“Gonna give us a concert later?” I ask
“We need to practice,” Tommy says, “but if you’re up for listening, we are up for a private show. Hell-yeah!”
We have a wonderful, easy dinner: wings, fries, and beer. My kids are so excited, and are enjoying talking with Tommy and his band. The whole band has come—Tommy, Brian, Steve, Todd, and Brady are all here. Everyone is getting along, and Ash takes my hand and reassures me.
“Liv, I just want this to be the best Thanksgiving for you! I know you have worked so hard and it means so much that you’ve successfully brought all of us together. I just wish Wesley and Hayden could be here.”
After dinner, Tommy and the band head up to the music room to practice. We give them time to get set up, then we all follow up to enjoy some music. Tommy tells us that they are working on a special “acoustic, unplugged” session that they plan to record. They play some of their own songs, and then start to play some Bruce Springsteen easy-listening songs. Tommy sings, “I’m on Fire” in his sexy, raspy voice.
The kids are amazed at how incredibly talented they all are. Tommy signals for Ash to grab a guitar and join them. There are two stools in front of the microphones.
“Come on, Dad—get your ass up here and jam with us!”
Ash gets up and grabs a Chicago Cubs baseball cap off the bookshelf—it looks like that’s where it lives. He puts the cap on so it’s turned around backwards, and says, “Okay but you’ll be sorry! Just warning you.”
They begin. Stairway to Heaven. Oh my God! I haven’t heard that song in forever. Boy, does this song bring back memories.
Ash is the first to begin playing, and we are all stunned into silence. No one smiles, no one laughs or speaks. We all just sit in awe. Lainey and I are on the couch, and she scoots over close to me and puts her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her. My boys and Kellan are sitting on the floor in equal amazement. The absolute best song of all times is being played for us in front of our very eyes. There are just no words to explain how beautiful this moment is. Reverent and respectful.
By the look on their faces, I sense that this song has a very special, emotional meaning for both Ash and Tommy. It looks like they’ve played this song together many times. The rest of the band is serious as well, each concentrating on their own instruments as they join the playing, which tells me the song has hidden meanings for them too.
When it’s time to sing, Ash looks over at Tommy and nods his head. Tommy is sitting on the stool beside Ash, with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He sings with his eyes closed, looking like he’s in pain through almost the whole song. As I listen to the words, I wonder if it’s Anne he’s thinking of when he’s singing. When the song is over, we all sit there, not knowing what to do. No one says a word.
At last, Lainey breaks the ice. “Dear God! That was beautiful, just beautiful, guys!”
They sing more songs, without Ash, who comes to sit by me on the couch. I whisper in his ear, “That was the most beautiful song, Ash. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.”
I can tell that “Stairway” does have special meaning; his remark, whispered back in my ear is, “Been a long, long time, Olivia…Tommy and I needed that. Geez!” He then kisses my ear. I hope no one saw that. Well, I wish they did see it—but just not yet.
Meanwhile Todd is gyrating and singing to Lainey, and she loves it! He stops singing and looks at me…
“Dammit, Olivia! Too bad your daughter’s got an old man! She could so fucking be the mother of my children! She is flippin’-ass hot!”
Kellan laughs and says that he is set on making her the mother of his children. Todd shrugs his shoulders and gives Kellan the thumbs up. Ash seems so at peace, seeing me happy. I feel incredibly happy, like a teenager with a secret boyfriend, having to keep my feelings hidden. Ash gets back up again. He and the band play some Beatles songs, which takes me way, way back into the ‘70s. Finally, Todd announces, in Todd fashion, that they’re tired, and asks which girl wants to go home with him. These amazing band members, full of tattoos and as brash as they come, are actually such neat, incredibly talented guys.
As the session ends, Ash asks me, “Well, what do you think? My boy and his band are pretty good, huh?”
“Your boy, his band, and you are pretty damn good!”
I can tell that everyone is pretty tired, so I casually suggest that the kids head back to the hotel. Ash tells them to take the Range Rover, so they can come back tomorrow when they’re ready.
“Sweet! Thanks Mr. Harper!”
