Anguish

by Elizabeth Knox

“And that’s why you love me!” she sings as she leaves my condo.

  Isa is right. Salvatore is everything that a mafia woman wants and desires. But is he what I want and desire?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Aria

  Salvatore and I have been called to New York City to meet with the King and Queen of the Clans; Ion and Mariana Vasile. I’m not privy to attend any clan meetings because I am not the head of the Baptiste clan. That is my father’s right, and when he passes, it will be Marcel’s job. We’ve been here for a day, and oddly enough, he’s been taking me around to do some wedding errands, like to the floral shop and even a bakery. I asked him if we were going to have it flown into Seattle, and he just looked at me and shrugged. I should know better. It hasn’t been that long since I signed the contract to marry him, but I have learned quite a bit about him in the process, and everything I have learned...I like.

  A couple hours ago I started to get nauseous yet again. It’s becoming more and more difficult to hide. There are days where all I want to do is throw up, and I still haven’t been able to find a doctor. Whenever I call someone and they take my name, I get a call within the day saying that they’re unable to schedule me. I don’t even know how it’s possible, but I feel as if they’re finding out I’m associated with the mob, or maybe I’m blacklisted. Who the hell knows?

  I’m in the hotel room, sitting on the couch when my phone rings. “Hello?” I answer,

  “Miss. Funar, this is Doctor Asche. I’m calling to tell you that I am unable to conduct your procedure unless I have explicit instructions from your father that he has authorized it.” I had reached out to Mariana Vasile yesterday to see if she had a doctor in town that she could recommend. She gave me Dr. Asche’s contact information, and I reached out to him earlier this morning while Salvatore was in the shower.

  “This is asinine. There has to be something you can do!” I’m at a loss here. I can’t keep dealing with this problem any longer,” I yell into my phone, tears threatening to come out.

  “What problem?” I hear Sal’s voice boom from behind me, causing me to jump in my seat. I immediately hang up the phone and turn back to face him.

  I open my mouth, and the words just don’t come out, so I shut it and stare up at him. He’s giving me that look that tells me he’s disappointed, and I can see he’s worried. God, I hate doing this to him. “I was on the phone with a doctor up here…”

  “Alright. What’s the matter? Are you not feeling well?”

  “I...no. No, I’m not. I…”

  “Spit it out, Aria.” Sal grumbles out at me.

  “I’m pregnant. It’s...it’s from when Cheng had me, and I...I’ve been trying to get an abortion, but I keep walking into a dead end and everyone keeps telling me that I need my father’s permission since I’m unmarried, and I just need it to go away. I can’t...I can’t have this thing, Sal. Please. Help me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?” His question startles me, and I’m a bit shocked that he even asked it in the first place.

  “I thought that you’d just treat me the way that-“

  “Don’t you dare say your father. If you’re thinking it, don’t you dare say it,” he snaps. “I will never and would never treat you the way that baboon did, Aria. Don’t you see how precious you are to me?”

  I’m taken aback. Unsure on how to respond.

  “We’ll get you sorted with a doctor. I will never deny you the right to make decisions for your body, especially when they violated it. Just don’t think that I’d ever allow this when it’s my child in your stomach. We’re getting married in three weeks, the doctor will take my permission one way or another, and this will all be over with,” Salvatore says, grabbing my phone and redialing the number that I was just speaking to. He takes my phone over into the corner of the room, and all I hear are soft mumbles and see his face nodding. He approaches me and hands me the phone. “Your appointment is first thing in the morning.” Salvatore leans down and brushes his lips softly against my own. “Aria, you need to understand that I will do anything for you. Anything, mio dolce.”

  I smile against his lips, hearing him call me his sweet in Italian. It sounds decadent coming from those lips of his. “Thank you,” I murmur, running my thumb over his jaw.

  “No need to thank me. Now, let’s go eat some cake. We can get more wedding planning done while we’re here.” He pulls back from me and heads towards the door. Well, I guess we’re on our way out.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Aria

  It’s my wedding day.

