by Vi Carter
"Oh my god. That is him, isn’t it? I see the appeal. He is rather dishy." I didn’t want to talk about it, so I turned away. “Grace.” Amber stopped me, her serious tone hadn't gone unnoticed. “I’ve upset you?” Now she looked upset, and like that, my anger disappeared. I hugged her. I seemed to be a bit touchy today.
I shook my head apologetically, “I didn’t get to bed until one last night. It’s been a crazy day, that’s all.”
We left the building, and I gave Amber a lift to her place; she lived two houses down from her brother with a group of girls, Lisa included.
“So, what kept you up until one?” Amber asked the minute we were on the road.
“Watching TV with Craig.” I glanced at Amber, a frown pulled at her eyebrows.
“Please don’t tell–”
I cut her off. "Don’t finish that sentence. It was food and Netflix."
"You know people use that as a code for sex."
I laughed at her disgusted tone. "It’s not code. And don’t sound so disgusted. I’ve seen the guys you’ve slept with." I checked my mirror before taking a left.
“What the hell does that mean?” Amber tried to sound offended, but she knew.
“Craig is good-looking; some of the guys you have been with wouldn’t win any beauty pageants.”
“They might win other things.”
I glanced at Amber, and the dirty gleam in her eye had me closing my mouth.
I pulled into the drive, and immediately the front door opened, Lisa and Claire came out. “You never said she was here,” I said through smiling teeth to Amber, like a ventriloquist.
“I didn’t know.” Amber didn’t move her mouth either. We must have looked like two ninnies. I rolled down the window as Claire reached it.
"I am so, so sorry. Why won’t you answer your phone? I sent you like ten messages. It wasn’t my fault Craig was like a lunatic. And then he was apologizing. He said you would be fine. He told me to stay put."
My head started to pound at how quick her words came out of her mouth. She didn't take a breath. "Claire, it’s fine," I said when she finally took a breath.
"No, it’s not. I don’t want you and me falling out. You are my best friend."
Amber snorted, but thankfully Claire hadn’t heard her as she continued with her outpour.
"I mean, like, I had such a rough night. I was going out of my mind with Craig. He was a handful, Grace, you have no idea."
Oh, I did. I needed to stop her before she said something about Craig being on drugs. Amber would go mental. "Claire. Stop. It is fine. Me and you are good. I promise."
Claire’s eyes filled with tears. "Really?"
“Okay, that’s me.” Amber announced while opening her door.
Claire glanced at, her narrowing her eyes.
“We are good, Claire,” I said, on cue, Amber slammed the door.
“Okay drive safely, Grace.” Amber moved around to the driver’s side. Through all of this, Lisa had stood quietly to the side.
“Hi, Lisa. How are you?” I asked. She smiled sweetly.
“Great. You still coming Saturday night?” I raked my brain. What the hell did I have Saturday night?
“We wouldn’t miss it,” Amber said, and then I remembered.
“Can’t wait. I better go, guys.”
Claire nearly put half her body through the window to hug me. “I am so glad we are friends.” I patted her on the back.
“Get a room,” Amber said.
Claire let me go, and I didn’t waste another second. I waved and reversed out of the drive. Claire stood waving while Amber made crazy signs behind her back. I smiled.
I pulled in to my building. When I got to my floor, two of my neighbors lingered in the hall, giggling like school girls. When they saw me coming, they both greeted me. “We got a new one.” I made it my business not to mingle with my neighbors, even though most of them attended Clarke's college. They were mature students; that’s why I opted for this building. I didn’t want a party place.
“He’s cute.” I think her name was Maggie said. She must have been like fifty, and hearing her say cute had me smiling. “Try hot.” I raked my brain for the other woman’s name but couldn’t come up with one, Sandy, Cindy, something with a d-y at the end. I didn’t wait around to see the new cute/hot guy. Instead, I excused myself and entered my apartment.
