The Reverend's Wife

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  Charlotte knew it was dead wrong, using their daughter for her own benefit, but she had to do whatever it took to get Curtis’s attention. As it was, he’d already made up his mind about them and wasn’t listening to a thing she said, but he would never ignore his daughter—not when she would certainly tell him the same thing she’d told her, that she would be sad if her own parents ever split up. He would hear her, sympathize with her, and realize divorce wasn’t their best option.

  So, Charlotte exhaled and knew everything was going to be all right. It had to be.

  Chapter 7

  Before Agnes had left for the day, she’d graciously prepared her famous baked spaghetti dish, generously saturated with ground turkey and covered with melted cheese, and now Charlotte and Curtina were setting the dining room table.

  “Spaghetti is my favorite,” Curtina said, smiling, “and I’m so glad Miss Agnes made it for me. I asked her this morning before I went to school.”

  “I remember,” Charlotte said, smiling back at her. “I’m glad she made it, too.”

  Charlotte glanced at her watch and knew Curtis would be home any minute now. About a half hour ago, he’d sent her a text message, saying he’d be there in about thirty minutes or so, but she didn’t like the fact that texting was the method of communication he primarily used when he needed to contact her—she guessed so he wouldn’t have to speak to her directly. Still, she couldn’t wait for him to get there. She was also looking forward to hearing the wonderful conversation he and Curtina were going to have about Jada’s parents, and most of all, she couldn’t wait to hear his response… or see the guilt-ridden look on his face.

  Just then, however, Matthew strolled in and pulled his sister’s ponytails. “Hey, little girl.”

  “Hey, Matt,” she said, hugging him. “How was school today?”

  Charlotte shook her head because there were times when Curtina sounded more like an adult than a four-year-old.

  “It was good. How was your day?”

  “I had a good day, too.”

  “Hey, Mom,” he said.

  “Hey,” she said, but was saddened because he still wouldn’t hug or acknowledge her the way he used to. It was if he never even thought about it.

  “I’m going upstairs to wash up for dinner,” he said. “Oh, and guess what, Mom? Racquel received another four-year scholarship offer. So that makes five.”

  “Really? From where?”

  “Northwestern.”

  “Good for her. That’s a great school, too. Is she considering it?”

  “No, of course not. She’s going to MIT so she can be close to me at Harvard. Remember, I told you, we’ll only have like maybe a fifteen-minute walk and only five minutes by car to see each other.”

  “Oh, that’s right.” Charlotte did remember, but she’d also been hoping and praying Racquel would change her mind about MIT. She’d wanted Racquel to take one of the other scholarship offers so Matthew would be free to focus on his schoolwork and not her. Clearly that wasn’t going to happen.

  Matthew ran upstairs, and about ten minutes later, Curtis dropped his keys onto the island and removed his blazer. Curtina didn’t bother waiting for him to come into the dining room and rushed into the kitchen to see him. Charlotte followed her and saw Curtis picking her up.

  “Boy, sweetheart, you’re getting big.”

  “I know, but not too big for you, Daddy.”

  “Yes, you are. You’re getting heavy.”

  “No, I’m not,” she said.

  Curtis hugged her and put her down. “So, what’s new?”

  “Jada says her parents are getting a divorce. And a divorce means her dad won’t be living with her and her mommy anymore. Isn’t that sad?”

  “It is sad, sweetheart, and I’m very sorry to hear that.”

  “Will you pray for them, please?”

  “Of course I will.”

  “I told Mommy that I’m glad you and her won’t ever get a divorce because I don’t ever want to be sad like Jada.”

  Charlotte watched how uneasy Curtis was. He tried focusing on the mail he’d just picked up, but she could tell he was lost for words. There was no getting out of this one, though, so she waited for him to tell Curtina what she wanted to hear. That her mommy and daddy wouldn’t ever separate.

  “No,” he finally said. “I don’t ever want you to be sad about anything. But even if anything ever made you sad, the one thing you know is that Daddy will always be here for you, right?”

  “Right,” she said. “Can we eat now?”

  Charlotte wanted to scream. This whole scenario hadn’t gone nearly the way she’d planned, and if she could rewind back to a couple of hours ago, she would coach Curtina a lot better than she had. She would give her a specific script, the one she needed her to recite, and she would help her practice her lines. She would help her get ready for her grand performance.

  But it was too late for that now. She’d been hoping this part of her strategy would run a bit more smoothly, making Curtis a lot more vulnerable and open to new ideas, but as it was, she would just have to move on to the next phase of things. She would keep her head up, remain positive, and pray for the best.

  It was half past midnight, and Charlotte walked out of the bathroom, down the hallway, and over to the king-size bed. She pulled out a bottle of vanilla-scented body mist, sprayed it across her chest, arms, and legs, and slipped on a brand-new, lace-trimmed lavender nightie. It was the one thing she had purchased yesterday from Nordstrom, and it would now come in handy for this evening. She’d chosen what she thought was the perfect piece, the one that accentuated her complexion, and she hoped Curtis would agree. Especially since they hadn’t made love in such a long while, and just thinking about the way she would feel got her excited. There was no question Curtis had always known how to satisfy her, and she looked forward to experiencing that same sort of pleasure again. What she wanted was to be close to her husband and make him happy. What she wanted more than anything else was to please him in more ways than one and, at last, convince him that leaving her, not to mention divorcing her, was a huge mistake. She wanted him to see that not only would she never be able to live without him, but he would never be content without her either.

