Silent Love [Part 4]
Page 4
“Gage is going, right?” Macey asked, not even glancing at me as she watched the TV.
“Yeah, he is. I think he is nervous about it, but he won’t say it.” Men and their manliness.
“I would be too if I were going into that lion’s den for the first time.” I rolled my eyes at her wording but couldn’t help agreeing. For a first timer, it was a little intimidating being around such people. The richest people in New York in one place.
Over the years I’d learned to ignore the stares of jealous women and their judging looks. If you let their stares and looks get to you, the night will just end up being torture. Both Macey and I had learned that the hard way.
“Just don’t tell him that. He can figure it out on his own.”
“Can you believe this year?” Macey asked after a few minutes of silence.
“What about it?” I glanced over at her.
“We just finished our first semester of college, both of us are in love with two amazing guys—guys that we never thought we would be with—and that we haven’t gained any college weight.” I laughed at the last part.
“You are right about that.” I smiled, but she was right. It was crazy how everything turned out. If you told me a few months ago I would be in love with someone other than Ethan, or that my best friend would be dating my brother, I would have laughed in your face.
“I, for one, never thought I would date Luke.” We never really talked about her dating my brother, and I was actually curious as to how it all happened.
“How did that happen, anyway? For as long as I have known you, you two have never liked one another,” I said. I noticed a smile spread across her face. I never really noticed how happy my best friend was until now. She had always been a happy person, but ever since she got with Luke, she seemed even happier. That was all I wanted for her, especially after some of her previous boyfriends.
Macey never said it or even showed it, but she did get hurt when she broke up with past boyfriends. There was always something that happened that just crushed her time after time. I just hoped my dumb-ass brother wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.
“It was the same party where you left with Gage. Luke asked me to dance, and suddenly it all seemed to just click. I never saw your brother as anything other than an annoying tick, you know. But he has a really sweet, romantic side.” She practically swooned.
“You wouldn’t think he could be so sweet, but when he holds me, I just—”
“Okay, ew! No, I don’t need to hear that.” I scrunched up my nose and covered my ears. “Gross.” Even with my ears covered I could hear her laughing.
“You asked!”
“Just…no.”
“I am just glad he asked me to dance that night.” She grinned.
“Even if he is my brother, I will kill him if he hurts you.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less.” We smiled at one another before turning back to watch Supernatural on TV.
***
“All my babies under the same roof.” Mom beamed and clapped her hands together as she moved around the living room. “And putting up Christmas decorations together.”
As normal, Ethan’s parents were not coming home for the holidays, as far I knew. His parents rarely came home to see their son and it pissed me off. He was their only son, but they could not care less. They of course only cared that he was going to take over the company one day.
Because this happened practically every year, Ethan was at our house. What my mom said was true: Ethan was her baby too, as she basically raised him. It was just normal for him to be here. I think if he weren’t, it would feel odd.
My dad wouldn’t be home until later, since it was only two in the afternoon. Mom wanted to have a big dinner with all of us, which meant she wanted to get us all fat. The boys were more than happy to eat everything my mom prepared.
Because the football season was over they could eat more fat food, which they were excited about. The football team went nine-to-one this season, and they were going to a college bowl in the new year; they just weren’t sure which one they were going to go to yet. The team was so good they were bowl bound anyway.
Mom waited until we were all home to put up Christmas stuff, as per tradition. Every year all of us put up the tree and other stuff around the house. Yesterday, Dad must have gotten all the Christmas stuff down from the garage for us to take care of today. Boxes on top of boxes littered the living room and I had to weave through them to get anywhere.
“Okay, tree first,” Mom stated as she moved to open the box that held the fake Christmas tree. We stopped buying real ones a few years ago, after they became too expensive and too much of a hassle. All the needles on the floor and everything was just too much work.
Both boys went over and helped my mom lift the heavy tree out. I went around trying to find the box that held the ornaments. My favorite part of decorating was putting the ornaments on the tree. It was always fun seeing the end result.
“So…Mom, when do we give you our Christmas lists? Because I got some good stuff on there,” Luke said as he and Ethan attached the pieces of the tree together.
“You can put it in the garbage like every year,” Mom shot back. I stifled a laugh. Every year Luke tried to give my parents a list of what they should get him for Christmas, and every year my mom told him the same thing. You would think he would learn by now.
We never did Christmas lists like some families. It was better if it was a surprise rather than something you know you are going to get. My parents were all for surprises and making us wait until Christmas Day to open presents.
“Damn, every year,” Luke said to Ethan while shaking his head.
“And this is news to you?” I commented, piling boxes of ornaments in my hands and heading in their direction.
“I thought it would work this year. I mean, I passed all my classes, our football team went nine-to one and we are going to a bowl game, and I have been a very good boy this year.”
“Okay, ew. Don’t say that again.” I faked throwing up. I came to a stop beside Ethan who sent me the same look.
