Wings of Eagles

by Annabelle Garcia

  CHAPTER 17

  

  Service passed like a dream, a dream from which I didn’t want to wake. All too soon it was over. I took one word with me, and though it didn’t seem like much to me it was everything, calling. I longed to know mine, I just didn’t know what it could be. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone call out.

  “E-Z, Karen, Debby, do you guys wanna go hang out at Hammy’s for a while?” A dark haired guy, slightly shorter than E-Z, asked.

  “Yeah, Sam, Adira’s coming too.” The guy flashed a thumb’s up and jogged out.

  “Come on, Debby you go with Uly or Karen and I’ll drive Adira.” E-Z took my elbow and led me out. I looked over my shoulder pleading with the girls to help me. They just snickered and waved. I turned just in time to dodge the door frame.

  

  “I got something for you.” E-Z said just as soon as we were buckled in.”

  “What?” I truly didn’t know what to say.

  “Here.” He reached behind me, into the back seat and pulled out a gift bag with ribbons and tissue paper hanging out. “I know Christmas isn’t for a few weeks yet, but I just didn’t want to wait.” He smiled at me expectantly; looking like he was the one getting a surprise gift.

  “You didn’t have to do this.” I had already bought the few Christmas gifts I was giving. Karen, her parents, Debby and E-Z; that was the extent of my gift list.

  “I know that, but I really wanted to. Please open it. I’d really like to see your face when you see it.” I was glad the bag was too big and too heavy to be jewelry.

  “Umm, okay.” I reached in, afraid of what I would find. I hoped it was something inexpensive, so my gift wouldn’t look bad in comparison. I pulled the box out and my jaw dropped. I couldn’t speak.

  “What do you think? I hope you like the color.”

  “A cell phone?” I managed to choke out.

  “Yeah, I knew you didn’t have one so I wanted to get it for you. And don’t worry about the bill, I’ve got it covered.”

  “No, E-Z, you can’t!” I cried out holding the box out to him.

  “But I want to.” He repeated and pushed the box back toward me. “Please, let me do this for you.” I looked down and, in defeat, opened the phone box.

  “E-Z, I don’t think this is a good idea. I mean, you are a great guy.”

  “Don’t count me out yet. Give me a chance.”

  “E-Z, it isn’t you... Don’t make me say it please.”

  “It isn’t you it’s me? Really?” His face went hard and he started the car. I opened my mouth to try and straighten things out but I decided to leave it alone. Maybe this way it would be easier.

  K

  “Sorry guys, I forgot I had some stuff to take care of. Karen, do you think you can take Adira home?” E-Z didn’t wait for a response before leaving.

  “What was that about?” Karen whispered to me as I took a seat.

  “I’ll tell you back at the house.” I whispered back.

  “So what’s your new number?” Debby giggled.

  “I don’t even know. I don’t even know how to work the crazy thing.” I handed over the phone to Debby and waited for her to do something with it.

  “So we were just talking before you got here and we were thinking of going to get our dresses tomorrow. We don’t’ have classes tomorrow and after work we can go into Houston and you can help us pick something out.”

  “Sounds good. I don’t know if I’m going to the banquet after all though.”

  “Why wouldn’t you?” Debby looked up quizzically.

  “Not sure your brother wants to go with me now.” Her phone dinged and she swiped the screen and tapped the screen.

  “Yeah he does, don’t worry about that. You gotta go. It won’t be the same without you there.” She handed the phone back to me.

  She seemed confident but I wasn’t so sure.

  CHAPTER 18

  

  Karen and I spent Monday evening with Debby going from store to store looking for the perfect dresses for them.

  “What do you think of this one?” Karen came out of a dressing room in a wine satin gown with rhinestones

  “I love it, but I liked that black velvet one better. You look beautiful in black!” Debby nodded.

  “I think so too.”

  “Don’t you think black is too blah?” She looked over at the black dress wistfully.

