by Sykes, Julia
“Can I help you with something, Vaughn?” Master asked the man coolly as his thumb traced small, soothing circles across the palm of my hand.
Vaughn. I recognized the name. This was the man who had argued with Master.
“I was just coming to check in on you, James.” Vaughn’s voice was cold as he emphasized Master’s surname.
Master sighed, and his shoulders dropped slightly as the aggressive tension left him. He looked weary and a little apologetic. “Shit. Sorry, Clayton. Things are better.” He smiled down at me gently and gave my hand a little squeeze. “She’s through the worst of it. We were just laying a few ground rules.”
Clayton leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest, one eyebrow arched. “Ground rules?” He asked drily. “Do you mean to tell me you’re giving her orders?”
Master’s forehead creased, and I was amazed to find that he appeared slightly chagrined.
“It’s not like that, Clayton,” he said gruffly. “She responds better to rules. This is why she needs me here instead of some nurse. I told you they wouldn’t understand.”
They were talking about me as though I wasn’t there, but it didn’t bother me. I was used to that. And to be honest, I didn’t want to be caught up in whatever tense exchange was passing between the two powerful men.
Clayton studied Master for a minute before sighing. His hard stance eased, his arms dropping to his sides. “Okay, Smith. I get it. I just don’t want you to intimidate her.” He turned his blue eyes on me. “Are you alright with Smith touching you? He’ll leave if you want him to.”
Master shot him a glare, but Clayton ignored him.
“No!” I said quickly, my hand tightening around his. “I mean yes. I’m okay. I want Master to stay.” If Master wasn’t there to tell me what to do, I would be lost. And if he wasn’t there to maintain his claim over me, someone less kind might decide to take me.
Clayton scowled at Master.
“I’ve told her not to call me that,” Master said defensively. He turned his hard gaze on me. “In fact, it’s one of her rules.”
I opened my mouth to apologize, but he continued on over me.
“She’s only just woken up,” he told Clayton. “I was just trying to explain what’s happened to her.”
“I guess I came at a good time, then,” Clayton said smoothly. “Can I come in?”
I was startled to realize that he was addressing me. Was he actually asking for my permission? Bewildered, I stared at him for a full minute, but he just waited patiently for my response. I finally managed a single, jerky nod of my head. A part of me still feared this was some sort of elaborate trick the two men were playing on me. Or maybe I was still dreaming.
I was pulled from my tangled thoughts by Master’s firm order.
“Drink.”
I obeyed, parting my lips to accept the delicious drink that he offered to me once again. As I eagerly gulped it down, I did my best to ignore the uneasiness that stirred in my stomach at the sight of Clayton’s furrowed brow. The frown he turned on Master was disapproving, but he said nothing as he pulled up a chair and gracefully settled his powerful frame down onto it.
His eyes were kind as he regarded me. They were so earnest and open that my suspicions that he was trying to trick me melted away.
“No one is going to hurt you.”
I could definitely believe that Master’s promise applied where Clayton was concerned.
“My name is Clayton Vaughn. I work with Smith at the FBI,” he introduced himself. “Has Smith explained where you are?”
I glanced over at Master, waiting for his approval to speak to another man.
“You can talk to Clayton,” he assured me. “You don’t need permission to speak freely to anyone.”
The latter statement was almost more than I could wrap my mind around. I hadn’t spoken to anyone but my former master for so long, and even then I was told what to say. Words hadn’t come of my own volition in a long time, and now my new Master was telling me I could do so. He was ordering me to express myself as I wished.
Only a short time ago, I wouldn’t have been capable of even thinking of words without specific instructions, but now my mind was remarkably clear. If I could speak freely, then maybe I was also allowed to think for myself.
The idea was almost as terrifying as it was tempting.
After a moment, I nodded. “Yes. Ma- He told me I’m in a detox center.”
Clayton’s eyes clouded over at my near slip-up. He seemed disturbed, but he remained focused on me rather than turning his ire on Master again.
“We’ve been trying to locate your family so we can inform them of where you are. When we found you at Decadence, you didn’t have any ID on you, and we couldn’t track down the man who brought you there.” His features tightened at the mention of my former master, but he quickly schooled his features to something non-threatening. “I can understand if you’re… estranged from your family, but it’s our job to get you back to them so they can support you in your recovery. We need to know your name so we can do that.”
Panic unfurled in my chest like a choking vine, twining up around my windpipe and restricting my ability to breathe. I remembered how angry Master had been on the night he had found me. He had demanded to know my name, and none of my answers had satisfied him.
I made the mistake of shooting him a terrified glance, and I found myself caught in his steady silver stare.
“Tell me your name, girl.”
It was an order. I had to answer. But my reply would be no different now than it had been before.
“Slave,” I whispered tremulously.
Both men tensed, the force of their anger pressing against me like a lead weight on my chest. My hand twisted in the sheets anxiously.
“I’m sorry. What do you want to call me?” I asked desperately. Master had promised not to hurt me, but I still feared his retribution if I displeased him.
Master’s voice was calm when he answered me, but his eyes were still commanding me to comply with his order.
“I want to call you by your real name.”
