Renewing Hope (In Your World #2)

by Jennyfer Browne

  I sputtered, my mouth tasting overly sweet before I could speak.

  "I'm sorry, Fannie! It just slipped!" I moaned, still wiping the sugar from my face.

  "It is all right, Katherine," Fannie replied, taking me gently between the shoulders.

  "You should go outside and try to dust yourself off. I will clean up in here."

  "I'm sorry," I murmured, embarrassed and upset with myself for wasting so much sugar.

  "Go on, daughter," she chuckled, and pushed me out the door.

  I groaned and stepped out into the yard, brushing off the sugar that had collected on my dress, grumbling when I realized the thin sheen of sweat from baking had made the skin on my arms and neck only collect the sugar in thick clumps. I was finding sugar in my pockets when I heard a loud nicker behind me. Turning, I almost bumped into Nathan.

  And Magnus.

  "What is wrong, Kate?" Nathan asked, looking over me curiously.

  "I was clumsy this morning," I muttered, and continued to dust myself off.

  He laughed and put his hands up when I glared at him.

  "Jonah needs me on the roof. Would you take Magnus to the paddock? Mark said he would be by sometime before midday meal to borrow him for the delivery of our hay today," he said and leaned in to peck me on the cheek. He pulled away grinning.

  "What?" I groused.

  "You taste sweet," he whispered and kissed me again, this time on the neck.

  "I dumped sugar all over myself."

  He hummed and let me take Magnus' rope lead from his hand.

  "And I thought you could not get any sweeter," he replied with a grin as he stepped away.

  I smiled at his playful words.

  Only Nathan could make my embarrassing moment better.

  I patted Magnus on the side of the neck, and started to lead him over to the paddock, feeling his breath blow past me as he walked close behind me. I startled when I felt warm soft lips nuzzle at the sticky skin of my neck. I squirmed away, swatting at my wet neck and glared up at the big animal's dark eye.

  "Hey now, just because Nathan does it, doesn't mean you can, too," I said, to which he made a noise like a snort.

  I huffed and tugged him a little harder, opening up the gate and letting him follow close behind me. Once inside, I reached up to unclip his lead from his halter. I stood there for a second as the big black looked down, one great eye watching me. I rolled my eyes and dipped my hand into my sugar-clogged apron pocket, opening my palm to his muzzle.

  His soft lips greedily moved across my open hand, blowing half the white goodness from my hand before he looked up and stamped his hoof.

  "Nathan is going to kill me for spoiling you, you know that right?" I asked him, as if he'd understand.

  I dug out the rest of the sugar and held it out to him, stroking along his neck and speaking softly to him as he ate up the sweet treat from my hand.

  "Don't expect this in the winter, big boy," I said. "It's slim rations this winter. Besides, you're getting kind of fat."

  He snorted again, looking up and shaking his mane as if to argue with me. I laughed and gave him a good pat on the shoulder.

  "Go on, go flirt with Patience before she starts to think you don't like her," I said and made the clicking noise Nathan always did when he had unhitched his horses from their harnesses, signaling them to go.

  Magnus let out a low guttural noise and threw his head back, far above me, nodding it before turning and bolting away, tail high and head proud as he pranced along the fence line and back again. He slowed a little just as he came close and then turned and pranced away again. I shook my head at his playful attitude and closed the gate behind me, wondering if perhaps horses suffered from sugar rushes.

  Magnus was certainly enjoying himself as he pranced and waved his head about.

  Close to the house, I heard laughter above me. Looking up I saw Nathan and Jonah sitting on the roof of the front part of the house, watching me as I approached. Nathan pointed his hammer toward the direction of the paddock and shook his head.

  "He is spoiled with you. You have turned my proud stallion into a prancing pony!" he admonished, fighting hard to hide his smile.

  "I don't know what you're talking about. Your horse was always like that," I replied before glancing back at Magnus, who was now trotting around Patience before settling in beside her to graze on the mound of hay laid out for them. I grinned and shrugged when I heard Jonah and Nathan chuckling above me.

