The Time of the Hero

by Mario Vargas Llosa

  But that movie deal was better than the chicken or the midget. Stop that, Skimpy, stop biting me. A lot better. And that was when we were in the Fourth Year, and even though it’d been a year since Gamboa broke up the big Circle, the Jaguar went on saying, “They’ll all join up again someday and we four’ll be the bosses.” And it was even better than before, because when we were Dogs the Circle was only one section and this time it was as if the whole Year was in the Circle and we were the ones who were really running things, the Jaguar more than the rest of us. And then there was the time the Dog broke his finger and you could see the whole section was with us and backed us up. “Climb up the ladder, Dog,” Curly said, “and make it snappy or I might get mad.” How the Dog stared at us! “High places make me dizzy, Cadets.” The Jaguar started laughing and Cava got mad. “Do you know who you’re making fun of, Dog?” So he climbed up, but he must’ve been really scared. “Keep on, keep on, sonny,” Curly told him. “And now sing,” the Jaguar said, “but like a real singer, using your hands.” He was hanging on like a monkey and the foot of the ladder rattled against the tiles. “But what if I fall, Cadets?” “So you fall,” I told him. He straightened up, still shaking, and began to sing. “He’ll crack his skull any minute now,” Cava said, and the Jaguar was doubled up with laughter. But it wasn’t much of a fall, I’ve jumped from higher places out in the field. Why did he have to grab at the washstand? “I think he’s torn his finger off,” the Jaguar said when he saw how the Dog’s hand was streaming blood. “You’re all confined to the grounds for a month or more,” the captain said, “until the guilty parties step forward.” The section didn’t squeal and the Jaguar asked them, “Why don’t you come back into the Circle if you’re all such he-men?” The Dogs were all gutless, that was the trouble with them. Our battles with the Fifth were better than the initiations, even when I’m dead I won’t forget that year, most of all what happened in the movies. The Jaguar set it up. He was right beside me and they almost broke my back. The Dogs were lucky, we hardly touched them that time, we were too busy with the guys from the Fifth. They say that revenge is sweet, and that’s right, I’ve never enjoyed anything so much as that day in the stadium when I came face to face with one of the bastards that initiated me when I was a Dog. They almost expelled us, but it was worth it. That business between the Fourth and the Third, that’s just a game, the real deal is between the Fourth and the Fifth. Who could forget the initiation they gave us? And that business of getting in between the Fifth and the Dogs in the movies, that was done on purpose, to get something started. The Jaguar also dreamed up that trick about our caps. When you saw somebody from the Fifth coming along, you let him get near you and when he was a yard away you’d raise your hand as if you were going to salute him, so he’d salute you and you’d just take off your cap. “Are you trying to make a fool out of me?” “No, Cadet, I’m just scratching my head, I’ve got an awful case of dandruff.” It was a real war, you could tell that very clearly from the rope deal and from what happened in the movies. It was during the winter but it was hot in there, we almost smothered under that tin roof with over a thousand guys crammed together. I didn’t see his face when we went in, I just heard his voice, but I bet he was a peasant. “What a mob,” the Jaguar said, “my ass is too big for the space.” He was at the end of the row and the Poet was dunning somebody: “Look, do you think I work for nothing, or just because you’re so pretty?” It was dark by then and somebody told him, “Shut up or we’ll shut you up.” I’m pretty sure the Jaguar didn’t put the bricks on his seat just so he’d block the view, he wanted to see better. I was bending over to light a match and when I heard the guy from the Fifth I dropped my cigarette and got down on my hands and knees to look for it and that’s when it all started happening. “Look, Cadet, clear those bricks off your seat, I want to see the picture.” “Are you speaking to me, Cadet?” I asked him. “No, the one next to you.” “You mean me?” the Jaguar asked. “Who do you think I mean?” “Will you please shut your big mouth,” the Jaguar said, “and let me watch these cowboys?” “You’re not going to get rid of those bricks?” “I guess not,” the Jaguar said. Then I got back in my seat without looking for the cigarette any more, I couldn’t find