Just Say The Word

by Tiffany Patterson

“I’m going to go change and pick up the lunch I ordered,” I told Emma as we headed into the changing room of the gym.

  She nodded. “See you back in the office. Oh, an attorney from Wittaker & Wittaker is stopping by over the Steve’s Diner case.”

  I squinted. “That wasn’t on the schedule.”

  She nodded and swallowed the water she’d just taken a sip of from the plastic bottle in her hand. “They called this morning while you were in the meeting for Mason’s case. It’s just an introduction thing, or maybe they’re looking to settle. Either way, we’ll find out. Wittaker is your old firm, right?”

  “It is.”

  “Oh, maybe it’ll be someone you know. I can’t remember his name.”

  I paused, my heart squeezing in my chest, and not in a good way. Thankfully, Emma strolled off and I took a minute to remind myself I was likely being irrational. There was no way he could be the one working this case. None at all.

  I kept repeating that assurance to myself as I changed back into the black pants I’d worn to work with a matching bow belt at the front, and a maroon silk blouse that I tucked in at the waist. I chose to slip my feet into the black ballet flats I kept in my desk for when I needed to run errands and didn’t feel like wearing my heels, to go and retrieve my lunch.

  Since I’d been feeling so good lately, I’d opted to treat myself to the diner next to our office building. I’d ordered a tuna melt with a tomato bisque soup. As I exited the deli with my food in hand, I was thinking about how I’d only eat half of the tuna melt and save the other half for Monique since she enjoyed them as much as I did, when out of the corner of my eye a male figure entering into my office building had me freezing in place. I blinked and he was gone, passed through the doors of the building.

  “It’s not him. It can’t be him,” I mumbled to myself, reassuringly. I strained to think back to the last days at my previous firm. Trying to remember what type of law he’d practiced. I hoped to hell it wasn’t employment law.

  “What are the chances?” I reasoned out loud, standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I quickly clamped my mouth shut and proceeded into my office building.

  I forced myself to think about the mountain of files on my desk that I needed to get through and that I would definitely be eating while working. But the entire time I tried to think about something else, my mind was screaming at me that something wasn’t right.

  I made it back up to the firm’s office and my desk, my eyes darting around the office for any trace of the man I thought I’d seen entering the building. I pushed out another breath, and again, forced myself to think about the work at hand.

  Placing my food on my desk, I changed from my flats back into the black pumps. Sitting down, I put in my password to reboot my computer and reached for a file that was at the top of my pile. I was in the middle of researching old sexual harassment cases involving waitresses around the country.

  Before I could even open the file, I startled when the phone on my desk rang. I glanced up to see Emma’s extension.

  “Yes, Emma?”

  “Sandra, could you come in to take notes for this meeting?”

  I swallowed. “S-sure thing.” I hung up the phone, not even knowing why my body was trembling. After grabbing my tablet, I headed for Emma’s office which was only across the hall and down a few feet from where my desk sat.

  I knocked before entering as the door was partially shut.

  “Come in,” Emma called on the other side.

  I pushed the door open and my eyes first landed on Emma, who raised an eyebrow. “Sandra, please meet Mr. Jameson,” she stated before I was even able to fully enter her office.

  I began shaking my head from side to side before even seeing him. When I finally did, I nearly dropped the tablet I’d been holding.

  “Oh God!” I blurted out. “E-excuse me.” I glanced down at the tablet that I’d caught right at my knees before it hit the floor. When I looked up again, there he was.

  Randy Jameson.

  Tall. Almond-colored skin, and dark brown eyes. He’d grown a goatee since I’d known him in high school. I’d seen that the one day he’d been introduced as the new attorney at Wittaker & Wittaker. The one day I also happened to be away from my desk when he was being walked around introduced. That same day I caught a glimpse of him just in time to duck behind one of the empty office doors until he passed by so he wouldn’t see me.

  It was that same day that I’d gone to meet Kayla in the Williamsport Park nearly in hysterics on how I couldn’t continue working at the same place he worked at.