We say our goodbyes, do hugs and kisses, and I can’t wait for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, though I dread the subject of Alan and why he’s not here. I know it will come up. We’ve never had a Thanksgiving without Alan. I don’t want the kids to know anything about what has happened between us—not yet anyway. Dear God, just get me through the holidays and I’ll deal with that later.
Tommy and the guys come down after my kids leave. They head outside to have a few beers out on the patio. Todd follows me into the kitchen.
“I’ll be happy to help you clean up if you want me to, Olivia.”
“No, absolutely not, Todd! Go out and drink with the guys. Do you want a beer?”
“Is the pope Catholic? Hell-yeah!”
I get him a beer and we talk about the band and how everyone met.
“We’ve pretty much all been friends since high school, except for Brian.” Todd tells me that his folks were killed in a car wreck three years ago, and how the band has helped him cope and were there for him in very bad times.
“Yeah, Tommy is probably the best friend I’ve ever had. He was going through tough times after his mom died, so we bonded. I know that sounds really gay, but Tommy is a standup guy. I was an only child, so when my folks were killed, I was pretty torn up. I was really close to them both, and I regret like hell that I didn’t make more time for them. I still have Grammy—my grandmother— though. She lives close, and I always make time to take her to dinner. She loves Chinese food, so I take her out to eat at least once a month. When my folks died, Tommy was tight. He stepped in and helped me so frickin’ much. I owe him my life. I’d have drowned myself in alcohol if it hadn’t been for Tommy. He was at the hospital as soon as I called him, and didn’t leave me until after the funeral. Guess he went through all that shit with his mom, so he felt what I was feeling.”
I tell him that best friends are what get you through tough times.
“Yeah, Tommy is my man-friend forever, I guess! Not to change the subject, but Mr. Harper seems to be really into you…sorry to be so blunt, but he looks like he is ready to jump your bones, woman.”
“I never know when to take you seriously, Todd, but I am going to just think you just gave me a compliment!”
He assures me that it was a compliment. “Olivia, all kidding aside, and don’t take this wrong, but you are a really pretty lady, and I know Mr. Harper is a decent looking guy. You guys seem to really like each other. I’m just sayin’”
“Well, Todd, thank you for ‘just sayin’ and for hanging with the old folks tonight. I love talking with you and I will never let any of the girls know what a girly guy you are. I promise!”
I stay in the kitchen, preparing the turkey and dressing for dinner for tomorrow. Todd stays with me and keeps me company and amuses me. I can’t believe he is so chatty with me.
He comments again, “Mr. Harper is a great guy isn’t he”?
He sure is talking a lot about Ash. I sense that he suspects something is going on—intuitive as he is. I tell him that Ash has been the perfect gentleman and that he’s helping me through some tough times I am going through. I can tell that he doesn’t want to be nosy, but he encourages me to tell him more about what’s going on. I tell him little bits about what is going on in my life and ask him if he will keep this confidential. “I have no idea why I am even discussing my private life with you, Todd. Maybe because I’ve had a few too many glasses of wine, and besides, you’
re really easy to talk to.”
“Olivia, I can’t believe any guy would give you up. He must be fuckin’ out of his mind! Anyways, your secret is safe with me, but I know Mr. H will be there for you. I can tell that he is totally into you and he fuckin’ wants you bad! You see it, don’t you?”
I blush and have to laugh. I tell him that I kinda feel it too, but can’t tell my kids just yet.
“Look, Olivia...Shit happens. I don’t know why, but it just does. God knows, I’ve had my share of bad shit happen in my life too, so don’t feel like the Lone Ranger. Good shit, on the other hand has a way of making its way into your life and of making you happy…that’s the only way I can explain it.” He pats me on the back and ruffles my hair. “You’ll be fine, Olivia.”
I ask if there is anyone special in his life. He tells me that he hasn’t found the right girl yet. “I keep having one night stands, the girls are pretty plentiful, and they are always throwing themselves at guys like us. No commitment, and that’s just fine with me. It was fuckin’ heaven at first. You know, pussy just thrown in your face, literally. Oh, sorry, sometimes my mouth isn’t too proper but you know what I mean—you know where I’m goin’. It gets old, going from girl to girl, fuckin’ everything you can find. But that isn’t me really. I guess you’ve that figured out, huh?”
