All The Little Moments

by G. Benson

  “She is.”

  “You look calm.”

  “I’m not. I just…I’m not. I tore up the book she left them.”

  “Good. Stupid cow.”

  They sat quietly for a minute.

  “Mum. This is…I literally can’t do anything. I want to go and get them.”

  “I know.” Sandra looked up at the clock on the wall. “It’s after nine. Call the lawyer.”

  Obediently, Anna grabbed her phone and rang the number.

  “It’s engaged.”

  Her mother looked ready to throw something. “For God’s sake.” She muttered, then stood up. “Tea?” She clearly needed to do something.

  Even though Anna shook her head, Sandra went about pulling two cups out and starting the kettle.

  This time, when Anna hit redial, it rang.

  “Scott Matthews.”

  “Uh…hi. My name is Anna Foster, I—”

  “Yes, Doctor Foster? I just got off the phone with Hayley Sears. She’s filled me in a little on your situation.”

  Anna’s mouth dropped open. “Um.”

  “We went to law school together. Now, I have most of the details, kids’ names and so forth. I just need the morning to recover information. There is a branch of child services open. There’s always someone in the office, these things unfortunately needing someone on them all the time. I know the guy in on Sundays personally. I’m going to get as much information about the complaints made as possible. Then I’m going to call you and have you come in this afternoon to go over what I have and what I need from you. Does this sound agreeable?”

  Blinking rapidly, Anna didn’t know what to say. This guy was amazing. “Yes. Yes, that sounds good.”

  “I know you’ll have a lot of questions, but if we can save them for when you come in, we can go over everything at once.”

  “Uh…okay.”

  “Good. I’ll be calling you, most likely around twelve. I have your number.”

  “Thanks. Wait, Mr Matthews?”

  “Call me Scott.”

  Anna looked blindly at the mug of tea that her mother had just put down in front of her. “When you call the office, can you please try and get an update on the kids? I just want to know they’re okay.”

  “Of course. I’ll call you soon.”

  And he was gone.

  All Anna could do was stare at her phone.

  “Well!?”

  Anna looked up in surprise; Sandra was looking at her expectantly. “Um. Hayley had already contacted him. They went to school together.”

  “You called Hayley?”

  “This morning. I only left a voicemail. I wanted to ask her some questions.”

  “She gets stuff done.”

  If there was one thing Hayley was, it was efficient. “Well, he’s contacting child services, some branch that’s always operating that we mere mortals have no chance of contacting. He’s going to get all the info he needs from them, then call me to come in this afternoon and answer my questions and get my side.”

  “And he’ll find out about the kids?”

  “Yes.”

  Her mother thumped her mug down in the same manner Anna had only an hour before. “This is just absurd. They’re my grandkids and your niece and nephew. We should be allowed to go right now and get them.” When Anna didn’t answer, Sandra eyed her. “Anna. What are you thinking?”

  Lost in thought, Anna kept staring at a single spot on the wall. “Nothing.”

  Her mother watched her, but Anna could tell she knew better than to push.

  When Anna’s phone rang again, she answered it as soon as she saw who was calling. “Hayley?”

  “Anna. Hey. I’m sorry, the second I got your message I called my friend in Melbourne, he’s a family law attorney.”

  “I know, he’s the same guy I had recommended to me. I called him and he was already on it. Thank you for that.”

  “He’s amazing. He’s doing huge things in family law for Australia. God knows we need it. I know the issue is apparently neglect, but if I remember Sally’s mother correctly, it won’t be just about that.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  “How are you?”

  Anna swallowed, letting a breath out slowly between her lips. “I’m okay. I’m worried about the kids and what this will do to them. What if I don’t get them back?”

  “There are a lot of horror stories about the foster system, but I’m sure they’ll be okay. Most people are doing it because they really care about the kids. As for the rest of it—you must have questions. Shoot.”

  Twenty minutes later, Anna put the phone down.

  Her mother was back at the sink finishing the dishes. “What did she say?”

  Anna took a deep breath. “Well. If things go well at the first hearing for temporary guardianship, they will probably get placed back with me in the interim until the guardianship hearing after it.”

  Her mother paled slightly. “Good. And if they don’t?”

  “They’ll go to you, or to Cathy, or back into foster care. And I won’t be considered at the guardianship hearing, because I will be busy being charged with neglect.”

  Her mother went impossibly paler. “But surely the chances are slim? You haven’t neglected them!”

  Anna didn’t know what to say to that. She was exhausted. “Hayley said the chance of that happening is slim to none. In fact, she thinks that the judge may throw the whole thing out of court, because it seems there’s been nothing that could possibly resemble neglect. She doesn’t really understand how it came to them being removed.”

  “So Cathy is traumatising you and the kids for nothing.” Her mother eyed her, and Anna shook her head vaguely; she didn’t know what the woman was doing. “But we won’t really know much until after this meeting with your lawyer?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Or until the hearing?”

  When Anna simply nodded, Sandra sat down heavily.

  “I’ll ask him about visitation, about seeing the kids hopefully tomorrow; if not me, then at least you.”

