Finding Forever (Living Again #4)

by L. L. Collins

  “It’s a… GIRL!” Dr. Blaise announced, suctioning out her mouth and holding her up for Lacey and Brant to see.

  Lacey gasped, tears instantly blurring her vision. She and Brant had a daughter. Dr. Blaise cut the cord and wiped her down, then handed her directly to Lacey.

  Lacey looked down at her newborn daughter, crying openly. Her dark hair was matted to her head and her eyes were squeezed shut, but she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She opened her mouth and screamed, letting the world know that she indeed had arrived.

  Dr. Blaise laughed. “Well, we know she has a good set of lungs.”

  Brant crouched next to her, his finger touching their daughter’s face. “She’s so beautiful,” he croaked out. Lacey looked up at her husband and saw the same tears mirrored on his face. They were parents. She leaned over so that he could get closer to their baby, and he leaned his forehead against hers as they both looked down at their newborn daughter. Tears dripped down their faces and fell onto her baby blanket.

  “We have a daughter,” Lacey said, reaching one hand out and touching Brant’s face. He looked up at her.

  “Lacey,” he said. “I thought I was happy the day I married you. This… it’s just…”

  “I know,” she said. “It’s something entirely different.”

  Dr. Blaise interrupted. “I need to let the nurses check her out and weigh her. You can have her right back, I promise.” Lacey noticed that she was also wiping tears from her eyes, and that floored her.

  Lacey hugged Aubrey as Brant followed the nurse to the little baby warmer in the room. “Thank you, Aubrey. Those words aren’t enough for what you did for us.”

  “Yes it is,” she answered. “Seeing you with that little girl just now, that’s all the thanks I need. She has no idea how lucky she is to have you and Brant for parents.”

  “And lucky to have you as her Aunt,” Lacey said. The baby cried, and she walked over to them.

  “This healthy little girl is seven pounds, three ounces and 20 inches long. She’s perfect, Mom and Dad. Nice job.” The nurse bundled her in a pink blanket and handed her back to Lacey.

  Lacey and Brant sat side by side on the small couch in the room, soaking in every feature of their new baby.

  “Who does she look like to you?” Lacey asked, watching Brant as he looked at her small fingers.

  “Didn’t you say that you wanted to use your mom’s name if it was a girl?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think that Kathryn is the reason we are where we are right now,” Brant said, putting his arm around her shoulders. “So, I think it’s only fitting that our daughter symbolize the very person that not only put you on this earth, but brought us together.”

  Lacey looked down at her daughter, nestled snugly in between her and Brant. She looked up at her sister and Jacob, who were watching them quietly. “Kathryn Aubrey Tucker,” she announced. “She’s always going to know that her grandma and her aunt were the reason she’s here.”

  Lacey sat in the rocking chair of the nursery, looking around like she had for so many months. But this time, Kathryn, or Katie as they had taken to calling her, was asleep on her shoulder. Max, Sophie, and Maggie lay on the floor on either side of Katie’s crib, where they always were. They were her protectors, and acted like it was their life mission to protect that baby.

  Lacey turned her face and kissed Katie’s smooth cheek. It had been three weeks since she had been born, and as exhausting as it was to have a newborn, she was happier than she had ever been in her life. Seeing Brant as a dad made her fall in love with him in a totally different way, and their relationship had never been stronger. He told her constantly how thankful he was that she had given him a child, and how proud he was of her.

  Lacey’s every three month checks at the doctor had shown that she was still cancer-free. The medication she took to try to keep it that way sometimes made her muscles ache, but she would gladly take that if it kept her healthy.

  “Doc?” She heard Brant calling her. He was just home from working, which meant that he was sweaty, dirty, and all cowboy, just the way she liked him. Lacey often wondered if he really was happy here at the ranch, but he continued to say that it was rewarding.