I tell him that a mother’s intuition tells me that he is a great guy and that I can see through the front he puts on. Todd tells me that Tommy has even more relationship issues than he has.
“Tommy has major issues with women, more than I have. Big-time issues with commitment, and he won’t trust anyone. Chicks flock to him, hell, you’ve seen him—he’s a hot-looking dude. But he won’t even sleep with them. Not even a damn blowjob! Geez! I think he has major guilt issues, because of his mom.”
I ask Todd what he means by that.
“His mom was a fuckin’ piece of work, man. She wasn’t into his scene. Never once came to watch us play. Not once. Nada! She thought our lifestyle was beneath her. If she knew about Tommy’s tattoos, she would have blown! Mr. Harper—Ash—he always supported us. He always came to watch us play, but Tommy always wanted his mom’s approval. His brothers were always the prodigal sons in the family. They could do no wrong. I think he’s really fucked up because of that. You know, something bad happened between them when Mrs. Harper died. Tommy won’t talk about it, so I’m not sure what went down, but I think it was pretty bad. Listen; don’t let him know that I told you that. He would kick my ass if he knew I was gettin’ all girly on you!”
I tell Todd that his secret is safe with me and that we each have a secret to keep. We bump knuckles in solidarity. I feel confident Todd won’t say anything to Tommy…at least I hope not. I can’t believe I have just bared my soul to a crude, rude, tattooed dude. God help me!
Speaking of tattoos…. I ask Todd about his. Each of his arms is adorned with colorful creations.
“One of my arms is dedicated to my dad, the other to my mom. It took almost a year, and I had a great artist.”
I ask him if I can see his whole arm, and he pushes his sleeves up so I can see. I touch the tattoos. Both of his arms are full of colorful beautiful artwork.
“This is absolutely beautiful! It’s a fine tribute, Todd.”
“You got any tattoos?”
“Oh, heavens, no. My kids weren’t into that, and I am way too old for tattoos. Lainey got her navel pierced before college, but had the navel ring taken out. She said it creeped her out when the top of her jeans touched it.”
“So what would you like?”
“You mean if I was to get a tattoo? Well, I love butterflies, because they are beautiful and free, so I guess I’d get a butterfly.”
“Then, you should get a butterfly somewhere on your body. It doesn’t hurt, really. If you ever decide to do it, I can recommend a great guy in the city who did mine. You should so do it! Put it somewhere secret if you don’t want it on display.”
I tell him that I am way too chicken to do it.
“A butterfly on your hip would be really cool. No one but your special man would see it. Pretty sexy! Just sayin’... I’ll tell you what; I’ll go with you if you ever decide to do it. Seriously, you should at least think about it. Ever been to a tattoo parlor?”
“Oh my God, no!”
“You should let Tommy and me take you some time, just to check it out, so you can say you’ve been to one...” He laughs, eyes bright with mischief.
I smile back, amused. “Well, I just may do it. My kids will freak!”
“But Mr. H. would bust a nut—and in a good way,” he says, laughing again. “Anyway, your kids don’t have to know if you put it on your ass. Who will see it but who you want to see it? Am I right? Yes? Ha! You know I am!”
Hmmmm, something to think about…. “Well, if I decide to do it, you will be the first to know, and if I do, you can take me!”
“Okay. You remember you said that, you have a deal, Olivia!”
Todd wanders outside to hang with the guys again. They all get along so well. It makes me happy to see everyone having a great time.
Around midnight, after many beers and much conversation, the boys all head up to their respective rooms. Tommy and Todd are sleeping in Tommy’s room, and the rest of the guys will sleep in the maid’s quarters above the garage. I sense they have all spent the night here before, because they all seem to just naturally head out to where they will be sleeping.
Ash and I are alone in the kitchen, at last. He picks me up, gives me a big hug and kisses me. He comes over to help me peel the eggs, while I am making deviled eggs.
“Olivia, you can devil my eggs any time!”
“Ash, just get to peeling and we will see about deviling your eggs later!”