  Her mother stared at the table. Nausea roiled in Anna’s stomach. “God, Mum. Toby will be so confused.”

  Eyes filling with tears, Sandra shook her head. “Anna, don’t.”

  Anna wanted to say that Ella had looked at her and asked if she didn’t want them anymore, but she didn’t want to see her mother cry.

  She stayed, neither of them speaking much, her father out somewhere, until Scott called and told her to come in.

  Anna weaved through traffic, lost in thought.

  It was incredible, really: a few months ago, she had thought she was the worst person for this, had wanted her parents to do it, anyone else, really, but her. She didn’t think she was cut out for it; she was too selfish, too happy being free and childless. Anna had thought her brother and sister-in-law were crazy to leave two small children in her care.

  Now? Now Anna couldn’t imagine her life without those two kids. The three of them had spent months learning how to be a unit. Anna would much prefer Jake and Sally be alive, but they weren’t, and this was her life, and she in no way wanted it to change. Those kids were too important to her.

  When she entered the office, she was met by a polished man in a well-cut, dark-grey suit, hair stylishly groomed. He looked like he belonged in a courtroom drama, with his easy smile and charming presence. His right hand, which had been fiddling with the wedding ring on his left, reached out.

  “Doctor Foster? Scott. My secretary would normally greet you, but it’s Sunday, so it’s just me today.”

  Anna shook his hand. “Please, call me Anna.”

  He clapped his hands together. “Great. Follow me.”

  The well-lit office had bookcases lining the walls and an exquisite painting of a seascape behind
the desk. Anna sat in front of the dark mahogany desk opposite where Scott sat in a comfortable leather chair. The whole room smelt like a pine forest.

  “Now, I won’t keep you waiting on this part. I spoke to Ben in the child services office, and he had spoken with the foster family this morning, a routine follow up, considering they only got there last night.”

  Anna was hanging on his every word.

  “I’ve been assured the kids are fine.”

  Anna slumped back into the seat slightly, relieved.

  “Ella has been quiet, not talking very much. Picking at her food.”

  Anna nodded distractedly. “We only really just got her eating normally again after her parents’ deaths.”

  “Another reason I am very unimpressed at this situation. Toby, he’s been good. He woke up several times overnight, but is fine. Confused, of course.”

  “Good.” Anna didn’t know what to say. “I want to see them, Scott.”

  “I know. Call the office in the morning, speak to your caseworker. See where you go from there. Call me if you aren’t happy with whatever they say.”

  “Okay.”

  Scott sat up straighter. “Now. Let’s go over everything.”

  For an hour, Anna sat in his office. Scott got her to go over how she had gotten the kids into her care, how they had been since then, her work status, if Toby was in day care—something Scott assured her had zero weight on neglect.

  “Half the families in Australia would be neglecting their kids, if that were the case.” The tone of his voice showed his clear dislike of that idea.

  As Scott proceeded to fill Anna in on where she stood, she learnt that Cathy had called child protection weeks ago and expressed concerns to Lorna that Anna wasn’t doing right by the kids. She believed Anna was neglecting them by barely being at home with them.

  That, Anna thought, explained the more frequent Lorna visits. She’d been checking in.

  “I’m guessing that Cathy was unhappy with Lorna’s reaction to the first complaints and went further up. There’s a record of an anonymous complaint, as well.”

  “It would have been Cathy.”

  Scott raised his hands. “Probably. But they treat it as an extra one. On Friday, Cathy called again and made a serious complaint. She said no one had been home all night—”

  “She watched my house?”

  Grimly, Scott sat up and leant on his desk. “It would seem. She said, out of concern, she went by the hospital, where you were leaving with ‘some woman’ and didn’t return to the house.”

  The hair on the back of Anna’s arms stood up. “This is very creepy.”

  “It is, yes. She claims at least two women frequently visit your house and leave at odd hours. The complaints are numerous, but along these lines.”

  The more he talked, the more anger filled her.

  Cathy had been watching them.

  Cathy had claimed Anna worked more than she saw the children, had to work inappropriate hours—and so would “dump” the kids with their grandparents—that she’d had a parade of women over and ignored the kids. She claimed Anna was flaunting inappropriate sexual behaviours.

  Scott laid it out and then had Anna give her side.

  “Lane is my girlfriend—however, most of my time is spent with the kids. The only reason I was with her on Friday night was because Ella had asked to have a sleepover at her grandparents’ house. Until then, Lane had only stayed over once, and it was, again, when the kids were with their grandparents.”

  Scott was nodding and writing in a notebook.

  “Kym is a great friend, and the kids adore her. She is over often for meals and has babysat twice. She lost her husband last year and I guess we’ve been kind of supporting each other.”

  “And does she stay at the house?”

  “Sometimes, yes. She sleeps on the couch. I don’t think she enjoys being at home.” Anna didn’t want to expand too much on Kym’s private issues. “The kids love her—Ella is always begging her to sleep over.”

  Scott’s eyes scanned what he had written. “And the time Cathy showed up and the kids weren’t there in the morning?”

