“She says she has to wait and ask Justin how he feels when he wakes up.”
Adam nodded. “That makes sense.”
“What else?” Phoebe asked. “There’s got to be more.”
Trevor pursed his lips. “She keeps referring to our relationship as temporary. Like it’s a quick f—” He glanced at Josie’s wide eyes and amended his words. “Like we’re a fling or an affair and this will end. And she keeps sayin’ I’ll tire of her soon. That I don’t know her well enough yet to be talking about forever.”
“Forever? You were talking to her about your future? Oh wow,” Rachel breathed. “That’s so romantic, Trevor. Did you ask her to marry you?”
“What? No. I just told her I want her in my bed permanently.”
“Well, that’s not as romantic, but still sexy,” Phoebe said.
Sebastian frowned. “Trevor, don’t fuck this up.”
Trevor slammed a fist on the table. “I’m not fucking this up.”
Josie whimpered.
“You guys!” Phoebe shouted. “Language. We have a child here.”
“Sorry,” Trevor mumbled.
“Okay, let’s get back to the PowerPoint,” Christian said.
“When did you even have time to make this PowerPoint?” Trevor asked.
Christian shrugged. “When I was sitting in the RV with Justin. I just opened the laptop in there and worked on it. The topic was on my mind.” He clicked to the next slide. “As you can see, the next topic is how do we convince Justin to stay, once he’s recovered. What will be the reasons that will convince him?”
Adam leaned back in his chair. “Your slide has good tips on how to talk Justin into staying. But personally, I don’t think Justin is going to be the one to convince. I think he’ll go wherever Rebel goes. As long as he feels he’s brought her somewhere safe, he’s good to go.”
“I’m so confused,” said Phoebe. “Is Justin Rebel’s boyfriend, or is Trevor Rebel’s boyfriend?”
“I am,” Trevor snapped. “I’m Rebel’s boyfriend. Justin is her friend.”
Sebastian crooked an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I mean, she seems really close to him, they seem to care about each other, and they’ve been living together since the end, but they aren’t together? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah, so what? Sounds like you’re also describing you and Phoebe and you aren’t together either, right?”
Phoebe gaped.
Sebastian growled and clenched his fists.
“Come on, break this up,” Adam interrupted. “Justin can’t be Rebel’s boyfriend because he’s gay. Okay? He’s gay.”
Everyone looked surprised.
“Didn’t see that one coming,” Rachel muttered.
Trevor tensed for a minute, worried he might have to fend off a homophobic comment or two, but no one said anything. Then he remembered why these were his friends. They weren’t assholes like the Aryan Brotherhood. These were normal people without prejudice or racism running in their veins. None of them felt the need to constantly put down others to make themselves feel better. Their openness and their honorable behavior was the main reason why he liked these people. The reason he stayed with them despite the fact that they were living on a farm in the middle of nowhere.
They represented the best in people, and fuck, he loved being around it so much. A breath of fresh air.
“If Rebel leaves I’m leaving with her,” he announced.
Rachel did a head desk and groaned. “Another reason why we have to convince her to stay.”
Christian clicked to another slide. “I have some ideas on how we can talk her into staying.”
Sebastian ignored the screen. “This is all on Trevor,” he said.
“Not just him,” Rachel said. “The rest of us have to be on our best behavior, too.”
Christian pointed at the slide. “Number one, we have to show her how she can fit in. Then, number two, show her and Justin where they could live and what they could do. Number three, how they can contribute.”
“She’s living with me.”
“Okay, how about Justin lives in the RV,” Christian said.
Phoebe pressed her lips together. “If he’s okay with that. I mean, he’d be exchanging a mansion on the beach for an RV in the Valley.”
Everyone was quiet for a moment.
“And we need to tell her everything. Everything.” Rachel said with deep meaning in her voice.
His jaw clenched. “Not yet.” He glanced at Adam for support, but he was staring at his woman.
“What are you two talking about?” Phoebe asked.
Trevor growled. He knew exactly what Rachel was talking about and he wasn’t telling Rebel about the threesome with Rachel. No fucking way. He had his hands full keeping his criminal past on the down low. His past relationships with other women and couples needed to stay gone, too.
“That’s up to Trevor,” Christian said. “I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not saying a word.”
“About what?” Phoebe pressed.
Rachel glanced over at Phoebe and shook her head. “Sorry, but I can’t say anything. I guess it’s not my story to tell.”
“But it is. It’s our story, too,” Adam broke in. He met Trevor’s gaze. “But we’ll take Trevor’s lead on this. It will get told when he’s ready.”
He lifted his chin. “And I’m not ready,” Trevor said. “So, thanks.”
“Shoot,” Phoebe whispered. “I hate being out of the loop. I hate secrets.”
“I hate secrets, too!” Josie announced.
Rachel crooked an eyebrow. “I doubt it’ll remain secret for long.”
“Trevor,” Rachel called.
He turned. The meeting had ended and he was trying to get back to the RV. “Yeah?”
“I need to talk to you,” she whispered. Rachel looked to make sure no one else was watching and pulled him into the small downstairs office they used for Adam’s daily radio broadcasts. She nodded for him to enter and pulled the door closed behind them.