it. Things were getting started now, so I tightened my belt a little. “You aren’t going to obey me?” the cadet from the Fifth asked him. “No,” the Jaguar said, “why should I?” He was having a good time baiting him. Then the ones in back started to whistle. The Poet began singing Ay, ay, ay and the rest of the section joined in. “Are you trying to make fun of me?” the guy from the Fifth demanded. “It looks that way, Cadet,” the Jaguar said. It was going to take place in the dark, it was really going to be something to talk about, in the dark and right in the Assembly Hall, something that’d never happened before. The Jaguar said later that he was the first one, but I saw what really happened, it was the other one or else a friend of his that stuck his oar in. And he must’ve been furious, he piled on the Jaguar without any warning and my ears hurt the way they were shouting. Everybody stood up and I saw some shadows on top of me and they started kicking me. I don’t remember anything about the movie, it’d just begun. And what about the Poet, were they really beating him up or was he just shouting like that so they’d think he was a lunatic? And you could also hear Lt. Huarina shouting, “Lights, Sergeant, lights, are you deaf?” Then the Dogs started shouting, “Lights, lights!” without knowing what was going on, and they said the other two Years’ll jump on us while the lights are out. The air was full of cigarettes, everybody wanted to get rid of them, we didn’t want to get caught smoking, it’s a miracle there wasn’t a fire. What a chance, come on, gang, let’em have it, this is where we get our revenge. I don’t know how the Jaguar got out of it alive. The shadows kept circling around me and my hands hurt me and so did my feet from all that fighting, I know I must’ve hit some of the guys from the Fourth also but how could you tell what you were doing in the darkness? “Sgt. Varúa, what’s the matter with those goddamn lights,” Huarina bellowed, “can’t you tell these animals are killing each other?” There were fights everywhere, that’s the honest truth, it’s just lucky no one was really hurt. And when they turned the lights on, all you could hear were the whistles. Huarina wasn’t in sight, but the lieutenants and noncoms of the Fifth and Third were shouting at us. “Clear the way, damn it, clear the way!” What a laugh, nobody’d let them through, and the bastards got mad and started swinging at anybody, I’ll never forget how the Rat, that Pezoa, hit me so hard in the belly I couldn’t breathe. Then I started looking around for the Jaguar, I told myself if they’ve beat him up they’ll have to answer to me, but there he was, as fresh as a daisy, slugging away and dying of laughter, he had more lives than a cat. And afterward, what a lot of faking, everybody sticks together when it comes to screwing the officers and the noncoms, nothing’s been going on, we’re all buddies, I don’t know a thing about it, and it was the same way with the Fifth, you’ve got to be fair to them about that. Finally they got the Dogs out, they were all scared to death, and then the Fifth. So then we were the only ones in the Assembly Hall and we started singing Ay, ay, ay. “I think I made him eat a couple of those bricks he was bitching about,” the Jaguar said. And they all started saying, “The Fifth is really pissed off, we made fools out of them in front of the Dogs, they’ll attack the Fourth tonight.” The officers were running around like mice, asking us, “How did this mess begin? Start talking or you’ll go to the guardhouse.” We didn’t even listen to them. They’re going to come, they’re going to come, we can’t let them surprise us in the barracks, we’ll go out and wait for them in the field. The Jaguar was on top of a locker and we all listened to him the way we used to when we were Dogs and the Circle met in the latrine to plan our revenge. We’ve got to defend ourselves, a man who’s prepared is worth two that aren’t, you guards go out to the parade ground and keep watch. The minute you see them coming, shout for us to come out. Get some things to throw, roll up some toilet paper a
nd squeeze it in your hand, that way your punches’ll have a kick like a mule, fasten razor blades on the tips of your boots like the spurs on the gamecocks at the Coliseum, fill your pockets with stones, don’t forget to wear jockstraps, a man has to watch out for his balls more than his soul. Everybody obeyed him and Curly jumped up and down on the beds, it was like the Circle again except the whole Year was in on it, listen, they’re getting ready in all the other barracks too.

