by Sykes, Julia
“Thank you,” I said softly. I added on Master in my mind, but I didn’t say it aloud. That was against the rules.
His smile faded, his expression taking on a new intensity. “You don’t have to thank me,” he told me, his voice low and rough. He cupped my cheek in his large hand. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, little one.”
Little one. He hadn’t called me that before. I liked the sound of it. I felt so small in his grip, but there was no fear that he would use his strength against me. The way his deep, rich voice caressed the words made it an endearment rather than a belittling term. Without thinking, I leaned into his touch, pressing my cheek against his palm.
The depth of my trust in him might have been jarring to me once, but I didn’t have the option of not trusting him. He was my Master now, and my fate was entirely in his hands. Even if he had been cruel to me, I wouldn’t have questioned him.
But I also wouldn’t have found comfort in his touch.
We sat in silence for a while, and I closed my eyes as I relished the feel of his fingers running through my hair.
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit overly-familiar with Jane, Agent James?” Susan emphasized his job title.
Master pulled away from me, and I was amazed to find that he was shifting uncomfortably in his chair, as though he had been caught doing something he oughtn’t.
“I don’t mind,” I defended him quickly, reaching for his hand. I hated the coolness that hit my skin when he released me.
Susan pursed her lips again as she eyed the way he wrapped his fingers around mine. But then her eyes came to rest on my anxious expression, and her demeanor softened.
“Okay, sweetie. I just don’t want Agent James doing anything inappropriate.”
Master bristled. “Is that an accusation?” He asked, his low tone holding a dangerous edge.
Susan squared her shoulders, meeting his challenge. “It’s an observation,” she countered.
“If you had any idea what she’s been through, you would know just how disgusting that insinuation is.”
“I do have an idea,” she said sharply. “And that’s why you shouldn’t be touching her at all.”
“Stop.” I was shocked by the authority in my own voice. “I want him here.”
Susan studied us for a minute, her gaze flicking to Master and back to me. My eyes were wide as I silently pleaded with her not to anger him. I needed him to stay by my side.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, little one.”
“Please,” I added softly. “He’ll keep me safe.”
Susan sighed. “No one here is going to hurt you, Jane.”
Master squeezed my hand, calling my attention back to him. “She’s right. No one will hurt you ever again. And you don’t need me by your side to keep you safe from anyone here.” His expression was strained, as though he had to force himself to make the admission.
I trusted him implicitly, but it was difficult to believe him.
Susan nodded her approval. “It seems you can be sensible after all, Agent James. You might just be hiding a decent person under all of that alpha male bullcrap.”
I couldn’t believe that she had dared to insult Master. I expected his anger, but I was stunned when his warm, rich laughter filled the room.
“I suspect that I might like you as well if you weren’t so goddamn bossy.”
Susan tried and failed to suppress a smile. “See? I knew that you could be reasonable.”
Master chuckled again, smiling easily at Susan for the first time. I was relieved that his open hostility towards her had faded. Susan’s presence was warm, non-threatening. And I didn’t feel that I had to defer to her in the same way that I did to Clayton. Although he wasn’t as fierce as Master, he was still a man, and an imposing one at that.
Susan briefly retreated into the hallway to retrieve the food she had brought for me. Once she had set the tray up before me, I looked up at Master imploringly. He stared back at me for a moment, his eyes appraising as he tried to puzzle out what I needed.
Anger flashed across his features when comprehension hit him. He quickly smoothed his taut expression, but his eyes still glinted like sunlight on cold steel.
“You can eat,” he told me firmly. “You don’t need permission.”
Master granted me another freedom. I could speak as I wished and eat whenever I wanted. The concept of exercising so much free will was terrifying. I re-arranged his words in my mind so that they were orders.
Speak freely. Eat when you want to.
The knot of tension in my chest eased. Obedience was so much easier.
Susan turned her attention back to Master. “I don’t suppose I could convince you that the staff here are more than capable of looking after Jane overnight, could I?”
Master regarded her levelly. “Will you be here tonight?”
Susan’s cheeks flushed pink, and she looked slightly abashed. “No,” she admitted. “I won’t be back until tomorrow morning. And although I’m flattered that I’ve earned the hardass Agent James seal of approval, you have to believe me when I tell you that she’s in good hands here.”
Master dismissed her insistent words. “I’ll stay here until your shift starts tomorrow.”
Susan sighed. “All right then. But you have to allow the nurses to come check on her periodically. The worst of the withdrawals have passed, but Jane is a long way from being healthy.”
Master gave her a short nod, allowing the small concession. “Okay. But I don’t want any male nurses or orderlies in here.”
“I think that’s sensible,” Susan agreed. She turned her warm smile back on me. “Goodnight, Jane. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Thank you.” I liked the words. I hadn’t been allowed to express gratitude in a non-sexual way in so long. And even then I hadn’t been truly grateful. I had been desperate for my fix, for the pain to end.
I fought back the urge to shudder at the brutal memories.
