Tomorrow's Promise

by Radclyffe

  Nevertheless, Tom continued toward her and held out his hand. “Tanner, how are you?” he said.

  Tanner stared at him for a moment, then took his hand in a firm grasp. “Busy.”

  “I can see that. It looks very impressive.” Tom searched her face for some hint of her true feelings, and finding no clue in her hooded eyes and expressionless face, he decided to say what he had come to say.

  “Tanner, I’d like to talk with you. Do you have a moment?”

  Tanner regarded him steadily, wondering just why she resented him so much. She knew in her heart that it was not his fault that Adrienne had left her. Still, the sight of him reminded her of all she had lost, and she couldn’t forgive him for being a part of Adrienne’s world. He, at least, could see her, talk with her. She shrugged. “Sure.”

  She turned away, heading instinctively to the water, her only source of comfort. When she couldn’t stand the confines of the marina office or her own barren bungalow, she sailed. Only there, alone on the water, could she find any semblance of peace. She leaned against the rail at the edge of the cove, and Tom joined her.

  “I want to talk to you about your mother,” he began quietly.

  Tanner stared straight ahead, but her jaw clenched. “What about her?”

  Tom took a deep breath and looked directly at Tanner. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

  Tanner turned to him, open amazement in her face. “You can’t be serious!”

  Tom smiled slightly. “Oh, but I am—very serious. I love her, Tanner. I want to live with her, share our lives together. Weekends now and then are not enough.”

  Tanner winced, as if his words were arrows directed at her very soul. She would be so grateful for just a weekend with Adrienne. But, that was over. Adrienne was gone.

  “And Mother?” she asked directly. “Does she feel the same way?” She was surprised to see the look of uncertainty flash across Tom’s handsome features.

  “I don’t know. She cares for me, I believe,” he began slowly, almost to himself. “I think she is lonely here on Whitley Point.” He held his hand up, stopping Tanner’s protest. “Oh, she loves you, and she loves the island, too. There’s no doubt of that. But I think the main reason she's stayed all these years is not because you needed her so very much, but because she needed you. You are a reminder for her in so many ways of your father. And she loved him so very much that she didn’t want to lose all that remained of him.”

  He squared his shoulders, unconsciously adopting an aggressive military stance. “But she deserves more than memories; she deserves a chance to live again. Maybe without all the passion she knew with Charles, but at least with someone who cares for her, someone who cherishes her. And I do.”

  Tanner stared at him, her jaw slightly agape, surprised at his insight and sensitivity. She realized she didn't know the first thing about Tom Hardigan. All he had been to her was a painful reminder of Adrienne. She thought about her mother, quietly bearing her grief with dignity, somehow always there when Tanner had needed her. She swallowed hard and nodded. “She has been lonely, I know. And I've never been much company for her. I’ve always been too wrapped up in my own private unhappiness. Lately, it’s been worse.” She looked at Tom and tried to find the words that came so hard to her.

  “Do you really think she would be happy away from Whitley Point?”

  Tom smiled at that. “Not for long, I don’t imagine. Constance is more of a Whitley than she realizes. I hope to be stationed in Washington, D.C. next year. And if Constance agrees to marry me, we would never be far from Whitley Point, or from you.”

  "You don't have to worry about me," Tanner stated quietly. "I have everything I need right here."

  Tom seriously doubted that. It wasn't hard to see the emptiness in her eyes, or to the hear the bitterness in her voice. He wanted to offer some comfort, but knew that there wasn't any.

  Tanner laughed suddenly, a spark of her old self reappearing for an instant. “I feel like the father of the bride, standing here having this conversation with you! We must, after all, let Mother decide.”

  Tom grinned back. “You’re right. Now that I have permission, I can ask her!"

  Tanner regarded him in astonishment. “You are crazy!”

  “You bet,” he said quickly.

  Suddenly Tanner's face grew still. “Tom, how is Adrienne?”

  Tom hesitated a moment, and then decided to be totally honest. “If you ask me, and no one does, I’d say lousy. She and Alicia are living in their old house together, but I don't know what's happening between them. They’re friends, that’s only natural. Adrienne doesn't talk to me about it, or anyone else that I know of. She's working well – better than ever really, but that seems to be the only thing that keeps her going. In fact, I’d say she’s long overdue for a promotion.” Tanner was very pale, and her hands on the rough-hewn fence rail were shaking. He'd probably said more than he should have, but her anguish was so sharp, and so clear, it hurt him to look at her. “She looks well physically, but there’s something missing. She's going through the motions, Tanner, but I’d say she left her heart and soul on Whitley Point.”

  Tanner closed her eyes, struggling to bury the pain. When she opened them, Tom was heartened to see something hard and determined force its way through the wounded confusion.

  “Tom,” she asked urgently, “what should I do? If I thought she’d come back, I’d fly out there tonight. I've wanted to, so many times. I wanted to call – even did a few times, then hung up at the last second. Because she said she didn't want me. She said she didn’t—” she faltered for a second, and then continued. “She said she didn’t love me.”

