Taking It Easy: Boys of the Big Easy book two

by Erin Nicholas

  “Stop it. Stop saying that. I’m trying to be what you want here, but there are possibly things that you don’t even know that you need.”

  “What I don’t even know that I need?” She couldn’t believe this. “You’re supposed to be helping.”

  “I have been!”

  “Until now. You were doing ghosts and dance class. That’s it. And now there’s angst and drama and texts that I wasn’t getting before. My daughters are all confused and asking questions I’m not ready for.”

  He pulled in a long breath through his nose and let it out, his eyes glittering with emotion. “I should have just let it go? No. fuck that,” he said without waiting for a response. “This is important. Okay, so I’m not great at this hard stuff. Yes, I’d rather it was fun and everyone was happy. But you know what? Maybe you’re not great at it either.”

  Dana felt a thunk in her chest. “Excuse me?”

  “You want everyone else to be happy. You make it all easy for everyone else. No rocking the boat, no putting responsibility on them, no calling them on their bullshit. But that’s crap, Dana. You can be upset and you can ask people for things. They won’t reject you if things aren’t always perfect every second. Chad didn’t leave you, or stay away, because it was hard here. Jada wasn’t being mean to Chloe because Chloe is hard to get along with. People aren’t going to leave when things get bumpy. Life gets bumpy sometimes. People understand that.”

  Dana felt tears stinging her eyes and her stomach flip, and she folded her arms tightly against her body.

  Her phone rang, making them both start. Logan glanced at where it was lying on the countertop.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

  It was Tiffany Custer’s name that popped up on the screen.

  Dana felt his intention before he even moved, and she reached for the phone as he did. She grabbed it a millisecond before he did, silencing the ringer and then tucking it into her pocket.

  “You’re not going to talk to her?”

  “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

  “Don’t you dare apologize for me,” he said, pointing a finger at her nose.

  “Then stop making things messy!” she snapped.

  “Life is messy, Dana. I’m not afraid of a little mess.”

  Dana opened her mouth to reply and…threw up on his shoes.

  For the next hour, Logan cleaned up vomit, made cool wet cloths, poured sports drinks, and checked temperatures.

  Chloe had met them at the top of the steps as Logan carried Dana to bed with the news that there was “puke everywhere!” in the bathroom where Grace had gotten sick.

  Chloe seemed fine, so far, but he kept checking her as well.

  At the moment, everything was quiet, all the bedding was in the dryer, and everyone was asleep. Logan slumped onto the couch, resting his head back. Dana had talked him out of rushing them to the ER or even calling the doctor, saying this was just a bout of the flu. Just? He didn’t think his heart rate had been normal since Dana had gotten sick in the kitchen. Cooper had been sick in the past, of course, but Gabe and their mom had handled the majority of that so Logan hadn’t realized how fucking exhausting it was to have people you loved not feeling well. Not the cleanup, but the worry. And the feeling of helplessness.

  Logan scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. He was staying over. Right here on this couch. He wasn’t even going to leave to get more clothes or anything. He had to be here. Dana was annoyed with him, and they hadn’t solved the issue of his involvement in the girls’ lives beyond school pickup and homework help, but they would. Probably.

  He pivoted his body, lying back on the cushions. Just for a few minutes. He’d go check on them soon. And knowing that they were sick, there was nowhere else he would be. Was this fun? Fuck no. But if anyone was going to take care of these girls, it was him. Maybe he didn’t have the most experience, but no one loved them more. And as soon as she wasn’t puking every fifteen minutes, he was going to tell Dana that.

  At least it wasn’t morning sickness. She couldn’t blame him for this.

  Of course, in a few months they’d be adding someone else to love and worry about. Someone else who would get sick from time to time. Someone else who would have to deal with hurt feelings and who would have questions about step-parents and half-siblings and ghosts and funerals. His heart thumped hard against his ribs at that, though. Someone else he would be responsible for, who would need him, who would make him act on pure emotion and do and say things that he never would otherwise.

  He shouldn’t have started shit with Tiffany. Okay, he knew that. But he also wasn’t really sorry.

  Was he better at green slime and ghost stories? Sure. But three months ago, he had no idea about the sheer number of barrette options that existed in the world. He’d learn the rest of this too. Or at least his kids would grow up knowing that he was doing his best and it was all out of love.

  His kids. His heart flipped again at that. He hadn’t labeled everything or thought about how others would define their relationships until Jada and Tiffany. But now…well, everything he’d said to Dana was true. Chloe and Grace were his in his heart, and he wanted it to be official and for the world to know. Not because he needed the attention or needed to officially be the fun dad or because he needed to be better at something than the other dads—and moms—but because he wanted everyone to know that they all belonged together.

  And yeah, okay, he’d been looking for something to be really good at besides bartending, and being the number one dance dad had felt like a pretty good option.

  He ran his hand over his face again. This was all crazy.

  Rolling to his side, he debated turning on the TV, going upstairs to check on everyone again, or just closing his eyes. He was just reaching for the remote when he heard a faint thump behind the couch. He paused. There was a rustle and he stifled a groan. Okay, he needed more bleach water and his rubber gloves.