  The house on the corner of Diego Ferré and Ocharán was fronted on both streets by a white wall about three feet high and thirty feet long. There was a lamppost at the edge of the sidewalk near the corner, and the post and the wall served as the goal for one of the teams, the team that won the toss. The losers had to make a goal fifty yards back on Ocharán by putting a rock or a pile of jackets at the edge of the sidewalk. But although the goals were only as wide as the sidewalk, the playing field included the whole street. The game they played was soccer. They wore sneakers, just as they did on the field at the Terraza Club, and they made sure the ball was not fully inflated, to prevent it from bouncing too high. For the most part they kept the ball on the ground, making very short passes and trying for goals from close up, without kicking hard. They marked the bounds with a piece of chalk but after a few minutes their sneakers and the ball erased the lines and there were hot arguments to decide whether a goal was legal. The game took place in an atmosphere of vigilance and dread. No matter how careful they were, there would always be the time when Pluto or one of the others would forget himself and kick the ball too hard or hit it with his head. It would fly over the wall of one of the houses along the playing field, land in the garden and squash the geraniums, and if it had real force behind it it would bang against a door or a window, that was the worst because it rattled the door or broke the windowpane, and when that happened the players gave the ball up for lost and shouted a warning and ran away. As they ran, Pluto would keep yelling, “They’re after us, they’re coming after us!” No one would turn his head to see if it was true, they would all run faster, shouting, “Hurry up, they’re after us, they’ve called the cops!” That was the moment when Alberto, who was out in front, gasped, “The cliff, let’s go down the cliff!” And they all followed him, saying, “Good, the cliff!” He could hear the labored breathing of his friends: Pluto’s, irregular and animal-like; Tico’s, short and steady; Babe’s, farther and farther away because he was the slowest; Emilio’s, the calm breathing of an athlete who measured his strength scientifically, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth; and next to him, Paco’s and Sorbino’s, and that of the rest, a muffled sound that surrounded him and encouraged him to run faster down the second block of Diego Ferré to the corner of Colón and then to the right, keeping close to the wall to save distance on the turn. After that it was easier because Colón was downhill and the red bricks of the Malecón were only half a block away, and beyond them, merging with the horizon, the gray ocean whose shore they would soon reach. The other boys in the neighborhood always made fun of Alberto because whenever they were lying around on the small lawn at Pluto’s house, discussing plans, Alberto always said, “Let’s go down the cliff.” Those trips were long and difficult. They crossed the brick wall at the end of Colón, then stood on a little jut of land while they figured out a way down, studying the steep drop with skilled and serious eyes, debating the best route, searching out the obstacles between their perch and the stony beach. Alberto was the most eager strategist. Without taking his eyes from the cliffside he described the route he favored in quick, short phrases, imitating the speech and gestures of a movie hero: “First, that rock down there, the one with the feathers on it, it’s good and solid, then you’ve only got to jump about three feet, see there, then you go down along those black rocks, they’re all flat, after that it’s easier, you can slide all the way down the other side, and it’ll take us to a beach we’ve never been on.” If anyone objected—Emilio, for example, who liked to be the leader—Alberto defended his ideas passionately, and the group took sides. Their excited arguments warmed the damp mornings in Miraflores. Behind them, an uninterrupted line of cars passed along the Malecón. Sometimes a passenger thrust his head out of a window, and if it happened to be a boy their eyes were filled with envy. Alberto’s point of view usually won out, because he fought so hard and so stubbornly in these arguments that the others became bored. They went down the cliff very cautiously, forgetting all about the disagreement, joined in a complete friendship that showed in their looks, their smiles, the words of encouragement they exchanged. Every time one of them got around an obstacle or made a dangerous leap, the others cheered him. Time went by slowly, full of tension. The closer they came to their objective, the more daring they became. They could hear, close to them now, that strange noise which reached their beds at night in Miraflores, and which here was a deafening roar of stones and water; they could smell the salt and clean sea shells; and then they were on the beach, a tiny fan between the cliff and the water’s edge, where they all dropped in a heap, joking, kidding about the dangers of the descent, pretending to shove each other, keeping up a great racket. If the morning was not too cold, or if it was one of those afternoons when a lukewarm sun came out unexpectedly in the ashen sky, Alberto took off his shoes and socks, rolled up his pants above his knees, and jumped into the surf, while the others cheered him on with their shouts. He felt the cold water on his legs and the polished stones under his feet, and from there, holding up his pants-legs with one hand, he splashed his friends with the other. They ducked behind each other, then took off their socks and shoes and went out to drench him, and the grand battle began. Later, soaked to the skin, they returned to the beach, stretched out on the stones, and argued about the climb back up. It was difficult and exhausting. When they got back to the neighborhood they sprawled out on the lawn at Pluto’s house, smoking the Viceroys they had bought at the corner store along with some peppermints to hide the smell of tobacco on their breath.