That part of my life was over. Just as I had forsaken the woman I had been before I had been broken, I would bury the slave who had lived to serve her former master. Now that I had my new Master, I could be a different person. I could find joy in serving him that was far greater than the hollow bliss I had received from that Bastard’s rewards.
I didn’t even realize Susan was gone. Master was my whole world now, and I watched him greedily. I would do whatever was required of me to convince him to keep me. He would see that I was a good slave, and he would never want to let me go.
He rubbed the pad of his thumb across the back of my hand in a slow, soothing rhythm.
“You should get some sleep, little one,” he said gently.
Go to sleep.
That was an order that was easy to obey. I closed my eyes and was quickly pulled under by my exhaustion. This time, I wasn’t haunted by visions of torture as I slept. That version of myself no longer existed. And Master’s firm grip on my hand reassured me that I would never have to be that abused, degraded slave ever again.
Soft light filtered into my room, and I opened my eyes to behold the long-forgotten sight of dawn. The pale beams of the morning sun slanted through the half-closed blinds that obscured the window across from my bed. Hints of the outside world were visible through the gaps in the blinds, but the brilliant green of foliage and steely grey of distant buildings held little interest for me.
I much preferred to study the way the light played across Master’s features, illuminating the planes of his face and creating shadows beneath his brows. I longed for him to open his eyes, to see their silvery light cutting through that darkness.
Although the stubble on his jaw had lengthened to darken his cheeks, there was a deeper shadow just to the right of his full lips where a dimple would appear when he smiled. I craved to please him so he would bestow that smile on me once again.
“Master,” I whispered, awestruck. I relished the word as it left my lips. He was so breathtaking.
And I was his.
The corners of his lips quirked up as he stirred from his sleep, his large body shifting in the too-small chair he had pulled up beside my bed. But to my dismay, when he opened his eyes, his lips twisted downward in a frown.
“Don’t call me that,” he said softly. He sounded almost pained.
My heart sank in my chest. I had disobeyed him.
“I’m sorry,” I said anxiously. My fingers closed around his hand like a vise, as though I could keep him by my side if I just held on to him tightly enough.
His expression softened, but he still regarded me seriously. “This is one rule you cannot break, sweetheart. You can’t call me ‘Master.’”
I nodded vigorously before he could tell me he wasn’t my Master at all. I couldn’t allow him to reject me and leave me vulnerable.
“I promise I won’t,” I said fervently. “I’ll do better. I’ll be good.”
His brow furrowed as he studied me carefully, as though he was considering what to do with me. Although I believed that he wouldn’t hurt me for my transgression, I still feared he would rebuke me. And I didn’t know how to earn his forgiveness if he didn’t want me sexually.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized desperately, using my words to express myself as he had instructed me to do. I could follow his rules. I could. I stared at him imploringly, willing him to believe that.
He touched his fingers to my cheek in an effort to calm me. “It’s okay, girl,” he reassured me. “I’m not angry with you.”
“Thank you,” I whispered gratefully.
Thank you for forgiving me, Master.
There was a knock at the door. Susan didn’t wait for Master’s permission to enter.
“Good morning, Agent James,” she said cordially. “And goodbye.” She glanced at our intertwined fingers. “I promise you Jane’s hand won’t fall off if you release it. It will still be firmly attached to her wrist when you return.”
Master frowned at her. “You’re here awfully early,” he remarked.
Susan shrugged. “I came in early. You’re not the only one who wants to see Jane get better, you know. And I was concerned you might have ignored my stipulations and kept the other nurses out of the room during the night.”
“I wouldn’t do that. As many people have pointed out, I don’t have a medical degree,” he said coolly.
Susan nodded curtly. “You’re getting more and more sensible all the time,” she said with approval. “If you’re ready to admit that you’re an FBI agent and not a doctor, then might I suggest you go back to your own job and allow me to do mine?”
I clutched Master’s hand more tightly. I didn’t want him to leave me. My heart twisted as I took in his regretful expression.
“As much as I hate to admit it, she’s right,” he told me. “I promised Clayton I would help him track down your family. Don’t worry,” he reassured me. “I’ll come back as soon as my shift is over.” He turned his attention back to Susan. “How late will you be here?”
“I’m here for twelve hours. I’m supposed to get off at six.”
Master nodded. “I’ll be here at five-thirty.”
Susan sighed heavily. “I don’t suppose I could persuade you to sleep at your own home tonight, could I? Jane needs some room to breathe.”
“No, you couldn’t,” Master replied unequivocally.
Susan threw up her hands in exasperated defeat. “Fine. I’ll see you at five-thirty.”
Master’s expression softened. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
Susan blinked hard, taken aback. “I’ll stay with Jane today,” she promised, all signs of bossy disapproval gone. She placed a tentative hand on Master’s arm. “I might not approve of your interference, but it’s obvious that you have a big heart under all that machismo crap. I’ve seen law enforcement agents bring in addicts more times than I can count, and they leave as soon as they possibly can. It’s nice to see that you’re so invested in helping Jane. And so long as you allow me to treat her, I’ll allow you to stay.”
Master gave her a lopsided smile. “I would stay whether you allowed it or not. But I appreciate it.”
