He hangs up the phone and comes into the kitchen.
“Was that Alan?”
“Yes, hon, it was. I didn’t mean for you to hear that. I’m sorry, I just lost it. I shouldn’t have, but I can’t help it. I can’t believe what he’s done and how he’s torn your family apart.”
“What am I going to tell the kids? And when should I tell them?”
“Let’s not rush into things. Take a few days and then we can come up with something. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I just want you to get through Thanksgiving. You need to enjoy time with your kids. Forget about him—for now, anyway. Why don’t you go upstairs and take a bath, do your hair, and put on some makeup? It will make you feel better.”
I realize he is right, so I do just that. My eyes are still a swollen mess, but I find soaking in the tub is comforting.
Thoughtful man that he is, Ash knocks on the door before coming in. “Liv, here—I brought you something to help your eyes.” In a small bowl, he has brought me some ice-cold cucumber slices. “I know these are good for your eyes. Lay back in the tub…here” He places them on my eyes and turns up the music. He lights some fragrant candles around the tub and tells me to relax.
I realize that I am naked in the tub—I freeze.
“Relax, honey, remember, I have seen you without clothes on. No worries. Just relax. After your bath, I am taking you dancing.”
I panic. “Ash, please, I can’t go anywhere. Not tonight.”
He reassures me that we are not going out, and instructs me to put on what he has laid out for me on my bed. “Fix your hair, put on some makeup, get dressed, and come downstairs.”
I do as he instructs. I do feel better with my hair dried and some makeup on. The swelling in my eyes has gone down, so I at least feel presentable. On my bed, is one of his white dress shirts with his monogram on the cuff, a pair of clean panties, and a single long-stemmed red rose. I wonder what he has up his sleeve to make me feel better.
I get dressed and head downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs is a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers. From there single rose petals mark a trail into the kitchen, where I find two wine glasses and a fruit and cheese platter on the counter. The lights are dimmed, and there are candles all over the breakfast room. Outside, the twinkle-lights glow in the trees around the patio. Soft music is playing.
Ash walks over and pours me a glass of wine. “Olivia, you look amazing. I know you don’t feel like going anywhere, so I am taking you dancing here, just you and me.” He holds his hand out and smiles, his eyes asking, “Dance with me?” He has on a pair of jeans and a white dress shirt just like the one I’m wearing and he’s barefoot. He has the most amazing feet.
He holds out his hand and takes me into his arms. A beautiful song is playing. A raspy, soulful voice sings about coming in from the cold and closing the door from the hurt making you feel alone. Our dance is slow and sensual, and I feel so secure. We stand almost still, but our hips sway, and I feel him.
“This is wonderful, Ash. I can’t believe you did this. Who is that singing?”
“It’s Marc Broussard. A beautiful song for a beautiful lady.” Ash softly sings the words in my ear.
In spite of what has transpired this past twenty-four hours, I suddenly feel wanted—and desirable. I haven’t felt this in ages. We dance almost nonstop to soft slow music, and I am taken away by the music and by this wonderful man. He is here to pick up the broken shattered pieces of my life that Alan has left me with.
“Ash, I am so sorry that this has happened. I have no idea what I am going to do now…how to tell the kids. I have no idea what to do.”
“Honey, tonight is all yours…don’t even think about anything tonight…and that’s an order. Let’s just get Olivia back to being Olivia.”
He carries me into his room and places me on his bed. There are candles lit and the room is dark, except for the candlelight. Soft music is playing. He gently unbuttons my shirt, but leaves it on.
“Olivia, I am going to spoil you, tonight. I want you to just relax and feel…feel all the hurt away.” I have an idea where this is going, and he immediately senses my fear. “This is all about you honey—not me. I have enormous feelings for you, and don’t get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to make love to you, but for tonight, just lay back and let this be about you.” He has a bottle of lotion on the nightstand, which he opens and pours into his hands. It is the lotion he bought for me the night I first got here, and it smells wonderful.