Rachel stood straight, the door against her back, and looked him in the eye. “Trevor,” she said with a firm tone. “I’m just warning you, at some point I won’t be able to lie to Rebel anymore about our threesome. I can’t do this forever.”
“You’re not lying to her.”
“Yes, I am. Or at the very least it’s a lie of omission, and it’s wrong. It bugs me. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If I came into this group and I was hooking up with Adam and becoming friendly with Rebel, you can bet I’d want the inside information that she’d been having a threesome with Adam and you. That’s important. If she didn’t tell me, I’d think she was a bitch and that we must not have been friends at all for her to keep that secret from me. I’d be sure she was hiding something.”
He exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck. He took a few steps away and turned back toward her. “What if she hates threesomes and thinks it’s her hard line, that thing she can’t get past? What if I tell her and she decides that’s her number one reason for getting the hell outta here the moment Justin is better?”
Rachel sucked in a breath. Her lips pursed.
“I can’t take that chance, Rachel. I can’t.”
She looked at him with pity, which he fucking hated. “I know there’s always that chance, Trevor. I’ve thought of that, too. I worry about it. Not everyone is down with that kind of lifestyle. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not ashamed of what we did. Not for one second. It was all wonderful, and I’m so grateful that you gave that to me, and to Adam. I’ll always remember it. But now we’re all moving on and I want you to be happy. I want Rebel to be happy. You want your own woman, and I want that for you, too.”
A wave of tenderness hit him in the chest. He smiled at her, grabbed her hand and pulled her in. He bent down and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I swear you’ve got to be the most kind-hearted person I’ve ever met in my life. Always thinkin’ things through carefully, trying to do the right thin
g.”
He could feel her body move as she chuckled.
“But listen, if I tell her, I’ll lose her.”
Rachel pulled out of his embrace in order to step back and meet his gaze. “But, Trevor, come on, in order for you and her to have hit it off so well, I’ve gotta think she’s not exactly prudish, right? We’ve already established that despite the fact that she used to be the poster girl for sweet and innocent, she’s…not.”
He grinned. “No, she’s not.” She was his fantasy come to life. “She’s smokin’ hot and knows what she wants.”
“See, there’s got to be a reason why you two hit it off so well. Maybe she’d take this whole threesome thing, which is in the past anyway, and not be as upset about it as you think.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m not taking that chance.”
Rachel exhaled. “Leading with the truth is always best, Trevor.”
Her words hit like stones.
She had no idea.
Chapter Nine
Fifteen minutes later Trevor was back in the RV, happy to have Rebel in his arms again. He was still concerned he couldn’t keep her, uncertain of their future together, but still damn, damn happy that she was there. He was a lucky bastard to have found her.
“It’s nice here,” Rebel said as she stared out the RV window, her voice a sound he could listen to for the rest of his life. “The farm”—she waved a hand—“I have to admit, it seems nicer than I expected.”
Trevor tightened his arm around her waist and took a sip of coffee out of his black mug with the orange San Francisco Giants logo on the front. He could get used to this—starting the day with coffee and Rebel. She looked right, her lithe form in his arms. Everything in his life suddenly made sense, the pieces clicking together like a puzzle.
His woman wore an outfit she’d pulled out of the duffle bag he’d asked Rachel to secret into his apartment yesterday. This had proven to be a smart move. Rebel had been both surprised and happy to find her things ready to go when she’d woken up that morning. Her makeup and shampoos were already spread out, her clothes hanging in his closet. She’d squealed with delight and attacked him with her mouth and her hands, shoving him to the bed, sitting on top of him and fucking him like a wild woman.
He grinned. He could get used to that, too, waking up to Rebel fucking him in his bed.
Afterward she’d cheekily warned him yet again that she was just visiting and eventually she’d have to repack when she left. He’d pinched and then spanked her ass, reminding her that was bullshit, she was his…and somehow they’d gotten into a heated debate about the hotness of spanking. Finally, he’d smacked her on the ass again, and they’d gotten ready and left for the RV to check on Justin.
So here they were, back in the RV…caring for Justin and chatting in the tiny front kitchen. And strangely enough, despite the dark cloud of worry over a sick man in their midst, it was a terrific morning. All because Rebel was in his life. It was almost like with her at his side, nothing could bring him down.
Except losing her. He was starting to think losing her would destroy him. Which was scary as fuck. He’d never needed a woman before. Not even his mom.
“Yeah, the farm’s not that bad once you get used to it,” he answered. “I’ll give you the full tour today.” He tipped his chin and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“Okay, I’d like that.”
He let go of her to reach over and pour himself another cup of coffee.
“I’ve never seen anyone drink as much coffee as you do, and that’s saying a lot considering my past job was pretty damn stressful. No one I worked with drank as much coffee as you do.”
He doctored his coffee with fake sweetener and some flavored, powdered creamer and took a sip. “Yeah, it’s important.”
“What are you going to do when it’s all gone?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, dread filling his stomach. “I don’t fucking know.”
