by Vi Carter
Yeah, stuff she still hasn’t explained to me. “Do you know what’s going on with Amber?” I asked, not really expecting her to tell me. Stuffing my hands between my legs, I waited until Lisa turned to me, hope surged inside me. She just might tell me.
“I know what goes on with everyone; Amber, Luke, Claire, and Craig. But you, not so much.” Lisa glanced away now.
Now I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. Okay, I really wanted to know about Amber, but I also wanted to respect our friendship, and not hear it from Lisa. I wanted Amber to tell me herself.
“Okay, what happened with Luke and Craig?”
“Well, it was over Amber, and honestly if she hasn’t told you, I don’t feel it’s my place." Lisa chewed her lip again, but this time didn’t look away.
“So, it all centers around Amber?”
Lisa nodded, before checking her phone. “I have band practice in like fifteen. So back to Claire. Someone needs to do something."
“Why don’t you?” I asked, and Lisa laughed.
“No offense Grace, but she really looks up to you. I reckon if you tell her to stop, she will stop. Me, on the other hand, I don’t think she would notice if I vanished in the morning." I looked at Lisa now. Would any of us notice, and what kind of friends did that make us? I wondered, had she meant the rest of us too, but just wasn’t saying it?
“Okay, I better go or I’m going to be late."
“Can I drop you somewhere?” I asked turning the car on.
“No, it’s just around the corner.” Before she left she popped her head back in the door. “Don’t forget about Claire.”
“I won’t.” I promised as she closed the door.
I got home to an empty apartment. I checked my phone, nothing from Derek, Amber, or Craig. I got a glass of water and drank it slowly, while playing with my brother’s business card. We were meant to meet up to discuss our mam. Maybe Rose would call me, maybe she wouldn’t. When I had rung her and thanked her for returning my car, she hadn’t mentioned my mother or Emmett. We had kept the conversation brief.
I had so much going around in my head that I thought, at times, it might bust.
My phone dinged with a message from Amber.
“HI girl. What you up to?”
“Debating whether to clean, study, or just watch tv."
“God, you are boring. I wonder why we are friends.”
“Because without me you wouldn’t have anyone to torment."
“True that. Was wondering if you wanted to come over?”
I looked at the message. Did I? Getting out of the apartment would be good for me. But what if she told me her problem? I don't think I could take much more right now.
I didn’t get to decide, as a knock at the door had me opening it to Emmett. I would have laughed at him standing in my hallway; he made it look grubbier than it normally did. His immaculate suit and his poise didn’t help. Or the fact that his nails were better manicured than mine; he took in my work clothes before looking at me. “Can I come in?” he asked, looking around me. My cheeks reddened with embarrassment. I had never felt embarrassed before, or ever thought much about where I lived, but with Emmett scrutinizing it, and looking around like someone might jump him with a syringe or hold him at gunpoint, well yeah, I was feeling a tad bit pissed now, with the power he had over my emotions.
“Yeah.” I opened the door fully, and he walked in.
He didn’t sit, but stood in the center of the room, his hands in his trousers pockets. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, and right now, I was lost as to why he was even here. He had never bothered to grace me with his presence before. “What do you want?” I asked, pulling at my work shirt.
“To discuss mother.” Right to the point. One thing he had going for him. “We should meet with Ms. Philps and Mr. Jenkins on Thursday.”
“You mean Rose and John.” I said in a snarky tone. He didn't seem to have the capacity to form a sentence without being a dick. He didn’t react to my remark. “Fine, what time?”
“I will pick you up at four."
“Why are you trying to play big brother now? Pick me up?” I folded my arms.
“If you don’t want me to, Grace, that is fine.” I hated how proper he spoke, and how he controlled his emotions. I bet he controlled everything, even his bladder. Toilet times are 7, 11, 3, and finally 8. No other times qualify. Sorry, you must fit into these time slots. I grinned at my thoughts before answering him.