  But it was Chloe who came crawling on all fours around corner of the end table.

  She was clearly trying to be quiet and go undetected. He wondered if she hadn’t realized he was down here. He closed his eyes, watching her through just a slit in his eyelids. She glanced at him and then very carefully got to her feet. She reached for something on the end table, and Logan was startled to see her picking up the globe that Chad had given the girls. The one that Grace insisted moved each night. Chloe took the globe to the other end table and set it down where Grace would find it in the morning, supposedly moved by their father’s ghost to let them know he was there with them.

  Logan felt his throat tighten. It wasn’t Grace moving the globe each night as Dana suspected. It was Chloe.

  God, he loved these girls.

  He lay still, watching her. She was staring at the globe. She reached out and gave it a little push, making it spin. She watched the countries and oceans slowly rotate.

  Logan took a deep breath and stretched a little on the couch, pretending that he was waking up so as not to scare Chloe. But he wanted to talk to her. He cleared his throat and slowly opened his eyes. Chloe was watching him.

  “Hey, honey,” he said, giving her a smile. “Whatcha doing?”

  She hesitated, clearly weighing what she should tell him.

  “You feeling okay?” he asked, pushing himself up onto one elbow. “Your stomach okay?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

  “Did you need something?” he asked. She didn’t have to tell him about the globe. He’d keep her secret. But he kind of hoped she would.

  Chloe looked at the globe and then back to him. “I came down to move the globe.”

  He looked at it too. The rotations had just stopped. “Oh.”

  She took a deep breath. “I’m the one that moves it every night,” she said. “For Grace. I know she likes thinking Dad does it.”

  Logan nodded, his chest feeling tight. “That’s nice.”

  She nodded, looking back to the globe. “Do you think ma
ybe now she won’t need the globe?”

  Logan pushed himself up to sitting, his heart thundering. “What do you mean?”

  “Now that you’re here,” she said. “Now that you’re here, maybe she won’t need to think Daddy’s here.”

  Damn. See? This wasn’t fun and silly stuff. This was not unicorn poop or ladybug barrettes. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. Because that’s all he could do, really. He wanted to be honest with the girls. “For one thing,” he went on. “I don’t know that it’s true that your dad’s not here.”

  Chloe gave him a yeah, right look, but he shrugged. “I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about ghosts lately,” he said with a little grin. “And I don’t think it’s crazy to think that he might be hanging around and checking on you.”

  And Logan hoped like hell that didn’t freak Chloe out. Not all little girls thought this stuff was cool the way Grace did.

  “But he’d be hanging around to be sure we’re okay,” Chloe said.

  “Right.”

  “And if you’re here, then we are okay and he doesn’t have to do that. He can go to heaven.”

  Logan felt like she’d just punched him in the chest. Wow. He cleared his throat. “You don’t think he’s in heaven?”

  “Not if he’s still here, right?”

  He took a breath. “Well, I don’t know everything about it, but some people think that spirits can move back and forth.”

  She wrinkled her forehead, but then nodded. “Okay.”

  “Come here.” He reached a hand out and she took it, letting him tug her up onto the cushion beside him. He put an arm around her. “Here’s what I do know—when someone loves you, that doesn’t stop just because they’re not around all the time. And even if he thinks I’m here to take care of you, which is really nice and I absolutely promise that I’m going to do that, he might still want to visit so he can just see you.”

  She nodded again. “Okay.” Then she looked up at him. “But he’s not moving the globe.”

  “I know.”

  “Maybe I should stop moving it.” She seemed deep in thought about that. “Maybe Grace will be okay.”

  Grace would absolutely be okay. Logan would make sure of it. Though he did need to convince Dana that she needed to let him stick around, even for the hard stuff. “You know what I think?” he told Chloe. “I think that you know the best way to handle this.”

  Her eyes were round when she looked up at him again. “I do?”

  “I do. You love her. You know her. And anything you do will be because you want her to be happy and feel safe. So however you decide to handle it will be right.” That was exactly what he wanted from Dana. The trust to maybe not do things exactly the way she would or even get it exactly right, but to do it with the right intentions and because he loved them.

  “Okay,” Chloe finally said. “I’ll think about it.”

  He gave her a little squeeze. “Great. And if you want to talk about it, or anything, I’m right here.”

  She gave him a big smile. “I know.”

  And she couldn’t have said anything that would have mattered more.

  After Chloe went back to bed, Logan checked on Grace and Dana, but they were both passed out. Everything seemed quiet for the moment, so he returned to the couch and lay back, closing his eyes just until they needed him again.

  A few minutes later, he awoke to the sound of soft knocking on the front door.

  He sat up, blinking at the sunlight streaming in the front windows. Sun? He glanced at the clock and found that it was just before seven a.m. He’d been asleep for over six hours.

  He pushed up quickly, heading for the steps to check on everyone, but the soft knocking stopped him. Right. Front door. Someone was here.

  Frowning, he strode to the door, unlocked it, and pulled it open.

  Lindsey was standing on the other side.

  “Hi.” She gave him a smile.

  “Um, hi.” He scratched his chest. He was not fully awake. “What’s up?”