  “Not with your porcelain skin and beautiful ice blue eyes.” She blushed. “Seriously Karen, when Ozzy sees you walk out in that dress his eyes are gonna pop right out of his head.”

  “She isn’t lying Karen, you will be stunning in black. Of course I’m gonna look like a ball.” She frowned at the mirror.

  “Do you mind if I pick out a dress for you? I think I know which one will work on you.” I’d been scanning the racks and saw a green satin dress that would make Debby look like a princess.

  “I guess, if you think there is something here that would work.”

  “Oh I have just the one in mind.” I hurried over to the rack and picked up the dress. “Go put this on, your hazel eyes and this dress were meant to go together.” She looked doubtful.

  “I don’t know… Do you think this will fit me?” She eyed the dress wearily.

  “Trust me. It will fit like it was made for you.” I pushed her gently toward the dressing rooms.

  “How can you know for sure?” Karen asked me after Debby was safely in the dressing room.

  “If there is one thing I know, it is clothes. I always wanted to be a fashion consultant, but, well I guess things don’t always turn out the way we want.”

  “Adira! Is that you?” I froze as I heard the voice from a past I’d rather forget.”

  “Hello, mother.” There she stood, in all her fantastic glory. Perfectly coifed hair, nails buffed to a high shine, it was obvious where I’d gotten my looks and that was why I really hated it too. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw her. The woman who’d betrayed me.

  “That’s your mom?” Karen whispered in awe and wonder.

  “Oh, darling, I’ve been so worried.” She cooed as she rushed to my side. She wrapped her arms around me and I stiffened. I couldn’t stand the sight of her.

  “I’ll bet.” I said bitterly.

  “Oh baby girl. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” She still had not released me and I wanted to scream and push her away. I did neither because I simply didn’t want to embarrass Karen or Debby.

  “This is neither the time nor the place to do this.” I said to the woman who had given birth to me. I refused to call her a real mom because of all that had transpired.

  “Baby, please don’t act that way.” She pulled away slowly from me. “I’ve been looking for you for months.”

  “I’ve been gone a lot longer than that. Why did you start looking for me now? What made you suddenly care what happened to me?” I stepped back and out of her immediate reach.

  “Adira, can I take you somewhere to talk.”

  “No.” I snapped at her. “Karen, Debby, I’m sorry but I have to get out of here.”

  “Adira, I really think you should talk to you mother.” Karen said calmly. “Why don’t we all go back to my house; mom is there and she will gladly sit with you.” She looked at me hopefully.

  “Karen, I really don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I trembled now with rage.

  “Adira, give her a chance.” She took my hands in hers and gave them a squeeze. I softened; how could I refuse this girl who’d taken me in and given me so much support.

  “Fine.” I refused to look away from Karen.

  “Thank you, Adira.”

  “Why don’t you follow us, Mrs. Gonzalez?”

  “She isn’t Mrs. Gonzalez. She’s Mrs. Walker.” I sneered; correcting Karen.

  “Actually it is Mrs. Gonzalez. That’s why I’ve been looking for you. Oh I have so much to tell you and so much to ask for forgiveness.” I heard her voice break. It was all I could d
o to not turn and hug her. She sounded awful. As much as I wanted to just hate her I felt a confused storm of emotions churning in me.

  “Debby, can you take my dress up to the counter and tell the clerk I’ll be back later for it?” Debby nodded and hurried away with both dresses.

  “Are you buying a dress too, Adira?” I heard my mother ask.

  “I already have a dress.”

  “Oh, well do you need any shoes or accessories? I’d love to help you out.” She spoke softly and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I whirled around enraged.

  “YOU WANT TO HELP ME?” I shrieked, finally breaking down. “Where were you when I was sleeping in cardboard boxes? Where were you when I had nothing to eat? Where were you to help me then? That’s when I needed you! I don’t need you now. I have a job, I have a safe place to live and I have a family who loves me. They aren’t my flesh or blood yet the treat me better than you ever did.” I hissed at her. She paled and I was sure she would faint at any moment.