“I’d prefer to drive myself."
“Very well,” he answered, and I dug my nails into my hands. That was one thing I had always asked him not to say. 'Very well,' it just rubbed me up the wrong way. It was the difference between me and him. I just hated it.
“I think we need to talk before we go there. I feel no more medication should be given to mother. I have a friend who can help her."
I sat down on the arm of the chair. “How?”
“He owns a resort in the Alps. It’s for people with depression of all kinds. He uses natural methods."
“Like what?”
“Exercise."
I laughed at the insanity of his suggestion, and wondered whether he’d seen her recently. “Lord, why didn’t I think of that, get mam to run around the block a few times and poof, her depression is gone. You came the whole way to tell me that the answer to our prayers is exercise?"
“You are still such a child. A broken one.” Emmett’s words came out with an anger that stunned me, and secondly, they hurt me so much that my eyes welled up.
“Get out,” I said coldly, looking away, but he didn’t move. I had never cried in front of Emmett, and I wasn’t going to start now. “I said get out!” I looked at him now, a little more under control as I focused on my anger and getting him out of my apartment.
“I’m sorry.” I blinked at him. The second surprise, he apologized.
“Okay,” I answered. He stood a little straighter, and his emotions went back into their box.
“So do you agree with me?” I wanted to say no, but the medication no longer helped her.
“How much will this cost?”
He shook his head before I even finished my sentence. “I will cover it.”
“How much, Emmett?”
He glanced around my apartment pointedly before replying. “One hundred and fifty thousand for the full package.”
I nearly fell off the arm of the chair. “That’s crazy!”
“It’s for our mother.”
I didn’t have much, but a few pounds in savings. “I want to pay for some.”
He shook his head. “No, I told you I have it covered."
“And I’m telling you I want to pay something towards it.” I held my head high. I might not have much, but I would give what I had.
“Fine.” Emmett finally gave in, and I let out a small breath of relief. “Nothing over ten percent,” he said, and I smiled. Oh, it was such a wonderful thing to be rich.
“I have five thousand to my name so...”
He nodded now, looking uncomfortable. “I have no problem taking care of the full bill."
“I know, I just want to help.” My phone dinged, and I checked it.
“Well, are you coming over or what?”
When I looked up at Emmett he was watching me. “It’s my friend, Amber,” I said by way of explanation. He had never met her; in fact, she didn’t know that he even existed. “She wants me to go to her house,” I added, not sure why I was telling him all.
“Can I give you a lift there?” A part of me would have loved to see Amber’s face as I pulled up in a Bentley, but that would last for five minutes, until I had to tell her I had a brother.
As I was about to tell him no, the door opened and Craig walked in. I closed my eyes briefly. I had completely forgotten about him. I did a quick glance at Emmett. He stared at Craig, scanning him from head to toe. I found myself scanning Craig too, from the tattoos, piercings, the smell of smoke, light t-shirt, ripped jeans and the cocky eyebrow that
rose as he looked back at Emmett.
“Is he your boyfriend?” The horror in Emmett’s voice was so real that I almost believed he cared.
“Yes,” Craig said without blinking an eye. I groaned inwardly.
“No, he’s not.” I gave Craig the look that says what-the-hell-are-you-doing.
“Why does he have a key to your home?” The way Emmett said it I could hear the other side of that remark, ‘where you sleep.’
“He’s a friend, and that’s what friends do."
“An addict, Grace. Really?” It felt like I was slapped from Emmett’s comment, but I had to push my shock aside. Craig took a step towards Emmett.
“Who is this dickhead? Don’t stand there in your suit and judge me."
“I don’t need a suit to tell me what I see." Emmett said calmly. “I take you from one mess and you land in another.” Emmett’s statement had me holding up my hands in confusion.
“First, don’t call him an addict. Second, what mess are you referring to?” My voice rose, I couldn't believe this shit.