I stuck a lasagna in the oven and scrolled through my messages. Any that I saw from Claire, I deleted. My phone service sent me one requesting for me to do a survey. I deleted that one, too. I checked my phone log, and my heart skipped a beat. I had a missed call from Rose. I quickly rang back. The ring tone sounded so loud, I chewed on my nails, as the nerves raced through my body. The moment Rose answered I nearly came out of my skin. “She’s okay, tell me she’s okay, Rose.”
“Calm down, Grace. She’s fine.” I lowered myself to the ground, still clutching the phone. “She had an episode today. I just wanted to let you know. But she is fine now.”
Tears dripped off my chin. “What kind of episode?” I asked keeping all the emotions out of my voice.
Rose paused.
“Rose.” I prompted.
She exhaled a breath. “She thought that James was here with her.”
I choked on a sob. “Why would she think that? I thought she was getting better.” I swallowed my next cry.
“She is, Grace. It just takes time. I’m not sure what triggered her lapse, this time.”
I rubbed my face. “I'm glad she can check out and play pretend while I have to stay here and face this shit alone.” My voice rose almost to a shout.
“Grace, Sweetheart, I am so sorry...” I took the phone away from my face as Rose continued to try to soothe me. It wasn’t her fault, and shouting at her wasn't going to fix anything.
When I calmed a bit, I put the phone back to my ear. “I’m sorry for screaming at you. Thank you for telling me,” I said.
"I’m always on the other end of a phone if you ever need to talk. You know that, Grace."
I wiped more tears away. "Thank you, Rose. See you next Sunday." I didn’t say goodbye, but hung up.
My stomach was in knots, my dinner unappealing. I turned off the cooker and switched off the lights before getting into bed, while pulling the blanket up over my head.
I think the worst part of it all was my father’s screams. Yeah, if someone said circle one thing, that’s what I would circle. I didn’t even see James at the time, but I knew he was dead. I knew something had reached in and tore that scream from my father. It had to be something unbearable, and it was.
CHAPTER SIX
GRACE
I WOKE UP WITH A pounding headache, my face swollen. The mirror confirmed it. Today, I put on make-up to try to hide the mess. I still looked tired, no matter how much make-up I put on. I got dressed for work and then left my apartment. I passed my new neighbor halfway down the hall. My feet halted while it took my brain a moment to catch up. “You,” I said, out loud while turning around.
My guy had been opening his apartment door, he looked at me. “Are you following me?”
I laughed thinking he must be making a joke, but when he didn’t smile, I got the message he wasn’t joking. “Following you? I live here,” I said.
He looked at me, disbelieving. My face flamed. He thought I was some crazy stalker chick.
“Okay,” he said and turned to leave. The ‘Okay’ sounded drenched in disbelief.
“Wait.” I rummaged through my bag for my keys. I would prove I wasn’t crazy. As I continued to rummage, he cleared his throat.
God damn bag.
“Just wait,” I growled as I emptied my bag on the floor.
“This isn’t necessary.” He sounded like he wanted to run. I cut him off when I found my keys. To drive my point home, I waved them in the air, like the mad woman he was accusing me of being. I walked with my head held high to my door, which was across from his. (Of course it was. This really couldn’t go any other way.)
>
I put the key in and opened the door. “See, I live here.” He still looked at me as if I was crazy. “Not following you,” I added as my cheeks flamed.
“Fine.” He didn’t smile, give me his name, nothing just the word fine. He closed his apartment door.
I blinked several times. What just happened? Did I step into an alternate universe where I was the laughingstock? Was this like The Truman Show? Was everyone at home laughing at my downfall? As I stood there, I realized I was going to be late for work. I gathered my bag and its belongings, along with my dignity, off the floor and made my way to work.
DEREK
I smiled when I entered my apartment. She was so easy to wind up. I really shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself. My phone rang, and I took it out of my back pocket, I glanced at the screen before answering it.
“What?”
