Renewing Hope (In Your World #2)

by Jennyfer Browne

  "What's wrong with Hannah?" I asked, looking around for her.

  I had seen Mark, but not Hannah.

  Was she ill?

  "She will be fine," Fannie said reassuringly. "She stepped out to the garden to gather up the last of the squash for you."

  "Is she okay?" I asked, looking out toward the garden and not seeing her there.

  "She will be fine after midday meal," Fannie replied and returned to gathering up the next platter to take outside.

  I looked over at Emma who shook her head and leaned in close.

  "She was ill yesterday most of the day, and this morning. Refuses to simply stay in bed. It is not like Mother to be so relaxed about her daughter's illness!" she huffed and stalked after Fannie with a basket of bread in her hands.

  I looked again toward the garden, still not seeing her among the buggies and the dying vines there. I had thought I had stripped the last of the squash from the garden the day before. I made my way out the garden to see if Hannah needed help.

  I didn't like the idea of her being here if she was ill.

  I grew more alarmed when I found her huddled beside a buggy, kneeling as if to hide from us.

  "Hannah?"

  Her head lifted up and I could tell that she had been sick. Her eyes were puffy and her lips were puckered as she wiped them on her apron.

  "I am sorry, Katherine," she mumbled hoarsely. "I thought I would be better today."

  "You shouldn't be here if you're sick, Hannah," I said softly and rubbed her back when she turned from me to heave once more.

  She leaned back and closed her eyes when the nausea passed.

  "Mother says it will pass. I do not wish this on anyone, Katherine. The nausea," she muttered and wiped her mouth again.

  "Was it something you ate? What did you have for breakfast?" I asked, grimacing when she turned quickly to try and heave the bile from her stomach.

  "Please," she groaned. "Do not talk of food."

  "Sorry," I whispered and returned my hand to her back as she coughed and heaved once more.

  When she sat back again to look at me, she let out a weak laugh.

  "I am sorry. I should have stayed out of the kitchen this morning. Every smell sets my stomach turning. And Mother just smiles and says it will pass, like she knows," she groused.

  I blinked and sat there in front of her for a moment, the clues clicking into place.

  "Oh my goodness, Hannah! You're pregnant!" I exclaimed.

  Her eyes softened and a weak grin appeared on her face.

  "Two months, I believe," she said quietly.

  "Hannah! This is wonderful! It's just morning sickness!" I laughed and hugged her tightly.

  "Except it lasts much longer than simply the morning, no matter what Mother may think," she grumbled into my shoulder and hugged me back weakly.

  I looked down at her, seeing her a little differently as she sat there. She was pale, but already I could see her face and body had filled out a little more. Something you might think better eating could do, but it was obvious she wasn't holding much down lately. She looked a little tired, but her smile and glimmering eyes told me she was happy for this news.

  "Does Emma know?" I asked, sitting down beside her.

  She shook her head.

  "I was going to say something this morning, but we have been so busy, and she was upset when I disappeared from the kitchen," she replied.

  "Emma thinks you are really sick, you should say something," I whispered, pulling her hand into mine and squeezing it hard.

  "I told you I would be first," she sighed and her smile warmed at her success.

  "I would hope so. I'd like to have older cousins for my kids to look up to, after all," I said, beaming. "I'm so happy for you, Hannah. Mark must be proud."

  She grunted and nodded.

  "I am surprised he has not announced it to everyone yet.”

  "And Fannie must be so excited!" I said, thinking how much she wanted to be a grandmother, even if she was too young in my eyes for that.

  Hannah rolled her eyes and let out a breath.

  "She is already making clothes and pulled down the cradle yesterday," she said, shaking her head carefully.

  "So this morning sickness lasts a while, then?" I asked, wondering how Nathan would handle it when it happened to me. It would worry him to death.

  "I wake up starving, I try to eat something simple like dry toast, and it comes right back up," she explained. "The nausea is worse when I smell food cooking. By supper I can eat something simple, most days."