Emmett pointed at Craig, who glared at Emmett with his hands clenched. “Look at him; I can see it so clearly.”
“Grace, I’m going to punch your boyfriend’s face in if he doesn’t shut his mouth."
I wanted to die. “He’s not my boyfriend, Craig. Can you give me five minutes please?"
He looked at me as if I had asked him to leave me in a cage with a lion? “Are you out of your mind?”
“Don’t talk to her like that, you scum bag.” Emmett said, his posture rigid as he moved closer to Craig. The threat of violence had a sense of dread dripping down my spine.
I had to launch myself in between them. My hand collided with Craig’s chest. “Calm down.” I glared at him in the eye.
“You have no right,” I said, now looking at Emmett. His focus was on my hand that rested on Craig’s chest.
He looked back to me now. “I have every right.” Anger laced his words, but he took a step back, and sadness showed in his eyes, confusing me.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I pleaded with him. The rise and fall of Craig’s chest under my hand matched my own heartbeat. Emmett’s face started to close down but not before I got a glimpse of something else, fear.
“You need to find new friends,” he said as he left my apartment. He walked calmly to the door and closed it gently behind him.
“Who was that?” Craig spoke quietly, controlling his anger, no doubt. My mind raced, my phone dinged, and I wanted to smash it.
“Are you using drugs?” I dropped my hand and finally looked at Craig. The answer was so clear, now. How had I not seen how much weight he had lost? The paleness of his skin, the dark circles?
“No, what the hell Grace?” But he didn't meet my eye.
“God, I’m so stupid," I roared with frustration. “In my home, under my nose. You say you’re my friend."
“What, because some asshole says I’m a junkie, now I’m a junkie?" he roared back, veins bulging in his neck.
“No Craig, because I see it.” Tears fell from my eyes “I see you,” I added, and his face filled with shame.
“Shit, Grace.” He ran his hand through his hair before rubbing his jaw.
I shook my head, looking away from him. “You need to find somewhere else to stay.” His face sank, as if I had pushed a knife into his chest. He didn’t need more doors closed, but this I couldn’t deal with.
“Of course. I’ve overstayed.” He took a step away from me. I watched as he tried to control his emotions, but he wasn’t succeeding.
“Claire?” I asked, now hoping against hope that I was wrong. But that, too, was clear as day on his face. “You asshole." My voice pinched.
“She’s an adult," he tried to defend himself.
“Who loves you, and would do anything to have you. What, do you give her drugs to keep her?”
“She asks for it. I’m not one to refuse."
I wanted to scream. “Do you hear yourself, Craig? What, use her up and throw her away when you’re done?” I shoved him hard in the chest. “Like she means nothing," I pushed him again, and he flinched.
“Stop,” he said, but I didn't.
“You have no right to destroy someone else. You have no right to do this to Claire."
“Don’t pretend like she’s some angel, Grace,” he moved away from me, and I fought to control my temper.
“So, because daddy was never there, and mammy drinks too much...”
“Shut up now.” Craig roared.
I was pushing his buttons, but I was so angry. “That you think you have some right to act like a complete prick, to destroy a young girl’s life,” I roared, the sense of snapping was too close.
Craig took a threating step towards me. “I’m warning you now. Stop.”
“Or what, Craig?” I asked. He was as close as me to losing it. “What are you going to do, hit me?”
His face crumbled. “I would never hurt you. Never.” He whispered. It was like a balloon deflating; everything left him, and he just looked tired. “You are the only constant thing in my life, Grace. I would never hurt you,” he sounded so sincere and it was so sad that I was his only constant.
“You would never hurt me, but you hurt yourself.”
“Yeah," he answered.
“But listen to what I am saying. You would never hurt ME, but you hurt YOU."
“Yeah,” he said again like it was a no-brainer.
“You can never guarantee that Craig. If you hurt yourself, you hurt everyone around you. You are hurting me right now, more than I can explain," I swallowed my tears. I needed him to listen, and if I cried it became about me not him. “Do you understand what I am saying?” I said.