“Maybe you should start cutting it with decaf now so you don’t go ballistic later.”
“That’s exactly what I told Adam I needed to do.”
“Well then, you should do it. I can help you.”
“You’re worried about me?”
“Well, duh.”
He gazed into hazel eyes, sparkling with caring and trust. His chest tightened.
Last night he hadn’t told her about what he’d really done for a living; hadn’t said a damn thing about his life as a drug runner and eventual rise to the head of his father’s criminal organization. He’d lived with evil, fucked up men—the Aryan Brotherhood, the worst prison gang in the country. The lowest of the low. They had a network of gangs on the streets and on the inside, so whether you were doing time or living free, you were always under the influence. He’d done some bad illegal shit right along with the best of them. Said things to people, treated people in a way he could never take back.
He’d had his own personal rules within the organization of not abusing women. He’d tried to make his progressive rules palatable to the local Brotherhood by framing them as sign of the times, a way to make them stronger going forward. Although really, he just couldn’t stomach raping or abusing women. Half the men felt like he did and the others, they sided against him.
But he’d been living the high life then, thinking he was at the top of his game, that he was the shit and no one could fuck with him. Between the balance of his own rules and the Brotherhood’s rules, somehow it worked.
Then his sister had been raped by his own men and it all changed.
His outlook on his whole life, his father, the “friends” he’d lived and worked with…everything had done a 360 and he’d suddenly seen the truth. Like a cult member being deprogrammed, or a German forcibly shown the concentration camp gas chambers after World War Two, realizing that all those years following the Führer had been for shit and in fact had been nothing but pure evil.
Now he wanted nothing more than to live a life making amends for the past.
Everything he’d told Rebel about how he felt had been the truth. Those were his feelings. The past was the past. The Trevor who’d lived with stacks of money on the coffee table, guns on him at all times, ordering the death of rivals—that man no longer existed.
That crap was done with.
His goal was to give the both of them a fresh start, a life judged on who they were now, not who they used to be. And there was no way in hell he could admit to her that he was an ex-con who had been imprisoned for murder. A drug lord who used to distribute drugs in America for Mexican cartels.
She would leave his ass in a hot second. Rebel Case would never stay with a man like that. He’d never been with a woman like her, a woman with so much class. Smart and loyal. Never would he do anything to jeopardize this budding relationship.
She was his. He had to convince her to stay.
“I want you living here with me,” he told her. “When Justin recovers he can take the RV or a room in the main house, his choice. But you’re in here, with me, your ass in my bed.”
“My ass in your bed?”
“This ass,” he clarified, grabbing her backside and squeezing tight.
“Oh, that one,” she gasped. “Well…yeah, as long as I’m here I’ll keep this ass in your bed. No problem, honey.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why do you keep putting an end date on your time here?”
She pursed her lips. “You know I love spending time with you. I’m just not sure how long Justin and I are staying. He’s still…” She gestured to the room down the tiny hall. The back bedroom they’d just left. Justin had been lucid for a while, and Trevor had made a point to step out, making up some reason to be gone when in reality he was at the main house having a “staff meeting,” and when he came back Justin was conveniently asleep again. How long he was going to be able to keep up that disappearing act before the gig was up and Justin ratted him out, he didn’t know. Which fucking sucked. If it weren’t for Justin, no one would know. Ther
e would be no need to tell anyone, his secret would be safe and he could move on with his fresh start without looking back.
“Why?” he asked. “Why do you feel you need to leave?” He knew, but maybe if he asked often enough he’d get a different answer.
She turned in his arms and faced him, those wide hazel eyes staring up at him. She was so fucking cute and sexy. It killed him. Brought him to his knees.
“Well, first, do you guys even have room for two more people here? There’s actually quite a few of you. Seems like there are no vacancies.”
“Yeah, we’ve got room for two more. Easily. Like I said, you can stay with me and we can sure as hell find somewhere for Justin to stay that he likes. That’s what all of us assumed, that you two would come down and visit and hopefully you’d move in. We figured if it turned out there was a large group of you, then maybe some of you could move into neighboring farms. That way we’d all be close. But you, you are staying with me.”
She shook her head. “That’s sweet of you to say. But really, that’s just the honeymoon phase talking. Yes, the sex between us is off the charts. You know I want it, too, but at some point that will flare out, we’ll start fighting over nothing and you’ll…you’ll…” She sighed.
He pulled her in tighter. “Rebel, you’re mine.”
“I know you think you mean that.”
“I know I mean that.”
“Honey—”
“Why do you keep thinking I don’t mean what I say?”
She crooked an eyebrow. “Men say a lot when their cock is wet.”
He chuckled. Dirty Rebel would never get old. “Baby, I’m not like other men. You can’t compare me to other men.”
“I know, this situation is different. There aren’t that many women left. So maybe you think this is more than it is because I’m the only available woman for you right now. But I’m certain you’ll meet more survivors and there will be other women…and when you meet someone you really like you’ll be free to pair up with that person, no strings attached to anyone else.”
“Is that what you want?” he growled. “To be free to hook up with someone else?”
Kill For You Page 11
