Renewing Hope (In Your World #2)

by Jennyfer Browne

  Wound up. Coiled.

  Cautious.

  "I'm fine," I breathed, scared he would withdraw and I would feel the vast emptiness of where he had joined with me.

  Nathan's hand gripped my thigh, holding me to him as he flexed forward until I felt his hip grind into me. Fully and completely, we were one.

  "So much, I cannot," he groaned and buried his head deeper into my neck. He held himself deep inside of me, not moving but breathing as if to calm himself.

  Every place we touched seemed to thrum from our heartbeats, pulsing in a harmonious rhythm. This was what it felt like to be complete with your lover. To feel that amazing moment when you connected, no space between one's bodies. His lips touched the racing pulse in my neck, his deep groan moving down through his body and into mine. With a tortuously slow movement I felt him pull away, making me whimper when I felt the air cool me along my stomach and breast when his skin separated from mine.

  And then he pushed back toward me. My hands felt every tense contraction in his hips, the slight forward rotation accompanied with a tightening of muscles, and then a softness of flesh as he pulled up into my hands.

  Slow, measured. Deep. Long.

  Tattered breath in, low moan out.

  Lips against my neck, capturing moist flesh.

  Flex. Tense. Groan.

  "Nathan."

  My breath came in short bursts, because every time I breathed, I felt him tremble and his chest would connect with mine. The rough hairs of his chest would scrape across my nipples and I would feel that ache inside coil tighter with each breath.

  And then he pushed through that tightening and entered me a little harder, a little deeper and paused.

  Slow. So unbearably, deliciously slow.

  We trembled against one another, quiet except for our labored breaths.

  The hand on my hip hugged me tighter to him, and in response I wrapped my legs up and over his waist, opening myself further to him and holding him to me. His responsive flex into me was more persistent, making me gasp. He pulled away to look down at me worriedly.

  "Did I hurt you?"

  I could only shake my head and urge him on with the gripping of my calves along the small of his back. The resulting thrusts made both of us whimper.

  Slow and deep was unbelievable.

  But that short firm thrust made my stomach tense and quiver.

  "Again," I whispered, my eyes closing when he pushed against me, again with a little more enthusiasm.

  "Too good," he groaned and moved again, a little faster.

  "More," I moaned and let my fingers dig into his flesh just a little, like spurs to a stallion, willing him to go faster. He obliged, and soon he was moving with more vigor, panting with each thrust.

  He rose up onto his elbows, his hands on either side of my shoulders, watching in wonder as he disappeared inside of me. I forced my eyes to remain on his face. On Nathan's dry lips as they pouted while he breathed in heavily. On the quick lick and tug on his bottom lip when he groaned. On his eyes as they traveled up my body and then fixed on my own. His dark eyes traveled to my own mouth, and then he leaned in and kissed me, his movements only slowing long enough to find my lips before breaking off to watch us moving together once more.

  He worked up a sweat, the flickering glow of the candles enhancing his rippling muscles, shown in sharp relief as he moved. I was enraptured by his body — forearms tight, stomach taut, his heaving ribs ridged as he curled and twisted above me.

  Watching his intense concentration caused a deep trembling wave inside of me, like a quaking shiver that ran as far as my toes and then up into my scalp. It prickled and drenched every cell in me, like a wash of icy hot liquid running over me, making me shudder and whimper.

  His eyes closed for a moment and his body slowed, as if he could feel the reaction his body created in me. And then he moved with more energy, and the quivering inside me grew, radiating from the center out.

  Blossoming as I cried out.

  A clenching that made him thrust into me harder with a rough series of grunts.

  Losing control.

  Faster. Whimpering.

  Uncoiling.

  Teetering.

  Crashing.

  Shaking.

  "Kate," he whimpered, his eyes fluttering closed and his thrusts quickened, shallow and erratic.

  My hands grasped at his shoulders, needing him against me, but the shaking made it hard to hold on. He leaned in, arms sliding up around my shoulders to draw me tight against his jolting and heavy frame. I felt his body tense, my name caught in his throat.

  Every muscle tightened, as if he was frozen like a statue for a split second.

  And then he shook, his voice deep and almost pained as he called out my name, long and loud against my hair. His body grew heavy against me, the delicious weight of him against my hips only serving to keep him deep inside me, even as I felt him relax every muscle. He struggled to hold himself up by his forearms, breathing hard along my neck and down to my shoulder, laying trembling kisses along my hot skin.

  When he was finally able to lift his head up, his eyes were half closed as if drunk, and his mouth was turned up in a relieved grin.

  I returned the smile and stretched to kiss his dry lips.

  "I do not wish to leave this spot," he murmured, angling his hips slightly, and felt him slip from inside me.

  I moaned at the loss.

  It was a strange feeling — a foreign emptiness when he was not a part of me.

  Having him there felt so natural. Now, as we held one another close, spent and quickly cooling in the chilly air, I wanted nothing but to feel him there again.

  For all eternity.

  He sighed and nuzzled his mouth against my shoulder, holding me tightly against the length of his body. His eyes followed his fingers as they wandered along my body, taking in every inch of my skin.