“Yeah.” He looked away, but not before I saw the tears in his eyes.
“You need to get help."
“I’ll stop,” He looked at me.
I shook my head. “You need help.”
Now he shook his head. “Grace, no.”
“Please, if not for yourself, do it for me. Please, Craig.” His struggle was so visible, and when a tear fell and he wiped it away quickly, my heart broke.
“Fine,” he said, and my own tears fell. I walked the two spaces between us and hugged him tightly. It took him a moment to put his arms around me.
“I’m so proud of you,” I said, and meant it. Craig was good. Behind all his darkness, there was so much light, but it was dimmed from his shitty childhood. He didn’t answer me but held me tighter. Then, I smiled through my tears as he tugged on my hair, the one that let me know he heard me. “I am here for you, Craig. No matter what.” I fought to control my own flow of tears. He buried his head deeper into my neck; the moisture of his silent tears soaking into my top. If there was a God, why didn’t he help him? Heal him. I sent up a silent prayer as I continued to hold Craig. He moved away from my neck, but I still couldn’t see his face.
“Just promise me one thing,” Craig said, his breath brushing my hair.
“Okay.” I stared at the door, waiting for the promise I had to make.
“Always be my constant.” A sob escaped my lips and his face came into view, now his tears were there, and he wasn’t hiding them. “Promise me, Grace.” My tears fell, he was so vulnerable right now, and he was letting me see it.
“I will be your constant,” I said through my tears. His thumb brushed mine away, but more fell.
He reigned his emotions back in. “If you ever tell anyone I cried, I’ll deny it.”
I laughed, and he smiled too, but neither of us meant it. It was just an easier emotion to deal with. “I don’t think anyone would believe me.” I added.
“No, I don’t think so either.” Craig smiled again, but it was a tired-looking smile.
He ended up texting Luke; he was going to stay with him for a few days. Tomorrow, he would go to the doctor and try to get signed in somewhere. I was so proud of him. We hugged again for a while before he left and when the apartment door closed, I
went to the window, and was surprised when I saw the Bentley still in the carpark. Emmett walked out of the building and climbed in to his car. Why was Emmett only leaving now? Had he been listening at the door? I felt sadness as the car pulled away. To see Emmett trying to protect me had made me want a brother even more, now. To have someone take care of me. But Emmett’s coldness wouldn’t allow that.
Craig appeared, now walking across the asphalt. He stopped, lighting a cigarette. He looked up at the window, and he smiled when he saw me. How had I not seen how much he had faded? I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled at him before he turned and walked away with nothing but a backpack slung across his back.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
GRACE
MY HEART BROKE for Craig, to see him walk away with one bag of possessions. I moved away from the window, my mind now returning to Emmett. I wondered why he was only leaving now, and where had he been all this time. My phone dinged again, and I picked it up. Three messages from Amber.
“Wow, girl. Are you ignoring me?”
“Now I’m starting to worry. Did someone break into your apartment, tie you up, and do some kinky stuff to you? Oh, is it Derek?"
“Okay, Grace, you better answer or I’m ringing Derek."
“You wouldn’t,” I said out loud as a knock came to my door. When I opened it, Derek stood there with Twinkle Toes in his arms. “She rang you?” I said, and he nodded.
“Your friend has a way with words.”
I rolled my eyes, and told him to come in as I rang Amber. She answered on the first ring.
“Wow, so you answer to Derek but not me?” she actually sounded pissed.
“I had company,” I said drily. Derek stopped playing with Twinkle Toes and glanced at me.
“Who?”
“Craig,” I said turning away from Derek. “You knew he was on drugs? Why didn’t you tell me?” I didn’t want to go there with Amber, but it just came out.
“Grace, you only see the good. It was obvious to all of us, and if you didn’t see it, why should we tell you, hun?"