“How do you even know that we got you something this year?” Mom asked, fanning out the branches on the tree.
“You wouldn’t do that, especially not to your firstborn.” When Mom didn’t say anything, Luke looked at her. “Right? You bought me something, right?” He actually looked like he was about to have a panic attack.
“Luke, you do realize that Christmas is about giving and sharing, not about getting presents, right? It is not all about you.”
“Then who is it about?” He actually looked serious as he said that.
“Mom, I think you brought home the wrong baby from the hospital.”
“I think so.”
Luke sent her an appalled look, to which she grinned.
“Please, everyone knows I am Mom’s favorite and that you are the one that was swapped at birth.”
“It is funny that you think you are Mom’s favorite. Everyone knows the youngest is the favorite and the best.” I shot Luke a smug smile. We continued bickering back and forth for a minute before I heard Ethan whisper to my mom: “When are we going to tell them I am your favorite?”
“They’ll figure it out sometime.” Mom smiled and shrugged.
“Hey!” Luke and I said at the same time.
“What? He is the only one who doesn’t make me want to pull my hair out.” Ethan shot the both of us a triumphant look, and we glared at him.
“Mom is delusional.” Luke shook his head.
“She is just too excited to have us home, so she doesn’t know what she is thinking.”
“Don’t worry, Mom, we will get you better.” Luke went over to my mom and pulled her into a tight hug. Mom looked over his shoulder at me with a weird look on her face.
“Don’t ask me, he is your son.” I held my hands up and turned around. Behind me Luke kept telling Mom she will be fine soon while I grabbed ornaments to put them on the tree.
We made small talk as we decorated. It felt nice to be home with my family and just relax. I didn’t know how much I missed my mom until I was with her. I missed home too, and how I felt from just being here.
Of course, as we worked I couldn’t help but wonder what Gage was up to. I knew he went to his grandma’s for the break. At least I didn’t have to worry about him being alone.
Everyone went home for the break. Dylan went home to his mother’s, but he did say he would spend more time at Gage’s than anything. Amy was at her parents’, not that far from my house, although I expected her to be over quite a bit, since Ethan was here.
It had only been a few hours, and I already missed Gage. This morning we did see each other off, but it wasn’t like we were saying goodbye. I would be seeing him tomorrow and on Friday, at the Christmas party. It just felt weird knowing he was further away now than when he was on campus.
“Carter,” Mom said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yeah?” I peeked from around the tree at her.
“Remember, this year you are doing the speech at the party.” I instantly froze.
“What? I thought it was Luke’s year!” I stared at her wide-eyed. Every year my parents made one of us say a small speech in honor of the cause we supported. I thought it was Luke’s year, so I hadn’t even thought about it. I hated doing it too, since I hated speaking in front of people. Every time I stuttered through my speech before running off stage and hiding in a corner. This year would be no different.
“He went last year.”
“Then what about Ethan?” I glanced over at him, trying to find a way to get out of it.
“He went the year before. Honey, you will be fine.”
“Mom, I don’t even have a speech ready and it is in three days!”
“I know you have done an essay a day before it was due, so I think you can do this.”
“Maybe this year we don’t do it. Maybe Dad does it.” She sent me a look.
“Your father always does the big speech.”
“You…” I trailed off and sent her a small smile, hoping she would just say she would do it.
“Carter, no. You are doing it this year.” When she sent me a hard look, I knew that was the end of the discussion.
Well, shit.
***
For the next two days I struggled to come up with a speech. I didn’t want it to sound too cold or too funny, and I didn’t want it to be long. No one liked long speeches anyway.
I had tried everything to get out of doing this. I asked my dad and even gave him the best puppy-dog eyes I could, but all he said was, “Sorry, hon, your mother already threatened me not to let you quit.” What kind of father was he? I even tried to bribe Luke and Ethan into doing it, but neither budged. I think they secretly liked to see me squirm and get embarrassed.
“Princess, you are freaking out too much about this.”
“Gage, I have to make a speech in front of tons of people! People who judge like crazy and who don’t bother hiding their hate for you,” I said through the phone as I stared down at the piece of paper in front of me.
“What charity are you supporting? Start with that first.” Gage coached me through the phone. Both of us had been busy with our families, and we had not seen each other since Tuesday; now it was Thursday afternoon. I was starting to have withdrawals.
Because I was so stressed about this, I called him up hoping he would help or take my mind off it. So far all it had done was make me miss him even more. I wanted him to come over to hang out, but I knew if he came over, I wouldn’t get this done and it needed to get done today because the party was tomorrow.
“It is to help raise money for the children’s community center. The center is a place where any kid can go to read, play sports, be in a safe haven. For kids on the streets, it is a good way to keep them out of trouble, and it is run by all volunteer staff. I even volunteered there over the summer when it first started,” I said, smiling.