  “It was the only time my job interfered—there was an emergency, so the kids stayed with my parents. I—”

  “Anna.” Scott was looking at her empathetically. “That’s enough of an answer. Every parent’s job interferes sometimes. I’m impressed it’s only been once. Look, here I am, on a Sunday.” He winked at her.

  Anna tried to stop the defensiveness that was overtaking her.

  Scott leant back in his chair. “To me,” he said, “this sounds like someone out to cause problems. It sounds like her claims are exaggerated and false, even if she believes them to be true. Nothing says neglect, and Anna, I want to reassure you that I think we’ll be coming out on top with this one.”

  A breath Anna hadn’t realised she’d been holding expelled from her chest. “Are you sure?”

  “I can’t give any guarantees. But it sounds like this is a woman whose religious beliefs and personal dislike for choices you are entitled to make as a guardian, such as day care, have led her to make some pretty extreme, false claims. All parents have their kids stay with grandparents at times. You’ve never left the kids alone, you’ve never beaten them, or verbally abused them. They are fed, in school, clothed—I don’t think she has a leg to stand on. I’m actually quite confused as to how it’s gone this far.”

  “The new caseworker was never friendly.”

  Scott’s eyebrows pressed together. “That’s also confusing me. It’s unusual to switch caseworkers, and especially to switch them, then switch back, even if Lorna was apparently on holiday. I’m wondering if the wrong paperwork got lodged or…” he paused, “something. From what I see, things are in your favour.”

  Slightly reassured, Anna nodded, though the worry still ate at her.

  “As for the ‘sexual partners’… You are allowed to date. No one said this means you need to become a spinster. We will be needing this,” his eyes dropped to his notes, “‘Kym’ to establish that she is in no way involved with you—in that manner, anyway.”

  “There will be no issue with that.”

  “And Lane will probably need to testify to the manner of your relationship. I’ll need a list of names from you for character references. Some will be written and some I may ask to testify—people like the day care workers, your boss, your mother, teachers at Ella’s school. We won’t be using Lane or Kym for these, due to the allegations made against them. But anyone else is fine.”

  They went over names and numbers. When Anna stood to go, she looked at the photo on his desk. It showed a smiling woman with her arms wrapped around two young boys.

  “Thank you, Scott. You have a beautiful family.”

  He smiled at the photo. “I do. I just happen to believe that everyone deserves to have what I have.”

  Anna nodded at him, and, as she turned to go, he called her back. “Anna! Do you mind me asking?” He grinned, and she could see the young man peek through who had probably had many a wild party with her ex in law school. “How the hell did you tie down Hayley for three years?”

  Anna almost laughed. “We thought we wanted the same things.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I just want those kids back.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be in contact. Call me tomorrow if you have any issues with Lorna. Unfortunately, they have their own policies we lawyers don’t get much say in.”

  Anna nodded, thanked him again, and left.

  She didn’t feel like she was any closer to having the kids back.

  This whole thing was like a nightmare.

  In her car, Anna sat for a minute, staring out the window.

  It looked like it would be in her favour, but Scott had said there were no guarantees. And when she had as
ked if she did get them back this week, how the permanent guardianship hearing would go, he had said they’d take it one step at a time, that if she got them back temporarily, the court usually found in favour of whomever the parents had named, come the guardianship hearing. But, he’d said, their focus was the temporary guardianship hearing and disputing the neglect claims for now.

  Anna couldn’t help but wonder, how would the permanent guardianship hearing go with this on her record? She felt ill and like her head was spinning.

  Had she, in some small way, neglected the kids for Lane? Anna hadn’t thought she had. Lane had made Anna’s life so much more positive during an incredibly trying time, and she didn’t really understand how she was meant to have stopped it from happening. Should she have?

  Her fingers gripped the steering wheel, heart pounding in her chest. In the rearview mirror, Anna caught sight of the scratches on her neck from Toby as Lorna had pulled him off her. They were tiny, thin, but long; he had not let go until forced. What if she didn’t get them back, despite what Scott said? They’d been taken once. Or what if she did, and then the judge found in favour of Cathy at the other hearing? Cathy, who had a stable home life, who wasn’t a lesbian in a new relationship; even scratch the lesbian part: Cathy, who was settled down, married; Cathy, who didn’t work full time. It had never occurred to Anna before that being a lesbian could impact this. Even after being assured by Scott and Hayley that it couldn’t, worry gnawed at her stomach.

  Cathy would never use the kids having a sleepover as an excuse to stay the night at her girlfriend’s.

  Head hurting from beating herself up, Anna drove on autopilot. After parking in her usual spot at the hospital, she sat, staring out the window.

  Jake and Sally would not want the kids in foster care, or at Cathy’s. They didn’t even want them with Anna’s parents. And considering how her father had been since Jake had died, she was starting to understand that decision even more than she had in the beginning.

  Without thinking, Anna pulled her phone out and sent a text to Kym.

  Gonna need that wine tonight, please.

  She climbed out of the car and took the back hallways to her office, avoiding eye contact with anyone who recognised her. Closing the door behind her, she stood in the room, looking around, bracing for something she realised she had been headed towards all day.