  "Did I hurt you?" he whispered, tracing along my hip and pulling me closer to him.

  I looked into his eyes and shook my head.

  "No," I replied and let my lips trace over his jaw until they found his lips, his mouth opening up to my searching kiss.

  "Did I please you?" he murmured against my lips and nibbled on my bottom lip lazily.

  “Oh yes,” I breathed, giggling when a bright smile broke out over his face.

  I sighed into his mouth while I threaded my fingers into his damp hair at the base of his neck. His lips moved to my ear, delivering slow open-mouthed kisses as he hummed and adjusted me against him, crushing my breasts into his solid chest.

  "I love having you against me," he whispered and rolled us over until he was laying partially on me, his eyes closed while his lips trailed down along my collarbone.

  My limbs felt weak, but my heart beat a little faster, even as he laid his head gently against my breast and sighed contentedly.

  "I am happy to feel you here," he murmured against my breast. The roughness of his stubble felt good against my soft flesh.

  "I wrote you another poem for tonight," he murmured, lifting his head just enough so that he could look up with heavy-lidded eyes.

  "Are you going to recite it for me?" I asked, grinning.

  I was already sated, but his words would be the perfect way to complete our joining.

  He sighed and kissed my lips slowly, his tongue entering for a moment before he pulled away.

  "My love has lips I shall taste again and again, for her lips taste like heaven."

  He dipped down, taking one nipple into his mouth, sucking on it languidly.

  "My love has nectar that floats on her skin, for she is an Angel and she tastes divine."

  His hand slid across my stomach, fingertips skirting lower until he found me, wet and needy once more.

  "My love is always ready for my touch, for her body is made for me as if by His plan."

  He pulled me tight against him, his body lining up with mine, truly as if we were made for one another. He let his lips wander, from my e
ar to my jaw, finally finding my lips to offer me a tender kiss.

  "My love will always have me wanting, because she and I are one, together forever and always."

  I threaded my hand through his hair, enjoying his low groan vibrate through me.

  His fingertips skirted along my side and down my hip absently, finally slowing at my thigh and grazing the inside of it, pressing it slightly to open me to his exploration. The backs of his fingers trailed up the fleshy part of my leg, making me moan at the warming inside me.

  My heart had barely slowed from our first foray of making love, and then with his beautiful words I needed him again. My mouth found his, and I kissed him until I felt him melt against me. He sighed and adjusted his head, laying it along my shoulder, his face relaxed in a contented smile.

  "If you are not too sore, I would like to feel you again?" he mumbled, clearly sleepy.

  I giggled and traced my fingers down his sturdy back, enjoying the extra weight of him when I pressed my palms to his buttocks.

  "You have me forever, my husband," I whispered against his temple.

  He hummed into my skin and kissed my heart sweetly.

  "I just need a moment to rest," he replied, his words already garbled.

  I felt around with one foot and slowly worked the blankets up over us to keep warm. Nathan tucked in against me, his warmth lulling me into a relaxed and satisfying sleep.

  Or more like a brief nap.

  I wasn't complaining.

  Waking up in the middle of the night to Nathan's lips while he gently nudged my thigh around his waist would always be welcome. Feeling him move inside me was far more fulfilling than only dreaming of it.

  And with the initial fear of not satisfying the other behind us, we both relaxed and enjoyed one another at a more leisurely pace. Soft touches, gentle exploration.

  Perhaps we would skip breakfast in the morning.

  Slow and attentive Nathan was much more satisfying.

  There was nothing like finally being one with Nathan Fisher.

  CHAPTER 18

  The sunlight filtered through the window, catching on the crisp white sheet that covered me at my waist. A glint of gold caught my eyes and I focused on the light shining through Nathan’s hair, tousled and tickling against my stomach as he lay curled against me. One arm draped low on my waist, his head heavy on my stomach while he slept.

  The rest of him lay tucked in close to me, one leg tangled with my own in the sheet that had worked its way down in the early hours. Or perhaps that was where it had ended up after the last time Nathan had awoken and made love to me.

  I smiled into the air at the memory, still a little dreamlike in the middle of the night.

  He had been eager to prove his fourth wind sometime before dawn. My body was mildly sore from the events of the night before, but nothing I could say bothered me enough to want to move from my spot.

  Nathan’s warm naked body on mine was how I always wanted to wake up.

  Unfortunately, the Amish had a daily routine.

  And as if that wasn’t enough, there was never any time for a honeymoon with the Amish.

  I was contemplating staying in bed with my husband all day when I heard a noise outside. Horses nickering and men talking, and someone downstairs in the kitchen.

  I could even smell bacon.

  “Nathan,” I hissed, nudging him lightly so as not to panic him.

  Even though I was panicked myself.

  I was naked, with my husband happily sated on top of me.

  This was not how I wanted Fannie to find us.

  He hummed and hugged me tighter, his body stirring to life in ways I knew we wouldn’t be able to quell, given the activity outside.

  “Nathan, wake up,” I said a little more insistently. “There’s someone cooking downstairs.”

  “Good,” he murmured. “I am famished.”