He begins by spreading my legs ever so slightly…softly rubbing my feet—then my toes -one at a time. He softly kisses the arches of my feet.
Oh, my God—every nerve in my body is coming alive. With his tongue, he gently moves up my calf, kissing, lightly blowing and licking softly, then back down to my feet again. He rubs the lotion on the inside of each of my thighs.
“Feel good?”
“Ummmm…very. I’m so relaxed, Ash.”
“That’s my girl. You feel so good. Your skin is so damn soft. Now, close your eyes. No peeking!” He knows me too well.
He continues the soft kissing and blowing until he has reached my hips. My breasts become so sensitive. I can’t believe how totally aroused I am. He breathes softly on my belly. My back arches out of total reflex. He blows softly at the apex of my most intimate and private spot, then expertly, with his tongue, begins to explore. I am throbbing and on the brink of orgasm, but he won’t let it happen yet.
“We’re going to take this slow—slow and easy. Just relax.”
Immediately, I come to my senses and freeze. “Ash, I…I...I can’t have sex with you. As much as I want to right now, I just can’t do this! I can’t, Ash. I’m so sorry.”
“Olivia, I don’t want to have sex, or make love to you…not yet, anyway. Believe me, the time isn’t right. This is not having sex, Olivia; this is about touch and feeling. That’s all I want for you.”
“But this isn’t fair to you.”
“Shhhhhh…no more talking or thinking, Liv. I’m serious! This isn’t about me, remember?”
He closes my eyes with his fingers and pats me on the nose. He cups my breasts and caresses them. I moan, softly, and the sound of my moans is something very new to me. Could it be that I am actually starting to feel again?
He lies at my side and begins to tenderly kiss me again. I open my mouth to accept his tongue, and he softly licks my lips and starts to lightly suck on my tongue and on my bottom lip. Oh, my! I’ve never in my life been kissed like this, and my emotions are at the boiling point. I feel like I’m going to explode, and I plead with him.
“Ash, please!”
“What Olivia—Do you want me to stop? Just tell me. I will, if you’re uncomfortable. I swear. Just say the word.”
“Yes. No…Yes… I mean no! I Ummm, I feel like my whole body is on fire. Please, Ash, don’t stop! God this is amazing!” I can’t believe I am talking to him like this. It seems so right, so natural, but it’s wrong. It’s wrong because I’m married! As inhibited as I am, or thought I was, he makes me feel totally secure and whole.
He moves back down to that place. With every ounce of passion he has, he brings me to an incredible climax. My whole body shudders and shakes. I scream uncontrollably as my body explodes and I fall limp. He takes me into his arms, then, and I’m like putty, exhausted and drained, but completely satisfied. I have never in my life experienced anything quite like this.
“Liv, you are so damn beautiful when you’re body responds to me. I just could watch you like this forever.”
“Ash,” I respond, “you totally take my breath away, and you’re without a doubt the sexiest, most wonderful man I know!”
I feel his excitement, even though he is still in his jeans. My hand moves down to feel him and he moves my hand, telling me “Liv, honey, don’t. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. You really don’t have to do this. I’m satisfied just knowing that you’re satisfied. It is all about you, t
onight, remember? You are relaxed and satisfied, aren’t you?”
“Ummmm-hmmmm, very!” I whisper.
My confidence kicks in as I move up to my knees and sit beside him on the bed. My subconscious tells me that it’s okay to do this. I slowly unzip his jeans, and he quickly helps me slip them off. He’s got the most amazing body. He’s lean but muscular, tanned, and he smells out of this world. I can feel his reaction as I gently touch him. He comes alive with arousal.
He whispers and tells me in his sexy voice. “Liv, you’re in really big trouble now. You’ve now woken the sleeping giant!”
I laugh softly to myself, and think that it literally is the giant, in every sense of the word.
“Honestly, Olivia, if you don’t want to, or if you’re not comfortable doing this, I can take care of things myself… I can take matters into my own hands, you know…” I know he’s serious, but he makes me laugh. I tell him that I really don’t want to stop. He reassures me saying, “I have deep feelings for you, Liv, and I don’t want to rush things. This isn’t why I brought you into my bed tonight.”