  She knew he would know where to find her once he didn’t see her in the living room or kitchen. She didn’t want to yell and wake up Katie. A sleeping baby was a happy baby. As she predicted, moments later he stood in the doorway. Also as predicted, he was wearing jeans that rode low on that sexy waist of his. He had removed his boots when he entered the house, and apparently his shirt, too. His taut muscles flexed as he gripped the door frame.

  “That’s so not fair,” she whined. “I’m holding our sleeping baby, and you walk in here like that, all GQ-like.”

  “Shower’s open,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. “And the good news is, she’s sleeping. Want me to help you lay her down?”

  Lacey stood carefully, making her way to the crib. As he loved to do, Brant took Katie from her and placed her on his chest. She loved to be there as much as he loved to hold her there. She thought that quite possibly Katie had Brant wrapped right around her little finger.

  After a moment, he kissed her head like he always did, then rested her gently into her crib. Rubbing her stomach to make sure she was settled, both Brant and Lacey stood, watching their daughter sleep.

  “I could stare at her all day,” Brant admitted, pulling Lacey to him. She rested her head on his bare chest, both of them still watching Katie sleep.

  “Me too. I pretty much do. How did we get so lucky?” Lacey asked.

  “It isn’t luck, Doc. We went our whole lives looking for what was missing, and this was it.”

  Lacey tipped her face back, and Brant kissed her softly, his touch full of promise and love. He was right. They had gone their whole lives waiting to find their forever, and here it was, right in front of them. They had everything they needed, right here in this room. Forever.

  Three Years Later

  “Katie, this is your little brother,” Lacey said, holding the newborn baby in her arms. Three year old Katie squealed, running up to her mom, her dark curls bouncing.

  “Me hold him, Mommy. Me hold.”

  Lacey settled back on the couch, Katie pressed up next to her with her arms out. She settled the newborn baby in her arms, trying but failing to keep the emotion from leaking from her eyes as she saw her two children together for the first time. She had been so nervous to bring him home that Katie might feel slighted or put out. But seeing the beaming smile on her face as she looked at him, her nerves dissipated.

  When Katie was one, Brant and Lacey had decided that they wanted to try to have another child. She had brought them so much happiness in her short life that they had to try again. At that point Jacob and Aubrey were married and were going to try to have a family of their own (and they did, little Jacob Jr, born one year ago), so having her as a surrogate again wasn’t going to work out. Sam had offered but Lacey wouldn’t let her, busy with two kids of her own, Kerri, now four and Carly, now three, plus her skyrocketing career.

  After a lengthy search for a surrogate made Lacey too nervous to give that sort of responsibility over to a stranger, she had been having lunch with Dena one day, telling her all about what was going on, when Dena dropped a bomb on her she didn’t expect.

  “I want to do it for you,” she had offered. “I talked to Steve about it after I knew that Sam wasn’t going to work out. I want to try. I’m only in my mid-thirties, and we’re done having our own children. Please, Lacey. Let me do this.”

  It was then that Lacey had realized, not for the first time, how many people they had in their lives that would do anything for them. So Dena had started the process to surrogate for them. The doctors had warned that with only two remaining eggs, the chances were slim. They knew that, but they had to try. They had an adoption agency all lined up if it didn’t go.

  Dena had two embryos implanted in her, and the
waiting game began. Once again, the day that the doctor confirmed that she was pregnant, Lacey bawled her eyes out. Dena’s pregnancy had been a little more complicated than Aubrey’s, ending her on bed rest at twenty weeks. Lacey had never been so scared the day she called her to tell her she was hospitalized with preterm labor. They had stopped it, but Dena’s life had stopped. Talk about guilt. Lacey had spent days and weeks apologizing to Dena, but all she had done was tell her, it was a few months out of her life for Lacey to have her child for the rest of hers.

  “Are you ready to meet your sister?” Brant walked in, carrying another little bundle wrapped in pink. Yes, both of Lacey and Brant’s embryos had survived this time, meaning they now had twins, one boy and one girl. They had been born healthy at thirty-six weeks, not having to stay in the hospital any extra than a regular full term baby. They had been small, both weighing in right under five pounds, but they were perfect.