  "Well, let's give you something to do away from the kitchen then," I said and helped her up slowly.

  "I suppose I could carry water," she replied.

  "And the kids are playing over by the pasture. Maybe you can watch over them," I suggested, watching her smile widen.

  "Thank you, Katherine. I do not know what I would do without my sisters," she whispered and hugged me to her again.

  "Thank you for being my sister," I murmured. "I am here for anything you need, okay?"

  "Just do not let me near food. And tell that husband of mine to be kinder to me or I will hurt him when he sleeps," she grumbled.

  "What has Mark done?" I asked, laughing when she scowled at me.

  "He could have waited a month or two before he got me with child," she huffed.

  "Well, I think he loves you," I replied and pulled her toward the pasture where the children played. "I have a feeling he wants nothing more than to please you."

  "Then he needs to stop smiling like a fool every time he looks at me," she said, scowling toward the men working.

  "He loves you, Hannah. You both have every reason to be proud of this news. You are going to have a little one!" I said excitedly.

  She nodded and wiped at her eyes, trying to disguise the tears from me.

  Still a tough Hannah, but now with a tender side to her.

  "He will be unbearable, you realize. Acting like he is the first man to get his wife pregnant," she sighed and offered me another weak smile when we drew up close to the children playing.

  "You'll keep him in check," I retorted, laughing with her for a moment before leaving her with the kids, her color returning as she occupied herself with a task that didn't trouble her stomach.

  It was difficult to see Hannah as a mother until I watched her interact with the kids. She might have been a little gruff, but she kept them in line and even smiled when the smaller children drew her into a game of Duck Duck Goose.

  When I returned to the business of laying out food for the midday meal, I caught Fannie watching me, her smile broad and her head nodding slightly. She glanced to Hannah, and I knew she had watched us as we walked. I nodded and laughed quietly to myself, returning to the kitchen to put more water on the stove for dishes later.

  When the mealtime bell rang out, a skeletal formation of a barn stood before us.

  Nathan took the towel I held for him after he had rinsed off, his eyes taking me in while I watched him. We sat at the same table as Benjamin and Fannie and Jonah, while Emma and John sat with Hannah and Mark one table over. Emma and Hannah must have talked, because Emma was constantly whispering into her sister's ear with a brilliant smile, while Hannah looked to be in much better spirits.

  Benjamin held up his hands to quiet down the congregation, his eyes falling on us as he spoke.

  "So much love here today, I surely feel blessed! So many of you have come today and put forth so much energy to help our newest couple in need," he started, smiling at us before he continued.

  "I have so much to be thankful for this day. A loving community that comes together on this beautiful day. I am thankful for my friends that, again and again, show me what it means to live in the light. Nathan and Katherine are two of the kindest souls I know, so it warms my heart to see their love for one another, and to know that this barn will be a good start for their future.

  "Evil may try to pull us down, but we rise up from the ashes better men. Stron
ger and more resolute in our beliefs. What happened here was a tragedy. But from the remains come hope and life. From hope and life comes solidarity. Thank you to so many for coming today to help Nathan and Katherine begin their life. When one is in need, we come together. That is so true today. From far and wide, we have come, and I know that God sees that. We are all truly blessed today.

  "So let us enjoy this feast that so many have worked to provide," Benjamin continued. "And let this new barn be a start that the Fishers can enjoy for many years to come!"

  There were many murmurings of “Amen” around the yard and soon we were eating happily beside one another. Nathan's hand brushed against my thigh many times, his smile glowing under his slightly flushed face. Benjamin and Nathan spoke about the coming winter, while Fannie and I spoke quietly about plans for the animals as soon as the barn was finished.

  "We can keep half the cattle, so that the burden will be less for the two of you," she was saying. "Once the snow falls, you will not want to be out in it for long."

  Truth be told, I didn't want to be out in the cold much at all. I smiled into my cup at the idea of keeping warm inside with Nathan.