  She left the master suite and made her way toward the guest bedroom. She eased the door open, shut it softly behind her, and tiptoed over to the bed. The lights were out, but the clock on the nightstand shone brightly, so she could see Curtis was resting peacefully. She could also hear him breathing quietly yet deeply enough to know he wasn’t awake, so she gently slid under the covers right next to him. At first, he nestled his head farther into his pillow, but then he slightly turned his body from his side to his back. Charlotte moved closer, caressed his face and kissed his neck. She continued until he finally woke up and realized what was going on.

  “Charlotte? What are you doing?”

  Instead of answering, however, she rested her body on top of his and kissed him on the lips. Surprisingly, Curtis didn’t argue or resist, and he kissed her back. Charlotte’s heart thumped harder than usual, and soon, Curtis eased her body to the side of him and removed his pajama bottom. She half-expected him to say something, she wasn’t sure what, but he didn’t. He said not a word, neither did she, and they kissed again. Now, Charlotte was doubly thrilled about making the decision to approach him without warning. Initially, she’d debated the idea, wondering if this was the right time, but shortly after dinner, she’d decided that what she wanted and needed more than anything was to reconnect with her husband physically. In fact, she’d been trying tirelessly to do so for months, doing all she could to make it happen, but no matter what, Curtis had repeatedly rejected her. He’d acted as though he couldn’t care less about sex anymore, and this worried Charlotte—particularly since they’d always been so good together. They’d always been so flawlessly in sync and completely compatible, and they had never, not since the day they were married, missed many days of being intimate. It hadn’t matt
ered whether they’d been relaxing at home, traveling on one of Curtis’s business trips, or vacationing on some tropical island, making love had always been a priority. And it would be again if Charlotte had anything to do with it. All she had to do now was make him see what he was missing. Although, maybe that wouldn’t be as difficult as she’d thought, because at the moment, they were enjoying each other as husband and wife in every way possible. They were joined as one—mind, body, and soul—the same as they used to be, and Charlotte couldn’t imagine Curtis reverting back to divorce mode. Not after experiencing this kind of rekindling of emotions—there was just no way.

  Chapter 8

  Charlotte stretched her arms toward the headboard and glimpsed over at her wonderful husband. She hadn’t been this relaxed or happy in months, and she was glad Curtis had finally given in and hadn’t rejected her. He’d seemed so receptive to her advances, and their lovemaking had felt like old times—like they hadn’t had a single problem in the world. It was as if Curtis had decided to let bygones be bygones and was ready to get back to the wonderful life they’d once had. It had taken a lot of begging and pleading on her part, that was for sure, but it had all been worth it. She was elated to say her many prayers had thankfully been answered.

  She watched Curtis sleeping, but it wasn’t long before he moved his body from side to side, stretched, and opened his eyes. He lay there for a few seconds, looking at her. Charlotte smiled, but when he didn’t say anything or return the gesture, she got nervous and said, “Good morning.”

  “Hey,” he said and Charlotte leaned over and pecked him on the lips. Then, she tried kissing him more intensely, but he gently pushed her away and sat up on the side of the bed with his back to her.

  Charlotte wondered why he was being distant and couldn’t help worrying. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Didn’t you enjoy making love to me?”

  “I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  “No, truthfully, I did enjoy it. But, Charlotte… that still doesn’t change anything.”

  Her heart sank. “What do you mean?”

  He turned and looked at her. “I’m still filing for a divorce.”

  “Why?”

  “Because no matter how hard I try, I can’t get past the idea of you sleeping with those two men last year. I wish I could, but I can’t. And I don’t trust you.”

  “Then why do you keep saying you’ve forgiven me?”

  “Because I have. I’m not angry with you, but I also can’t stop thinking about those photos Tom sent me of you and him in bed together. As a matter of fact, I still pull them up on my computer from time to time because I just can’t believe you did that.”

  “But you know Tom was blackmailing me.”

  “Eventually he blackmailed you, but in the beginning you slept with him because you wanted to. You did it because you were upset about my allowing Curtina to come live with us.”

  “I know, I know, I know, baby, but I was confused back then. I was hurt, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I made a huge mistake the same as you’ve made mistakes in the past, but as God is my witness, I promise I won’t ever sleep with anyone else again.”

  “I’ve heard those promises before.”

  “I know, but this time, you can believe it. This time I’m dead serious.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I still can’t stay married to you.”

  Charlotte didn’t know what else to say, and soon Curtis stood up and grabbed his robe from the chair. “I’ve thought about this long and hard, and while I do still love you, Charlotte, I won’t spend the rest of my life wondering what you’re going to do next. I haven’t been some perfect angel myself, but when I told you I was done messing around with other women and that I was fully committed to you, I meant it. And I kept my word.”

