“Look, it gives Christian something to do. He really doesn’t mind. In fact, it was his idea. I know him, he’d say something if it bothered him.”
Rebel exhaled. “Alright.”
“You’re still with Justin during the day, taking care of him. And tomorrow your cousin can hang out with you in the RV too. By the way, how cool that your cousin survived the apocalypse. I mean, what were the chances of that happening?”
One hour later, Rebel still couldn’t get those words out of her mind. It really was crazy-sauce that Krissy survived. She stood next to her cousin in the doorway of the RV. She’d brought the three women over to introduce them to Justin, who luckily had been awake at the time and reasonably lucid. Kati and Tiana were still in there, chatting with him, but he wasn’t able to talk much in between his coughing fits and scary gasps for breath. Poor guy.
She’d stepped outside for a moment, and Krissy came with her. Trevor and Adam were talking outside too, far enough away that she couldn’t hear their conversation—and they couldn’t hear hers.
“It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it, that two cousins survived the apocalypse?” Rebel said.
Krissy nodded absently, but her eyes were on Trevor as he talked to Adam. She shook her head and met Rebel’s gaze. “So,” she said, changing the subject. “That’s your boyfriend? The tattooed bad boy? Not the guy you were living with for the last couple months who is super hot, not the clean-cut biologist or the guy who looks like the handsomest movie star to step out of India, no, you go for the guy who looks like a convict?”
Rebel wagged a finger at her. “Hey, no comments required from the peanut gallery.”
“Your mom would’ve freaked.”
Rebel hissed out a breath. It was true, Mom would’ve freaked. She’d been conservative to the core. The only way Rebel had been able to get started in that dangerous, morally corrupt acting business as a child was because her mom had been there every step of the way hovering like a hawk.
“Hey, it’s true. Your whole family would’ve shit a brick. Look at him, Rebel, yeah he’s hot, but get a load of those tats. Those aren’t your normal-guy-playing-at-looking-tough kinda tats, those tats are the real deal, the kind guys get in prison.”
“What?” Rebel gasped. “He’s not like that. Can’t a guy like cars and motorcycles, have tats and not be a criminal or an asshole?”
“You know that’s a fantasy, right?” Krissy said. “Those kinds of guys don’t exist. If they look bad, then they are bad. And then you stay with a man like that if you’re bad too, so in essence, his racist, sexist behavior, his cheating, his constant law-breaking…won’t really bug you enough to make you leave because none of it is your hard line. I don’t really see you as the type of woman who’d be with a man you had to wait for, while you know, he did time in prison. You’re not the old lady type, Rebel.”
“What do you mean? What’s an old lady?”
“You’re really as innocent as you look, aren’t you? Rebel, he has a swastika tattoo on his neck. On. His. Neck. When you have shit like that right there on your neck, you don’t have a normal job. He’s not even trying to hide it by putting it somewhere where clothes will cover it up. Is he a Nazi or something?”
Rebel sucked in a breath. “Hell, no. How can you think that?”
“I don’t know… Swastika?”
“He’s not like that. I’ve spent every minute with him these last few days. I know everyone he knows and I watch how he treats me and everyone else. I’ve seen nothing, not one thing, to hint that he’s some kinda racist asshole.”
“What did he say when you asked him about it?”
Rebel pressed her lips together. “He said he regretted it every day of his life.”
“Yeah, well, he better because it’s not like he’s got a damn kitten on his neck.”
“Leave me alone, I know what I’m doing,” Rebel gritted.
Krissy groaned. “Just be careful, okay? I’m worried you’re biting off more than you can chew. Literally.”
“Cut it out,” Rebel said. “He was not in prison. He’s not a Nazi. You always do this. The world has ended and you still have to find ways to poke holes in me? Can’t you just be happy for me?”
“This is me looking out for you. I’m just telling you the truth, the unvarnished truth, because someone has to, and if your family won’t, then who will? I don’t get good vibes from that guy. I’m worried that you’ll get hurt.”