  “Two babies?” Katie screeched. They had been careful not to tell her too much, just in case something happened during the pregnancy and delivery. They just told her she was going to be a big sister, so seeing two babies was a complete surprise. “A sister too?”

  “A sister too,” Brant said, sitting down on the other side of her, putting the baby next to her brother on Katie’s lap. Lacey and Brant’s eyes met over their three children, and unspoken emotion passed between them.

  “Our family,” he whispered, one hand supporting the baby and one ruffling Katie’s hair.

  “We’re parents of three kids,” Lacey whispered back, looking down at the babies, then to Katie’s smiling face. “It’s going to be insane. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

  After Katie had been born, Lacey chose to go back to work and Jane, Brant’s mother, had kept her during the day. It had turned out to be the best of both worlds. However, now that they had twins and Katie, Lacey was taking a leave of absence from Kindness Animal Hospital. She and Brant had agreed that it was more important right now for her to be at home with their children. She would return to work when the twins were a little older and Katie was in school.

  Brant had officially taken full control of Tucker Ranch two years ago. His dad was retired, though he was still around for help if needed. Thankfully, Brant loved it. The ranch was thriving and more profitable than ever. He had made some important additions to it, including barrel racing that attracted quite the crowd. He had stopped doing any modeling at all a year ago, by his own choice. He said that finally he felt more purpose out of running the ranch and being a husband and dad than he did a model, so it was time to hang it up for good.

  Now that Lacey was going to be home, she was going to help some with the bookkeeping and day to day running of the ranch. That is, when she wasn’t knee deep in diapers and bottles.

  “What their names?” Katie asked in her toddler way, reaching out to touch both of them.

  “Gentle,” Brant reminded her, taking her hand and showing her how to touch the babies.

  “Your brother’s name is Jonathan,” Brant explained.

  “Jonaten?” Katie looked wide-eyed at Brant for approval, her bright blue eyes serious. He nodded, making her smile.

  “And your sister’s name is Elizabeth,” Lacey offered.

  “Lizbet,” Katie repeated. Lacey loved the way she said their names, and figured there would be some nicknames given by their big sister. Jonathan Brantley Tucker, named after Brant’s grandfather, and Elizabeth Dena Tucker, named after Lacey and Aubrey’s grandmother and her surrogate Dena, were the completion to their family.

  Lacey’s dad had recently met someone and was engaged to be married. She hadn’t seen him that happy since before her mom got sick. Ironically enough, she was a nurse that worked with cancer patients. He had met her when he had finally decided to go to a Cancer Support Group to try to get his life back on track. He loved being a grandpa, and spent as much time with Katie as he could.

  “Me go play, Mommy,” Katie announced. Brant and Lacey moved the twins, watching as Katie ran to her toy box and started pulling things out.

  “What are you doing, baby girl?” Brant laughed, watching her.

  Katie picked up her favorite book, the one they read to her every night before bed, and brought it to the couch. “Me read to my babies,” she announced. She had every word memorized. She kneeled next to the couch, opening the book so they could ‘see’ it, and began reciting the pages. It was the cutest thing Lacey had ever seen, and with that, every worry she had about making Katie feel left out went right out the window.

  She was so glad she hadn’t listened to her former self when she said she never wanted to get married or have babies. After meeting Brant and the subsequent scare on her life, her whole life view had changed. She was, because of Brant, a better person. A better friend, wife, and mom.

  Warning:

  If you have NOT read the other books in the Living Again series, DO NOT read any further. Major spoilers ahead.

  If you choose to continue, you’ve been warned.

  Three Years Later

  “I’m so exhausted,” Sam groaned, flopping on the bed in yet another hotel room. She had just performed for a sold out show in New York City. It had been amazing to be able to show the girls the sights and sounds of New York, but a twenty hour day had left her flat out of energy.