“Just checking in—how is she?” Emmett’s voice sounded strained.
“Fine.” Moving to the bedroom, I pulled off my runners and socks as I sat on the side of the bed.
“Elaborate.” Emmett's voice held the threat that he didn’t voice.
“She’s hard to catch. She’s always running somewhere. Actually, hold on until I check her schedule.” Like a grade A Stalker. I got out of my jogging pants and pulled the t-shirt off over my head before entering the bathroom. “Oh, she’s at work now,” I said. Last night I had memorized her schedule as I couldn't sleep.
“When will you see her again?”
I held the phone away from my face, trying to rein in my irritation. I wanted to tell him how messed up this was but instead, I said, “Tomorrow.” He hung up without another word. I threw the phone on the bed and slid out of my boxers before getting into the shower.
GRACE
Today, Lisa and I would be working the same shift. I put my bag and coat in the locker and got on the floor. “Sorry I’m late.” I said as I stopped by Bernie’s office. She practically lived here, taking her manager's position to a whole new level of dedication. Bernie removed her glasses and looked up from the computer. “Can I get you a coffee? You look tired,” I said. She did. Bernie always looked tired. She worked way too hard.
“Coffee’s good. Thanks, Grace.” I left and made her the coffee. We had a full house, Lisa moved quickly around the floor. This place was a real flycatcher for college students. I loved working here. It kept me busy, and I needed to keep busy. I used to work the whole weekends too, but Amber talked me into giving them up. She didn’t think working so much would do my health any good. I didn’t think crying all day was healthy, but she won that battle.
“Hi, Lisa. Busy?” I said as she got her order together. “Yeah, and the tips tonight are great.” She filled her tray and returned to the floor. I quickly dropped off Bernie’s coffee and started to take orders. Craig arrived with Stanley. They didn't sit in my section; it was already full. It took me an hour and a half just to take orders and get them out. The coffee house must have refilled three times before I got a break. My feet ached. I was glad when my shift finally ended.
Leaving the madness behind me, the cold air from outside was refreshing from the stuffiness of the cafe. Some of the staff smoked here, but tonight no one was around. I leaned against the wall and let the silence soothe me. The rumble of my stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. I needed to eat, and to do that I had to return. I did reluctantly.
My head pounded as I made a salad. I ignored everything around me and took it out back. While eating it, I fought the tears that threatened to pour. I was an emotional wreck today. I couldn’t keep this up. I needed to close it off, I needed to take my sorrow and my pain and bury them again. It was my way of coping; I didn’t do the facing or analyzing it. I did the running and burying kind of coping.
After having a chat with myself, I felt better. I finished my shift and went home. Embarrassment flooded my face as I thought about the guy and our meeting earlier. I really hoped I didn’t see him again. Thankfully I didn’t. Instead, I took a shower and got some studying done and fed myself. I always watered my plant. It did look dead, but I refused to give up on it.
I fell into bed and into a deep sleep. No nightmares. Just blissful nothingness.
***
It was the blare of the fire alarm that woke me. I jumped out of bed and tripped, hitting the floor hard. My knees throbbed as I got up.
“Grace!” I raced to my front door as someone thumped on it. “Grace!” Maggie was in her nightdress. “Fire,” she said when I opened the door. She left, not waiting for me. Good to know she cared. I turned grabbed my plant and left the building, as well. In total, only six apartments filled the building. I did a headcount; my guy and the old man who lived downstairs weren't out. I gnawed on my lip, clutching my plant. Maggie, and the other woman with the ‘dy’ name, came over to me and we huddled together. I was freezing already. I had no footwear on, and was just wearing shorts and a t-shirt. “Anyone know what happened?” I asked while staring at the door, hoping someone would walk through it. The blare of the fire alarm still rang.
“Not a clue. Where is Derek?” Maggie said as she watched the door anxiously as well.
“Who?” I asked and both of them stared at me like I had asked a stupid question. The couple that had lingered near the cars came over to us. They were both in their late thirties. I never really saw them around.