“Trevor wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Maybe not physically…”
Rebel exhaled loudly. “He’s a good guy.”
“So you think you’ve found the holy grail, a bad boy with a heart of gold? Rebel, I know you. This would normally be your hard line. What happened?”
“Maybe I have found the holy grail. I know it sounds crazy, how can that be true? But really, he’s been nothing but nice. He’s respectful to everyone here. The other men and women here respect him. Look, it’s not permanent anyway, he and I don’t have anything serious going on. He wants to stay with me, but I’m only here until Justin gets better, then Justin and I are leaving to go back to Carmel. We’re just here visiting. Come on, since when have I ever stayed with a guy long enough to let him hurt me?”
“Okay, you have a point. I don’t know though, I see the way you look—”
“Rebel?”
Her breath caught in her throat. She turned her head. Trevor was standing right in front of her and Krissy, at the bottom of the steps leading to the RV. Adam was gone. Had he heard what she’d said? She examined his face. By the look of that hard jaw and those flashing, darkened eyes, she guessed he had. Dammit.
“Can I talk to you? Alone.”
She swallowed.
“Good luck,” Krissy whispered as she went down the steps past Trevor.
Rebel waited for Krissy to disappear around the corner of the RV. She stepped down so she could be close to Trevor. His blue eyes were two dark pools of ink. His face a mask of frustration.
She felt like crap.
“Look,” she said. “I’m sorry about what you overheard—”
“I know you think you’re leaving, but you’re not. Or, if you are going, then I’m coming with you. We’re a package deal.”
Oh god. Krissy’s words were ringing in her ears. Strengthening her earlier resolve to keep this shallow and simple. For her own good. For his good too. She needed to focus on helping Justin to recover, reuniting with her cousin, and taking care of her baby. She was pregnant and soon she’d be showing and Trevor would be horrified that she was pregnant with some rapist’s kid and this would all be over. But even if she wasn’t pregnant, it would all be over in a matter of months, if not weeks. One day he would see this was the right decision and he would thank her for her foresight, keeping things light between them. She took a deep breath and said what needed to be said. “I am, Trevor. I can’t stay. And you can’t come with me.”
“Why not? All of the reasons you’ve given me are shit. Give me a reason that’s good, like you don’t care about me and the sex is shit, and I’ll believe that.”
She stood quietly, not knowing what to say.
“Yeah. Because you know you do care and the sex is fantastic. Why the fuck would you leave and not want me with you? It doesn’t make sense.”
“There are things you don’t know.”
“How about you tell me and then I’ll know.”
She shook her head. “Trevor, don’t do this. Don’t ruin the time we have together.”
He pulled her close. “Listen, I’m not like the suits or soft boys you used to fuck. The guys who were out to stick their dick in Rebel Case, the movie star, and then run away when it got too much. I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not fucking you just because the sex is fantastic, because it is, I’m fucking you because you’re my woman, the only woman I want to fuck for the rest of my life. Do you hear me?”
“No, don’t say that,” she whispered, scared out of her mind at the seriousness of his t
one.
“Do you have plans on fucking someone else?”
“No.” Because she didn’t. She really didn’t. She’d assumed she’d have to live her life out hoping for crumbs from this man. Hoping he’d occasionally visit her and be nice to her child, maybe treat her baby like a distant uncle and they’d be able to hook up occasionally in between his other hookups. But she’d accepted the possibility that he’d most likely find someone else to settle with. Someone without a pesky kid or needy emotions. But for her, he’d be the only one. Trevor was it for her. She’d never move on. He’d ruined her for anyone else.
The fucker.
“I don’t either. You’re it for me, Rebel. You need to get that into your hard head and get with the program and stop pushing me away.”
“Rebel!” Kati yelled from the doorway to the RV. “Justin’s asking for you.”
“Just a sec, I’ll be right there.”
Trevor stared at her. She stared back.
“You’re mine,” he said.