  “Sandra and I don’t need introductions,” he stated.

  My throat filled with bile and I had to internally beg my body not to deceive me by throwing up right there and then.

  “We’re old friends. Right, Sandra?” Randy’s voice was sickeningly sweet.

  I wanted to scream at him to never say my name again, but what came out was, “Y-you wanted me to take notes?” I directed my gaze at Emma, ignoring Randy’s words entirely. It was the only thing I could do to keep it together.

  Emma gave me an odd expression. Typically, I’d apologize for my rudeness, but I couldn’t. Not then. And not to him.

  “Yes,” she nodded, “that would be great. Mr. Jameson.” She held out her hand, gesturing to the office chair in front of her desk.

  I moved to the corner of the room where the leather chair that was placed by the window sat. I could’ve sat in the other chair, next to Randy, but that wasn’t happening. Thankfully, Emma didn’t question me about it. With shaky fingers I did the best I could to type out notes from that meeting. Though my stomach roiled with nausea throughout the meeting upon learning that Wittaker & Wittaker had assigned Randy Jameson as the lead attorney on this particular case. That would mean running into him, God only knew how many more times, before this case wrapped up—which could take months, or possibly years.

  I sighed in relief once the meeting was over.

  “I’ll go type these up and send them to you,” I told Emma as I brushed past her and out of the office. I didn’t bother to look at her, certain she’d have another odd expression on her face. The notes were already typed up, seeing as how I’d been working on my tablet to take them, but I couldn’t stop to explain to her that being in the same room as him for one second longer would cause me to crawl out of my own skin.

  I made it back to my desk, sighing as I placed the tablet down. I pushed the lunch that remained untouched into the top drawer of my desk. My hunger had long since disappeared. Instead of sitting down, I opted to head to the restroom to gather myself. Hopefully, by the time I emerged Randy Jameson would be long gone.

  I made it to the restroom and just stared in the mirror for I don’t know how long. I reminded myself that I was not that naïve, eighteen-year-old girl anymore.

  “This can’t be happening,” I pushed out, while reaching down to wash my hands, simply because I needed something to do. I felt dirty just being in the same room as him.

  Drying my hands, I figured enough time had passed and that he would have left the office by now.

  Apparently, my luck had run out for the day because as soon as I exited the bathroom and took three steps toward the main entrance of my office, I slammed into a hard body. Revulsion surged through every cell in my body and I jumped back, out of the hands that held me by the arms.

  “Don’t touch me!”

  “Whoa!” Randy held his hands up in a mock surrender as if he was harmless.

  That movement pissed me off even more. I took another step backwards.

  “What’s all that about?”

  My fists tightened at my sides and my jaw dropped. How dare he even ask me a question like that.

  “Sandra, it’s been a long time. Whatever happened in the past we—”

  “Whatever happened … Are you serious right now?” I squeezed my eyes shut before opening them and inhaling deeply. I had to force myself to remember I was at work. I needed to get out of there.
“Just stay the hell away from me,” I growled before spinning around and walking back into the women’s restroom just so I wouldn’t have to brush past him on my way back to the office. Again, I perched over one of the sinks, closed my eyes, and steadied my breathing. However, the anxiety, fear, and shame refused to quit pulsing through my entire body. I needed to get out of there or else I would explode.

  After peeking my head out of the bathroom door to ensure that Randy was no longer in the hallway, I stepped out and hightailed it to my desk. By then, it was nearing two o’clock but there was no way I could remain in that office for three more hours.

  “Emma, I need to uh, go. I need to pick up some medicine for Monique.”

  Emma’s head popped up from her desk, surprised. Her eyebrows raised as she stood. “Is she okay? Did she get sick again?” she questioned, worry lines creasing her forehead.

  A pang of guilt moved through my chest. I shook my head. “No, she’s okay. But I forgot to pick up her insulin and she will need it.” I swallowed down the shame I felt for lying and using my daughter’s illness to do it. “I’ll take my laptop home with me so that I can get some work done later.”