“Any idea what happened?” they asked the same question we all had.
“No,” I said as the apartment building door opened. “Oh, thank God, Derek is fine,” Maggie said. I smiled to myself. So, his name was Derek. Derek looked like a God leaving the building. His dreadlocks weren’t tied back, and they fell below his shoulders. His tight t-shirt and baggy jogging pants had me drooling. How did he look so good? I looked at his feet; he had shoes on. At least he had the common sense to grab a pair. I glanced at everyone else’s feet and realized they all wore shoes. While I was grabbing my plant, they all grabbed their shoes. I was the only one with no common sense. Derek nodded at everyone. We were all watching him.
I tried to act casual as he glanced at me, then at my plant, he looked slightly confused. My hands tightened around my plant, and he looked back at me with that same confused look. I blushed under his intense stare, my blush spread down my neck as Maggie giggled and nudged me like we were ten years old and in a freakin’ playground. Yeah, I was dying here.
The fire brigade arrived; the wail had everyone looking away from my burning face. All except Derek, who was now staring at my bare feet. Under his scrutiny, my toes wriggled on their own accord. They knew they were being stared at. Derek’s eyebrow slightly rose, and he looked away to the scene in front of us.
I felt bad when an ambulance arrived ten minutes later and the old man who lived downstairs was taken out of the building. I had forgotten about him. He was alive, thank God, but an oxygen mask covered his face.
“Can we go back into the building, Mr. Fireman?” Maggie was clutching her nightgown but smiled at Mr. Fireman as he passed. He gave her a smile back, and I felt sorry for him; she would take that as an encouragement to continue flirting with him.
“No Ma’am, we need to make sure the building is safe.” The word Ma’am had her smile wiped clean, and she shuffled back into formation with the rest of us. My lips were trembling, I was that cold. I moved my plant to my other arm; my fingers were losing circulation. The movement caught Derek’s eye. He looked at my feet again. I wanted to say something, but he spoke first, to my amazement.
“We can wait in my car,” he said while taking the keys out of his pocket; he moved away, clicking the beeper. I snapped out of my stunned moment and followed him. It wasn’t a car but a large, black jeep. It looked brand new. I climbed into the front seat, Maggie and her friend moved behind me. Maggie was like the cat that got the cream as she climbed into the back. I didn’t close my door as I looked at the couple. We couldn’t just leave them.
"There’s no room," Derek said noticing my
hesitation. He started the jeep, the hot air almost instantly flooding the space. I closed the door and put my feet in the warm air. Derek had changed the flow to blow on our feet. That was really considerate.
"The building is burning down, and you grab your keys,” I said. I wasn’t really complaining since I was warming up nicely. It was just an observation.
Derek looked at me. "You grabbed a plant." He made me sound stupid. "A dead one," he added.
"It’s not dead. It’s asleep." On cue, one of the brown leaves broke off and landed on my lap in an act of betrayal. God damn it. Derek didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to.
The silence was pretty awkward with Maggie and … (I had to figure out her name) in the back.
“So, Derek, you go to college?” Maggie asked. For the first time, I was willing to listen. I must have shifted slightly as Derek glanced at me before looking in the rear-view mirror at Maggie. One of his hands rested on the gearstick. I studied his strong fingers. I’ve never really noticed someone’s fingers before, but his were strong-looking and tanned, like the rest of him. My eyes roamed up his well-defined arm, that was clean—no tattoos.
“Yes,” he answered.
“Where?” Maggie added.
"Clarke’s College."
“Same as us,” Maggie said I could hear the glee in her voice. My eyes crossed his wide chest and then to his blond dreadlocks.
“What do you study?” I smiled at Maggie’s interrogation. His jaw was clenched as he answered. “Engineering.” My stomach tightened as my eyes met his. The lines of tiredness still visible under them. I looked away, my face burning at being caught checking him out for a second time.
