white dawn (Black Tiger Series Book 3)

by Sara Baysinger

  Tears threaten to break through, but I swallow them back and look away. It’s strange having someone understand me so deeply—even more than I understand myself.

  “How can you know that, though?” I ask, pushing past the thickness in my throat. “The others—they saw the same things you saw. They knew I didn’t kill Ember when I could have, yet they don’t want to give me a chance. Everything I do is an act to them.” I think of Rain and how there is nothing I can do to gain his trust. “Why you? Of all people, why are you being so nice to me, when everyone else from the Resurgence wants to see me fail? I understand Walker’s reasoning. I’m his niece. But what have I done to earn your trust?”

  He slows his pace and stares at me. He closes his mouth and swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing, then he opens his mouth to speak again. “I know.”

  I shake my head, trying to think of some secret I might have hid from him that he knows about, that he’ll use against me when he talks to the Resurgence. But there’s nothing, no secret, because I’ve been completely open with everyone.

  “Know…what?” I finally ask.

  “I mean, I knew. I knew…” He shakes his head, and stops walking, regret filling his dark eyes like he just can’t push the words out. “I knew…about…you. While you were locked up. Since I became Captain of Defenders, I knew.”

  I feel like the breath is knocked out of my lungs. “What? How could you possibly—”

  “Krin told me. When I was visiting my father, who was the gardener for the Turner household, she realized I wasn’t brainwashed. Because brainwashed folk don’t visit their families. When she didn’t reveal my secret, I knew I could trust her. And…she told me about you. She pulled me aside one day and told me how you were locked up, had a child, and how that child was stolen from you. She told me Titus blocked all contact between you and her, and how she was afraid something was going to happen to you…or her. She told me if she mysteriously disappeared, that I should break into your room and get you out of there as soon as possible.”

  I look down, surprised at this revelation, touched that Krin had a back-up plan for me.

  “Holy Crawford, Aurora,” Mcallister whispers. “I knew. I knew you were locked in the basement, and I did nothing to help you. I would step into the mansion to report to Titus every morning, knowing he had a sister locked up within these same walls. Krin assured me you were safer there until your time came, but it killed me knowing there was an innocent girl being held captive against her will.” He swallows and shakes his head. “You were the mystery within these walls. You were Titus's well-kept secret. I didn’t know who you were, whose side you were on, but I made a promise to myself that if something ever happened to Krin, I would shake heaven and earth to get you out of captivity.”

  I pick at my nail, chew the inside of my cheek until the bitter flavor of iron fills my mouth. I want to cry, because one of my biggest fears was that something would happen to Krin and I would be left at the mercy of Titus. Or that something would happen to both of them and no one would know of my existence. The relief that Mcallister was there, waiting, knowing, wanting to rescue me…it fills my bones and melts my heart and gives me hope.

  But…poor Mcallister.

  “Your knowledge of me was just another giant secret you had to keep from Titus. How hard it must have been for you to keep so many emotions hidden, so much knowledge carefully veiled.”

  The muscles in his arms tense, but he nods. “I never want to be in a place where I have to pretend like I’m something I’m not again.”

  “Are you pretending now?” The question slips before I can retract it. “I’m sorry. I—”

  “No,” he says, his voice urgent. “I’ve been more real these past few weeks than I have my entire life. Aurora, I’m being completely up front and honest with you. Everything I say, everything I do, it’s real. If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

  I nod and lick my lips. “Your honesty and trust mean the world to me. Please don’t ever feel like you have to be someone else around me. Okay? There aren’t too many people I can trust right now. You’re one of the few that I do trust. I can’t lose that.” The thought of him seeing me as a villain and turning against me…it breaks my heart for some reason that I can’t understand.

  “You’re on the right track, Aurora.” His eyes burn into mine, and the warmth of them spreads through my bones. “Stay on this track, and you won’t have to fear losing my trust.”

  We continue walking. My mind is reeling with the knowledge that as of the past year or two, Mcallister knew all about me.