“Finally, alone. It’s really hard to hide how I feel about you around the kids. You do know that I can’t take my eyes off of you? I’m trying really hard.”
“Me too! I don’t know how tomorrow is going to go. I know my kids are going to want to call Alan. I just hope he won’t let on that anything is wrong…not yet anyway. I just want everyone to have a nice day.”
He doesn’t want to talk about Alan. Changing the subject, Ash says, “Sleep with me tonight Olivia.”
“Ash, do you really think that’s a good idea? What if Tommy comes into your room for something and sees me?”
“Honey, that’s what locks are for. Besides, they won’t even be up until long after we’ve had our coffee. You can count on that. No sex or fooling around. Don’t get the wrong idea, that’s not where I’m going with this. I just want to be near you, to hold you and feel you. Listen, Olivia, I’ll be honest; I was attracted to you the very first time I saw you at the airport. When Alan called and said he was delayed and asked me to pick you up, at first I was really put out. I guess I thought I’d be picking up the frumpy, nagging, complaining wife of a friend.”
I slap him on the arm. “Gee, thanks! Is that what you think about me?”
“Oh, hell, no! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, once I saw you walk into the lobby of the airport, my heart ignited. Damn! You looked so freaking hot in your little skinny jeans. When I held up my sign with your name on it, I could tell you were pissed as hell Alan wasn’t there to get you. All that fire—it really turned me on. Wow!” His mood shifts from passion to earnest conviction. “If things hadn’t gone the way they did with Alan, I never would have let you know that. Not ever. I totally respect the sanctity of marriage. I would never have so much as touched you. You believe me, don’t you?”
“Oh, Ash, I am just so confused. When I saw you holding up your little sign, my heart skipped a beat too. I thought you were the best-looking man I had seen in a long time. Riding back to your house from the airport, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world—and I felt guilty for feeling that way. You made me feel like I was special. It was so sweet of you to have gotten me a coffee. That was just the perfect touch! I’ll admit, I feel guilty for having feelings for
you. I’m a married woman with grown children, for God’s sake. Well, maybe not married for long, but you know what I mean. I am so out of touch with my feelings, that I don’t even know anymore what is right or wrong. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do about you? “
“Honey, do you believe in love at first sight? It does happen, you know. It happened to my folks, and my mother always told me that it does exist and it is real. It has happened—to me. I am falling deeper and deeper in love with you each day. I know it’s only been a few months, but I’m caught: hook, line and sinker! You’ve got me, Olivia Petersen! Look, I don’t know what will happen between you and Alan. For all I know, you two could work things out and live happily ever after. It’d kill me, but it can happen, and I know that. I just know that I haven’t felt happiness and an attraction to any woman like this in a very, very long time.”
“Ash, I can tolerate lots of things, but lying and cheating are unforgivable. I won’t go back to that ever. Truth be known, this is probably not the first time Alan has cheated. Regardless of what happens between you and me, I will never go back to Alan, and I mean that. Thank God the kids are grown, because I can’t even imagine having to raise three kids by myself. I don’t know how moms do it.”
“Well, my sweet Olivia, let’s go to bed. We won’t think about problems anymore, tonight. Let’s just get some shut-eye and let me hold you.”
We sleep wrapped in each other’s arms. He sleeps bare except for boxers; I just wear a pair of tap shorts and a camisole. His skin feels so good next to mine. I am beginning to think that this is where I will be sleeping from now on.
The next morning, my cell phone rings. I look at the caller ID; it is Alan. Shit! I panic. I don’t answer and he leaves a voice message.
“Olivia. I just wanted to let you know I’ll call the kids later and wish them all Happy Thanksgiving. I know they came in for the holiday. I promise I won’t let them know what is going on. Maybe one day next week you and I can talk and we can sort things out. I’m so sorry Liv, really sorry. I truly didn’t mean to hurt you. I won’t offer any excuses, but I don’t want to put you through any more hurt than I already have. Well, I guess…well… that’s about all I have to say. If you want, you can call me back when you can talk, but if you don’t I understand. I hope you have a nice day. Well…umm, okay. Bye, now.”
Out of The Box Awakening Page 10