  Tom tried to imagine how hurt Tanner must feel, and didn’t really want to know. “Tanner,” he said, “I think Adrienne truly believed that leaving you was the right thing to do – for you. She met you when she was just barely beginning to recover, and I think she was afraid she would die, and you would be alone.”

  Tanner drew a sharp breath, the thought still piercing her with agony. “Does she think that would be worse than living without her now, knowing that she is halfway across the country, and won’t even see me?”

  “I don’t know, Tanner," he replied, thinking that he had let Adrienne down. She had sacrificed a chance for happiness, and he had let her. I’ll ask her. It’s about time somebody did.

  * * *

  After Tom left, Tanner finished up the work plans for the next day, leaving notes for Josh and instructions for the contractors. She considered sleeping on the Pride that night, as she usually did when Tom was visiting, but then decided there was something more important than her own lingering discomfort with him. Something she should have done weeks ago. She went directly into the main house where Tom and her mother were having a cocktail.

  “Mother,” she said after a brief hello to Tom, “I’d like to talk to you.”

  Both Tom and Constance looked surprised, but Constance rose immediately. “Of course, dear. Shall we walk in the garden?”

  Once they were out of Tom’s hearing, Tanner turned to her mother. “Mother, are you happy here?”

  Constance was startled. “Happy? Why, of course I’m happy. This is my home.”

  Tanner shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I meant, are you happy here?" She stopped for a moment and then drew a deep breath. “Is this the life you want? Enough of a life?”

  Constance studied Tanner for a moment, not seeing the reflection of her husband any longer, but the strong, forthright woman her daughter had become. “I love the island; I always will. But, I must admit, I do get lonely. Sometimes I think my life ended when your father died.”

  Tanner shook her head vehemently. “No! That is not true. It must not be true. You are alive, and Father is gone. You owe it to yourself to make a life for yourself. You deserve that.”

  Constance tilted her head and smiled almost shyly at Tanner. “And do you think I should make that life with Tom Hardigan?”

  Ta
nner shrugged. “That is only for you to say. But he does seem to care for you." With another sigh, she admitted, "And I like him.”

  Suddenly serious, Constance asked, “And what of the island? There is still a lot that needs looking after here.”

  Tanner straightened her shoulders and reached for her mother’s hand. “I shall look after things here, Mother. It’s the one thing I’m good at.”

  “And you, Tanner? Who shall look after you, my dear?” Constance said softly.

  “I don’t know, Mother. For now, it must be only me.”

  Constance held her daughter’s hand tightly in her own, hoping fervently that Tanner was wrong.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  TANNER AND JOSH were bent over a drafting table outside the marina office, reviewing the plans to remodel the piers and dredge part of the channel to accommodate larger ships. Tanner planned to have a world-class marina with room for large cruisers as well as sailing boats. That meant restaurants as well as shore side accommodations where people could stay before or after charters.

  Tanner had already purchased a base fleet of sailboats, due to arrive in the spring, which she intended to lease for charter. The developers, of course, were delighted to see a move toward modernization on Whitley Point. The long-time inhabitants, worried at first that such changes would ruin the serenity of `their’ island, were reassured when they saw the designs for the new installations. Tanner had been adamant about preserving the integrity of the shoreline, and that the renovation of the harbor area would restore much of its nineteenth century charm.

  Tanner found the work challenging, and she felt for the first time that her energies, and her talent, were being put to good use. She assumed more of the financial management of the project, as well as having the final say over all the design plans. It was a job that could quite easily consume all of her time, and it nearly did. And that was exactly what she wanted.

  Being totally involved with work was the only way she could keep her mind off Adrienne for a little while. She thought of her constantly, a continual ache that never abated. As the months passed with no word from Adrienne, she besieged herself with questions. Would Adrienne tell her—would anyone tell her—if Adrienne were ill? What should she have said, to make Adrienne stay? What could she say now, to change her mind? Please come back, I'm dying without you?

  It tormented her, not knowing. So she worked and at least took comfort in exhaustion.

  Josh nodded, pleased, when he looked at the designs the draftsman had constructed to Tanner’s specifications. “I like it—I sure do. I thought you’d have a time finding mooring space for the big boats, but you did. It’s going to be dandy!”

  Tanner smiled at his obvious delight. “I’m glad you approve. I can’t make a move without your consent, now that you're my new my general manager.”

  Josh beamed, a happy man. “Remember, eight, nine months ago, you asked me if I liked you?”

  Tanner nodded, remembering what had prompted the conversation. God, it seemed like a lifetime ago that she had awakened, soaked and nearly frozen, to discover Adrienne holding her for the first time. She saw herself as if from a distance, so arrogant and foolhardy. So fucking blind to the things that really mattered. She shuddered, and pulled herself away from the memories. “I remember.”