  I laugh and shake my head.

  “What’s so funny?” he asks.

  “When I was locked in my room, I watched the surveillance cameras a lot. You were almost always in them. Especially when Ember made an appearance, since I was watching her every move. I knew you weren’t a brainless Defender. But I had no idea you knew about me.”

  He looks sharply at me. “You knew I wasn’t compelled? And you didn’t tell Titus? I was one of his most trusted Defenders.”

  I shrug. “You kind of gave yourself away in the hotel when you had that heart-to-heart with Ember about being controlled. But, you didn’t pose a threat, so I didn’t report that to Titus. Besides, you were still willing to serve. What made you different from all the brainless Defenders? I knew Titus would have had you killed if he knew you weren’t a Delta Blood. But I saw no point in your death, when you were doing your job.” I look away. “I just had no idea you were working with the Resurgence…or that you knew about me.”

  “I guess I can cover up some tracks.”

  We arrive at the door to the basement, guarded by two Defenders. One of them nods in acknowledgement and opens the door for us and leads us down the stairway. Mcallister places his hand on his holster, his Defender instinct kicking in.

  We walk down the dimly lit hall, our footsteps echoing off the concrete floor, until we arrive at the end of the hall where light slants out from beneath the doorway. I stop in front of the door. Take a deep breath. And knock twice.

  Not waiting for an answer, I type in the code in the keypad and the door slides open.

  Titus is sitting by the fire, his feet propped up, his elbows resting on the armrests and his fingers linked over his stomach. He wears pink flannel pants and a white T-shirt that’s way too snug, and it’s so strange seeing him dressed down—in girl clothes. I guess I never had his own clothes delivered, apart from what he wore at the Transition of Power ceremony two weeks ago.

  I gesture for Mcallister to wait by the door, but the other Defender follows me in, staying close by my side as I walk into my old room. This room brings back so many memories that make my stomach tighten into a hard ball. The familiar stench of mildew is enough to make me want to throw up. I thought coming here would be comforting. It was my one safe spot. My womb, so to speak. It was all I’ve known for sixteen years, and I was so sure that I would be tempted to stay and hand the leadership back over to Titus. But I don’t feel any of that. I’m disgusted. Sick. I feel myself withdrawing, and I want to turn around and run out of the room.

  But I have business to attend to.

  “So,” Titus says, keeping his gaze on the fire. “My favorite sister finally decided to pay me a visit.”

  “Where’s Gideon?”

  “Our son is someplace safe.” He looks at me grins. “Don’t forget that I’m the father. I have just as much say over his life as you do.”

  My heartbeat. I can hear it thrashing against my eardrum, feel its quickening rhythm in my neck.

  Deep breath. Showing my anger will only give Titus a sense of victory and fuel his arrogance.

  “Where is he?” I ask again.

  “Not in Ky.”

  I blink. “So, Nashville?”

  “My dear sister. Did you think I told you everything? Nashville isn’t our only contact outside of Ky. We have closer allies than even them.”

  �
��Certainly not the Indy Tribe.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Definitely not Indy.”

  “Then who?”

  “Not telling.” His voice is oddly musical. I know this voice. It’s the voice he uses when he’s so sure of himself. When he’s one-upped me and he’s not afraid of anything. I’m still waiting for him to pull the rug from beneath my feet. He’s been way too cooperative.

  “If you don’t tell me,” I say through gritted teeth. “I’ll kill you.”

  He closes his eyes a moment, then looks at me again. “You’re going to kill me if I don’t tell you, and you’re going to kill me if I do tell you. So why would I give you the satisfaction?” He shrugs and looks back at the fire, his jaw clenching. “At least I’m guaranteed a longer life if I keep it to myself.”

  I chew the inside of my cheek. He knows me so well. How I think. How I reason. I told Walker I would hand him over to the Proletariats—who will, no doubt, kill him—after I got this piece of information from him. But what if he never tells me? I could torture him, I suppose. But Titus is so much stronger than me. He possesses too much pride, and no amount of torturing could get anything out of him.