  Charlotte got up and rushed toward him. “Baby, can’t you see that I’ve learned my lesson? Haven’t you noticed how committed I’ve been this whole last year? I’ve been a good wife to you, even though you’ve insisted you’re still divorcing me, and I’ve been a wonderful mother to Curtina. I’ve also become much more active with the church. But most importantly, I still love you from the bottom of my soul.”

  “That’s all fine and well, but I can’t help the way I feel. Too much has happened, and you know the saying… sometimes love just isn’t enough. Sometimes you have to know when to let go and move on.”

  Charlotte rested the palms of her hands onto his chest, tears streaming down her face. “Curtis, I’m begging you. Please just give me another chance. Please don’t break up our family like this. And didn’t you hear Curtina last night when she talked about how sad she would be if you and I separated?”

  Curtis took both of her hands with tears welling up in his eyes, too. “I’ve thought about that, and the last thing I want is to cause my little girl any pain, but I’ll be here for her. Our divorce will be hard on her in the beginning, but she’ll be fine.”

  “So you’re really going to end almost eleven years of marriage?”

  “I’m sorry, but yes. I have my children to worry about along with the ministry, and I can’t be the best father or pastor if I’m constantly worrying about you and what you might be up to. When you had a baby with Aaron behind my back, it was beyond painful. Then this whole fiasco last year completely knocked the wind out of me. I mean, Charlotte, you slept with two different men like it was normal and like you had the right to do whatever you wanted. So, there’s no way I’m setting myself up for that kind of disappointment again.”

  Curtis released Charlotte’s hands, and she fell to her knees, weeping like a child. She cried loudly and while Curtis tried comforting her, it didn’t help, and soon there was a knock at the bedroom door. Charlotte never looked up, but the next thing she knew, she heard Curtina saying, “Daddy, is Mommy crying? Can I come in?”

  “We’ll be out in a minute, sweetheart,” he said.

  But Charlotte needed her daughter and said, “Yes, sweetie, you can.”

  Curtina walked inside, strolled over to Charlotte, and fell into her arms. “Mommy, what’s wrong?”

  Charlotte couldn’t speak, but she held on to Curtina as tightly as she could.

  “Please don’t cry, Mommy,” she said, and then looked at her father. “Daddy, why is Mommy crying?”

  “She’ll be fine, sweetheart.”

  Charlotte heard his lame response but held on to Curtina for dear life. She held her like it was her last opportunity and prayed she would never have to be separated from her. Although, with the way Curtis was acting, her hopes and wishes seemed completely out of the question.

  Chapter 9

  Curtis responded to an e-mail Lana had sent him regarding his schedule for next week and tried pushing Charlotte out of his mind. All morning, he’d attempted doing everything he could, anything so he wouldn’t have to focus on his wife and what had happened between them. The killing part was that while he couldn’t forget about the way she’d hurt him, he’d still enjoyed his time with her—and realized he had more feelings for her than he’d been willing to confess. They weren’t as strong as, say, two years ago, but he cared about her a lot more than he’d been acknowledging. He’d even realized that to a certain extent he missed the closeness they’d once shared and that their recent occasion of unbridled passion had caused old feelings to surface.

  But who was Curtis fooling? Certainly not himself because the truth was clear and there was no changing it. There was no pretending they could make a fresh start and go on as though nothing had happened. It just wasn’t possible, and Curtis knew he had to accept that. He had to stick with his plan of moving on without Charlotte. With this in mind, he picked up his phone and dialed Sharon. Not because he was dying to speak to her but because conversing with Sharon would serve as a much-needed diversion, and he wouldn’t have to think about his situation with Charlotte.

  “Hey, you,” she said in a welcoming tone of voice.

  “Hey
, yourself. So, how’s it going?”

  “Everything’s good now that I’m talking to you. You know it’s been a while, though, right?”

  “Only a few days.”

  “Well, to me that’s a long time.”

  “I’ve been busy. Plus, my daughter’s birthday party was last weekend.”

  “Did she have a good time?”

  “A great time. She was thrilled.”

  “I’m glad.”

  He leaned back in his chair. “So what’s new?”

  “Not a lot. So why don’t you come see me?”

  Curtis chuckled. “Are you ever going to stop asking me that?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I really wish you would.”

  “Why, because you know you want to?”

  “No, because I know it’s wrong.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You’re married.”

  “Well, I am.”

  “Maybe, but if you ask me, that’s only a technicality.”

  Curtis couldn’t believe her sometimes. She was so self-confident and aggressive. “You’re too much.”

  “No, I’m just being real, and whether you’re ever planning to admit the truth to me or not, I know for a fact that you and your wife aren’t happy. I’ve been saying that for months and months, and I know I’m right.”

  “No comment.”

  “You don’t have to. And, anyway, if you’re so happy, why are you calling me?”

  “For good conversation.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “I’m sure you are, but our relationship is much more than that. You and I have undeniable chemistry, we can talk about anything, and you feel comfortable with me. You have ever since the one time you came to visit.”

  Curtis casually rolled an ink pen back and forth across his desk. “Yeah, but that never should have happened.”

  “Why? It wasn’t like we did anything.”

  “I realize that, but we came pretty close, and I’m glad my son called before things went too far.”