“This is Trevor and Rebel, or the new versions of Trevor and Rebel,” he said, his eyes two intense pools of blue ink. “The people we once were ended when the world ended. It doesn’t matter who we were or what we did before the virus hit, all that matters is what we see now. I don’t care how much money you made before, how famous you were, or who you fucked. What matters to me is the woman I have in my arms. This is the woman I want to know. The woman I see right now. You want to leave behind what you were before, right?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“So do I. In my old life I worked, I ate, I slept, and I partied too much. That was the extent of it. I’m not proud of who I was before. This is my fresh start. I get to be the man I’ve always wanted to be. You get to be a new person, too. I will only judge you against the woman I see right now, in front of me, not against who you used to be in Hollywood. Get it?”
“I do.” And she did. She really did.
“And I want the same in return. You judge me for the man I am now, not who I was, what I did for a living, none of that shit. The man you are looking at, that’s who you judge.”
She nodded, wondering what he was hiding. Had he fallen in with the wrong crowd and he regretted their former influence in his life? Maybe he’d been fired from his job? He’d started a business and it failed? Had he been living in his mother’s garage, trying to make ends meet? She had a hard time imagining these scenarios because, despite his rough exterior and the occasional crass language, his vocabulary was peppered with big words. Adam, the ex-marine sniper, and Christian the former head biologist for the Department of Fish and Game, both treated Trevor like a peer. She’d noticed the way they all spoke to him, deferred to him and included him as a true friend, a part of their team. The other survivors in their small group trusted this man.
That told her all she needed to know.
Everyone had something embarrassing in their past they didn’t want brought up. He’d probably had a job he hated that didn’t pay much. He’d been smarter, wanting more, but life wasn’t giving it to him. And from what he’d said, about not having anyone to lose…that made her sad. He’d had no one at the end he could love and trust. Maybe his parents had died long ago. Maybe he’d been an only child or he wasn’t close at all with his brothers or sisters. Who knew? A fresh start might be exactly what a man like Trevor needed—a chance to prove what he was worth. A chance to create a new “family” for himself.
“Do you regret the swastika?” she asked. Because, she had to ask.
“Everyday,” he answered. “Putting that on my neck was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?”
“You’re asking me to judge you for who you are now, so let me try.”
“You trust me enough now to stay in my bed, to take this cock?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
Prior to the apocalypse she would’ve never met Trevor. If she’d seen him walking down the street she would’ve stolen a second glance of course, because he was stunning in exactly the way she liked, but their lives had been so vastly different, there was no way they could’ve met. Here, in this room with the generator running and the solar power doing its job, the air conditioner humming in the window—the end of the world had brought them together. In the present they were at the exact same position, going through the same shit together. It felt good to imagine for even a moment that she might have a partner in this new world, someone to share a bed with, someone to tell her worries to, to make plans with.
If anything, even when this passionate relationship with Trevor didn’t work out long term, she’d still made a new friend, found another like-minded companion she could confide in. And that was gold.
But no way was she going to think more of the inevitable end of this relationship as it was starting. That was just depressing.
“Watch.” His hands were suddenly on her stomach, sending sparks of warmth wherever he touched. He reached for the hem of her pink Nevertheless, She Persisted T-shirt. Her favorite shirt, the one she’d brought with her all the way from Malibu, the shirt that brought back a smile to her face and pleasant memories of solidarity and tens of thousands of women standing together. Good times.
“What are you doing?” she breathed.
He didn’t answer her at first, intent on his mission of unclothing her. He took off her shirt, lifting it over her head, and carefully unhooked her lacy cream-colored bra. She sat there and let him, her breath quickening, mesmerized by this strange turn of events.
“I’m fucking you in front of that mirror,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice, when her torso was naked to his dark gaze. He reached up from behind her and cupped both of her breasts, his fingers pinching her nipples and causing her to yelp at the bolt of electricity at his touch. “Take off your underwear and shorts.”
She nodded, unbelievably turned on by this bossy side of Trevor. The area between her thighs instantly tingled as if the “hot and bothered” switch had been flicked. This was the same man who’d boldly strummed her clit in the parking lot that morning, kissing her hard and making her come, taking what he’d decided was his. God, she loved this side of him. He was her kinda man.
He let go, giving her space, and she eagerly stood up and wiggled out of her shorts and slid her undies off until she was as naked as he was. His eyes fixated on every movement she made.
He’d slid back farther onto the bed. He reached for her, lifting her as if she were light as air and placed her on his thighs again, both of them still facing the mirror. His eyes collided with hers, and her breath caught in her throat. His hard shaft pressed against her ass. Rebel sighed. This was the sexiest thing ever. He looked amazing, his blazing tats standing out in relief next to her pale, unmarked skin. She’d had lots of hookups in the past, done many things that would be considered sexually adventurous, but she’d never done this before, and she was already wet at the idea of watching herself, and watching him, as he fucked her. She squirmed and sat up straighter, lifting her chest, showing herself to him but trying to distract him from the sight of her thickening waist.
“Watch what I’m doing to do to his new Rebel.”