  Wow. It feels so surreal to be thinking this right now, that today I will be marrying Salvatore Moretti. I giggle to myself, thinking it’s hysterical that the first time I’m meeting his family is at our wedding. We haven’t gone to Seattle yet because he’s been staying with me in L.A. and then we took our trip to New York a couple weeks back. He insisted we just stay, and that’s what we’ve been doing. The sly fox was having us knock out our wedding planning because he wanted us to get married in New York.

  He’s not the type to just tell me that, though. No, I had to figure it out for myself.

  A knock comes to my door, “Who is it?” I ask, turning my head back. The door creaks open, and in I see his head pop through. “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!” I snap, chastising him.

  He chuckles, raising his eyebrows. “Do you really think that we’re going to have any more bad shit happen to us?”

  “I’m the one with the terribly bad luck, not you,” I point out. Sal nods in agreement.

  “We need to talk about how today is going to play out.” I listen closely to what he says, “This isn’t going to be your average wedding, mio dolce. This is a Moretti wedding, which means that we’re going to do it the Moretti way. My grandfather will be marrying us in private, with the only witnesses being our parents. From that point on, we will have our reception and do that fru-fru stuff that you ladies like.”

  I knew better than to think our wedding would be your typical, average, run of the mill American wedding. We’re both from two notorious crime families.

  Salvatore closes his mouth and then opens it, closing it shut again. “What’s on your mind?” I ask him.

  “I need to tell you about something. Ion asked me for assistance if issues between the Russians and your uncle develop into something uncontrollable.” Assistance...Ion basically has asked my soon to be husband to kill my familia, if need be. “Your uncle….”

  “My uncle, what?” I press him, needing to know what he’s getting at.

  Salvatore sighs. “Your uncle was the one behind the assassination attempt on Mariana from a while back.”

  My eyes go wide at what he’s telling me. “What? Are you sure!”

  “Yes, I am sure. As are the Clans…”

  “Oh god. Clan leaders are supposed to be in attendance today...and my uncle is...oh my god. Sal. Sal!” I shoot up from my chair, not sure of what to do. I’ve never called him Sal ever, so I hope this shows him just how scattered I truly am right now.

  He places his hands on my shoulders and stares me right in the eyes. “Relax, my love. If anyone so much as tries to shoot at the other they will have something else to worry about. I’m a pretty good shot, baby. As are most of our reception guests. This is the wrong place, and the wrong damn day to fuck with me. No one is going to ruin our day. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” I respond back swiftly, keeping the anxiousness that just swarmed over me at bay.

  The next few hours fly by, and my nerves are still shot. I can’t help but think something awful is going to happen today, even if it probably won’t. Sal and I walked into a private room where both his parents and mine were sitting in chairs, his family’s priest married us in complete privacy, and to be honest, I preferred that. I’ve never been the type of girl who wants attention from the masses, and it seemed that getting married the Moretti way is the way for me.

  “Aria Moretti,” Salvatore hums
into my ear as we walk to where our reception is being held in one of the largest hotels in New York. He rented out the entire hotel, no one besides us would be here today. He said it was for security purposes, however, I think he was doing it to be a show off as well.

  A chill swarms over my body, and I roll my shoulders, still feeling at unease. “Before you ask, I’m fine. It’s just a little awkward with my father being here. He didn’t even say a word to me,” I murmur softly, turning my head to the right and looking up at my husband. “I never in my wildest dreams thought that he would treat me as if I don’t exist, like I am invisible. I hate this. I hate that I have to stay here and act like everything is okay when it isn’t.”

  Salvatore scoffs, causing me to glare at him. “What?” I grumble.

  “The answer is simple, mio dolce. You can leave. In fact, we can leave.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean what I’ve just said. We can leave. Neither of us have to stay here. It’s our wedding, I paid the damn bill and say we can do whatever we damn well please,”

  I move in front of Sal, facing him. I can’t stand the people who just keep staring at us like we’re prized ponies. “We can’t just leave. Everyone will think that we’re just going to jump each other's bones. Plus, it’s rude.”