My confidence is in high gear “Shhhhh…it’s your turn. I want you to just lay back and enjoy, now”
His body responds “My God!! You’re amazing and so, so beautiful Liv. This is wonderful, honey!”
After the pleasure he’s just given me, I feel completely at ease. He guides my hand and shows me what to do, and how to best give him pleasure. It’s strange how instinct takes over and I don’t even have to really think about what I’m doing. I’m not experienced with intimacy, in the true sense, but I’m receptive, willing to being his student. I can tell by the way he moves his body that he’s close to his climax. He’s breathing hard.
“Liv, honey, are you completely sure about this?”
“Yes, Ash, I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life!”
He lets out a moan of complete pleasure. I feel liberated and loved.
“My God! You have no idea how wonderful that was, Liv! Sorry, some of it went north…I sure didn’t mean for that to happen.”
He gets a cloth and wipes my neck. We both laugh hysterically. He kisses me softly, and asks me if I’m okay. I tell him that I am more than okay. Who knew that sex (or no sex) could be so satisfying?
“Liv, I really didn’t mean for this to turn into my pleasure. I set out for this to be all about you.”
“Ash, I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t want to. I promise!”
We lie together in his bed, his body secure against my back, and fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. I feel so complete. During the night, he strokes my head softly. I hear him whisper in my ear, “My God, woman. I’ve fallen for you bad…so bad. You complete me. No turning back, now.”
He thinks I am asleep, but I hear every word, and feel like I am coming back to the world…
I feel the same as he does…God help me!
Chapter 12
The next few days are a blur. Alan has left me several voice mails, but I don’t call him back. What is there left to say? He found someone else and wants out of the marriage. He has broken our vows, and there is no turning back.
I tell Ash that I only want the kids to come in for Thanksgiving. I will just tell them that Alan has to stay in London. I think I can pull that off, and I don’t want to face telling them and spoiling Thanksgiving. I’d planned on emailing each of our kids to ask them to write down what they are thankful for and bring it with them. I’d planned on everyone reading their “I am thankful” notes at the dinner table during the celebration.
“That sounds wonderful, Liv. We each have our own reasons for being thankful. I am selfish with mine, so you’ll have to hear mine in private.”
Tuesday night, before Thanksgiving, Ash helps me get ready for the kids’ arrival. Tommy calls to let us know the band is booked to play in Highland Park the Friday after Thanksgiving, so we can all go into town and hear them play. I think my kids will enjoy that. The other three band members are coming for dinner on Thursday as well, so I am glad.
Wednesday night, Ash and I head to Chicago to pick my kids up from the airport and bring them to the house. We have food being delivered tonight, since Ash said I don’t need to spend my whole night in the kitchen. How thoughtful! I have decorated for the holiday, and have the dinner table all set. Ash has gone into his wine cellar and brought out some wonderful wines for us to enjoy. Everything is ready.
When we get to the airport, the first to arrive is Dalton, coming in from Malaysia. “Mom!” He runs and scoops me up into his arms. “Wow! New hairdo—you look awesome!”
I am so glad to see him. He looks so much like Alan, with his dark hair. So handsome. “Dalton, this is Ash Harper. His home is where we’re having Thanksgiving dinner.”
“Glad to meet you, Mr. Harper! Mom has told me nice things about you. Thanks for having us. You’ll probably regret it though.” He laughs, eyes glittering as he joshes Ash. “Who is next to get in?” he asks.
I tell him that Bradley is next. He will be arriving in an hour, so we head down from the international terminal to the airline club to have a cocktail. Since Ash was a pilot with the airline, we have privileges to get into the club. Dalton tells us all about his job, and Ash asks him how he likes Malaysia
“Much different from Texas, Mr. Harper, but I am adjusting. I love my job, so that makes it bearable. The cost of living is a lot less than in the States, so that’s a perk.”
