by Vi Carter
I straightened my apron, uncomfortable now. “I hear you, Claire. But we're good.” She didn’t seem satisfied. I wasn’t sure what she wanted, but she hugged me.
“Thank you,” she whispered before letting me go.
“I need to get back to work.” I told her with an apologetic smile. Claire pulled me in for another quick hug before finally letting me go. Straight away, I got on the floor and started taking orders. My four-hour shift ran five to nine; patrons kept coming, keeping me busy. Not many thoughts ran through my mind, with all the orders I had, but the ones that managed to squeeze themselves in were all Derek.
It wasn’t until eight forty-five that the crowd died down and Bernie arrived out on the floor. She made herself a coffee and sat at one of the empty tables. She looked so tired. She always looked tired, but tonight she looked worse. “Can I get you anything, Bernie?” I asked, concerned.
“No I’m good, Grace.” She smiled weakly.
I slid into the booth, sitting across from her. “Is everything okay?” She considered something for a moment, and looked around at Lisa, who swept the floor.
“The owners are selling the cafe.”
“Oh. But the place does so well?” I would have to get a job elsewhere, but this meant so much to Bernie. “Would you not take it over?” I asked. She ran it anyway. She smiled at me across the coffee mug.
“I’m considering it, just need to see if I can jiggle some financial stuff."
When are you telling the girls?” I asked quietly. They all would need to search for other jobs if Bernie didn’t take it over. The next owners might have their own staff, or they might use the place for something else. There were no guarantees.
“Soon. But if you could keep it to yourself for now..."
“Of course.” I said. I got up to help Lisa close up.
I didn’t pull into the apartment carpark until nearly ten. I climbed the stairs that seemed endless, but finally I got into the apartment. Craig lounged on the couch. “Hi Grace, I left pizza for you on the counter.” I opened the box and took out a cold slice, eating it, grateful for the food. Rummaging through my bag, I found my phone. It was dead again. I growled at it. “I need a new phone,” I said, waving my dead one at Craig. “Anyone call for me?” I asked him. He looked like he was thinking about it.
“No,” he answered, but something told me he was lying. “I'm going to watch From Dusk till Dawn, are you up for it?” He smiled, and I was too tired to argue.
“Just give me a second.” I got changed into my yoga pants, and oversized jumper, and placed my hair on top of my head. My bum had just touched the cushion of the couch when a knock at the door had me up again. I glanced at the clock, it read half ten, too late for normal visitors. My heart leapt. Could it be?
I opened the door to Derek. My stomach fluttered, and the blood in my veins heated up along with my face. “Hi.” My one word sounded breathless, and my reaction seemed to make Derek happy.
He smiled, and my heart missed a beat. “I need your help.”
I swallowed my lust and tried to get my head together. “Sure.” That was the best I could come up with.
“In my apartment,” Derek said, aware of the effect he had on me.
I left my apartment and walked into Derek’s.
“You don’t like shoes?” He asked, totally confusing me, but I looked down at my bare feet. I hadn’t thought to put shoes on.
“They’re overrated,” I said, and he grinned. The loose green t-shirt he wore was doing things to my mind. It had several rips, showing bits of flesh, a peek here and there, tantalizing me. I stared at one near his stomach, my heart fluttering.
“Grace?” The amusement in his voice told me I was blatantly checking him out. I looked at him, not sure if embarrassed was the right word. I became Derekfied when I was around him. I smiled at my new word, and he smiled at me. “This is my problem,” he pointed at a box in the middle of the sitting room. I looked inside it, a little ball of fur looked up at me.
“Oh, your sister's teacup dog!” I said, reaching in for the little thing. It was tiny, with shiny brown fur and ears that looked two sizes too big for his tiny body. I cuddled it to my chest, and it licked my face. “Oh, you are cute. So cute sweetheart. What a cutie pie,” I did my doggy talk.
“Shall I leave you?” Derek asked.
“Yeah, that would be great,” I answered, and he laughed. He let me have a few more cuddles before interrupting us.