  Still…maybe I should try.

  But before I threatening him with tortuous interrogation… “I need some advice on leading,” I say, knowing the approach of a lost ignorant will soften him up a little. I come around to the other chair and sit down, taking on a less threatening pose.

  “Obviously you do,” he says. “No doubt, you’ve created quite a mess.”

  “I cancelled the executions.”

  “So there will be uprisings about the tigers. Our people love their tigers.”

  “Yes. Well. I have that all figured out, thanks to Nashville.” I don’t bother telling him how I broke all ties with them in the process.

  Titus slowly claps. “Good job, little sister. Figuring things out on your own. So what’s the problem?”

  I look down at my hands. “I, um, can’t seem to get the Patricians off my back.”

  He smirks. “After all those training sessions I gave you on leading, you still have no idea what you’re doing?”

  “I can lead,” I snap. “I can work through the politics and understand the machinery of running a country. I just—you never taught me how to make people like me. I mean, the people hate me. I haven’t even done anything major to piss them off.”

  He smirks. “But you’ve done something minor?”

  “Well…for one, I asked them to donate clothes they don’t need. That didn’t sit too well with them.”

  “For what possible reason?”

  “So we can share the wealth! So when the Proletariats come around after receiving the antitoxin, they’ll feel like they’re being treated equally.” I shrug. “I…I don’t know what to do.”

  He looks down long lashes shadowing his cheeks. “When was the last time you threw a party?”

  “A p-party?”

  He nods.

  “Um. We’re kind of in a delicate condition to be throwing parties. I mean, I’m trying to ration out the food, since the rest of Ky is pretty much starving.”

  “Ah, there’s your problem.” He lifts his green eyes to mine. “The Patricians love their parties, Aurora. That’s their daily highlight. Picnics. Parties. Balls. I hosted meal events several times a week. I fed them the best foods from outside the country. Gave them news to gossip about and occasions to look forward to. Offering hope is the easiest way to garner friendships. The Patricians have everything they could possibly want. Give them social activities and good food and drink to keep their spirits up, and they will love you for it.” He huffs out a laugh. “Honestly? If you just set up a donating party, where they could bring all their donations to the festivities for the less fortunate, they would have willingly complied and probably donated more than you asked for.”

  I lean back in the chair. Of course. Titus might be a heartless snake, but he sometimes does offer the best advice. Maybe I won’t have to worry about the Proletariats rising against me…if I offer them hope, too.

  “So, just a party?” I ask.

  “One party for donation. Several more parties to gain their trust back. And you have to be there. You can’t just throw a party and not be present. The Patricians like to feel special and popular. Don’t you remember me teaching you this? You have to talk to them. Know them by name.”

  “I already know most of them by name.”

  “Then show them that. Show interest in their lives, meaningless as they are. If every one of them thinks they’re your best friend, you’ve got a lot of best friends. They’ll be loyal to you, no matter what laws you execute to destroy the country. They will support you, as long as you let them in on your secrets.” He sighs and leans his head back. “As for your politicians, if you make them feel like they can play an important role in your plans, they will do almost anything.”

  “How can they help?”

  He lifts his head. “You want to give the country the antitoxin, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Give them each a task. I’m sure you already have some idiot Resurgencies in charge of distributing the antitoxin, but make the politicians at least feel like they’re in charge. It’ll give them sense of responsibility.”

  “Any idea on which politicians I should trust more than others?” I’m not sure why I’m confiding in Titus, but he’s got his genuine face on right now, and I think I’ve known him long enough to know when he’s telling the truth.

  He nods. “Olivia Doss can be trusted, believe it or not. She tried to move heaven and hell to making me promote her into Congress. She doesn’t care how the country is run, as long as she’s at the top. She will do whatever you ask. Um, Oscar Erickson. He might be an old chump, but he knows his stuff. And, of course, Congressman Thomas Turner.” He looks at me. “Forest’s father.”