He turned to me, his expression gentle and somewhat reluctant. “I have to go now, sweetheart.”
I fought back the urge to protest, to beg him to stay. He had ordered me to express myself freely, but I knew that didn’t extend to open defiance.
“It’s okay,” he said soothingly, sensing my distress. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
I swallowed back my panic at the prospect of being without him. I had no option but to agree. Besides, he had appointed Susan to look after me, so I had to trust his judgment. I forced myself to nod, communicating my acceptance of his wishes.
“That’s a good girl,” he said gently before squeezing my hand one last time. The apprehension that gripped me at the prospect of his absence was burned away by the warm glow that pulsed to life in my chest in response to his tender praise.
He nodded once at Susan before leaving me. I wanted to cry out at the loss of his reassuring hold on my hand. His touch had been my anchor since I had awoken to my new life, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the day without it. But he had promised to come back. I had to trust him. I would be good.
“Are you sure Agent James isn’t making you uncomfortable, Jane?” Susan was frowning slightly, disapproval etched in her soft features. “I understand if you’re scared to tell him you don’t want him to touch you. I’ll keep him out if he’s bothering you.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I’m not scared of him.”
I’m only scared of him leaving me.
But I didn’t dare say that aloud. It was Master’s will that I remain in Susan’s care until he returned, and I wasn’t going to protest.
Susan still appeared slightly uncomfortable. “Well, if you’re happy with the caveman being here, then I’ll look the other way. I really do appreciate that he cares so deeply about helping you recover, but he is acting inappropriately.”
I said nothing, and after a moment, Susan’s easy smile returned. “How about we get you some breakfast?” She asked brightly. “We need to get your calorie count up.”
I nodded my assent. Master had ordered me to eat without waiting for his permission, so I would comply with Susan’s wishes.
But my compliance was soon tested. After breakfast, Susan tried to convince me to defy one of Master’s orders. Even though he wasn’t there to witness my transgression, I didn’t want to break another one of his rules. He had been so disappointed in me when I had slipped up and called him “Master.” I only ever wanted him to be perfectly happy with me. I had promised I would be good, and I fully intended to keep that promise.
Susan had brought me into the bathroom so I could use the toilet and take a shower. I was so weak that I couldn’t walk the short distance to the bathroom without her assistance, and she insisted that I sit down while taking a shower.
But once I was seated, she began tugging on the laces that held the back of my hospital gown closed. I quickly twisted away from her.
“You don’t have permission to remove your clothes.”
“Don’t,” I said desperately.
Susan placed her hands on my shoulders, trying to steady me. “It’s okay, Jane. I just need to take your gown off so you can get clean.”
“No!” I protested sharply. “I can’t do that.”
Susan’s soft brown eyes gazed into my own. “I’m not going to hurt you, Jane. You can trust me.”
“I do,” I assured her, my voice rough with my rising panic. I had to make her understand. “But I can’t take off my clothes. He told me I wasn’t allowed to.”
“That man isn’t going to hurt you anymore, Jane,” she assured me firmly. “You don’t have to do anything he told you to do.”
She thought I was talking about that Bastard. “No. Not him. He wouldn’t let me wear clothes.”
I wasn’t sure how to explain myself. I couldn’t refer to
Master as “Smith” or “Agent James.” He hadn’t given me permission to call him by his name. But I wasn’t allowed to call him “Master” either. Tears began to form at the corners of my eyes as my frustration and fear overwhelmed me.
Susan’s brows drew together in puzzlement.
“Please,” I begged raggedly. “I know he left me with you, but I’m not supposed to take off my clothes.”
Understanding dawned in Susan’s eyes, and she scowled as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket along with a business card. Glancing at the card, she punched in the number and held the phone to her ear.
“Agent James,” she said coldly into the receiver. “Could you please explain to me why Jane thinks she can’t take off her clothes?”
I could hear Master’s deep voice rumbling on the other end of the line, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. After a moment, Susan pulled the phone from her ear and held it out between us.
“You’re on speakerphone,” Susan informed Master, her voice a bit louder than was strictly necessary.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Just the sound of his voice made most of the tension leave my muscles. Master would tell me what to do. And he would know I had been good. I hadn’t allowed Susan to persuade me to break his rule.
“Hi,” I answered softly.
“I need you to do what Susan says.”
My stomach clenched. Had I done something wrong? I had thought my obedience would please him, but apparently I was supposed to obey Susan in his absence.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized tremulously. I had already disappointed him once today. What would he do to me now that I had failed him twice in the space of a few hours?
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he reassured me. “You didn’t do anything wrong. But I need you to mind Susan when I’m not there. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes,” I said fervently, clinging to the promise of his forgiveness like a lifeline.
Susan was scowling at the phone. “Thank you for your help, Agent James. But you and I will talk about this before I leave tonight.” There was no trace of her usually sweet demeanor in her narrowed eyes.
But I was too jubilant to allow her anger to bother me. Master knew I hadn’t broken his rule, and now he had given me a new order to follow.