She threw her hands up. “How can you be so sure about this? You barely know me! What if you’re wrong about this? About us?”
Trevor stared hard at Rebel, thinking deep about her question, because…it was a good question. How did he know? How was this hookup different than any woman before? This wasn’t even a hookup anymore. If he was truthful with himself, the moment he’d laid his hands on her in that parking lot in Casa de Fruta, minutes after meeting her…he’d known she was the one. He’d never felt anything so instant, so volatile, for a woman before. It had been instantaneous, the need to mark her like he was a goddamn werewolf or something. Mark this woman with his scent, so no other man could have her. He’d turned into a caveman, getting his fingers in her cunt and marking her as his.
At first he’d thought it had been a reaction to the fact that there weren’t that many women left and he’d wanted one for himself and there she was. Also, she was goddamn Rebel Case the famous movie star, the woman he’d always dreamed of, right there in his arms. But now, days into knowing her, learning her ways, her body, her likes and her dislikes, the way she thought, the way she treated other people…
Why did he want Rebel permanently and not Rachel? Why did he want her and not any of the women he’d fucked before? Why did the three new women who’d shown up that day not even register on his radar?
A wave of bedrock emotion hit him hard. A feeling so deep it was scary to touch. He’d never cared for a woman who wasn’t a family member the way he cared for this woman. And it was fucking scary because finally, when he wanted a woman for himself, no more sharing, and he thought yeah, she’s the one—he couldn’t convince her to stay.
“I’ve never felt so certain about anything else in my life,” he told her.
Her eyes widened.
In the past, before he’d gone to prison, before the end of the world, women had been easy. He could go to the bar his club went to and he’d have a woman sucking his dick before the night was over. He enjoyed threesomes with two women some nights. One-night stands with one chick, the next night someone else. It was easy. Fun. Towards the end he was getting tired of the hookups—even that seemed too difficult, too much work—so he’d started up with married couples, becoming the third in the relationship. That worked fine, no entanglements. All the fun, none of the work. He could fuck and walk away and go back to his own bed that night. Perfect.
But for once, he’d met a woman he wanted to open up to. A woman he liked just having by his side. Waking up to in his bed in the morning. He felt in his heart that they were similar. Totally fuckin’ weird considering she’d been a famous movie star and singer and he was…a convict. A man without honor. A man who’d never been in an actual relationship with a woman before, a man who’d broken the law countless times, who’d belonged to one of the worst gangs in the country. He’d lived and worked with men who were no better than beasts, he could see that now, and he’d been one of them. Selling drugs, smuggling drugs, and turf wars. Killing competitors. Constantly figuring how to foil the county sheriffs and the DEA.
But all that was in the past. It was over now. And all he wanted to do was make Rebel happy. To keep her by his side and use all those skills from his past to be the mean motherfucker who kept other assholes away from her and kept her safe.
He knew she was right for him, but he’d never thought why, just went with his gut reaction.
Rebel blew out a breath, stepped up onto her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Honey, I think you need to think about this more. Okay? I’ve got to go check on Justin. We’ll have to talk about this later.”
He nodded, stunned at the realization that was forming in his mind.
He loved this woman.
And somehow, he had to make her see that she loved him too.
Chapter Thirteen
“You know, this whole apocalypse could’ve been worse,” Rachel said as she weeded the tomatoes.
“How could it possibly have been worse?” Rebel questioned. She sat up and wiped sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. “All of the people any of us ever knew and loved are dead and buried. Our civilization is gone. How could it be worse?”
“This could’ve been a zombie apocalypse.”
Rebel snorted in response. Okay, she had a point.
“Oh hell, no,” Phoebe replied, stabbing her trowel into the soil. “Don’t start that again.” Phoebe’s hair was pulled back into a perfectly sleek ponytail, she wore tiny shorts and a tank top, looking terrific as usual.
Josie had left to join Christian, who was now in the barn. Krissy, Kati and Tiana had gone with her to explore and meet the livestock. Sebastian was taking another shift with Justin in the RV. And Adam and Trevor were out doing a perimeter check.