We hear Bradley’s flight announced, and head out to meet him as he leaves the terminal. Once we see Bradley come into the lobby, Dalton and I hold up our Longhorn fingers and run over to him.
“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Bradley shouts. “Damn, Mom! You look so young! What’s up with the new ‘do?”
“You like?” I am so happy to have my boys with me. We introduce Ash to Bradley, and then we head back into the club to wait for Lainey and Kellan’s arrival.
“I can’t believe you got us all coming in within a few hours of each other, Mom. You rock!” Bradley says.
“Yep, your mom has a knack for the Internet and a way of making things happen, doesn’t she?” Ash says. He tells the boys how I have been cooking nonstop for the past week.
“Yep, that’s Mom! She’s a hell of a cook! I have really missed Mom’s meals,” Dalton says.
Bradley is quick to notice that I have lost weight. “Why are you so thin Mom? Are you trying to lose weight? Because you really don’t need to. What are you now, about a size zero? What’s up with that?”
I quickly divert the conversation to another subject. I certainly don’t want to go into that. Ash helps me by telling the boys about Tommy’s band, and lets them know we’re all going to watch him play Friday night.
“That is so cool!” Dalton says.
I tell the boys what a good band Tommy has, and that his band will be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner, then ask, “Did you bring your ‘I-am-thankful-for?’”
“I brought my thankful, and Bradley brought his wishfuls,” Dalton says, teasing. They both laugh hysterically.
I ask the boys about their love lives, and they tell me to chill. “Mom, you know there is no one worthy of either of us…not in your eyes anyway!”
“Right you are!” I agree.
We hear the call for Lainey and Kellan’s flight and hurry over to their terminal. We see them and all run over to them screaming.
“Mommmmaaa!” Lainey screams. This is total bliss for me. Ash is smiling, and I am so happy. Despite all that is going on in my life right now, having my kids here is just what I needed. Ash puts his hand in the small of my back and I look up at him and give him two fingers on my lip as a sign of appreciation. He whispers in my ear “You are the epitome of beautiful…you make me so happy!”
As the kids run to greet each other, I give him a kiss on the cheek “Thank you, Ash, I couldn’t do this without you. You do know that, don’t you?”
“Nuff said Liv!”
Ash and I drove both cars to the ai
rport. Ash and the boys are in the Mercedes, and I’m in the Range Rover with Lainey and Kellan.
“Nice ride Mom!” Kellan says.
“It is Ash’s second car. He lets me drive it.”
We head to their hotel to drop off their things, and then head to the house for dinner.
“Thanks for arranging everything, Mom“ Lainey says. “What would we do without you?”
Lainey is totally impressed when we pull into Ash’s driveway. “Mom—this is beautiful! Mr. Harper lives here all alone?”
I explain that he’s a widower, and that his boys are all grown and gone.
“Love that the two adjoining lots aren’t built on.”
I explain how Ash and Anne bought the adjoining lots to avoid building next to them.
As we enter the front door, I see a potted ‘mum and a basket of goodies.
“It’s from Reba, I bet,” Ash says. I open the card, and indeed it is. It says, “I am off to Atlanta to spend the holidays with my kids, but I wanted to express my appreciation to Mr. Harper and Miss Olivia. The cookies are for my boys. Happy Thanksgiving! With love, Reba”
I take the goodies inside. Tommy is thrilled.
“Damn! Reba’s chocolate chip cookies…she friggin’ rocks!” He tells us how Reba was always there for them. “She rode our asses hard to keep our grades up, but she always made us her famous chocolate chip cookies and had a cold glass of milk when we got home from school. I love her so much!”
I open the basket; inside are the cookies and a sweet potato pie. Todd moves over to take a cookie, and Tommy defends the plate. “Oh, no you don’t…these are mine!”
Everyone is at the house for dinner—my kids, Tommy, and all of his band members as well. It makes sense, since they are playing in town on Friday night. Tommy and his band have unpacked their van and take their instruments up to the music room.
Out of The Box Awakening Page 9