  “You’re overwhelmed enough as it is. I’m giving you an out, all you have to do is take it.”

  I open my mouth and then close it shut. He’s right. He paid for the wedding, and we can do whatever we want. No one is making us abide by their rules, and for the first time in a very long time...I don’t have to follow rules set in stone by another person. “You’re right,” I respond, smiling. “We should get going,” and we do, hand in hand leaving the ballroom.

  I never thought I’d be the girl to dip out on her own wedding, but here we are.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Salvatore

  I wasn’t taking Aria back to our usual hotel room, instead, I was leading her to one with a bit more privacy. She may think that this room means more than what it does, but that’s not true. When she opens the door, she will find the exact same set up like we always have. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean that anything changes.

  “Two beds?” she questions, walking further in the room. She runs her fingertips over the bedding.

  I nod. “I never wanted you to feel obligated to share a bed with me even though we’re married. You and I both know what you endured, and if you still need time to heal from that...I understand,” I choose my words carefully, not wanting to upset her in any way. There’s no how to guide on any of this, and the only thing that matters to me is making sure that she’s safe and happy.

  I take my hand and glide it along her neck, moving her head against my hand, further into me. It’s moments like this that make me realize Aria is as close to happy as she can be. Moments like this that make me want to see the biggest smile spread across her beautiful face. So much pain and torment flashes through her eyes every day, so many agonizing memories and things that no one should have to endure, she has.

  Aria, my wife, is the strongest woman alive. Of that I am sure.

  All of a sudden she turns her back towards me, exposing the zipper of her glamorous wedding gown. I can’t say that I wasn’t shocked when I saw her decked out in a bedazzled Sophia Tolli gown. I know bedazzled is the wrong word for it, but she’s shining bright like a diamond, as she should. “Help me get out of this thing so I can change into something more comfortable,” she asks, and I do as she wants, placing my hand over the zipper and slowly pulling down. Her beautifully tanned skin is exposed to me, and I want nothing more than to run my hand along her skin and hold her close. But I never quite know when I’m being too selfish. It’s hard being a man like myself with such desire but having a woman who has been through so much... Deep inside me, I want to ravish her like the monster we both know I am...but she isn’t ready for that side of me. Honestly, I don’t know if she ever will be.

  Aria steps out of her gown and is wearing nothing but a white lace thong, and just as I think she’s about to head to the bathroom, she turns to face me. Her long, black as midnight hair flows besides her breasts, the lights in the room accenting the naturally blue tone in her long locks. Round breasts are pebbling before me eyes as she stares at me.

  What kind of game is this girl playing, I think to myself.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” she states, and I don’t believe she knows that at all. “You’re wondering what the hell I’m doing and why I didn’t go into the bathroom to slip into a fuzzy robe.” Okay, so maybe she does. Aria takes in a deep breath before staring me down. I can see the emotion scattering through her eyes, the fear, the pain, so much… “The thing is I don’t want to go into that bathroom and slip into that fuzzy robe. At least, not yet. I want to be able to make my choice, to feel how things can be with us, Sal. I want to know what it feels like to choose sex. To choose us. I’ve never had that choice, and I want to make it here and now. We’re married after all, so this seems very fitting to me.”

  I place my hands on her shoulders and try my hardest to keep my eyes trained on hers. Those tits she has are amazing, and when the time comes, I’ll be nibbling on those nipples. “Mio dolce, just because we’re married doesn’t mean we have to do this tonight. We have all the time in the world. There is no reason to rush anything that you’re not ready for.”

  “I’m not rushing anything. Over these last few weeks you’ve shown me exactly who you are, Sal. You’ve shown me that you’re my protector, someone who cherishes me, my friend, previously my fiancé, and now you’re my horrific monster of a husband.” She smiles on the last bit. “You’ve shown me your heart, Salvatore Moretti. This is all I’ve ever wanted. Ever since I was a little girl, I just wanted this.”

