What A Person Wants

by Bell, Kris

  Without another word, Lawanda got in her car and pulled off. I walked to the bus stop at the far end corner of the mall’s parking lot. Damn! After all of that, I still didn’t get to shop.

  RICHIE

  It took two weeks before I could get my car out of the shop. Chloe’s “artwork” cost me some serious money, and it took all of my strength to keep from strangling her when I confronted her about it. She appeared genuinely shocked when I started cursing her out for fucking with my ride. Like she didn’t know what I was talking about! She insisted she had nothing to do with my car getting scratched up. Of course, I didn’t believe her. It wasn’t as though some random person had coincidently scratched “Chloe’s dick” into the hood of my car. I’m not that stupid.

  “I promise I don’t know what you’re talking about, Richie!” Chloe said emphatically as I sat in her immaculate living room, glaring at her. She sat on the edge of her couch all wide eyed and teary. I refused to believe her despite the crocodile tears.

  “Whatever, Chloe. I’m beyond sick of your childish bullshit. There’s no fucking winning with you. Why can’t you just grow up? I’m done with this!” I yelled. I got up from the couch, ready to leave. There was nothing else to say to her. I don't even know why I bothered to confront her about the damage in the first place. She never took responsibility for her actions. This time was no different, though. I gave Chloe one last look and started walking to the door.

  Seeing that I was about to leave, she stood up from her spot on the other end of the couch and cut me off en route to the door. She tried to put her arms around me. I pushed her away, but she was not discouraged. She kept trying to get close.

  “Richie, I don’t know what happened, but I promise, I wasn’t at your fat ass girlfriend’s house. I was just talking shit. I was so jealous I said whatever came to mind. I didn’t mean it. After I talked to Tiffany—”

  Chloe stopped tugging on me. I turned and stared at her.

  “Oh my god,” Chloe whispered. “Tiffany! After I told Tiffany what was going on, she got real mad. Maybe she went over there after I got off the phone with her. Oh my god! That would explain what happened to your car. Tiffany did it.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Now she was blaming Tiffany? Harmless, brainless, boring Tiffany? I shook my head as I kept walking. Chloe screamed my name and chased after me. She caught up with me at the door, sobbing, grabbing the back of my shirt and pleaded with me not to go.

  “Richie, please don’t leave! I’m sorry! I was mad, but I swear I didn’t do it! Tiffany must’ve! I’m so sorry I spoke to her about our issues. Please, don’t leave!”

  I turned around to face the woman I equally loved and hated. She sobbed hard and pleaded with for me to stay with her wet, gray eyes. I wanted to believe her, but our history wouldn’t let me.

  “Are you serious?” I asked in a quiet voice. “Tiffany fucked up my car? Tiffany scratched ‘Chloe’s dick’ into the hood? Tiffany busted out my windows? Tiffany, my best friend’s wife, did all of that? Do you really think I’m that dumb?”

  “Richie, please, I’m telling the truth. Call her. Get it out of her. You know I’m not lying. She did it.”

  I let go of the doorknob. I took a deep breath as I let Chloe lead me back into the living room and sit me on the couch. She put her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder, her breath still hitching from sobbing. I didn’t hug her back, but I didn’t deny her affection either.

  “I’m sorry, babe,” she said again. “If I knew she would take me seriously about getting back at you, I never would’ve told her. I know how much you love your car. I would never damage it like that.”

  I still didn’t say anything. She lifted her head from my shoulders and moved closer to me. I felt her dainty hands roaming over my back. I turned at looked at her. Her eyes were wide and glassy with the remains of unshed tears.

  “How can I believe you?” I finally asked. “After all the shit we been through together, all the lies you told, how can I believe you?”

  Chloe hung her head, but didn’t stop caressing my back. “I don’t expect you to,” she began, “but I hope you will this time. I know I’ve been real bitchy to you lately—”

  “Just ‘lately’?” I asked.