  "The Snyders were asking about the cows this morning," Nathan said as he listened to our conversation.

  "Who are the Snyders?" I asked, noticing Benjamin’s sudden blush at mention of the name.

  It was an interesting reaction.

  "They live in Friendship," Nathan explained. "They own a successful dairy farm there. Something my father had always wanted to do. But it is not what I want. They offered a good price for most of the cows, and offered to deliver us cheese and the like whenever we wished."

  "That sounds like a good deal," Jonah said. "Keep a few for yourself and have them provide you with the product. Much better than having to learn to make your own cheese."

  "I can go with you to speak with the Snyders if you like," Benjamin added, his smile wavering when he caught me watching him curiously.

  Nathan nodded and continued with his meal, smiling down at me with ease.

  As the meals finished up, and as the desserts disappeared, the men returned to the task looming in the afternoon sunlight. I watched as they prepared the last, large truss, running ropes through a point at the top. The men grouped together, the larger men pulling on the rope to raise it while many others braced it with large lengths of wood to keep it from falling back.

  Up in the rafters again stood my husband. Nathan braced against a beam and hammered in the span for the last rib, all concentration as his arm worked. I knew he would be tired tonight. Climbing and balancing, and then hammering and sawing things into place the old fashioned way had to take a lot out of a person. He would feel accomplished, but he would be sore and tired also.

  I smiled at the thought of preparing a bath for him and busied myself with clearing away the dishes, joining my close friends in the kitchen to begin clean up. Dishes were done much more quickly when there were several hands to do them. I tried to offer the women all the leftovers we had, but Sarah and many of the elder women refused to listen to me, wrapping up much of the food to place in the freezer for deep winter.

  Looking at our bursting cupboards and now our full freezer, I had no doubt we would have a better winter than Nathan had ever hoped for.

  We made many sandwiches with the meat and bread left over so that the men had something to eat late in the afternoon while they worked. Unlike at the Wittmer Frolic, many of the men chose to stay late so that the outer walls and roof were completed on our barn.

  The women helped around the house, clearing away anything that had come in from the day, even to be so helpful as to help me organize our closets upstairs. I found several coats and heavier dresses in the lot the women had brought the day before, so as the afternoon sun slowly dipped into the hill behind us, I sat with Hannah and Fannie on the porch to take in some of the dresses for me. I was standing with my third winter dress on when I looked out over the yard to find Benjamin speaking with a woman I didn't recognize.

  He was fiddling with his hat in his hands, looking down often as he spoke. I was pretty sure he didn't catch half the smiles she threw at him because he was so busy toying with his hat. But I didn't know the dark-haired girl. She was about my age and tall, almost as tall as Benjamin, and her smile seemed to only be for him.

  "Who is that girl Benjamin is talking to?" I asked.

  Fannie looked up from her pins and pulled the few out of her smiling mouth.

  "That is one of the Snyder girls. She is the youngest of them, I think. I cannot remember her name though. Look at him, so nervous," she said, the teasing tone of a mother clear in her voice.

  I raised my eyebrow at Fannie, remembering the conversation earlier about the Snyders being interesting in our cows, and then Benjamin’s blush.

  "She has brought him lemonade all day,” Abigail chimed in, grinning.

  “I am amazed he has not turned into a lemon for all the drink he has endured with her," Emma chuckled.

  "Perhaps our new Bishop has found a purpose," Hannah mumbled against my hip, pinning up the expansive waistline.

  "Well, he deserves it. I think I need to meet her," I said.

  "Leave them be for now, Katherine. He is not doing so badly, even with his nerves. She looks quite content to remain in his company. Much like you did when you courted Nathan," Fannie replied and smiled knowingly before returning to the base hem.

  "Well they better finish that barn soon then," I murmured, catching Emma's giggle at my words.