  At least Magnus didn't hate me.

  I finished dusting off in front of the porch and went back in to help Fannie with boxing up the pies and cakes we had made for the market. We had the buggy hitched and the food loaded before Jonah and Nathan were done repairing the roof, so Fannie settled into the seat and let me slide in beside her. Waving the men goodbye, we set out for the market.

  "So is this an Amish-only market?" I asked as we rode.

  "Mostly it is made up of several communities surrounding ours. The English farmers come as well. But aside from the general store, it is a good place to sell our goods, and a fine place to stock up on some of our pantry goods," she said, turning onto a side road I had never been on.

  We chatted as we rode, Fannie offering me ideas for what to buy at the market to help build up Nathan's kitchen. I knew there was next to nothing there, and had made a list of things to buy for him when we arrived. I was excited to make the first purchases for the house, but was a little apprehensive about making sure I did it right.

  And of course, I could still end up being denied amongst the Amish, even though we had almost completed the baptism classes. I still had to prove myself worthy to the rest of the community. I didn’t think I could do that simply with pie at a market.

  I let out a steadying breath when we pulled up to a large open warehouse, buggies and trucks lined up along the side of the market. We unloaded our food quickly, the booth set up for our community close by. Sarah Jensen and an elderly woman supervised the booth, their smiles widening when they saw the number of pies we had brought.

  "I have heard of your pies, young Katherine," the old woman said, squinting to investigate one of my apple pies. When she looked up again, I noticed one of her eyes was blind, clouded with age and cataracts.

  "Ethel, she puts my pies to shame," Fannie replied, holding me close.

  The old woman laid the pie back down on the table and patted me lightly on the arm.

  "Well, that should make the young Fisher boy happy. Fatten him up. He is far too thin," she said, nodding seriously.

  "I will do my best," I murmured, smiling at the idea that perhaps I could make him happy with more than simply my pies. And even more so, that Ethel already approved of me to do so.

  Perhaps pie was the way to the Amish heart.

  “Bishop Yoder, pleasant day.”

  I froze with a pie in my hand at the name on Ethel’s lips. Turning, I found the Bishop standing in front of the booth, eyeing the baked goods and jams. When he looked up to find me standing there with pie in my hands his friendly face faltered and a slight sneer appeared. It only lasted an instant before the man standing beside him spoke. I hadn’t even noticed the young Bishop, Zachariah Ropp, standing there.

  “It is good to see you again, Katherine Hill,” he said with a courteous nod of his head. “I have heard many say your baked goods would make a fine addition to this market.”

  The Bishop’s eyes narrowed at the young man’s compliment.

  “I am happy to offer whatever I may, Bishop Ropp,” I replied, my voice soft.

  Fannie came up beside me and transferred the pie in my hands to the table.

  “She is blessed in her baking,” she replied simply.

  “You have taught her much then,” Bishop Yoder stated, never taking his judging eye from mine.

  “No, she was blessed before she arrived with us, Bishop Yoder,” Fannie replied. “I dare say she outshines my own skills.”

  “Really?” Bishop Ropp asked, his eyebrows rising
slightly. “Naomi Yoder has said that no one can cook like you. Your cakes and dishes are always the first to go at your Sermons, I hear.”

  Fannie wrapped her arm around my waist and smiled.

  “Not any longer, I think,” she said. “I do believe Katherine’s pies disappeared while the main dishes were still hot on last Sermon.”

  “You will make an Amish man very happy one day,” Bishop Ropp said before jerking his head toward his elder Bishop, who made a strangled noise in his throat.

  Clearly Bishop Yoder didn’t think so.

  “An Amish wife must know more than how to fill her husband’s belly,” he muttered and nodded his goodbye before stalking off toward the horse auction.

  Bishop Ropp looked after him for a moment before offering his clipped farewell and following after. Ethel patted my hand and gestured toward the retreating Bishops.

  “Do not worry over Bishop Yoder. He has just forgotten what a meal made with love tastes like.”