  Waving her hand, Emma nodded. “Go do whatever you need to do.”

  My shoulders slumped as I sighed in relief. She was so understanding. “Thank you.” I didn’t give her or anyone around a second look as I gathered my belongings and practically fled the office. I needed to be out of there, but I also didn’t want to be alone at the moment, either. There was only one person who would understand what I was feeling, so as I pulled out of the parking garage from my office building, I made a right onto the street that would take me directly to Kayla’s office.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sandra

  “I need to talk to you,” I stated, bursting into Kayla’s office. Thankfully, she was alone, and once I’d told the receptionist in the outer office I was looking for her, she let me go right in.

  Kayla’s auburn curls bounced as her head shot backwards at the abrupt manner in which I’d entered her office. She stood, her left hand going to cover her belly as she rose.

  Again, guilt rose in my belly and I felt embarrassed and ridiculous bothering my heavily pregnant friend while she was at work no less.

  “What’s wrong?” Kayla questioned, coming over to me.

  I shook my head. “You know what, this was stupid. I was totally overreacting. You don’t need me bothering you.” I started to leave but Kayla wasn’t having it.

  “If you take one more step, I will pick up this phone and call Damon and tell him to get his ass down here immediately.”

  I spun around, eyes enlarged, mouth ajar, staring at her. “You wouldn’t.”

  “I absolutely would. Try me.”

  She was serious as a heart attack. Sighing, I relented, shutting her door all of the way, and ambled my way over to the chair across from her desk. I slumped down in my seat, watching as Kayla eyed me before sitting down.

  “Now tell me what has you so upset.”

  “Kayla, really, if you have patients—”

  “I am free for the rest of the afternoon. I was only doing paperwork which I hate anyway so I’m available. Start talking.”

  Pushing out a heavy breath, I glanced up toward the ceiling. “I saw him.” That was all I could say at first.

  The room became silent for a few heartbeats. I raised my head to look up at Kayla. She wore an empathetic expression as she leaned back in her high-back leather chair.

  “By him you mean—”

  I began nodding. “Him. The reason I left my last job, him. The man who—” I couldn’t say it. I shook my head, biting my lower lip and turning to look out of the window to my far right. “I was feeling so happy this morning.” I turned back to Kayla. “I was in a good place. Damon and I are … perfect. Well, maybe not perfect, but closer than I’d ever expected to be. Monique is doing great. She hasn’t had an incident in weeks. The pump is working well. I enjoy the work I’m doing.” I was even talking with my grandmother regularly. I’d let Monique sleep over her house a handful of times, and she’d loved it every single time. Monique would come back singing my grandmother’s praises.

  And then this happened.

  “Maybe it’s a sign.”

  Raising my gaze, I met Kayla’s eyes. Slowly she stood and moved around her desk, her belly leading the way.

  “Perhaps this happened for a reason.”

  “And what reason would that be?” I questioned, feeling defensive all of a sudden.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s what you’re supposed to be finding out here.”

  I stood, shaking my head, pacing back and forth in Kayla’s office.

  “Sandra, listen to me,” she began, but paused long enough for me to turn my attention on her again. “You never confronted what happened to you. I’m the only person you’ve ever told. It’s been long enough. Maybe it’s time you tell someone. Seek therapy or some help.”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t need to do any of that.”

  “And if you don’t you’ll always be running from it. Just like I was.”

  “I’m not like you Kayla. I’m not brave—”

  “Bullshit!”

  My eyes widened at how adamant she’d become.

  “You happen to be one of the bravest people I know. You look at your daughter every day and love her just as much, if not more, than any other caring mother I’ve seen. You’ve taken care of her, diabetes and all, by yourself for the last ten years. If that’s not bravery what is it?”

  Snorting, I turned my head, my hair brushing the tops of my shoulders.

  “You’ve been running from this for a long time. It’s not easy to confront the truth about what happened and how Monique was conceived but it’ll be worth it.”