“So, since you like her so much, maybe she can stay with you?”
“Nice try, but not going to happen. She’s cute alright, but not in my apartment.” The lingering smell from dogs was horrible, and the toilet situation, I just couldn’t. I put her back in the box and we both stood, watching her.
“I rang you,” Derek said, his voice controlled. “And called to your apartment.”
Now I looked at him. “When?” Damn you Craig. I knew he had lied to me earlier.
“Craig didn’t tell you? I’m not surprised.” The dog started to whine, and Derek scooped it up, holding it under his arm. The dog made him appear enormous, and there was something so sexy about him holding such a small dog. I found myself smiling at them, then my stomach fluttered.
“Yeah, he’s an ass at times,” I said sitting down from the weakness that entered my legs all of a sudden. I wasn’t sure if it was tiredness, or hunger, or both.
“You okay?”
“Yes.”
Derek didn’t seem convinced. He sat across from me, the dog snuggled into his chest. Lucky dog. “You don’t have to lie to me. I can see you’re not okay.” Derek’s words sounded so sure, and logically said.
“You're right, I’m not okay, but I will be,” Surprise filtered through me at how honest I was answering, and how he noticed I wasn’t okay.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, and I found myself laughing softly. Even my laughter sounded tired.
“Honestly Derek, I wouldn’t know where to start."
“Try me.” His serious tone caused my stomach to tighten. My hands started to sweat. His eyes grew so serious and intense that I had to look away, and try to gather myself.
I sat for a moment, wanting to tell him everything, but then found myself unable to get the words out. “It’s work. They are selling the café, and I might be out of a job.” I said, feeling guilty the moment I looked at Derek. I was terrified to talk about the white elephant in the room. A part of me wanted to, but fear kept me from speaking. Derek looked at me like he knew, but some part of him, maybe the part that felt sorry for me, gave in.
“You’ll get another job, I have no doubt.” Derek didn’t smile, but glanced away to pet the dog. His eyes were no longer on me, which left me with a sense of disappointment and relief. “Anything else bothering you?” Now he looked at me, and I wondered what he knew, if he knew that I was deflecting. I took a moment.
“No, that’s it.” I smiled a big, reassuring smile, but he didn’t smile back.
“I saw you get out of a car in the carpark, yesterday.” He said carefully, watching me.
My face burned with how direct he spoke. “Yeah, my car broke down, so I got a lift home.” I was grateful for the easy lie.
“He must have liked you,” Derek said, his voice sounded deeper. I snorted. If only he knew.
“Hardly.”
“Well, he ‘hardly’ gave you his business card for nothing.”
“Were you spying on me?”
Derek grinned. “No Grace, I wasn’t.” His grin didn't match his serious tone.
"I don’t want to talk about it."
“That’s all you had to say; just don’t lie to me. You don’t need to lie to me.” His statement had my cheeks burning. I had lied to him, and I was pretty shitty at it too. It took a moment for his words to sink in and at first, I wanted to deny that I had lied, but the longer we stared at each other, the more I wanted to be honest with him. Derek had a stableness about him that made me want to spill my guts. I could sen
se that, no matter what I told him, he would keep me from spinning out of control, just like the night at the restaurant when I had spoken of James.
“He's my brother.” I said, surprising myself. My hands clenched and unclenched, and I wanted to shake them out so badly, but I didn’t want to come across as a crazy person in front of Derek.
“I thought your brother wasn’t old enough to kick my ass?” More lies. I could hear it in his tone, and I wanted to run. I didn’t have to do this, Derek was a stranger to me. I didn’t owe him anything.
“This brother is old enough, but he wouldn’t kick your ass. We don’t really know each other, and aren’t close. He’s only my half-brother, so...” More silence, the only sound was the dog licking Derek’s hand.
“You don’t have to tell me anything. But just say so. That’s all I ask.” My hands were sweating, and tears burned my eyes. It hurt my heart a little to see a coldness in his eyes towards me because I hadn’t originally told the truth.