  “I do not think Nathan Fisher starves so,” one of the other women teased.

  “Leave her be, Mary,” Sarah said, winking at me as my blush deepened.

  "Shall we shop?" Fannie interrupted, pulling me toward the main floor.

  I waved my goodbyes and Fannie walked me around the warehouse floor, my embarrassment subsiding as we walked amongst other Amish that smiled and nodded along our way. She pointed at booths that we would come back to, and booths to avoid for their steep prices. By the time we had returned to our own booth, we were laden with supplies and had several young boys assisting us to our buggy.

  I was rather happy with myself, my interaction with the Bishop forgotten. I had managed to get quite a lot with only about half the money Nathan had given me that morning. We still had a trip into town on our way back, during which I hoped to get a few other things. But our money seemed to be stretching better than I had hoped. Fannie seemed to be pleased with my success as well. Our buggy was crammed full of goods that would last us for quite some time into the winter.

  Our pies had sold quickly, earning us a bit of money Fannie said would help with making clothing purchases for the cold weather ahead.

  "Nathan will need more thermal underwear, as will you," she said as we climbed out of our buggy once again. We were in front of the feed store, Jonah and Nathan wanting us to place their order for animal feed.

  "How cold does it get in the winter?" I asked, dreading her answer.

  "There will be days it will be difficult to even step out to the barn, but chores must still be done," she replied and opened the door for me into the front office of the feed store.

  I knew it would be rough. The only saving grace to that would be staying warm with Nathan throughout the winter. That thought made me smile. We ordered what we had been asked to order, my eyes widening a little at the prices of feed for the horses and cows. I wondered how many meals I could make with just milk and eggs, as that would be what we would have on hand and could afford little else if we expected to keep the horses and cows fed.

  "It is not so dire, Katherine," Fannie assured me as we walked back out. "I have many canned goods in the cellar I intend to offer you so that you may have something there."

  We walked to the general store down the street, Fannie wanting to check with the shop owner about future cake orders when a flash of orange caught my eye. I turned a little too slowly, but swore I had seen a woman with red hair duck into the alley next to the diner. A cold chill ran up my spine at the memory of that alley and the time Nathan had come to my rescue.

  But more than that, I felt the prickling of fear at having possibly seen Joanna.

  Was she spying?

  Or was she simply in town? She had not yet returned to her parents' house, as far as I knew, and with the appearance of Jeff earlier in the month, I had my suspicions.

  "Are you ready, Katherine?" Fannie asked, coming out of the store. "We need to still empty our goods when we return home."

  I nodded and was quiet as we made our way home. Dozens of thoughts ran through my head, all dark and fearful, as I pictured Jeff's predatory smile, Joanna's narrowed eyes, and Sean's rough way. Every time I thought of Jeff or Joanna, I thought of Sean.

  Why hadn't I heard anything?

  Would they mail me a notice of his conviction?

  He had to be here in Iowa by now, awaiting trial or in prison already.

  I had been thinking about him a lot lately, perhaps because I knew at some point, there would be a question of whether I had forgiven him. The idea of doing so made my stomach turn. So perhaps that is why my stomach lurched when I saw the police car in the driveway of the Berger’s farm as we rolled in. And when I saw the sheriff listening to Jonah and Nathan, I knew something was up.

  This was not a simple call.

  I could see it in Nathan's panicked eyes when they met mine.

  Something had happened.

  Nathan’s fingertips hovered around my elbow and he directed me to the swing, where the sheriff detailed the news he had to share. My head swam as I sat there, Nathan's arm preventing me from falling. It was hard to breathe, difficult to concentrate on what the sheriff was saying. When he told me Sean had escaped, I nearly collapsed there in front of them. If not for Nathan's strong arms holding me, I would have crumpled.

  I hadn't really heard how he had escaped.

  Something about feigning sickness.

  Something about a switch at the hospital.