  “I brought some supplies.” She lifted her hands. In one was a grocery bag and in the other was a casserole dish.

  Logan rubbed a hand over his face. He had more than a day’s growth of beard, he was in the same clothes from yesterday, and he was sure his hair looked like he’d just spent the night on a couch. “Supplies?” he finally repeated.

  “More Gatorade, some ginger ale, crackers, Jell-O, and soup. And this is chicken and dumplings. More for you, but once their stomachs settle, they might be able to handle it. Very starchy and not too spicy.”

  Everything sunk in and Logan sighed, bracing a hand on the doorjamb. “She called you.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Even though I was here.”

  Lindsey looked slightly apologetic about that. “Yeah.”

  “Dammit,” he muttered.

  “In her defense, she knew you’d need all of these supplies and knew that I could easily run them over.”

  “That’s ridiculous and you know it,” he said. “I’m right here.”

  Lindsey nodded. “But we talk every morning before work. It’s just our routine. So—” She handed him the stuff in her hands. “Here you go. Take the help.”

  He took the bag and the casserole. “You know I can’t let you in. I have to be the one here for her for this.”

  Lindsey smiled. “Good.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Of course.”

  Of course. Okay, that had been easier than he’d expected. “Can I ask you something?” This was Dana’s best friend. A fellow single mom. She knew things.

  “Sure.”

  “She said something last night about me being the fun one and the girls liking me best. Do you think she really feels that way?” That had never been his intention. Not really. Yes, he liked being the life of the party, the fun uncle, the one that could make any girl laugh and blush, the owner of one of the most fun bars in the Quarter… Logan’s thoughts trailed off. Okay, maybe he had been going for being the most fun person in Grace and Chloe’s life. Because he’d wanted to be important to them and fun was what he did best. But now he was starting to think maybe he had more to offer. He could handle ghosts and hair emergencies and puke.

  Lindsey seemed to be considering his question, and he appreciated that she was taking him seriously. “Well, let me ask you this,” she finally said. “When you think of your childhood, what stands out?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Without really thinking hard about it, when I say, ‘what do you remember from when you were a kid?’ what comes to mind?”

  “Okay.” Logan just let the word childhood go through his head. “Blanket forts with my brother. Playing baseball. Fishing and swimming in the summer. Parades. Going for waffles at the Camellia Grill on Saturday morning.”

  Lindsey nodded. “Exactly. You don’t think about the times that your laundry was done or the lunches that were packed for you to take fishing or the homemade creams she concocted to put on the sunburn you got playing baseball.”

  Logan swallowed. “I only remember the fun.”

  “All kids do. And that’s how it should be. Dana knows that. So she makes sure that everything else happens.”

  “She never has fun with the girls? I don’t believe that.”

  “Sure. But while she’s having fun she also has to think about when it’s time to wrap up for dinner or bedtime. She has to think about the cleanup of the fun. Or the consequences of the fun—how much is it going to cost, how tired will the girls be tomorrow, what is not getting done while they’re having fun. And she has to organize and plan the fun. It’s never just fun.”

  “When Chad was home, did he help with all of that?”

  Lindsey shook her head. “Chad was always here temporarily. Dana made sure that it was fun for him too. She made the plans and dealt with cleanup. And after he died, it reinforced the importance of making all of that happen even more. She’s so glad the girls only have good memories of their dad.”<
br />
  Logan sighed. “I knew that she worried that Chad wouldn’t want to be here if things here were a lot of work or not fun, but she also made it fun while he was here so the girls would really love having him here.”

  Lindsey smiled. “Yeah. The girls were little and he was gone so much that she worried that they wouldn’t warm up to him easily when he was home. She really wanted them to look forward to him being home. She just made it all…perfect for all of them.”

  “While she did all the hard stuff behind the scenes.”

  “Right. Not that she regrets any of that. I think a lot of it was subconscious, honestly,” Lindsey said. “And I think that’s why she was drawn to you. You could give the girls all of those good times they were missing.”

  “And me being fun meant that the girls would warm up to me and would make it easier for me to be around once the baby is here.”

  “Yep.”

  He sighed. “So I do need to pull back, quit being intense about being more involved.”

  Lindsey clearly didn’t agree with that. She tipped her head. “As my best friend in the world, you know what I wish for her?”

  “What?”

  “That she would get to be Chad once in a while. That she could just enjoy. That she wouldn’t have to think of all that other stuff.”

  Logan studied Lindsey. “She’s never done that?”

  “Never. Because there’s no one that knows as well as she does all the things that need to happen behind the scenes and on the side of the fun. Not even me. My boys aren’t involved in dance. And they aren’t into ghosts and stuff. You know what I’m saying?”

  There was something about the way Lindsey said it that made Logan feel a bubble of hope. “You mean there hasn’t been anyone who knows all of that stuff as well as she does…until now.”

  She gave him a bright smile. “Exactly.”

  “You’re on my side.” He said it almost as if to confirm it.

  “I am.” Lindsey turned and started down the steps, but she paused partway down and turned back. “Of course, I’ll have to kill you if you mess this up.”