I didn’t have a name. She had a name once. But that was before she was abducted and broken. And now that I had come out of my delirium, I could scarcely recall the time before I had come into being. I certainly couldn’t remember a time before she had been taken. That was too painful to face. That woman was gone now. I had buried her so deeply within me that she would never surface again. The very idea of it terrified me. If she returned, then I would cease to exist. And I didn’t know how to be her anymore.
“She…” I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. “I don’t have a name. I’m sorry.”
Master didn’t look angry any longer; he looked profoundly sad. And more than a little disgusted.
“Okay,” Clayton said gently. “That’s okay. You just need time. St. Paul’s has you listed as ‘Jane Doe’ for now. Is it all right with you if we call you Jane?”
The name meant nothing to me. I wasn’t Jane. I wasn’t even a person. But if allowing them to call me that made the painful questions stop, then I would happily agree. I took a deep, calming breath.
“Yes,” I said, my voice small. “You can call me Jane if that’s what you want.”
Master frowned, dissatisfied with my reply, but he said nothing.
“Can you tell us the name of the man who brought you to Decadence, Jane?” Clayton asked gently.
I shook my head as the panic reared up once again. “Master. He was just Master.”
My new Master’s hand tightened around mine, his grip almost crushing. “Don’t call him that,” he bit out, fury bleeding into his tone.
“I’m sorry.”
I seemed to be saying that a lot. It seemed a waste of my new capability of expressing myself. It suddenly bothered me that I was so contrite. My voice was a bit stronger as I elaborated, exploring my new range of vocabulary.
“He never allowed me to call him anythin
g else.”
Master’s grip eased as he visibly reined himself in. “We’ll figure out his real name, sweetheart,” he promised me gruffly. “For now, if you have to refer to him, I want you to call him ‘that Bastard.’ Can you do that for me?”
“That Bastard.” I tasted the crude word on my tongue, and I found that the flavor gave me immense satisfaction. I didn’t belong to him any longer. My new Master wouldn’t let him hurt me ever again, and I owed him no loyalty. The corners of my lips twitched upward in an unfamiliar way.
Master returned my smile, his grin both encouraging and vindictively satisfied. I was flooded with warmth at the sight of it. I had managed to genuinely please him. His lips weren’t twisted in cruel satisfaction as my former master’s – that Bastard’s – had so often been.
“Unfortunately, there aren’t any surveillance cameras around Decadence. The owner wanted to protect the patrons’ privacy, so we don’t have any leads on the Bastard so far,” Clayton informed me. “Could you give us a description of him if we got a sketch artist in here?”
The Bastard’s face flashed across my mind, his pleasant features spoiled by the sick, lustful light in his pond scum eyes. I blinked the image away, focusing instead on the strong line of Master’s jaw and his mesmerizing molten silver eyes. There was nothing disturbing about the light in them.
“Yes,” I said firmly. “I could do that.”
Now Clayton was smiling at me too. My bewilderment at the men’s approval was overshadowed by the warm glow in my chest.
There was a soft knock on the open door, and my attention turned to the short, slightly plump middle-aged woman who was standing at the threshold to my room. Her soft brown eyes were regarding Master warily, but when she addressed him, her voice was saturated with asperity.
“Am I allowed to come in now, Agent James?” Her words were tart, but her drawl called to mind slowly dripping honey. “I need to check Jane’s vitals.”
Clayton shot Master an exasperated look. “Of course you can,” he told the woman apologetically. “Don’t let James bully you out of doing your job. We all want Jane to get better.” He spared Master a significant glance, but Master just shrugged.
The woman strode confidently into the room. “Agent James seems to think us incompetent in that regard. But far be it from me to question the FBI when it comes to treating a patient. I didn’t realize that all agents were required to attend med school.”
Clayton seemed to be torn between amusement at the woman’s gumption and disapproval of Master. “I assure you we don’t. James is here to protect her, not to treat her.” He stood smoothly. “And now that Jane is awake and has answered our preliminary questions, it’s time for him to leave.” He looked at Master expectantly, but Master didn’t move.
“I think I’ll stay a while longer,” he said assertively. “There’s a lot more that we need to find out.”
Clayton frowned at him. “We’ve got enough for today. Do you really want to push her further? You can come back tomorrow.”
Master shook his head. “I’m staying one more night. She shouldn’t be alone.”
Clayton crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Master as though willing him to leave me.
But I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted more of Master’s kindness. Now that I was allowed to express my wishes, I intended to take full advantage of that capability. I looked Clayton squarely in the eye when I spoke.
“I want him to stay,” I said, my voice clear and even.
Master smiled down at me, and my stomach did a little flip. I definitely didn’t want him to go. He was so kind to me. He would take care of me. I didn’t want to lose that.
Clayton sighed. “Okay. If you want him here, then he can stay.” His brilliant blue eyes were as hard as sapphires when he turned them on Master. “But I expect to see you at work tomorrow. And let the nurses do their jobs, for god’s sake.” He addressed the woman who was now standing by my bedside. “If he keeps being rude, please let me know, and I’ll haul him out of here.”
Master glared at him. “I’d like to see you try.”