Her chest tightened and she clenched her jaw, determined not to tear up at his beautiful words, referencing the speech she’d given him that morning about getting to know her better, the real her, the new Rebel that survived the apocalypse. He’d remembered. Oh God, she couldn’t take her eyes off him.
“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he growled.
His hands roamed up her arms and over her shoulders. He touched her reverently, as if she were a goddess on a pedestal.
“You ever done this before?” he asked with a husky voice, his lips brushing against her ear. “Made love in front of a mirror?”
“No.” She wasn’t even used to hearing a man refer to sex as “making love.” Most men were eager to “fuck” and nothing more. Well, she was eager to fuck, too, but this “making love” component wasn’t so bad either. She could get used to this.
“Good.”
His lips went to her shoulder and administered feather-like kisses that made her skin bask in the warmth of his attention. His big, rough hands continued to stroke her arms, moved to her ribs and then ever-so-gently to the sides of her breasts. She sucked in a breath. His hands trailed close to her nipples. She watched his fingers, aching to be touched, but he denied her.
His hands went down, down, and touched her thighs. He explored there, his fingers doing light but glorious things to her skin, sending all of the girly signals to her core. Leaving her achy and needing and wanting so much more. His touch was delayed sexual torture.
“Open your legs. Use your fingers to show me your pussy.”
Oh God.
She did as ordered, shocked at the eroticism of the whole situation and scared at how much this man turned her on. There she was, her legs spread wide, the image reflected back in the mirror. Her blonde pubic hair was a bit untamed bec
ause no more waxing at the salon, but whatever…inner lips, swollen clit and impossibly wet pussy…all of it a feast for his eyes. And for hers.
His rough hands cupped her breasts and he pinched her nipples, both at the same time. A circuit of electricity shot straight to her pussy. She moaned and slumped back against him, her breath erratic.
“Tell me,” he rasped.
“What?”
“Tell me. Beg me for it.”
“I want you. I need your big cock inside of me. Now.”
“Oh fuck,” he groaned.
Rebel watched him pull out a condom from literally nowhere. Her eyes widened. He tore it open and rolled it on in record time. Unfortunately, she didn’t get a good look at his cock. Maybe later…
He looked back up and winked at her.
“I like you more.” She grinned.
He chuckled.
She adjusted. His hands cupped her ass, lifted her up, and his cock unerringly found her entrance. He moved one hand to notch his shaft at her cunt, moving it around in her slick heat.
“Please…please,” she begged.
He slid into her in one smooth motion, balls deep, pushing as far inside as he could. They both groaned.
“Don’t come yet. You come when I say you can.”
How did he expect her to hold back when he was strumming her clit? She squirmed in his lap, desperate for release and at the same time trying to delay the inevitable.
They both still faced the mirror as he fucked her. She watched his wet cock sliding in and out of her pussy. The way his hands grasped her hips, his veiny forearms tensed with activity, the harsh, intense look on his face as he watched where they were joined.
“I’m going to fuck you hard now, while you watch. You like it hard?”
She nodded, beyond excited at the thought of this blond god fucking her hard. He placed both hands on her hips as he slid almost all the way out until his tip remained, then held her down as he slammed back in. She leaned her head back on his shoulder, trying to muffle her cry.
“That’s it, baby,” he said. “Hold on.”
He kept hammering his cock up into her, striking against spots she didn’t know existed. She could feel it building, feel the mother of all orgasms lurking there, just out of reach. The enormity of it was a bit scary. That beautiful cock kept thrusting, pounding, bottoming and pulling out to slide back in again. She kept her right arm behind her, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck, riding him, desperate to stay as close as possible to this glorious man.
Then he moved one hand back between her legs, right where he was joined with her, and he pressed a finger against her clit and started rubbing. She panted, trying to catch her breath, holding on to him for dear life. God, he was beautiful. A big, gorgeous man who knew how to talk dirty and fuck her hard. She fisted his hair. Their bodies glistened with a sheen of sweat as they worked together towards their release.
“Oh God,” she gasped. “That’s it. I’m going to—”
“Come on my cock, darling. I want to feel you.”
He turned her head and kissed her, absorbing her scream as the best orgasm of her life started to rock through her body.
He let go of her mouth. “Watch yourself,” he ordered.
She turned to look in the mirror as the orgasm tore through her. He pounded up into her harder, keeping it going, creating aftershocks. Her pussy clenched around his penis, holding tight. It was hard to keep her eyes open, so she couldn’t see everything. It tightened at her belly and down into her thighs. Wave after wave of pleasure so intense it might be the death of her.
“Coming inside of you,” he groaned. She opened her eyes to watch where their bodies joined, thrilled that he was coming just moments after she had. His pumping stalled and she watched his cock throbbing, his balls pulse as he shot his come. It was stunning.
He stayed inside of her, keeping them joined. She leaned back against him, spent. Neither of them said a word as their breath evened out.
And suddenly she was scared. Scared at the intensity of her emotions and scared that he didn’t feel the same way.
Chapter Eight
“Let’s get this meeting started,” Christian said, shuffling papers on the kitchen table.