  There was no reason why Benjamin couldn't take advantage of a little barn time on his own. And the corn was long gone, so he really had nowhere to walk with the Snyder girl. So they remained standing by the buggies, talking and offering one another a timid smile before they would look away again.

  It was cute to watch.

  I hoped their community wasn’t too far away. With Zachariah Ropp marrying Naomi Yoder at the end of the month, perhaps there would be another reason to see the Snyders. And the selling of our cattle would be yet another chance. Benjamin would be a part of that to be sure. I smiled and tried to watch them discreetly; excited that my friend had perhaps found someone finally.

  Benjamin deserved a good woman.

  And this Snyder girl looked like she would be good to him.

  There was hope that maybe he had indeed found the right girl.

  The sun was setting when I shook the hands of the last group of men from Friendship who had remained to finish the exterior planking of most of the barn. Only one side remained exposed, and Nathan was already talking excitedly with Mark and John about finishing it in a day or so.

  Mark and Hannah said their goodnights, Mark holding her close as they disappeared over the hill toward their home. John and Emma left soon after, and Abigail with Fannie and Jonah, leaving us to stand alone before our new barn. Nathan sighed and took off his hat in the fading sunlight, wiping away the sweat that lingered on his forehead. Taking his hand, I walked toward the huge expanse that would soon be doors leading into the stables.

  The layout would have to be figured out. When we stepped inside, it was dark and wide open. We would have the chance to make the barn into whatever we wished it to be. Nathan's arm wrapped around my shoulder, holding me to him as we looked around.

  "The stalls will go over here on this wall," he said quietly, pointing toward the wall closest to us. "And there will be a room for storing feed. My workshop will remain in the back, as well as a new storage area for tack and the like. And the hayloft will be above us here."

  At the mention of a hayloft, I felt his arm tighten, pulling me into him as his mouth descended. His lips tasted salty from the long day of work, his body overheated from the sun. But his arms were still strong as he held me tightly, his mouth searching. I felt the new wall behind me, felt his body press up against mine with delightful strength as he pinned me there between the barn wall and himself. My hands roamed across his chest, tugging on the suspenders. His head pul
led away, eyes dark and breath heavy as he watched me slide the suspenders down along his sides.

  "I am dirty," he whispered hoarsely.

  "Filthy, I know," I whispered back, pulling his shirt out from his pants.

  "You do not mind?" he asked and groaned when he felt me tug him closer.

  My mouth on his was proof enough that I did not mind the smell of him. My hands wound up into his hair, knocking off his hat, feeling him push me up against the wall with a little more enthusiasm as our mouths moved together. The cool air of the closing night washed over my legs, Nathan slowly tugging my skirt up my hip to move against me a little more firmly.

  "I missed you today," he whispered against my cheek as his lips trailed along my skin.

  His lips found my throat, and any words were lost when I felt his teeth graze my neck. Whimpering, I arched into him, wanting him closer.

  I needed him closer.

  And judging by his hard body and throaty moan as he moved against me, he needed it as much as I did. I felt his hands work their way up my waist, ghosting over my breasts before cupping my head to deepen the kiss once more. When he drew away, he was breathing heavily.

  "I want you," he breathed, licking at his lips as his eyes drank me in.

  "So have me."

  He let out a heavy breath and leaned in to kiss me again when we heard a buggy pull up just outside and the familiar voice of our new Bishop call out to us. I felt Nathan sag against me and sigh across my temple.

  "Remind me when he is newly married to be sure to call on him at the most inopportune moments," he murmured, joining me in laughter as we pulled apart and straighten our clothes before venturing out to a slightly abashed Benjamin.

  "Sorry, did I interrupt plans for the barn?" he said, fighting his smile.

  "We got a few things worked out," I said, watching Nathan slowly draw up his suspenders with a scowl.

  "I just wanted to say that the Snyders will be at the Yoder wedding. And they are definitely interested in the cows. Could be a good trade before winter," he said.

  "Excellent," Nathan said, his voice only a little strained as he held me a bit tighter.