  “Okay, you’re right. I’ve always been a bitch. But that doesn’t mean I hate you. I know I fucked up over and over again but, Richie, I never stopped loving you. I’m asking you just this once to believe me.”

  I took a deep breath and tried to steady my nerves. She was caressing my back now, and it was stirring me up a little bit. I didn’t come here for that.

  “Fine,” I started, “I’ll call Rhys later and speak to him and Tiff about it. Alright?”

  Chloe smiled. I looked away. I refused to get weakened by her beauty and sex appeal again just because I have a soft spot for her. Try as I might, though, I found myself looking right back at her, and the next thing I knew we were kissing.

  I pushed her back onto the couch and lay on top of her, kissing her hard on the lips. She reciprocated my enthusiasm by moaning fiercely beneath me, and I soon felt her long legs wrap around my waist. Just as I was reaching under her blouse to feel her bare breasts, my cell phone rang.

  I jerked my head up quick feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I fell for her again. I came to confront Chloe about damaging my car, not to sleep with her. But yet, there I was, making out with her on her couch like a horny teenager. I got off of Chloe and grabbed my phone from its holster clipped to my belt. Chloe sat up as well, confused. I ignored her and checked my phone. It was Isabel.

  “Richie, what’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

  I didn’t answer Chloe. I unlocked my cell phone and saw Isabel had already hung up. Seeing her name on my phone brought me back down to reality. What the hell was I doing here with Chloe?

  “I’m sorry, Chloe. I have to go.”

  Chloe sat up slowly and folded her arms. “Was that the other woman, Rich? Is that why you’re leaving me high and dry?”

  I could tell she was trying not to blow up at me but, hell, I didn’t come over for this anyway.

  “No, that wasn’t,” I lied. “I just don’t need to be here like this. I’m not having sex with you. I shouldn’t have even kissed you. I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression, but it is what it is. I'm leaving.”

  I walked briskly to the front door and prepared to let myself out. Chloe was close behind me, but kept quiet. I turned to face her after I walked off her front porch and told her that I was sorry for cursing her out. She still didn’t speak. Instead, she just glared at me with hate in her eyes.

  Oh well. Now she knows how it feels. I hopped into my newly repaired ride and drove off.

  ISABEL

  I reluctantly ended the call after Richie's phone had rung a couple of times. I didn't even know why I bothered calling. Wait. Yes I do. I missed him.

  I had only been in Texas for three days, but I missed my friend. Of course, I also missed Tara and Rhys, but I missed Richie the most. That disturbed me a bit. I never was one to be homesick, and the fact that I had finally reunited with Kyle should have been enough to make me forget about home. It wasn't.

  Butterflies invaded my stomach during the entire plane ride from Virginia to Austin, Texas. I'm sure I must have looked like I could hurl at any given moment to the older woman seated next to me on the plane, but I was just super excited. I couldn't wait to see Kyle! My anticipation for reconnecting with my man was so great, I could not sit still. Then, when the plane landed, I departed from the large aircraft with rubbery legs that shook with nerves. He was just a few hundred feet away, and I could not wait to lay my eyes on him.

  Well, unfortunately I had to wait a little longer. I rushed through baggage claim thinking he would be waiting nearby to collect me. Kyle wasn't there, though. I thought perhaps he had gotten lost in the huge crowd that filled the Austin Bergstrom International Airport. I whipped out my cell phone and called him, but he didn't answer.
Where in the world was he?

  After about twenty minutes of waiting in one of the airport's many food stalls, Kyle called me back. He said he had gotten stuck in traffic. Relieved, I took a deep breath and smiled. He didn't forget about me after all.

  Thirty minutes later, I was safely tucked into the passenger seat of Kyle's brand new Optima hybrid. I had no idea he had purchased a new car; I assumed he would pick me up in a rental or his old Kia Spectra. I assumed wrong. It didn't matter. I was with Kyle.

  Looking back, I should have known something was up from the moment we laid eyes on one another. When he had called to tell me he was headed in my direction, I had quickly got up from my seat at the food stall and walked into the bustling crowd so that he could see me better. Moments later, I laid eyes on the handsome Kyle Bennett.

