The Girl Between Two Worlds

by Kristyn Maslog-Levis

  “All my life I’ve been trained and prepared for this moment. To have the chance to kill you and be rid of your clan. I have my orders. I know what needs to be done. But I’m having a hard time following my mother’s commands.”

  “It was your mother that night, wasn’t it? The one I saw flying back to your house wounded and bleeding,” I asked even if I already knew the answer. Somehow I knew he wanted to tell me everything even if we were on the opposite sides of the war.

  “Yes, that was her. She knows you have asked for the other clans’ help and she is doing the same. The leaders of the dark clans are preparing to attack.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because I want to let you know that I don’t want to do this. That I have fallen for you. But I can’t change what I am. When I transform, I don’t know if I can stop myself from hurting you, from killing those who are close to you.”

  I wanted to stop crying but the tears kept coming. “So you tell me you love me but you will still kill my family? How can that be love?”

  “Karina, I’m sorry. I am so sorry. This is who I am. I can’t change that,” he pleaded.

  My chest felt heavy, like my organs had been replaced with jagged rocks.

  “You can’t possibly understand what it’s like to grow up not feeling any love from the one person who is supposed to love me unconditionally. When I was with your mother, I felt her love for you every time Mother questioned her. I felt how protective she was of you. I never had that. I never knew love. Not until I met you.”

  “I don’t know how to help you,” I whispered to him, closing the gap between us. I reached for his hand and he closed his own around mine.

  “You can’t help me. No one can help me, Karina. This is all I’ve known. This is all I am.”

  “No, that’s not true.” I pressed my face to his hand. The black veins disappeared. His hands were warm, gentle on my face. “I saw you last night. You could have killed me but you didn’t. You stopped yourself.”

  “It took all my willpower to stop myself. I almost killed you,” he said, looking at my bandaged arm.

  “Jason, no …” I started to say but he cut me off.

  “Listen, Karina, there’s not much time. We are going to attack. I don’t know when but tell your family to be ready.”

  “We? Are you joining them? Are you coming to kill us, too?” How could he be the enemy? How could he still go with them?

  “My place is with them,” he looked down, unable to look me in the eyes.

  “That’s not true. It doesn’t have to be this way,” I said, putting my hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart.

  “No?” he said, pulling back. “Can you really tell me that your family, your clan leaders won’t kill me if I join you? Can you guarantee that they will not execute me? Will they let us be together?”

  I said nothing because there was truth in his words. He was a threat. He would always be a threat to the humans and to Engkantasia.

  “It’s your mother. It’s not you. She made you into this. It’s her fault,” I said. If it wasn’t for her, he could have turned out differently.

  I felt his body stiffen as he pulled away. “It’s not her fault,” he said evenly, containing his anger. I knew I hit a nerve. No matter how bad Mirasol was, she was still the only family he knew.

  “Ask your grandfather about my mother. Ask him what he did to her. What they all did to her. You can’t just blame her for all of this,” he said, his eyes reflecting my pain.

  “I’m sorry,” I told him, touching his face. I haven’t been told the whole story. Yet, again. I wondered if Lolo would be honest enough to tell me what they did to make Mirasol hate them so much.

  I felt Jason’s arms around me, his heart beating fast. He smelled of citrus again, like that first day at school.

  “I can protect you better if I stay with my mother and the dark clans,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

  I knew what he was saying. It didn’t matter what choice he made. In the end, he was still everyone’s enemy. He was my enemy. He didn’t come here to appease me. He came to say goodbye. He knew the next time we see each other would be when they attacked.

  Jason kissed me, tenderly at first, then more urgent. I pulled him closer to me, trying to stop the pain that was eating me inside. I let my emotions flow freely as I touched his face. I felt his pain, too. I felt the love, the anger, the resentment, the hopelessness. He was resigned to the fact that only his death would make things right for me.

  He pulled away and then was gone.

  I sat on the ground on the side of the road, sobbing. I felt like my chest was on fire and something was eating my stomach. I had never felt so much pain in my life.

  A peaceful presence engulfed me. I looked up to see Serra, extending her hand to help me up. We walked back to the house in silence and sat together in the living room for a long time.

  “I understand why this hurts. But remember that this has never happened before. Not to you, not to him, not to us, not to anyone in Engkantasia. Who is the authority on love? Who says that enemies have to be enemies? Who says that a dark creature cannot fall in love?”

  “But he can kill us all. How can I just ignore that?”

  “He doesn’t want to kill you or your family. But when he transforms, he loses his humanity. They become monsters, relying on instincts, with only one goal in mind—to win no matter what. It’s not his fault he is like this. Remember that he is a product of decades of actions by his mother who wants nothing but to destroy us. He didn’t ask for this.”

  “What am I supposed to do? I’m in love with a monster.”

  “I don’t know. I really don’t know. But I am certain that when the time comes, you will know the right thing to do,” Serra said, hugging me.