  His head jerked up then and he looked around, his face pink where it had been resting on me.

  “Someone is downstairs,” he said, as if I had not just said it.

  I slid out from underneath him and snatched up my shift off the floor, hustling to get some clothes on before someone came up to serve breakfast, or worse, ask us why we were not up to do chores.

  “It sounds like the whole community is here,” Nathan said, walking to the window and looking out. He chuckled and I watched as he waved before turning back toward me, naked and glowing in the light through the window.

  Given any other day, I might enjoy the beauty of him.

  But at the moment, there were people to attend to. I peeked out through the window and gasped at the sight below. What looked like a gathering had begun in our yard, men and wagons coming and going with supplies, while women walked in and out from our porch with armfuls of food and clothes.

  “We had best get dressed. It looks as if our Bishop has plans for us today,” Nathan said, laughing as he found his clothes on the chair and started getting dressed.

  I disappeared into the bathroom, splashing water on my face hurriedly before I drew my hair up under my cover, trying to look at least presentable when I greeted everyone. I somehow knew it was clear what we had been up to, based on Nathan’s smile and my flushed cheeks as we made our way downstairs. People I had only just come to know greeted us as we passed down our hallway, smiling pleasantly and keeping their opinions quiet as we stepped out onto the porch.

  Sarah and Mrs. Yoder took me by the arms, away from Nathan. I glanced back at him to see him smile as he watched me, his eyes bright and filled with so much joy I swore that they shone in the shade of the porch.

  "You look very well this morning, Katherine," Sarah was saying, smiling when she noticed my blush deepen.

  "The men wanted to come early," Mrs. Yoder scoffed. "Clearly they do not remember their wedding night."

  The two women laughed a little loudly and squeezed me when I cleared my throat, trying to come to terms with their frankness.

  I was beginning to understand now why it seemed so normal for the wedded couple to remain at the parents' house for several days. I was instantly grateful for having my time alone with Nathan now.

  I didn't think I could handle Fannie or Jonah speaking so easily about how fresh and glowing I seemed, or perhaps how joyful Nathan was. There was certainly a bounce in his step and his smile was wider as he made his way toward Benjamin near the barn.

  We looked like Mark and Hannah had their first morning!

  I chuckled and shook my head, resigned to the fact that everyone knew, because they had been there before. So I held my head a little higher and smiled a little brighter, because in truth I had never felt as good as I did today. And now the community had come to our aid and was showering us with the things we most needed.

  How perfect was this group of people?

  I was stunned by their charity.

  I had expected Sarah and some of the women to come by today with a few canned goods perhaps, maybe a quilt or two. I had not expected over a dozen women with their daughters, and crates upon crates of goods for us.

  "This should help with the winter," Sarah was saying as she instructed the stream of women into the house.

  "It's too much," I breathed, overwhelmed as the counters began to fill up, the table long covered by so many crates.

  Sarah and Mrs. Yoder both scoffed and shook their heads at me.

  "It is something we would have done regardless, Katherine. But with your strength and courage, it was important that we show you how grateful we are as well," Mrs. Yoder said, hugging me tight.

  I let out a breath and fought to hold back my emotions.

  "It was important to outfit Nathan and his new bride," Sarah continued as she pointed some young girls toward the cellar with crates of jarred goods.

  She turned to me and looked a little sad.

  "When his family died, we tried to offer him this same charity but he pushed us away," she said, and then looked around the room wistfully. "I am so happy to see life her
e once more."

  Her eyes captured mine for a moment, and I suddenly understood just how close so many must have been to the Fishers when they were alive. This community was tightly bound. More than just Nathan had suffered when his family died. I could see from Sarah's welcoming spirit and her unabashed support of both Nathan and myself that she was a close member to the Fisher family. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close for a moment.

  "We'll see this house is full of life again, Sarah," I whispered and laughed when I heard her chuckle.

  I knew what she thought.

  And strangely, the idea of having a house full of children running around didn't sound nearly as terrifying to me as it might have a few months ago. I knew I had family here to help out.

  "All right," I said, trying to change the subject. "Let's see about putting some of this away!"

  We set to work, filling up the cabinets with jars of vegetables and fruits and canned meats as well as bakery goods. I was shocked at how much there actually was. Sarah told me each of the families of our community had donated a crate of food to us, and I was learning that every family traded with one another when someone would grow one type of food, allowing for quite a varied array of stores for the winter. Our cabinets filled up quickly, and soon we were walking crates down into the basement.

  Finally I was able to find the basement and laughed when I saw the nice washer near the back of the large room. I shook my head when Mrs. Yoder looked at me questioningly. They didn't need to know that this was my first time in the basement of my house. When we finally made it up to the kitchen once more, I noticed that the table top, which had been cleared away of all the crates, was now covered with bundles of clothes.

  Mrs. Yoder cleared her throat and looked through them with careful attention.

  "We know you came with little when you arrived into our lives, Katherine. Some of the women thought you might like some of their dresses and coats for the coming winter. It can get quite cold, and you will not want to depend on only a couple of dresses to get you through," she explained.

  I looked at the mounds of clothes there, seeing some that were most definitely not for me.