Clayton returned his icy stare. “Don’t think that I won’t.” Aggressive tension filled the space between the two men as their wills squared off against one another. After a moment, Clayton’s tense stance eased. He wasn’t capitulating so much as he was allowing reason to quell his alpha urges. “I just want Jane to get healthy. She can’t fully recover until we’ve found her family and caught the man who hurt her. I know you want to help with that, Smith.”
Some of the tension left Master as well. “Why do you always have to be so goddamn reasonable, Vaughn?” He asked.
Clayton shrugged and gave him a small smile. “One of us has to be. Besides, I like being right all the time. It knocks you down a few pegs and saves the rest of us from your frankly staggering ego.”
Master snorted. “Right. I’m the one with the huge ego. Says the Golden Boy who can do no wrong. In his opinion.”
Clayton clapped him on the shoulder. “Yep. And it’s not just an opinion if I’m right.”
Master brushed his friend’s arm away. “Get out of here, jackass.” The insult held no real malice. “We can pick up this pissing game tomorrow. I’ll see you at the office in the morning.”
Clayton nodded his agreement before turning his easy smile on me. “I’ll see you soon, Jane. Promise me you’ll tell James off if he’s annoying you.”
“I will,” I lied.
“Goodbye, Vaughn,” Master said pointedly.
Clayton ignored him, winking at me before he turned to leave the room. I decided that I liked him.
For the first time in a long time, thinking for myself didn’t have painful consequences.
Chapter 4
“My name is Susan,” the kindly-looking woman who was checking my blood pressure introduced herself. Now that she was closer to me, I could tell she was perhaps a bit older than I had first estimated. Streaks of pale grey mingled with the light blonde wisps of hair that escaped her loose bun. The defined lines around her eyes and mouth were creased from years of broad smiles. She addressed Master in a tone that brooked no nonsense, but her voice was warm when she spoke to me, her softly reassuring smile reaching her eyes.
“Hi,” I said shyly. I felt a bit awkward not introducing myself as well. Half-remembered social conventions were flitting around at the corners of my mind. But I still didn’t have a name. Everyone seemed to want to call me “Jane.” The name didn’t mean anything to me, but I would respond to it.
And I hadn’t failed to notice that Master didn’t address me as “Jane.” He always called me “sweetheart” or “girl.” I was accustomed to being spoken to as though I was less than a person. Honestly, the idea of having a real name had terrifying implications about my own autonomy and sense of responsibility for myself. It was much easier to put my trust in Master and follow his orders. And his terms were so much more affectionate that “whore,” “slave,” or “fucktoy.”
I took it as a sign that he had accepted ownership of me. He really was going to take care of me. And he didn’t seem to expect anything in return other than my obedience.
I could scarcely believe that this wonderful, beautiful man had decided to keep me. I was no longer afraid of my present or my future, and I would bury my painful past just as thoroughly as I had buried the woman I used to be.
Susan’s hands were gentle as she took inventory of my body, and Master never let go of my hand. Although my muscles still ached, I couldn’t recall feeling more pampered.
The bed I had been given was soft and warm, and the room was brightly lit. Even when Susan and Master weren’t speaking, the world was still rich with the sounds of humanity. The hallway outside my room was peppered with the soft slaps of footfalls, rustling papers, and disjointed flashes of conversations. Nothing had ever felt so real. It might have been overwhelming if Master hadn’t been there, his hold on my hand grounding me. Nothing could hurt me while he was with me
. He had promised.
Once she had finished checking me over, Susan took down a clipboard that hung on the wall beside my bed and made a few notes.
“Everything looks good,” she told me brightly. “You’ve gotten through the worst of it, Jane. Now we just need to get you healthy. I’m going to get you something to eat. You need to put some weight back on.” She eyed Master. “I’m going to leave you with the caveman for a little while. Are you okay with that? I can stay with you if you would prefer.”
“That’s okay,” I said quickly. “I want him to stay.”
It was odd expressing my own wishes. The word want felt strange on my tongue. But I was bolstered by Master’s approving smile. I was so entranced by it that I barely noticed that Susan’s lips were pursed in disapproval.
“Alright,” she conceded. “I’ll be back to check on you later.” She delivered the reassurance to Master like a warning. He just gave her a sardonic little wave, dismissing her. She rolled her eyes at him and planted her hands on her hips. “The call button is on the side of the bed, Jane. Don’t hesitate to use it if you need me.”
She left the room, muttering to herself. I definitely heard “Yankee men” and “should never have left Georgia” as she stalked out.
“I don’t think she likes me very much,” Master remarked casually. “But I have to give her credit; she’s the only nurse who’s come in here since I told them all to get the fuck out unless you needed immediate medical attention.”
He was smiling at me softly. I was fairly certain I liked Susan, but I didn’t care that Master had been rude to her. It wasn’t my place to comment on it anyway. And it made me feel safer knowing that he had kept strangers away from me. Now that he had staked his claim, I was confident no one would dare to take me from him. I would fight anyone who tried.
That thought shocked me. Defiance never crossed my mind. But Master was kind to me, and I was tentatively beginning to enjoy the freedoms he had granted me. I wasn’t going to give that up easily.
