane there to put her stamp on the whole thing. You won’t get any pressure about that whole thing from me.”

  Bastien rubbed the nape of his neck. “That’s the other thing. I… Lane… I don’t think she’ll approve, and I know that’s kind of a deal breaker for you.”

  “Why wouldn’t she approve?”

  “Because I’m me. I’m a hermit who lives alone in the woods. Lots of blood on my hands. Engaged. Not exactly who you picture your daughter settling down with.” He hefted me up, his fingers twined through mine as we made our way to the horses, who had grown restless after an entire night of doing nothing. The holding hands in public was a new thing to me, and for some reason made me a little more introverted than I wished I was. My voice grew quieter, and I kept my eyes to myself after the obligatory morning greetings.

  Madigan motioned to a flat rock that had a mangled two-headed dog on it. “Roland hunted us a dog to eat. Have your fill, and let’s be off.” The skin had been ripped off and fileted, and the was meat cooked over a fire they’d made while I’d been asleep.

  I wasn’t an overly emotional vegetarian. Judah and Jill ate meat all the time in the apartment, and I didn’t say one word about it. There was something about seeing the kill split open, with bone and sinew spilling out of its carcass
, that turned my stomach and pricked my heart anew. I opted for yet another apple and munched on it while Bastien had his fill of dog meat.

  “Ye should eat,” Madigan scolded me, the space between his eyebrows wrinkling as he frowned.

  “I am eating. Apples are food, you know.”

  “Aye, but it’s not often we take the time to hunt. Won’t know when we’ll get meat next, so best take advantage.”

  I kept my voice quiet and pulled him away from the others to privately explain my conundrum about being able to hear the animals, and not feeling right eating someone I’d had a conversation with. “It’s not the same for you. To me it feels like eating a friend’s body. Apples will work until we get somewhere that there’s more food for me.” I shook my head at myself. “I’m really not trying to be picky. I promise I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m not complaining or anything.”

  Madigan’s mouth fell open after my reasoning came to light. “I didn’t think about tha. I guess it would be a wee bit uncomfortable eating someone you’d spoken to. Ye can’t live on apples, though.”

  I shrugged. “I can’t live with myself if I eat a friend. I’ll be fine. It’s just another day, right?”

  “Aye.” He pointed his dagger toward Roland, who was eating with Bastien and actually smiling. I hadn’t seen my cousin smile yet, and the expression looked odd when I was so accustomed to his scowl of blatant hatred. “Tha one didn’t come near ye all night, but I still want ye to stay away from him. The duchess, too. She’s got greed in her eyes, so no matter what, don’t take the ring off. I mean it. Not just because Master Kerdik says so, and not because ye want to wear it, but because if I see it on her finger, I won’t hesitate to cut it off her. I’m starting to think the Daughters of Avalon might be blaming Morgan for everything, when Morgan was the only one smart enough to pull off what they all wanted to do.”