  The unexpected mention of Forest makes my chest constrict. Titus looks at the floor, and a hollow expression fills his eyes.

  “Do you ever…regret killing Forest?” I whisper.

  “He was my best friend.” He lifts his eyes to mine, and his gaze hardens. “But…he wanted to take me down.”

  “But that happened anyway. Don’t you wish he was still alive, to, you know…”

  Titus stands and turns his back to me, places his hands on his narrow hips. “I don’t regret killing Forest. And I don’t regret killing Ember. They would have both killed me in a heartbeat, and I couldn’t have that.”

  “Ember only wanted you dead because of what you did to her.” I stand. “You tried to kill her three times.”

  “And I’m glad she’s finally dead.” He turns, pins me with those green eyes. “I don’t regret killing her any more than I’ll regret killing your Defender.” He reaches behind his chair, pulls out a gun and aims at my Defender. Before I can process what’s happening, I leap in front of the Defender and squeeze my eyes shut, nearly collapse when I hear a loud BANG.

  I stumble, but the Defender grips my arm. When I open my eyes, I realize why I don’t feel like I’ve been shot. Mcallister has Titus's arms pulled behind his back, and the gun lies on the floor.

  “Out,” Mcallister orders. He stares at me from behind Titus. “Please, Aurora. For your own safety. Get. Out.”

  I nod and spin around, race out of the room, and press my back against the wall. My heart is racing. I can’t believe Titus just tried to kill an innocent Defender. Did he really think I would come here with just one? Would he have shot me after shooting that Defender? I don’t even want to know. What I do know is, I need to have this room searched for more hidden weapons as soon as possible. I hear a few thumps, then Mcallister and the other Defender step out.

  “Where did he get that gun?” I breathe as we walk down the hall.

  “This is Titus. I’m sure he stashed it in that room years ago and never told you.”

  Of course. That’s so like Titus. He would want to make sure he ha
d a means of protection in every room. Especially after he slept with me and I started hating him.

  Mcallister and I ascend the stairs behind the other Defender. We arrive to the top step. The Defender opens the door and steps out, but before I can follow, Mcallister slams the door, grabs my wrist and gently turns me to face him. I can hardly see his expression in the darkness of the hall, but I can see his eyes glittering in the faint light. Fear spikes my bloodstream. I knew I couldn’t fully trust him.

  “I don’t mean to frighten you, Aurora. And I know you’re still shaken by what you encountered in there. But I don’t know when I’ll have another chance to say this without any listening ears.”

  I can’t breathe. I always wondered why Mcallister was the only Resurgence member to be on my side—he was just waiting for the right time to strike.

  “Go ahead,” I seethe, waiting for whatever blackmail he’s about to dispel. I’m about done dealing with conniving men.

  He releases me, but his breath invades the space between us. “I respect you, Aurora. I think you’re truly a good person.” He lifts his hand, and I flinch, but he brushes a loose strand of hair from my cheek, ever so gently. “I admire you. Maybe a little too much.”

  “Oh.” An unexpected warmth comes over me by the sincerity in his voice.

  He lowers his hand, searches my eyes, his own glittering in the faint light. “It’s because of that I’m willing to wait for you to make changes. I trust you. But, I heard what Titus said in there, about throwing parties for the Patricians. That’s all great, but if your willingness to please the Patricians overrides your desire to free your people, I can’t say that I’ll support you then. I’m telling you this, because we just talked about honesty, and this is my honesty. You turn your back on the Proletariats and the Resurgence, and you will not have my support.”

  I blink. “I understand. And…I appreciate your honesty.” I turn toward the door, eager to be out of his intimidating presence, but he grabs my shoulder and firmly turns me to face him again, and his sudden familiarity is so strange, because Mcallister’s been acting like a Defender this whole time and now that we’re alone, cloaked in the darkness of the stairwell, he’s acting a bit more like a rebel.