  “What’s this, mio dolce?”

  She bites her bottom lip and looks over to the side. “Love. I think,”

  I blink a couple of times before I realize… “You’ve never been in love before, have you?”

  “No,” she whispers, almost as if she’s ashamed. My heart can’t grow any bigger than it is right now. I’m the first man Aria has ever loved, and I’m making damn sure that I’ll be the last.

  She glances up at me, lip quivering, and I know that I can’t just keep standing here, staring at her like she’s the most precious thing on this Earth. I grab the back of her hair quickly, causing her to startle and plant my lips over hers. I feel her nervousness, even a bit of fear. It’s awkward at first but only for a few moments. She knows that I’d never do anything to harm her and skims her hands around my suit, pulling herself closer to me. She tries to rise up on her tippy toes, and I chuckle into our kiss, suckling her tongue into my mouth. She can’t help that she’s a shortie. It’s now that I realize she’s still in her heels. I guide my hand to her lower back, bringing her closer to me, making her step out of those death traps. She loses a few inches, giggling as I crane my neck down lower to meet her. “Silly girl,” I murmur against her lips, leading her to the bed.

  My cock throbs, wanting to be settled deep into her warm pussy. I bring my face away from hers, needing to see the desire in her eyes. I have to know that she wants this as badly as I do, if not more. She’ll get the sweet version of me tonight, but I can’t promise that she’ll get that version of me the next time. I’m Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: you never know which part of me will come out.

  Lust.

  Desire.

  Need.

  I see all of it, signaling me to continue. I take my hand and slide it over her upper thigh, smiling as she shivers and trace my thumb right over her outer lips. She’s soaking wet. Aria must have wanted this for a while, and I never knew. Fuck, I would’ve done this ages ago if I had known.

  Aria runs her hand over my cock, feeling the hardness through my trousers. I want to explode right here, not having any contact with a woman for months. I got tired of the one-night stands, needing something more than that. But I always kne
w what I wanted, and life became about obtaining that girl. Now here I stand with her hand on my cock and my thumb working her clit, watching her face twist and turn before my very eyes. Life is nothing but sweet.

  “Take my pants off,” I instruct her, watching her nod as her hands fumble with my trousers. She unbuttons and unzips me quickly, and I step out of my pants. Her hands go to my suit jacket, sliding it down my arms until it makes a thud on the floor and then she works at the buttons on my dress shirt. Smart girl, I think to myself.

  Silence surrounds us, the only noises come from our heavy breathing and hearts thumping away. I pop my cock free from my underwear and brush it against her pussy, feeling her wetness coat me. Fuck, I can’t wait any longer. Dammit. I stop, trying not to take her in the way I want to, a way that may make her judge me.

  “I’m clean, if that’s what you’re wondering about,” she hisses out at me, looking pissed as fuck.

  “Dammit, Aria,” I snap, pulling her up against me, I head straight against the wall and push her back into it, making sure my cock is nice and coated before I slam myself into her. “You’re too fucking tempting, you know that? Fucking mouth of yours drives me wild,” I hiss through clenched teeth, biting her nipple as I pound myself into her.

  Her pussy sloshes, wetness spilling out of her. I can’t wait to make this girl cum. She moans, tossing her head back as I twirl my tongue around her nipple and then head to the unattended one. “Oh god…”

  Her heat clenches around me, putting an iron clench on my cock, trying to suck me dry. I don’t want to cum yet, but dammit she’s tight. She’s the tightest woman I’ve ever been with. Fuck! I thrust, digging my nails into her shoulder until she’s screaming, her cum spilling out over my cock, between us both. Girl can fucking squirt! I bring my mouth up against her ear and bite down on her lobe feeling her earring against my teeth, and right as I cum, I tell her something she should never forget. “You’re mine, Aria Moretti. Always and Forever.”