So that left Rebel gardening with Rachel and Phoebe in the early afternoon. They were in a large greenhouse that, the women explained, had been built last month by Trevor, Adam and Sebastian because of the possibility of future radioactivity from the nuclear power plants. This way they might be able to protect their food from acid rain. It was a smart idea.
Phoebe had explained that they usually gardened first thing in the morning because it was too hot to stay outside. Normally, by this time in the afternoon it was apparently already one hundred degrees and there was no way they could be out there. Today, however, they were able to switch the schedule because the weather was cooperating, and it was breezy and only 89 degrees with clouds in the sky.
Eighty-nine degrees. Rebel was still hot as hell, but the other two were chatting and laughing like it was a glorious spring day. Rachel pointed out that in the Valley eighty-nine degrees was “sweater weather.”
“It’s true,” Rachel continued with her zombie apocalypse logic, “what if we’d had to put up with all those dead bodies reanimating, coming back to life and tearing us apart for food? We’d all be scared out of our minds, living in a fortified city, instead of here, in comfort, on this farm.”
“Or this could have been like War of the Worlds and we’re taken over by aliens,” Rebel threw in. “That would be worse than zombies. What if they’re not only trying to kill all of us, but they’re terraforming the planet to fit their alien biology?”
“Terraforming?” Phoebe asked. “What the hell is terraforming? Okay, you two need to stop it, you’re scaring me.”
“What if the aliens had given us all a virus that turned us into zombies? They were killing us by having us turn on each other,” Rachel returned.
“Oh, then as the last survivors we’d all be hiding on the second story and above on buildings when we went out because—”
“Zombies can’t climb stairs,” they both said at the same time, laughing at their inside joke.
“Oh god, not you too,” Phoebe muttered. “One nerd was enough, now I’ve got the both of you to contend with.”
“Well, I’m just saying it really could have been worse,” Rachel said. “At least in our version of the apocalypse, the dead people are havin
g the decency to stay dead. The virus ran its course, and now everyone who is left alive is immune. So all that’s left is for us to rebuild, and at least we can do that in peace.”
“I don’t know,” Rebel disagreed. “I think it’s pretty bad living in an empty world. It can drive a person crazy,” she said, thinking of her own struggles to remain sane that first month. “It’s an enormous thing, knowing at least billions of people suddenly died around the planet and you were one of the lucky ones to have made it out alive. And they’re all out there, decomposing.”
“I hate that we can’t bury them, give them the respect they deserve,” Rachel muttered.
“We can’t bury all those people. It’s not possible.” Phoebe replied.
“I know, I know,” Rachel responded. “But I can wish, can’t I?”
“Back in Carmel I either stayed inside or only walked the perimeter of the property or along the beach and the paths that Justin and I had already long ago cleared. The bodies are everywhere. It gives me the freaks. I only go into town when I absolutely have to, and if I do go, I go with Justin.”
The cities were nothing but mausoleums, piles of rotting bodies. Hopefully each year it would get better. The bodies would decompose to bones, the weather and the scavengers would do their work. One day she would walk into Carmel and find grass covering the piles of corpses and then afterwards, flowers. But right now, the cities, the whole state, was in summertime prime rotten infested black death. She couldn’t stand it.
“This is what’s good about living out here in the country,” Rachel said. “We got rid of the hidden bodies. Well, except I’m certain there are a lot in all those farmhouses dotted out there in the countryside. But all the bodies that were here, or anywhere on this farm, have been found and burned or buried. The area cleaned up. The road from here to Fresno is clear. And we’ve scouted the best places for supplies with the best routes. This farm is pretty self-sufficient with power and water. It’s not so bad here. There’s more of us to help clear places out. I’m really hoping that you and Justin, and also Krissy, Kati and Tiana, will choose to live here. If not exactly right here on the farm, then in farmhouses close by. We could all be together and help each other.”
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