  A gasp of air escaped from my lips. I had forgotten how good looking he was. At about six feet tall with a muscular build, he practically towered over my short five foot frame. Even through his simple tee shirt, I could see the shape of his sculpted chest leading down to his narrow waist. His smooth angular face, flawless, light brown complexion and chiseled lips made my body tight with desire. His sturdy gait matched his confident expression, and when he smiled at me, my heart melted.

  "Hey, Izzy! Sweetheart, how are you? How was your flight?" Kyle asked in his melodious voice as he bent down to hug me tight. I reached my arms around his head and turned my face to kiss him. But he pulled away.

  Confused, I tried again to kiss him and once more he pulled his face away from mine.

  "You haven't seen me in months, and you don't want to kiss me 'hello'?" I asked. I tried to hide my bruised ego behind a smile, but, to me, it felt more like a grimace.

  Kyle smiled sweetly down at me and hugged me again. "Izzy, I've never known you to engage in public displays of affection before. I thought it best to save that for later."

  "You haven't seen me in months," I repeated softly in his ears.

  Taking my hint, he gave me a perfunctory kiss on the lips. This wasn't like him, and it was not the type of greeting I expected from my fiancé after months of separation. I swallowed my disappointment and allowed Kyle to take my bags in one hand and my arm in another, and lead me out of the airport.

  I thought things would get better from there. I was wrong.

  * * * *

  Over the next three days, Kyle and I functioned like a normal couple who refused to acknowledge the painfully obvious elephant in the room. It was clear to me that Kyle had changed since he had been away from home, but I didn't know how to address it. He didn't kiss me the way he used to; we didn't laugh and we barely had more than mindless chit chat. Even the sex was different. To me, it seemed as if it was over before it even began.

  My first night in Texas, I had expected us to make love. I had not had sex since Kyle got his orders to report to Texas, and I was sure he was in the same boat. However, he never pushed for us to have sex. He didn't even hint at it. It wasn't until I took the initiative to straddle his legs while he sat on the couch and began kissing him that he even touched me. Without a word, we had sex right there on the couch, but it was unlike anything I experienced before with him.

  Now, he only kissed me when I initiated it, which was a shame since I loved to taste his lips. Foreplay was minimal. His rhythm was off. Back when we first started seeing each other, Kyle and I would be all over each other. It was like he couldn't get enough of me. Lord knows, he made me feel so desirable that I would never hesitate to give him the physical attention he craved from me. But now... not so much.

  So far, the whole vacation had been that way. I felt more like a tourist in a new city than a woman spending time with her man after a long separation. Now, as I waited for Kyle to get ready for our dinner date, I felt it was time to address the elephant in the room. I held the phone in my hand a little longer. A conversation with Richie back home would have been a welcomed distraction, but I couldn't take spending the rest of my time here wondering "what if." So, I tucked my cell phone back into my clutch purse and asked the question that had been eating at me since my arrival.

  "Kyle, are you seeing someone else?"

  Kyle stopped fiddling with his already perfect tie in the mirror and turned to look at me.

  We were getting ready to go to some steakhouse one of his airmen buddies raved about. Kyle's place was small, but very well-kept. It didn't look like much of a temporary resident as one would expect; I never heard of anyone putting up window treatments or painting entire rooms while residing in an apartment for a short time. Kyle had even purchased a complete dining room, living room and bedroom set. His home looked more like a permanent residence.

  "Izzy, honey, why would you say something like that?" Kyle turned back to the mirror and resumed his grooming. I waited for him to continue, but he didn't say another word.

  I walked to the mirror Kyle and stood so he could see my reflection in the glass. "I'm dead serious, Kyle. I’ve noticed a change in you. You don't seem as happy to be with me as I am to be with you. That makes me wonder if you’ve changed your mind about us. It makes me wonder if there's someone else."