  Sometimes, instead of playing soccer, or climbing down to the beach, or racing around the block on their bicycles, they went to see a movie. If it was Saturday they all went together to the matinee at the Excelsior or the Ricardo Palma, usually getting balcony seats. They sat in the front row, made lots of noise, threw lighted matches down on the people below, and argued about the scenes in the picture at the top of their voices. Sunday was different. In the morning they had to go to Mass at the Champagnat Academy in Miraflores; only Emilio and Alberto studied in Lima. They usually got together at ten in the morning in the main park, still dressed in their uniforms, and sat on the benches watching the people going into the church or starting arguments with boys from other neighborhoods. In the afternoon they went to the movies, this time downstairs, well-dressed, their hair combed, all of them half-suffocated by the ties and starched collars their parents made them wear. Some of them had to chaperon their sisters; the others followed them down Larco Avenue, calling them nursemaids and fairies. The girls in the neighborhood, who were as numerous as the boys, also formed a tightly-knit group that was bitterly hostile toward the boys. When the boys were together and spotted one of the girls, they ran up and surrounded her and pulled her hair till she cried, jeering at her brother when he complained, “She’ll tell my old man and he’ll punish me for not defending her.” On the other hand, when one of the boys showed up alone, the girls stuck their tongues out at him and called him all sorts of names, and he had to put up with their insults, red-faced with embarrassment but keeping the same pace to show them he was not a coward who was afraid of mere women.

  But they didn’t come, it was the officers’ fault, it must’ve been. We thought it was them and we jumped out of bed but the guards stopped us. “Quiet, it’s the soldiers.” They’d got the peasants up at midnight and they had them out on the parade grounds, armed to the teeth as if they were going into battle, and the lieutenants and noncoms were there too, it’s a cinch they knew something was up. But they would’ve liked to come
, we found out later they spent the night getting ready, they even made slings and ammonia bombs. How we yelled Motherfuckers! at the soldiers, they were furious and they pointed their bayonets at us. He’ll never forget that deal, they say the colonel almost hit him, maybe he did hit him, “Huarina, you’re a mess,” we ruined him in front of the Minister, in front of the Ambassadors, they say he practically bawled. Everything would’ve ended like that if it hadn’t been for the fiesta the next day, well done Colonel, what’s this about exhibiting us like monkeys, armed drill in front of the archbishop and a lunch for everyone together, gymnastics and field events in front of the ministers and generals and a lunch for everyone together, a full-dress parade and speeches, and a lunch for everyone together in front of the ambassadors, well done, well done. We all knew something was going to happen, it was in the air, the Jaguar said, “We’ve got to win all the events in the stadium, we can’t lose a single one, we’ve got to make a clean sweep, in the sack race, the foot races, everything.” But there was hardly anything, it began with the tug of war, my arms still ache from pulling so hard, how they shouted, “Come on, Boa,” “Harder, Boa,” “Harder, harder,” “Hooray, hooray.” And in the morning, before breakfast, they came over to Urioste and the Jaguar and me and told us, “Pull till it kills you but don’t give ground, do it for the section.” The only one who didn’t get wind of it was Huarina, the horse’s ass. But the Rat could smell it, be careful you don’t try any funny business in front of the colonel, and don’t laugh in my face, I may be a little shrimp but I’ve won so many championships at Judo I can’t keep track of them. Keep still, you bitch, stop biting me, Skimpy. And the place was crowded, you couldn’t make out Gen. Mendoza among all those uniforms.ost medals, and I’ll die laughing if I remember the mike, the worst possible luck, what a kick we got out of it, I’m going to piss if I laugh any more, I’m going to split my guts if I keep remembering that mike. Who’d’ve thought it’d be so serious, but look at how the Fifth is, they’re giving us dirty looks, they’re moving their lips to tell us we’re all motherfuckers. So we began telling them the same thing, easy, slower, Skimpy. Ready, Cadets? Pay attention to the whistle. “Armed drill without spoken commands,” the mike said, “changes of step and direction, forward march.” And then the gymnasts, I hope you’ve had a good bath, you cruddy bastards. One two three, step lively and salute. That midget is a damned good gymnast, he hasn’t got hardly any muscles but he’s real clever. We didn’t see the colonel either but