Besides the fact that my dad paid for the land and the construction of the place, I volunteered on my own. My dad did tell us about it, and it just made me want to do something. Plus, I love kids, so to help them out in any way was great. They even had me paint a mural in the front entrance for everyone to see.
“Use that. Talk about your experience volunteering there and what the center does for the community. If you make it personal and meaningful, people are more likely want to donate to help.” At his advice, I paused. That was actually a good idea. Making it more personal would make writing the speech easier, as well as speaking. I could do that.
“That is a great idea, Gage!” I exclaimed through the phone. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. “You are great, you know that?”
“Of course I am. I mean, you are dating me, remember?” he teased through the phone. I shook my head but grinned.
“Thank you. That helps me a lot. What would I do without you?” I said the last part quietly.
“You’d die.”
“Well thank you. Glad to know that,” I replied sarcastically.
“You are welcome.” I could hear his grin through the phone.
“I wish you could come over. You can, if you want to.” I twirled my pen in my hand as I talked. It would be great if he could come over and hang out for a bit.
“I wish I could, but Grandma is actually making me help her fix stuff around the house.” Gage groaned.
“Aw, look at you, being a good grandson,” I cooed.
“She is basically blackmailing me. I don’t see how that is right.”
“She is your grandma. She can do whatever she wants. That includes blackmailing you to do stuff around the house.”
“It is child abuse,” he muttered.
“You are over eighteen, doofus. It isn’t considered child abuse anymore.”
“Same difference.”
“I can see your grandma doing that, though.” I grinned.
“That’s not a good thing, Car! That means she could do it to me all the time!”
“Gage, it isn’t like you are being beaten to death. You are just doing some work for a poor, weak old lady.”
“My gram is the furthest thing from weak nor old. And she reminds me daily about that.” I loved Gage’s grandma. She was great and reminded me a lot of my own grandma. She didn’t take shit and loved to tease you, but you knew she loved you a lot.
“Oh, suck it up and help your poor grandma!”
“That’s the kind of thanks I get for helping you with your speech!”
“Yep.” My grin grew wider. “Love you.”
“Doesn’t feel like it.” I laughed out loud.
“Oh, stop, you know I love you. And thank you for the help again.”
“No problem, babe.” I felt my heart soar at the term of endearment. “I better go before my grandma kills me. If you don’t hear from me in a few hours, my body will probably be in my gram’s garden, ’kay?”
“Okay, thanks for the heads up. I’ll make sure to check there.”
“Good luck with your speech. You will nail it. I love you,” Gage said.
“Love you too. Good luck with your grandma.” Saying goodbye, I ended the call. I grinned widely down at my phone. God, I couldn’t love him any more. As I went to put my phone down on my desk, my hand stopped as my home screen came up.
A few weeks ago, Gage stole my phone and took a picture of himself and put it as my home screen. I wasn’t even sure when he did it, but it was probably my favorite picture of him. He rarely liked to get his photo taken, so him voluntarily taking a selfie and putting it on my phone for me to see daily, was very sweet of him.
I grinned at the picture and stopped myself from calling Gage back. He had stuff to do and s
o did I. I would be seeing him tomorrow anyway for the party, so I could wait. I have self-control…okay, no, I didn’t, but I could try.
“Carter, you can do this. Just write what comes to mind,” I chanted to myself.
***
It was finally the night of the Christmas party. I had been waiting all week for this, so I could see Gage again, but I was also dreading it because of my speech. Yesterday, I had my parents look over the speech to make sure it sounded okay, and I practiced for a good hour or more, not wanting to mess it up.
I tried to get my mind off it and just focus on the fact I would see Gage in a suit later on. One of the reasons I wasn’t freaking out too bad was because I knew Gage would be there to calm me down. I would also have Luke, Ethan, Amy, and Macey there as well.
All I hoped for was that I didn’t fall on the way up to the mic, and that I didn’t forget my speech and just stutter through it. More likely I would do one of those two things, if not both. That was how I rolled.
“Okay, enough with the speech. Get over here so I can do your makeup,” Macey said, interrupting me reading through my speech for the hundredth time.
“But—”
“You can go through it again after I am done. If we don’t get started, we will be late.” She huffed, placing her hands on her hips and glaring over at me. Sighing, I knew I had to do what she said. Placing my notecards on the desk, I went over to my vanity and sat down in front of Mace.
“Just hold still for twenty minutes and you will be good to go,” she instructed. Not wanting to get on her bad side, I did as she asked. You never say no to a girl who has your face in her hands. She could make you look like a clown or poke your eyes with eyeliner. So I wisely just sat there and let her work her magic.
“How has the break been so far?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.
“It has been good. You know, other than missing my boyfriend, crying and begging to not speak at this event and eat my feelings…it has been good.”
“Sounds very normal.”
“I don’t see why Luke couldn’t do the speech. I mean, everyone loves him and he can speak in front of a crowd and not care, same with Ethan,” I moaned.