  I went to bed more troubled than ever. I hardly slept, and when I did, it was filled with dreams of Jason turning into a manananggal and eating my entire family while I wept on the floor, covered in their blood.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  San Francisco Tribune, June 2015

  Missing Migrant Found: Amnesia Cause of Disappearance

  It has been three years since new migrant Marie Harris disappeared from her home without a trace. While her sudden return has brought overwhelming joy to her family, police are questioning where she’s been since she went missing.

  Authorities are saying that Harris “sleep walked” the night she disappeared and “had an accident that caused her amnesia.” Being new to the country, Harris lived like a nomad, moving from town to town and survived on small jobs.

  The police interviewed Harris where she confirmed that her memory started returning only weeks before her return. However, since she is not familiar with the country, it took her a while to realize where she lived.

  According to official reports, Harris has several old injuries all over her body. Although Harris can’t remember what accident caused her amnesia, doctors are saying her old injuries are consistent with major trauma. The family has refused media interviews but has released a statement.

  W hen I woke up, Mama was watching me sleep. She smiled as she tucked my hair behind my ear. She looked a lot better than yesterday. The dark circles under her eyes were fading and her skin was going back to its normal glow, like she was never tortured for three years. I sat up, still staring at her, almost doubting that she was actually here.

  “Bad dreams?” she asked, touching my hand.

  I nodded. I was afraid to say anything that might seem like a lie. I wondered if she could read my thoughts and feelings like Serra could.

  “Jason?”

  I nodded again. She could read my mind. But I didn’t want to talk about him. There was nothing I could do. I had to focus on what I have to do to prepare for the attack. By now, Serra would have already told everyone about the plan against us.

  “I know you’re training today, but I’m hoping we can talk before you go. I’m sure you have a lot
of questions for me.”

  She was right. I did have a thousand questions to ask her. But I didn’t know where to start. Why did she run away? Why did she lie to us? Why did she decide to stay in the human world? Does she miss her old life? I decided to start with the most immediate ones.

  “What happens after we close the veil?”

  “Everyone goes back to their proper places, their proper realms. The engkanto will finally stop using the humans as playthings or food. Order will resume.”

  “Lolo told me about how I can’t come back once I take over the throne.”

  Mama looked alarmed, like she wasn’t expecting this at all.

  “You’re not going to Engkantasia, Karina. I won’t allow it.”

  “But who will take over the throne? Lolo said it has to be from our bloodline, it has to be …” Then it hit me. I wasn’t going because she was taking my place. Mama was going to go back with Lolo. She was going to disappear again. She was going to leave us again.

  “There are creatures in Engkantasia who are not willing to be ruled by a half-being. The only good choice for both worlds is if I leave this one and take over my rightful place in Engkantasia. I’ll have to marry an engkanto and forsake my own human marriage, which isn’t considered a marriage in my people’s eyes anyway. I’ll have to produce an heir that is a purely untainted engkanto. That’s my destiny and I have to accept it,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

  What she said made sense. From a logical perspective, the original engkanto was the best person for the job. Except that she was my mother. My mother who I only found again two nights ago. I couldn’t let her do this. I couldn’t let her leave Dad again. It would crush him. I didn’t know if he would be able to make it if Mama disappeared again.

  “I’m going to talk to your Lolo about this,” Mama said. “I want you to come with me.”

  I nodded. Maybe he could convince her not to do it. Maybe I could convince her to change her mind. I put on my training clothes and walked downstairs with Mama to find Lolo. We found him in the garden staring at a picture of me as a child. Mama sat down next to him.

  “I didn’t want this on you and your family,” he said without looking at us. “As much as I want you back in our world, I also don’t want to take you away from the life you’ve made for yourself. I understand why you want to stay. I understand why you left. But there is a greater need to fulfill, and sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good.”

  I had never seen my Lolo so defeated. He had always been so royal and stern, the epitome of a king. I looked at him and saw a human side that was not there before.

  “I’m going home with you, Father. I’m taking my rightful place on the throne. I, too, understand why you had to do this. I can’t let Karina do this. Her life is here. Mine is there with you,” Mama said.

  He looked at Mama, stunned by her words.

  “Are you sure about this? You can never come back. You can never see your family again,” he said, looking at us with tired eyes.

  “I know but I’ve lived my life here. I’ve experienced so much and I can’t let Karina pay for my mistakes. If I go with you now, we can immediately organize our army and force the dark clans to go back to our world.”

  He didn’t say anything for a long time. I started to wonder whether he heard what Mama said.

  “I’ll call for a meeting with the leaders,” he finally said. Lolo took Mama’s hand and kissed it. “I’m so sorry, mija. I just wanted you to know that even though you ran away all those years ago, I’ve always been proud of you. You’re the only one in our family who had the courage to find her own path. I hope you know how much I love you.”

  They hugged for the first time since Mama ran away. My heart melted and ached at the same time for what was about to come. There was always a downside no matter which decision we made. After getting her back, I didn’t know how I would be able to let her go again.