  My vision became blurry as my eyes glassed over. I began trembling at the idea of talking about this with anyone else. With Kayla it had been difficult, but something had propelled me to share my secret with her. Once I’d learned what happened to her, I’d realized why it’d been easier sharing with her. She had experienced something similar. Not quite the same but close enough I could open up to her about it.

  “Here,” she said as she moved back around her desk, as quickly as her belly would let her. Opening one of the top drawers, she pulled out a business card. “I got this for you a while ago.”

  Taking the card, I eyed the pink, purple, and blue colors speculatively. I squinted even more once I read the name on the card. It was a support group for women who’d been sexually assaulted.

  “I went there myself.”

  I looked up at Kayla. “When?”

  “Right after I found out I was pregnant.” She rubbed her belly, cradling her baby in the only way she could for now. “I thought I’d worked through everything that happened to me, you know? We went to trial, he was convicted. I was married and in love. Then I found out I was pregnant. And while we still don’t know for sure the sex, the thought of having a daughter …” She trailed off.

  I swallowed, remembering the days of my pregnancy.

  “The thought of something like this happening to her—” She shook her head, her words breaking off. “So I went and I talked and I listened.”

  “Did it help?”

  She nodded.

  “Does Josh know you went?”

  She gave me a little smile. “He drove me to the meeting, and waited outside the whole time. And each time I’ve gone since that first time.”

  Swallowing, I closed my eyes. I wonder if Damon—

  No. I wouldn’t even think about that. I opened my eyes. “I’m not you, Kayla. Thank you for listening to me but I’m better now. I need to go.” I grabbed my pocket book, stuffed the card she’d given me inside, and made a beeline for the door, shutting it behind me. Thankfully, that time she didn’t try to stop me.

  I made it all of the way to my car in the parking lot before I felt the urge to cry. I cursed myself for feeling so we
ak. It’d been more than a decade. I’d taken self-defense classes for years. Hell, I’d taken down a guy twice my size in a nightclub just two weeks earlier. I should be over it by now. Seeing Randy after all this time shouldn’t bring me right back to the spot I was when I was eighteen years old. Without thinking, I pulled out my cell phone and pressed the number for the one person who always made me feel strong, whether he realized it or not.

  “I was just thinking about you.”

  His deep voice had a calming effect on me with just those six words.

  “Yeah? What about?”

  “I’ve got something for you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I’ll show you when I see you tomorrow night.”

  A small smile touched my lips.

  “Everything cool? You sound … not like yourself.”

  I sat up in my car and tried to straighten myself out even though he couldn’t see me. He obviously had a sixth sense. “I’m okay just a rough day at work.”

  “Case kickin’ your butt, huh?”

  I worried my bottom lip. “Something like that. What were you working on?” I questioned.

  “Just got out of a meeting about buying one of the abandoned buildings on Lakefront.”

  I nodded, remembering that he’d told me about that meeting the previous night when we’d talked on the phone. I smiled as I remembered how he’d Facetimed with Monique and I so we could read her a story together before she went to bed.

  “How’d it go?”

  “It went well, I guess. I’ve been eyeing this property for a long time. For years. It’s taught me to be patient, but we’re close to owning it. I can feel it.”

  He was so sure of himself, his ability. I sometimes wondered what a man like him could possibly see in someone like me.

  “You sure you’re all right?”

  I perked up. “Yeah. I’m fine. I was just taking a break from work and wanted to hear your voice. No big deal. Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Allright—” I don’t know what else he’d been getting ready to say since I hung up the phone so quickly.

  Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was getting close to three. I figured I’d call Ms. Oralia, Monique’s sitter, and let her know she could take the afternoon off. I’d pick up my daughter from school and we could spend the afternoon and evening cuddled up on the couch, watching movies and eating popcorn or something. That was all I had the energy for at that moment. And knowing my baby girl was okay, was the only assurance I truly needed, or so I tried to convince myself.