  “I really think we should go now.” Karen took my arm and led me out the door. I got into the car and burst into tears.

  “I’m so sorry. She just made me so angry.” I sobbed.

  “It’s okay. Let me call mom.” She quickly dialed Patricia and filled her in on what was going on. We pulled into the driveway and she hung up. “You go on in and let me talk to your mom for a second.” I nodded and rushed inside before my mother had a chance to get out of her own car. Patricia was waiting at the door.

  “Adira, why don’t you go into your room while I have a word with your mother? Karen will be down shortly. Then you can come up once you have a moment to collect yourself and speak to her. I’ll stay with you if you like.” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I didn’t want to speak to her at all, but if I had to, I’d rather do it with Patricia there.

  

  I sat on the bed with Karen behind me, brushing my hair. We sat in silence, I had nothing to say and Karen didn’t know what to say. So we sat there, breathing and doing nothing else.

  “Adira, could you come out here?” Patricia finally called.

  “Karen, I can’t do this.” I grasped at her hands as if they were the only thing keeping me from sinking into an abyss.

  “You can and you will. Just remember Philippians 4:13.” I’d been learning Bible verses and that was one Karen said was vital to know. Knowing that it wasn’t my strength but God’s that would get me through this made it a little easier.

  “Will you come with me?” I pleaded with her.

  “I’ll walk out there, but I really think your mom is gonna want to talk to you alone.”

  “Just go out there with me, at least until I’m sure I won’t run.” I laughed nervously. She smiled sympathetically and squeezed my hand.

  “Come on, let’s go.” She gave me a gentle tug and for the first time since I’d met her, she didn’t physically drag me to our destination.

  As I stepped out of the room I saw my mother sitting in the living room, eyes red and clutching a handkerchief. Patricia sat next to her with a hand on her arm. She smiled serenely and I relaxed a bit. Obviously she didn’t think my mother was any danger to me.

  “Adira, why don’t you sit there?” She pointed to the loveseat across from the sofa. “There is something you need to know and I’d appreciate it if you would listen to your mother for just a few minutes. Can you do that?”

  “Yes.” I choked out. I looked at my mother again and my heart broke seeing her looking so miserable. Physically she looked just as she’d always looked, except for the red rimmed eyes and nose, but I could see beyond that and the strong woman I’d known as a child was gone and only the shell remained. I wanted to remember all the wonderful times before she’d met my step-father; the times when I’d felt loved by her.

  “Good. Karen, why don’t you and I go out to the kitchen and get some refreshments.” She rose and they quickly left us to talk. My heart was pounding and I felt as though it would explode.

  “Adira, mija, I’m so sorry. I was so wrong and I’ve treated you worse than any mother should treat a child. I’ve caused you so much pain.” Her voice broke and she pressed the handkerchief to her mouth and fought back a sob.

  “That would be the understatement of the century. You chased me out of our house with a butcher knife!” I hissed at her. “I’m supposed to just forget about that? You believed that monster over your own child! Did he come with you?” I was suddenly frightened. What if they’d come together to take me back. Well they couldn’t make me. I was an adult and they couldn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to.

  “No, Carl is in jail. You were so right about him. A year ago I found out for myself just how wrong I was to believe him over you.”

  “Jail?” I shuddered just imagining what he could have done to land him in jail.

  “Yes, you don’t need to know all the details, but suffice it to say, I divorced him as soon as I could and made sure he couldn’t come anywhere near me ever again. Mi niña linda, perdoname. Please forgive me.” I stared blankly at her. I wasn’t sure what to do.

  “I …can’t.” I struggled to say. “I’m not going back with you. I just can’t go back there. I’m sorry. I have a new life now, and a new family who wouldn’t ever turn on me the way you did. I’m going to church now, did you know that? You never cared about me enough to take me, they did, they took me in when I was filthy, inside and out. They didn’t care. They showed me love anyway.” I was on a roll now.