that didn’t matter, I know him by heart, why do you smear on so much hair oil, don’t talk to me about military bearing because I think about the colonel, if he loosens his belt his stomach plops to the ground and what a laugh, that face he puts on. I think the only things he likes are assemblies and parades, look at my boys, how trim they are, oompah, oompah, the circus will now begin, with my trained dogs, my trained fleas, my rope-walking elephants, oompah, oompah. If I had a squeaky voice like his I’d start chain-smoking to get hoarse, it isn’t a military voice. I’ve never seen him in the field, I can’t imagine him in a trench, but yes, sir, more and more shows, that third rank is crooked, Cadet, pay attention, officers, they’re getting out of step, martial bearing and deportment, what a horse’s ass, what a face he made about that rope business. They say the minister was sweating and he said to the colonel, “Have those sons of bitches gone crazy or what?” There we were, face to face, the Fifth and the Fourth, on opposite sides of the soccer field. How excited they were, they squirmed in their seats like snakes, with the Dogs on the other side, watching without understanding a thing, just wait a minute and you’re going to see something good. Huarina walked back and forth near us and said, “Do you think you can?” “You can confine me to the grounds for a year if we don’t win,” the Jaguar told him, but I wasn’t so sure, they had some big brutes, Gambarina, Risueño, Carnero, real big brutes. My arms ached even before, just from my nerves. “Put the Jaguar in front,” they shouted from the stands, and “Boa, we’re counting on you.” The guys in the section started singing Ay, ay, ay and Huarina laughed until he realized it was to razz the Fifth and he began to tear his hair, what are you doing, you animals, there’s General Mendoza up there, and the ambassador, and the colonel, what are you doing, and the tears ran out of his eyes. I have to laugh when I remember how the colonel said, “You mustn’t believe that tug of war is simply a matter of muscles, it’s also a matter of skill and intelligence, of cooperation, it isn’t easy to coordinate your efforts,” that just kills me. The fellows applauded us the way I’ve never heard them, anybody with any heart in him got all excited. The Fifth were already on the field in their black gym suits and they got applauded too. One of the lieutenants marked the line and you’d’ve thought we’d already started, the way the cheering-section screamed: “Fourth! Fourth!” and “Here’s a cheer for the old Fourth Year!” “What are you shouting for,” the Jaguar asked me, “don’t you know it’ll tire you out?” But it was all so exciting. “This is the day, hooray, we’re on our way, hoorah, so here’s a cheer for the old Fourth Year, rah, rah, rah!” “Okay,” Huarina said, “let’s go. Put everything you’ve got into it, make a good name for the Year.” And he didn’t even suspect what was coming. Run, guys, the Jaguar out front, let’s go, let’s go, Urioste, let’s go, let’s go, Boa, come on, come on, Torres, beat’em, beat’em, Riofrío, Pestana, Cuevas, Zapata, let’s go, let’s go, we’ll die before we give up an inch. Run with your mouths closed, we’re near the stands, let’s see if we can see General Mendoza, don’t forget to raise your arms when Torres says three. There’s more people than it looked like, and all that brass, they must be the minister’s aides, I’d like to get a good look at the ambassadors, how they’re applauding and we haven’t even started. That’s it, now a half turn, the lieutenant must have the rope ready, I hope to God he’s tied the knots right, look at the dirty looks the Fifth are giving us, don’t scare me, I’m shaking already, halt. “Hooray, hoorah!” And then Gambarina came up a little closer, without paying any attention to the lieutenant who was straightening out the rope and counting the knots, and said, “You wise guys think you’re going to show us up. Just watch out or you’ll end up without any balls.” “And how is your mother these days?” the Jaguar asked him. “I’ll talk to you later,” Gambarina said. “Stop horsing around,” the lieutenant said, “team captains come forward, line up, start tugging when the whistle blows, the minute anybody crosses the line I’ll blow it again and you stop. The first side that wins twice is the winner. And don’t start squawking afterward, I never play favorites.” Calisthenics, calisthenics, jump, keep your mouth closed, Jesus Christ how the cheering-section’s yelling Boa, Boa, even louder than Jaguar or else I’m crazy, what are they waiting for, blow that whistle. “Ready, guys,” the Jaguar said, “give it everything you’ve got.” Then Gambarina let go of the rope and shook his fist at us, they were all worked up as if they were sure they couldn’t lose. And what made us feel good was the way the rest of the Fourth cheered us, I could feel it in my arms and legs, come