“Okay.” I finally said, and meant it. I wouldn’t lie again. Not to him.
“So are you going to take the dog?” His playful smile returned, and my tears dried up as I smiled back at him. Relief made me smile more. I held my hands up.
“I just met her, I mean I don’t even know her name,” I said, still smiling.
“Twinkle Toes, meet Grace.” Derek held Twinkle Toes’ paw and waved it at me. I laughed and relaxed back into the couch, relieved that the awkwardness and coldness had vanished.
“Twinkle Toes?” I repeated, still laughing. Derek was full-on smiling now, and my heart fluttered as he watched me laugh.
“You don’t like her name?” Derek held the dog close to his chest, as if protecting her from me.
“It’s cute.” I finally said when I stopped laughing. “How long do you have her?
“Five days. We could have shared custody of her.” My stomach flipped, and color leaked into my cheeks. Why did that sound like a commitment? My face must have portrayed everything.
“It’s not a marriage proposal, Grace,” Derek said with a look that told me he wasn’t so sure if I was stable.
“No, but it’s shared custody, and taking care of a dog is pretty serious." He smiled, and that had me smiling with relief. “So how do we do this?” I asked.
Derek put Twinkle Toes in her box. I checked out his backside as he bent over; lord, he was perfect in every way. It was solid, yet full. Before he turned around, I looked away.
“I can have her tonight, and you can have her tomorrow night.” He sat down beside me on the couch, much closer than necessary, and suddenly my mind wasn’t on the dog anymore.
“What if she gets homesick? What do I do?” Derek’s fingers entwined with mine, surprising me at such an intimate and gentle gesture.
“I’ll give you one of my t-shirts.” His thumb stroked my hand, distracting me.
“T-shirt?” I questioned, looking at his mouth. I would love one of his t-shirts, I could smell him whenever I wanted to.
“Yeah, that you could wear to bed.”
Now I looked at him, my heart picking up speed. “How would that comfort the dog?” I asked, while biting my lip. His eyes were hungry and focused on my mouth.
“It wouldn’t. I just like the idea of you wearing my clothes.” That was it for me, this man was driving me crazy. I closed the distance and kissed him. Derek’s large hands found my waist, and he lifted me up until I was straddling him, yet he never broke the kiss. My hands found his face as stubble brushed my palms. His hands burned through my top and set me on fire. His tongue darted into my mouth, and I groaned with pleasure. I could feel him pressed against me, and I pushed myself tighter against him until he groaned.
Twinkle Toes started to bark in protest. We ignored her for a few seconds, but she wouldn’t stop. Derek still held my waist but looked around me. “Twinkle Toes, knock it off.” The dog whined at his voice, and I suppressed the laughter that bubbled up my throat.
Derek’s attention was back on me, and looking into his eyes made me realize that I was falling hard for him. I had never wanted anyone like I wanted him. His hands left my waist and took my face gently as he moved us closer. His kiss this time was slow, like he was memorizing how our lips fit perfectly together, or how I tasted. It was so gentle that my eyes burned. This was crazy; I couldn’t keep it together for two seconds. Maybe I had stopped kissing him, or maybe he noticed the difference in my body, but Derek gave one final soft kiss before he looked at me.
“Are you okay?” He sounded really concerned, and that made me want to cry more.
“Yes, it’s just that you can seriously kiss.” I finally said and meant it. He smiled briefly but became serious again.
“Then why do you look like you are going to cry?”
My face burned with humiliation. What was wrong with me? “I need to go,” I said climbing off him. “I’ve had a really shitty day, and then you kiss me like that,” I said not able to control my mouth.
Derek sat on the couch looking so lost. “Like what?” he was being genuine.
“Like I matter.” My face burned and my heart raced; I needed to leave.
Derek stood up, his face blank. “Why would you not matter?” His serious expression, along with his question, was making my hands sweat.
“I...I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about this.” Sweat started to gather on my forehead.
“You obviously do.” Derek stood, and I knew there was no way out of this. Panic tore through me. I didn’t want to break in front of him.