  “I know mija, Patricia told me. I too have started going to church, that is one of the main reasons I began to search for you. I’d convinced myself I’d done enough damage already. At first I thought I would just leave you alone and let you live your life, I was sure you would be doing better without me in your life, but then I had a dream.” I looked at her in disbelief.

  “A dream made you look for me?”

  “Actually, a dream lead me to you.”

  “Yeah, good one, mom.” Sarcasm dripped from each word.

  “Believe it or not, I dreamed you were at that dress shop. I even saw your friends with you. I had to see if you were really there, and you were. It had to be God.”

  “Mami,” my voice cracked with emotion, “even if I believed you were sorry, and I’m really trying, I can’t deal with this.” I felt my will to be angry at her failing quickly.

  “You don’t have to forgive me for me, do it for you. I don’t want you to be bitter because of me.” She took a deep breath and continued. “I spoke to Patricia and I’m going to visit your church, if you don’t mind. I want to be close to you, I want us to try and work things out.” The tears began to flow down her face again and before I knew it, I was crying too. I’d thought I could hate her easily, but I was wrong. I wanted to hug her I wanted to tell her I forgave her and I still loved her, but soon we were both crying too hard to speak. I stumbled across to her and fell to my knees and hugged my mother.

  I turned when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Patricia and Karen were standing behind me, supportive smiles on their faces. I would never be able to thank them enough. I wasn’t ready to go back to my mother’s house, but I was ready to start repairing our relationship.

  “Karen, why don’t you and Adira go on and pick up your dress. I’d like to talk to Mrs. Gonzalez for a while.” The waterworks had just ended and I still wasn’t composed.

  “We’ll go out the back. That way we can kind of get ourselves together.” Karen gestured to her tear streaked face.

  “That’s fine.” Patricia smiled and nodded. “I’ll see you girls later.” I hugged my mom once again and quickly left before I could start crying again.

  

  “Are you okay?” Karen asked as I was cleaning streaks of mascara off my face.

  “I think so. I just…” I didn’t want her to think badly of me.

  “You don’t have to leave, Adira. You are welcome to stay here for as long as you need.” She wrapped her arms around me and smiled at
me through the mirror.

  “Thanks.” I relaxed immediately. “Now let’s get going, I have a feeling that the clerk is gonna be fighting off the girls for your dress.” She giggled and we left arm in arm through the side door in my room.

  “You aren’t mad at me are you?” Karen asked as we got in the car.

  “No, why would I be mad at you?”

  “For pushing you to talk to your mom.”

  “I can’t be mad at you. You just did what you thought was right. I should thank you. If it wasn’t for you and your mom… well let’s just say I wouldn’t be on the road to getting to know my mom again.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “You know she really does seem different. Not like the person I knew when I was growing up.” There had been some change. The woman who’d chased me with a butcher knife and the woman who’d just held me as we wept were two different women. One I hated and the other I couldn’t wait to get to know.

  “When we come to God things change, remember 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. That is what is happening with your mom. She is a new creation and so are you. The old you would have held a grudge. The new you is ready to start again. God is good that way.” I pondered what she said as we drove over to the dress shop.

  “So you mean God made me not be mad at my mom? Even though I wanted to totally be mad at her?”

  “Well He didn’t make you not be mad at her, He simply helped you to open your heart to forgive her. God will not make you do anything, you have free will and He will never force you into anything at all.” We pulled up to the store only ten minutes before closing. It was a good thing too. With just a week before the banquet we needed to make sure everyone was ready.

  “Oh, you came back!” The sales girl exclaimed. “I’m so glad. People have been asking about this dress since you left. I was just hoping you weren’t gonna flake out on me. I even have a waiting list.” She held up a piece of copy paper with names and phone numbers.