  “Mommy!” Three year old Carly squealed, taking her mom lying down as an invitation to pounce on her.

  Sam laughed, rolling over and tickling Carly. Kerri decided to join in the fun, too, jumping on Sam’s back and tickling her.

  “Mayday! Mayday! Daddy, come help me!”

  Ellis smirked, watching the scene in front of him. They had been on the road for a few weeks, and it was almost time to go home. Sam refused to travel without both girls and Ellis, even though it was difficult to be on the road so much. Kerri and Carly took it like the pros they were.

  Kerri was the spitting image of her mother, right down to her voice. Even at four years old, she had the voice of an angel. Sam had even allowed her to come on stage and sing with her a few times, a song that she wrote when Kerri was born. Ellis would never forget that night, seeing his little baby girl on the stage with her mom, beaming like it was the best day of her life. He had no doubt that she would grow up to follow in her mom’s footsteps. She had stolen the hearts of America the day she sang with Sam.

  Little Carly, however, wanted nothing to do with singing in front of a crowd. She didn’t like attention brought to her, and would hide behind Ellis every time they were out somewhere and paparazzi would approach them. She was a sensitive soul. She also looked more like her daddy than Kerri did, which Ellis was very proud of. The day that Carlyn Samantha Warner had been born, Ellis had fallen in love for the third time. She was Daddy’s little girl, and had been from the moment she blinked open her eyes and looked at him like she knew him.

  Mason was off to college in Florida, wanting to go with his longtime girlfriend, Jillian. They had known each other since they were fourteen when Mason came to live with them, and had stayed closed though they lived a thousand miles apart. He was studying criminal justice and thinking about going to law school afterwards. Ellis was so proud of the young man he had become. They missed him quite a bit, but he made sure to spend as much time during the holidays at their beach house in Sunset Beach as he could.

  Carl had married a lovely lady named Sandy a few years ago, and they spent a lot of time traveling in the RV he had purchased. Ellis was so glad that Carl finally thought of his own happiness for once.

  Sean was still in prison, and would be for the foreseeable future. He didn’t want to think about what happened when and if Sean ever got out. He wasn’t sure he could stop himself from paying him a visit. Brian called them every once and a while to check up on them. Ellis and Sam knew that even after all of their reassuring, he still felt terrible for what happened.

  Gage had gotten married a few years before, and was still living in Louisiana. They had been invited to the we
dding, but Sam had been on tour. That was fine with Ellis, because as much as he was confident in their marriage, watching an old boyfriend of Sam’s get married wasn’t high on his priority list.

  Ellis walked over to the bed, where Sam and the girls had calmed down, both of them tucked under her arms. As he approached, she turned and their eyes met. Even after so many years, when he looked at her he sometimes had a hard time believing that she was his. He leaned over and kissed her, then each of the girls.

  “Scoot over,” he said, lying down next to her on the bed. She curled herself into him like she always did, and he smoothed her hair down her back. The girls sandwiched on either side of them.

  “I want another baby,” she announced, lifting her eyes to meet his. “I know that’s completely insane, given our life…”

  “Yes,” Ellis immediately agreed. He would have a hundred kids with her if she let him. He especially liked the trying part.

  “Really? You didn’t even think about that for two seconds.”

  “I think about it all the time, Sammi. You know how much I love you, and I love these girls more than life itself. Why wouldn’t I want a whole team of kids?”

  “Well, for starters, because this life we lead gets more difficult with each child we have,” Sam laughed.

  “We make it work,” Ellis said. “But, you could always scale back the traveling for a few years. Your fans would understand.”

  Sam was quiet. He knew that she had a hard time trying to decide what was best for her career or best for the family. That’s why she refused to tour without them, because going without the girls for weeks or sometimes months at a time was not a choice she was willing to make. However, Kerri would be old enough to start school soon, and neither of them wanted to have her do school on the road. She needed the opportunity to meet other kids and be ‘normal’ as much as possible.