  Mama stood up to leave but I stayed with Lolo. I needed to know Mirasol’s story. I didn’t know what good it would do to my situation but I couldn’t shake the pain in Jason’s eyes.

  “Lolo, tell me about Mirasol. Who is she? Do you know her?”

  He hesitated, looking away before answering. “I’ve told you the manananggal and Engkanto have been enemies since the days of creation. Everyone in Engkantasia knows that. Both sides keep to themselves. We’ve always kept an eye out for the manananggal’s offsprings in the human world. It was no different when Mirasol was born.

  “Arman, my right-hand man, was assigned to watch over her. Unlike other guardians in the past, he never judged the Manananggals. He watched Mirasol, making sure she did not become a threat to the kingdom. What I did not expect was for him to fall in love with her. I was confident that was never going to happen. It has never happened in the past. But Arman saw the kindness in Mirasol and he asked to see her in the human world.”

  Kindness? It was difficult for me to understand how such a monster could ever be kind. As if reading my mind, Lolo continued.

  “Mirasol may have been born a monster but there was a point when she didn’t want that curse. She fought it. She avoided killing humans. She tried to curb her hunger. But in the end, it was too much for her to fight on her own. For a while, she only fed on criminals but even then she still didn’t feel right about killing a human being. Arman knew that about her.”

  Lolo showed me Mirasol’s past, the first time she met Arman. An open field with the moon high in the sky. Her dress was covered in blood. The engkanto, Arman, was behind her.

  “What do you want from me?” she asked him.

  “Nothing. My name is Arman and I’m …”

  “An engkanto, I know. And I presume you know what I am then? Why haven’t you attacked me yet? Isn’t that what an engkanto does?”

  “Not all of us jump to conclusions. I know what you are but you’re not from Engkantasia. In fact, you’ve never lived there, have you?”

  “No, I was born in the human world because your good king banished my mother. I have no intention of going back there anyway. This world is my smorgasbord,” she said, spitting her words.

  “That’s a shame. You probably would have liked it.”

  “I highly doubt it. From what I heard, the engkanto hunts creatures like us just to eliminate our clan once and for all. That doesn’t sound to me like a very friendly place.”

  “Did your mother tell you that?”

  She nodded, but looked uncertain.

  “What your mother probably omitted was that the engkanto only retaliates when being attacked. We do our best to keep the peace among the clans. We leave the dark clans to do their own business on their side of the world. As long as they don’t attack, everything is fine.”

  She said nothing, but her face softened.

  “If your kingdom is so noble, why are creatures like me not allowed to go across? My mother’s sins are not mine and it wasn’t my choice to be born in this world. Maita’s descendants shouldn’t be punished.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to go back?”

  “I don’t but I would like to have the freedom to choose,” she replied sharply.

  “Good point. I’ll ask the King myself and let you know what he says.”

  “Did he really ask you, Lolo?” I asked as the image stopped.

  He sighed and nodded.

  “What did you tell him? Why couldn’t Mirasol go back to Engkantasia?”

  “I understood her point. However, the rules have been placed there for hundreds of years for a reason. Changing them or breaking them will end in chaos,” Lolo said.

  “Doesn’t that sound like you’re just washing your hands?” I asked, not wanting to anger Lolo but also confused as to why they just watched Mirasol deteriorate instead of find a way to help her out.

  “Engkantasia is a different world, Karina. It is hard to explain our ways to you when you’ve never even seen it before,” he said.

  I tried to understand their ways
but I didn’t agree with a lot of it. “What happened to Mirasol and Arman?”

  Lolo unfroze the images and I saw Arman again, with Mirasol in the human world. They looked like a normal couple in the beginning of a relationship, watching movies, dining together, laughing.

  “He visited Mirasol often, even without permission from me or the council. He would sneak during times when he knew we were not watching the human world. And because he was tasked to watch Mirasol, he knew we wouldn’t be watching them. It took a while before anyone found out.”

  There was a goodness in Mirasol and one engkanto saw it. He did something about it. He didn’t just sit down and watched like everyone else. How did it end up so bad then?

  “Arman never claimed to know how one would cope with such a curse. He never detested Mirasol for what she is. He accepted her, truly and fully. This scared us all. It scared me the most.”

  Lolo’s pain was painted on his face, a heaviness from deep within. I could see that Arman was more than just Lolo’s apprentice. He loved him like his own son. Digging all this up must be hard on him. Still, I needed to know everything.

  “Months after disappearing from Engkantasia, Arman asked Mirasol to marry him. He gave her his healing ring, one forged with a rock from Engkantasia. It speeds up the healing process of whoever wears it and it is passed on by our ancestors within the family. It caused a great debate in the kingdom. I had to do something.”

  “What’s so bad about them getting married?” I asked.

  “The union would have bonded them. It meant they could be together here or in Engkantasia if they wanted to. Even I would not have been able to separate them. Although he was uncertain about our reaction, Arman returned to ask me for my blessing. The royal council was angry at what he did. They asked for his immediate exile or a more severe form of punishment. I spoke to him in private and he begged for my mercy.”