  He cut his eyes to my reflection, but did not stop grooming. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. Of course, I haven't change my mind! How can I change my mind about the woman I plan to marry?"

  He stopped fidgeting with his tie and finally turned to me. He cupped my face in his strong hands. "I love you, Izzy. There is no one else for me." He kissed me with wooden lips. I felt no love in it.

  "I hear you, honey," I replied when he withdrew his lips from mine. "It's just that I feel a wall between us now that wasn't there before and I'm trying to figure out where it came from so we can remove it. I want us to be like we were before you left."

  "I'm the same man I always was." Kyle stepped away from me and slid into his blazer. "Nothing about me has changed. You, on the other hand-"

  "Me?" I asked, surprised. "What about me?"

  Kyle leveled his gaze on me and continued. "Your cousin, Lawanda, told me you have a new guy friend back in Virginia. Perhaps your spending time with him has caused you to look at me differently. Maybe this wall you speak of is something you created yourself."

  I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He really thought I was the cause of this tension? I had been nothing but faithful to this man from the very beginning, but because I was friends with Richie, that that was the reason for the rift between us? Why would Lawanda tell him such a thing? Wait a minute. Lawanda...

  "Kyle, when did you start speaking to Lawanda? I've never known the two of you to be cool like that."

  Kyle froze on his way to the front door. Slowly, he straightened his back and turned to face me. He had a look of pure irritation.

  "Are you questioning me?" Kyle asked. I didn't respond. "Let me explain something to you, Izzy. I can speak to whomever I wish. Be glad that I talked to Lawanda and she told me about this new 'friend' of yours, because if I had found out on my own, this conversation would be much different. This trip would be much different. Now, we are going to go about our evening and pretend this conversation never happened. How dare you accuse me of something so foul when you're back in Virginia acting like you don't have a man!"

  Oh. My. God! What the hell?

  I stood there in disbelief. I felt the sharp sting of unshed tears threatening to pour out of me, but I refused to let them fall.

  "Kyle, I've never been unfaithful to you. I have been home waiting for you to come back so we can continue with our marriage plans. If this person you're talking about is Richie Reyes, then you don't have to worry about him. His Rhys' best friend and we're cool with each other. He's a friend. It isn't like you think at all."

  "How can I believe you?" he spewed back at me, his brown eyes accusatory.

  "Because you know me!"

  "And you know me, too. So how could you accuse me of being with someone else when you know my heart is at home?"

  I sighed, exasperat
ed. This conversation was not going the way I thought it would. I had no idea how to steer it back on track, but I had to try something.

  Taking a deep breath to steady my voice, I replied, "Kyle, I don't know if you realize it or not, but you have been very distant to me. I don't mean just this week. This has been going on for months. And don't blame Richie because it has nothing to do with him. This is about you and I, and I'm telling you as your woman that I don't feel wanted."

  Silence grew between us as a few moments passed. My heart thumped hard against my chest as I waited for Kyle to respond. I hated for us to have disagreements. He was the man I had been waiting for all my life, and I wanted the best for us. However, his actions as of late had me questioning our impending union.

  And I hated to think like that.

  Without a word, Kyle proceeded to the apartment's front door and opened it wide. He did not leave. Instead, he held the door opened and looked at me.

  "If that's the way you're feeling, I suggest you get your insecurities in check. If I didn't want you, you wouldn't be here. So what are you going to do?"

  What I wanted to do was curl up on the couch and cry. I had so many high hopes for this trip. I just knew Kyle and I were going to reconnect, and all of the awkwardness that stemmed from our lack of communication and physical contact would fly out the window. We would become closer than we ever were before. It saddened me that it didn't happen that way. It saddened me that the man I loved and planned to marry had become something of a stranger.

  But he was right, I had told myself. I needed to get my insecurities in check. Maybe I was blowing everything out of proportion. My heart told me I was mistaken, that nothing was going on. But that was the lie I told myself as I stepped out of the apartment with Kyle and headed to dinner.