“I have to go.” I said while standing. I didn’t give him a moment to respond, I simply raced from his apartment.
CHAPTER TWENTY
GRACE
WHEN I ENTERD MY apartment, Craig glanced at me then muted the TV. “What the hell did he do?” His anger knocked me out of my self-loathing for messing things up.
“Nothing.” I turned on the kettle.
“Nothing? Look at the state of you.” He got off the couch, his anger so visible in his walk and how he held his hands at the side, balled into fists. I was in no mood.
“Thanks, Craig. But he did nothing wrong, in fact, you did.” He blanched for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me he rang?”
“I forgot," he answered sheepishly, some anger had left him.
“And called to the apartment, too. What? You forgot about that?"
“I’m not your secretary, Grace.” I laughed, and not with humor. I was so sick of people and their shit.
“I’ve had a shitty day, and you’re making it shittier.” I abandoned the kettle, it was too late for coffee anyway, and made my way into my room.
“Talk to me, Grace.”
I stopped, taking several deep breaths, trying to stop the anger.
“Talk to you? About what, Craig?”
“Whatever is eating away at you?”
“What’s with you guys and talking? You are like a bunch of girls.”
Craig relaxed his hands for the first time since he had balled them into fists and gave a quick, sad smile. “I think I see. He wanted you to talk, and you ran. Now I want you to talk, and you run.” I don’t know why, but his statement rubbed me up the wrong way. Irritation scrambled along my skin.
“It wasn’t like that. I didn’t run, I just ..." I ran. I glared at him. “I don’t have to explain myself to you. The guy that locks it all away, covers it up with drink and sex.” I was being mean, but god damn it, he wouldn’t just leave it be. Why should I be the one on trial all the time? The hurt on his face had my stomach tightening with guilt. No one spoke for a moment. Craig stayed still, working his jaw. When he stopped, he finally spoke.
“You're right, Grace. But the difference between me and you is that I know I’m messed up. I just don’t want to bring anyone else down with me. But you, you keep painting pretty pictures, only now sweetheart, the paint is running right off them.” He grabbed his phone and keys before leaving with a slam of the door.
I stood, glarin
g at the door, my breaths coming short and sharp. I wanted to smash something. But what good would it do? I got a glass of water instead. Locking my bedroom door, I watered my plant.
I think the leaf looked a little greener on the left-hand side. I smiled; there was hope.
DEREK
Emmett had rung me and told me I needed to be there for Grace. The dog was his idea. He had bought the thing and dropped it off. When he had asked me if everything was going well, I told him it was going fine. I didn’t tell him that I couldn’t control myself around his sister. Or that I was falling for her. I lit a cigarette again and blew the smoke into Twinkle Toes' face. It moved away from the smoke with a small whine. I had pushed her too hard, and I was a dick to ask her to be honest with me, but it pissed me off that she still didn’t trust me enough.
I stood up, putting out the cigarette. What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to cool things off. I couldn’t seem to remember she was the job, one that I wasn’t meant to get involved with. The only thing I had going for me, was that she didn’t speak to Emmett. She had confirmed as much tonight. When this was all over, and I was long gone, she wouldn't go crying to him about me. I would be yesterday’s news. The thought didn’t give me relief, but it should have.
GRACE
College flew by, and I worked only two hours after. Claire and Lisa worked the shift with me. Lisa had another gig on the weekend, and I promised her I would go. Claire stayed quieter than usual, but I didn’t ask. I had enough in my own head. When I finished work, I found Lisa waiting for me at my car.
“Got a minute?” Lisa asked.
“Of course, get in.” I climbed in and unlocked the car for her. Lisa fidgeted with her hands in her lap.
“It’s Claire. She's taking drugs," Lisa didn’t beat around the bush.
“Like drugs, drugs?” I asked, not really wanting to know.
Lisa nodded before speaking. “Yeah, really anything she can get her hands on. I know Amber knows, but she turns a blind eye. She has her own stuff to deal with." Lisa chewed on her lip, while glancing out the window.