on, one, two, three, no, Jesus, oh Jesus, oh Jesus, four, five, the rope’s twisting like an eel, I knew the goddamned knots weren’t big enough, your hands keep, five, six, slipping, seven, fuck me if we aren’t beating them, the sweat’s blinding me, that’s the way real he-men sweat, nine, come on, come on, just a little more, come on, come on, the whistle, I’ll be fucked. The Fifth began shouting, “It was a trick, Lieutenant” and “We didn’t cross the line, Lieutenant.” Hooray, the guys from the Fourth are standing up cheering, they’ve taken their caps off, they’re waving them, are they shouting Boa, they’re singing, crying, screaming, long live Peru, death to the Fifth, don’t scowl like that or I’ll bust out laughing, hooray, hoorah. “Stop sniveling,” the lieutenant said. “One to nothing, favor of the Fourth. Get ready for the second one.” Come on, guys, what a cheering-section the Fourth has got, that’s the right way to cheer, I can see you, Cava, you peasant, and you, Curly, keep shouting, it’s good for our muscles, I’m sweating
like a horse, damn this rope, keep still, Skimpy, stop biting me. What happened was, our feet slipped on the grass, just like roller skates, I thought something would bust inside me, I could tell my veins were standing out, who’s letting up, don’t conk out on us, who the hell’s letting up, they grab the rope harder, they think about the Year, four, three, come on, what’s the matter with the cheering-section, damn that Jaguar, they’ve tied us. But they got more tired than we did, they dropped to their knees or flopped onto their backs, sweating and gasping for breath. “Tied one to one,” the lieutenant said. “And don’t flop around like that, you look like old ladies.” Then they began to insult us to make us afraid of them. “We’ll get you after it’s over.” “You’d better start praying because we’re going to screw you one and all.” “Shut your traps or we’ll take care of you right now.” So the lieutenant bawled them out: “Watch out what you’re saying, they can hear you in the stands, I’ll get even with you later.” Hooray! and how is your mother, we’re talking to you and no one else. This time the cheers were faster and louder, they yelled until they were red in the face. Fourth, Fourth, zoom, boom; hooray, hoorah! One more match and we’d make them eat the dust. “They’re going to jump us,” the Jaguar said, “they don’t care if the stands are packed full of generals, you watch. This is going to be something special. Didn’t you see the way Gambarina was looking at me?” The insults from the cheering-section were rolling across the field, Huarina was galloping back and forth, the colonel and the minister heard the whole thing, brigadiers were writing down four, five, ten names per section, one month two months confined to quarters. Come on, guys, bust your guts, we’ll show who’s who in the Leoncio Prado, we’ll show who’s got hair on their chests and balls like a bull, come on. We were all tugging when I saw that crowd coming, it was like a big black cloud with red dots, it came down from the stands where the Fifth was, a whole big crowd of them, “Here comes the Fifth,” the Jaguar shouted, “take care of yourselves,” then Gambarina let go of the rope and the others from the Fifth all stumbled and crossed the line, I shouted we won, the Jaguar and Gambarina were wrestling on the ground and Urioste and Zapata ran past me with their tongues hanging out, to slug the ones from the Fifth, the crowd got bigger and bigger, then Pallasta signaled to the stands where the Fourth was, come out here, can’t you see they’re after us, the lieutenant was trying to break up the fight between the Jaguar and Gambarina without seeing what was happening behind his back, “You bastards, the colonel’s watching you,” then another crowd came out, our own guys, the whole Fourth was like the Circle, where’s Cava that half-breed, good, here’s Curly, we’re all together again and this time we’re all bosses. And suddenly the squeaky voice of the colonel, you could hear it everywhere, officers, this is a disgrace, stop it at once, they’re disgracing the Academy, and then I recognized the son of a bitch that initiated me, those big dark lips, how nice to meet you, we’ve got some unfinished business, I wish my brother could’ve seen me, he always hated those peasants from the Andes, those big open lips, those big scared eyes, all of a sudden they started whipping us, the officers and noncoms took off their belts and they even tell me some of the officers that were just guests came down out of the stands and took off their belts, they had a lot of nerve because they didn’t belong to the Academy, I don’t think I got hit with the leather, I got hit with the buckle, that’s why my back hurts so much. “Obviously it was a plot, General, but I assure you they’ll be punished for it.” “Plot? Don’t be an ass. Just stop them fighting, if you can.” “Excuse me, Colonel, but you