“You got the PowerPoint?” Trevor asked.
Christian set up the screen and plugged the projector into the laptop. “Yep, it’s right here.”
Trevor rolled his eyes. The comment was meant as a sarcastic joke, but Christian actually did have a PowerPoint. He glanced up to see the title of the first slide: Can we convince Rebel & Justin to stay?
Trevor snorted, sat back in his chair, and crossed his arms. “She’s staying.”
Last night he’d finally fucked her. In front of a mirror they could both watch every detail. It was something he’d always wanted to do and being with a woman who wanted it as much as he did was a huge turn on. It was the best sex of his life. He’d come so hard, it bolted down his spine and sent sparks of electricity into his goddamn toes. It bled him dry, leaving him gasping for air, wanting more. Wanting to keep her naked and locked in a room with him for a week—fucking, eating, talking, and then fucking some more.
This morning he was in the kitchen of the main house waiting for their usual Wednesday usual “staff meeting.” Sebastian sat across the table, quiet and pensive. Trevor wasn’t sure why, but he had an idea it had to do with Phoebe, who sat beside him, also playing quiet.
Josie was standing next to Christian, who was letting her help him focus the projector. Christian was good with kids. Sometimes Trevor forgot that he’d been a father before the end.
Adam and Rachel strolled in, last as usual, giggling like teenagers. Rachel’s hair looked mussed, her lips were swollen and her eyes bright. Adam had a smug look on his face. For once, this didn’t stick in Trevor’s craw. There was no feeling of being left out. He had his own woman, who he assumed was still feeling the recent pounding of his cock between her legs.
He leaned back in his chair, warm thoughts of Rebel entering his mind. She was in the RV with Justin, clueless to the fact that this meeting was even happening. He hadn’t wanted to tell her about it, considering she was the topic of conversation.
He needed to get back to her ASAP. He didn’t like being apart from her. He was happier when they were in the same space. Even just driving down the road with her following him in the Mustang had given him a sick stomach.
He met Adam’s gaze and grinned. Adam gave him a chin lift, helped Rachel to her own seat and sat down too.
“Josie, come and sit here next to me,” Phoebe said. “The meeting is going to start for real now, honey.”
Josie walked over, sat down and smiled at Trevor. He smiled back. She was a damn cute kid.
“I’m really happy we’re having this meeting,” Rachel said. “Thank you for putting this together, Christian. This is an important topic.”
“I’m confused,” Phoebe said. “I thought the whole reason why they came here was to find other survivors. I thought Rebel and Justin were coming here to move in with us. Why wouldn’t they want to stay? It doesn’t make sense for them to meet us and then leave.”
Sebastian snorted. “I didn’t want to stay at first.”
Phoebe muttered something under her breath Trevor couldn’t hear, but Sebastian obviously could, because his cheeks flushed red.
Sebastian shook his head. “Not everyone wants to live together; some people like to live by themselves. Also, maybe they don’t want to live here. Maybe they like it on the coast better.”
Christian clicked to the next slide. “That brings me to the first topic. Why would they want to stay? You can see that I put together a list of reasons I could think of off the top of my head.”
“I agree that the number one reason would be to live with other survivors,” Phoebe said.
“I think the number one reason would be for Rebel to stay with Trevor.” Rachel winked at Trevor.
He grinned.
“Well
, and the other reason,” Christian said, “while Justin is recovering, is that Rebel feels secure with the rest of us caring for Justin, so she’s on board staying here for right now. But when Justin wakes up and is well again and the two of them can talk and plan again, I don’t know if they’ll choose to stay or not, and we have to convince them to stay. Agreed?”
This was Trevor’s number one fear. The issue he’d been playing over and over in his mind with no answer on how to fix since the moment he’d stepped in that RV and driven onto the freeway. “They’re staying,” Trevor snapped.
“Are you sure?” Phoebe asked. “Has Rebel told you they’re both staying?”
“I don’t know about Justin, but Rebel is staying. With me.”
“Did she tell you that, or did you tell her that?” Adam asked.
“I want Rebel to stay,” Josie pouted.
“We all do, honey,” Rachel said, and gave Trevor a sharp look. “We all do, and we’re working on talking her into staying with us.”
“Well?” Adam asked again. “Did she say the words, ‘Trevor I’m staying here on the farm with you and your friends’? Or is that just an ultimatum that you’re stating?”
“No,” Trevor admitted. “But I told her I want a permanent relationship with her and I want her in my bed and that I want her to stay.”
“What did she say when you told her that?”
Trevor exhaled. “She basically said she’s thinking about it.”
Rachel leaned forward. “Did she say why she’d have to think about it? What are her reasons for not wanting to stay?”
“Well, first of all, she’s living on a seaside cliff on 17-Mile Drive in Carmel, where the weather is gorgeous and the Pacific Ocean is right there, and we’re living on this farm that’s hot as hell in the middle of nowhere.”
“It is pretty hot here,” Sebastian admitted. “San Diego was a thousand times better.”
“Right?” Rachel sighed. “You can’t fault her for that. We all feel the same. What else did she say?”
Kill For You Page 10