  Things you only hear about in movies, never in real life. But somehow he had slipped away and now they had Sean's friend Brendan in custody instead of Sean. Brendan had been there the night I had run. Brendan and Sam had held me down. Brendan had pulled at my clothes while Sean had hit me.

  "Miss Hill, you need not worry," the sheriff was saying. "The Arcata Police Department has had sightings of him in their jurisdiction. He would be an idiot to come back here, with federal marshals looking for him."

  "You are sure he is not in the state?" Nathan asked beside me.

  "As much as we can gather. He was seen near Arcata last week with a group of his friends who appear to be helping him hide, like they did before he was arrested."

  "Kate, breathe."

  I looked up at Nathan, the worry in his eyes making me feel more lost as I tried to pull myself together.

  "Miss Hill, he won't come back here. He has only made his case here worse. I wouldn't be surprised if he makes his way to Mexico," the sheriff said, trying to comfort me.

  "You don't know Sean," I mumbled and closed my eyes.

  "If you like, we can have an officer camp out here for a few days. Will that make you feel safer?" he offered.

  Would I feel safer if an Outsider watched as we tried to go about our peaceful way?

  Would this drive the wedge further between the community and me?

  "What of his friends here?" Jonah asked, concern lacing his usually kind features. "Have you investigated them?"

  "They claim to know nothing. They deny having helped him in the first place."

  "Is there any threat to Katherine?" Jonah pressed.

  "I don't think there is. He is gone. The Feds seem pretty sure of that."

  "Kate?"

  I opened my eyes and turned to see Nathan and Jonah watching me, the worry clear in their eyes.

  "I don't know what to think," I whispered sighing in defeat.

  Sean would never be out of my life it seemed.

  Nathan tucked a stray hair behind my ear and turned to the sheriff.

  "We appreciate your coming out to let us know. But if he is gone as you say, I think having an officer watch us will only make Kate more nervous," he said and held me a little closer.

  "We will keep our daughter safe," Jonah added.

  The sheriff straightened and put his hat back on his head.

  "I understand. If you need anything, you know I am always happy to come out," he said and moved to leave.

  Jonah and Nathan thanked him, while I nodded and stepped inside to g
ive myself some distance from what I had just heard.

  Sean was loose.

  I would never be free of him.

  Regardless of what the sheriff said.

  I would always be looking over my shoulder.

  I heard Nathan behind me before I felt his hands slip around and hold me in the dark hall.

  "It will be all right, Kate," he whispered. "I will not let him hurt you again."

  "After next Sunday, Nathan, you won't," I replied into his shoulder.

  After we were baptized, Nathan would have no recourse to defend us. We didn't raise our hand to fight, even in self-defense.

  "He will not come back. If he is hiding in California, he will not dare come back."

  I nodded and pulled away as the door opened and Jonah came through, patting me on the shoulder.

  "You will be safe here, Katherine. God will look after you," he said and disappeared into the kitchen.

  "He is right," Nathan whispered. "God would not see you hurt."

  I let it go with a nod, not wanting to argue with Nathan. Maybe this week or this month, we would be safe. But what about in six months, or a year? Even as Nathan assured me time and again that night, I just couldn't believe that we would never see Sean again.

  Sean wouldn't give up that easily.

  He would come back.

  CHAPTER 10

  Nightmares of the corn had no time in my mind when I was too exhausted to dream.

  As the fall crops and preparations for winter kept us busy, my studies and struggles at learning the Amish life forced thoughts of Sean into the back of my head. We had so much to do; it was difficult for me to think much on anything except my studies and my daily tasks. With Emma’s and John’s baptisms to prepare for in the coming day, all our energy and thoughts were for our sister, and the celebration to come. I was hopeful that everything I had learned would earn me a bit of the same nervous energy I saw in Emma all week leading up to her baptism.

  Soon, Nathan and I would hopefully be committing to this life. Emma was alive with excitement beside me as we finished up on our dresses for the weddings. It had taken me a month and it was almost finished. Hannah helped when she could, but she and Mark were staying at the Bowman farm now, settling in as the elder Bowman began construction on an addition to the house there.