ought to turn off the microphone.” Whistles and whips, all those lieutenants and I didn’t see them, my shoulders were burning they whipped me so hard, the Jaguar and Gambarina were snarled up on the grass like a pair of spiders. But it turned out all right, Skimpy, stop biting me, you bitch. Then we lined up again and I felt hot and tired, I hoped they’d give us a break, I wanted to lie down on the grass and take a rest. Nobody said anything, you wouldn’t believe how quiet it was, we just stood there gasping for breath, we didn’t think about getting passes, just about getting back to our bunks for a good long siesta. So then they screwed us, the minister confined us to the grounds until the end of the year, that made the Dogs happy but if they didn’t do anything why were they so scared, okay, go on home but don’t forget what you saw, and the officers were even scareder, Huarina was white as a sheet, look in the mirror and your face’ll scare the hell out of you, Curly was next to me, he whispered, “Is General Mendoza the fat one with that dame in the blue dress? I thought he was infantry but the bastard’s artillery, look at his insignia.” The colonel almost swallowed the mike but he didn’t know where to begin so he squeaked, “Cadets!” and rested a while and squeaked, “Cadets!” again even squeakier, look out, you bitch, I’m going to laugh, we all stood there like ramrods but scared shitless like the rest. Okay, Skimpy, you don’t believe me, nobody’d believe me, but honest the colonel kept on squeaking, “Cadets! Cadets! Cadets!” and “We’ll settle all these problems among ourselves,” and “I’d like to address a few words to our distinguished guests, I beg your pardon and I assure you this has never happened before and will never happen again” and “We all hope this distinguished lady will pardon us.” I don’t know who started it but we clapped for about five minutes, anyway my hands got sore, and she stood up and started throwing kisses, too bad she was so far away, I couldn’t tell if she was good looking or not or young or old. Stop scratching me, Skimpy. They say she was even crying. But then, “Third Year, dress uniforms. Fourth and Fifth, as you were.” You poor little bitch, you wouldn’t know why nobody made a move, not the officers, the noncoms, the brigadiers, the guests, not even the Dogs, you wouldn’t know the devil really exists. And then she jumped and said, “Colonel!” and he said, “My dear lady,” because she was the ambassador’s wife, “I’m at a loss for words,” “Sir, not into the mike,” “I beg you, Colonel,” how long did it last, Skimpy? Not long, everybody was looking at fatty and the mike and the woman, and the next time she spoke we knew she was a gringa. “As a personal favor to me, Colonel?” There was a silence, we all waited at attention, and then, “Cadets! Cadets! We’ll forget this shameful incident, but don’t let it happen again, you know the punishment you deserve and you deserve it thoroughly from the army point of view, but this gracious and distinguished lady,” and he bowed to her, “is your champion.” So the old fart let us go and they told me afterward Gamboa said, “Is this a goddamned nunnery, women giving the orders,” and we were so grateful to her we gave a locomotive cheer, I wonder who invented it, it starts out slow, chug, one two three four five, chug, one two three four, chug, one two three, chug, one two, chug, one, chug, chug, chugchugchug, and over again to chugchugchug, and over again, and the ones from the Guadalupe were sore as hell at our cheers and our chugchugchugs during the athletic meet, we also had to give the ambassador’s wife our hooray, hoorah, even the Dogs began applauding, the officers and noncoms didn’t stop us, it went on, chugchugchug, they kept their eyes on the colonel, the ambassador’s wife and the minister started leaving, the minister turned back and said you think you’re all pretty smart but I’m going to mop up the floor with you, but then he started laughing, and Gen. Mendoza and the ambassadors and the officers and the guests too, chugchugchug, we’re the best in the world, hooray, hoorah, chugchugchug, the cadets of the Leoncio Prado one hundred percent, hooray for Peru, Cadets, someday our country will call for us and we’ll be ready, stouthearted and lofty-minded, “Where’s that Gambarina so I can give him a kiss?” the Jaguar said, “I want to know if he’s still alive after the way I banged his head on the ground,” the woman was bawling with gratitude for all the cheers, Skimpy, life in the Academy is hard and strict but it’s got its compensation, too bad the Circle never got back to what it was, the devil always sticks his nose into anything good, I used to feel wonderful when the thirty of us got together in the latrine, so now we’re going to get screwed on account of that peasant Cava, on account o
f a lousy pane of glass, for Christ’s sakes stop biting me, Skimpy, you bitch.