  “Well,” he said thoughtfully, “I think I can say with fair certainty that you’ve turned out real well. You're a fine person, Tanner Whitley.”

  “Thank you, Josh," Tanner said softly. "Coming from you, I almost believe it.”

  Josh studied her quietly, knowing that she suffered from some deep hurt in her soul. He also knew why, and that there wasn’t much anyone could do for it. He looked past her up the pier, and whistled low. “Well, well—here comes the Navy again.” He muttered something that sounded like, "Always bringing trouble."

  Tanner wheeled around, instantly concerned when she saw Tom Hardigan coming down the pier. She was certain that her mother had mentioned he wasn't expected until next week. She hurried to meet him.

  “Tanner, I—” he began, looking uncharacteristically solemn.

  “What is it?” she cried, her heart pounding. “Is it Adrienne? Is Adrienne all right?”

  Tom held up one hand. “Slow down a minute.” His face was suddenly alight with pleasure. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

  Tanner looked beyond him to another figure in uniform, and she thought her heart would cease to beat. Adrienne came slowly down the pier toward her. Tom excused himself, knowing no one heard him. Josh discreetly rolled up the plans and disappeared into the office.

  Tanner was riveted to the spot, afraid to move lest the spell be broken and Adrienne disappear. Adrienne stopped a few steps from Tanner, searching Tanner's face for some sign that she was welcome. What she found was the deep well of love in Tanner’s eyes that could never quite be concealed. But there was something else there, too. Pain, and bewilderment. Adrienne’s breath caught in her throat. Tanner was trembling. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, Tanner. Will you ever forgive me?”

  Tanner studied her, still uncertain of Adrienne’s presence. Why had she come? Was this a quick visit, an attempt at some kind of friendship? Tanner was afraid to hope, and even more afraid to feel. She knew she could not bear another disappointment. "There's nothing to forgive. I understand why you left."

  "Do you?" Adrienne asked quietly. She was suddenly at a loss for words. Those reasons that had been so clear to her eight months ago seemed to crumble in the wake of the hurt she had caused. "I needed to come east for some meetings –" she faltered and fell silent.

  “Can you stay — for dinner?” Tanner asked cautiously, afraid to make any assumptions.

  “I’d like that. Actually Tom spoke with Constance already, and we'll be staying there tonight." She wasn't sure if that news pleased Tanner or not, and she hurried on, "Would you show me around the marina first? Tom's been telling me of some of the changes you've been making.”

  Tanner nodded, still shocked at Adrienne's presence. “Of course.”

  They walked around the harbor, Tanner quietly pointing out the renovations under way and describing her plans. Adrienne was impressed, both by the scope of Tanner’s design and the enthusiasm she displayed. The young woman she had known had matured in her absence, her wild streak tamed. Tanner's simmering anger seemed to have quelled. Adrienne was suddenly afraid that perhaps Tanner had outgrown her passion for her as well. The thought made her ache, but she knew that the changes in Tanner were for the best. She would have to hope that there was still room for her in Tanner’s heart.

  “It’s wonderful,” she said, meaning it. She glanced at Tanner with a new respect. “You must be very proud.”

  Tanner flushed with embarrassment, but she was pleased as well. She took Adrienne’s hand. “Come inside—I want to show you the model of how things will look someday.”

  She led Adrienne to the office. Josh Thomas looked up as they entered and rose stiffly from behind the desk. He eyed Adrienne coldly, nodded, and left the room.

  Adrienne raised one eyebrow and followed his retreat with her eyes. “Guess I’m one of his un-favorite people,” she remarked.

  Tanner looked uncomfortable. “Josh is a little protective of me. Sorry.”

  Adrienne shrugged. “He has a right to be. I can see why he finds you special.” She looked at Tanner, the love she felt for her very clear in her face.

  Tanner hurried to the drafting board and began explaining the plans to Adrienne, who tried to listen attentively but found her mind wandering instead to the curve of Tanner’s neck as she leaned over the table, and the slight smell of the sea that clung to her, and the soft golden glow of her skin. She sighed and stepped away from the woman beside her, afraid if she didn't she'd take her into her arms right there in the office.

  “Tanner? Would you mind if we saved the rest of this for another day? I’m tired—it was a long flight. I think I’d like a bath and a long drink.”

  Tanner g
lanced at her in surprise, noting for the first time that Adrienne, although tanned, was thinner than she remembered, and there was a hint of shadows under her eyes. Her heart lurched with sudden fear. Was she ill again? Is that why she had come?"

  “Adrienne,” she said, her anxiety palpable, “are you all right?”

  Adrienne looked startled for a second and then understood. She impulsively pulled Tanner to her, hugging her briefly. She looked straight into Tanner’s dark eyes, reading the concern there. “I’m more than all right. The doctors tell me I’m in perfect condition—and all of my latest tests were absolutely normal. Okay?”

  Tanner closed her eyes in relief, and then grinned weakly. “Okay. But you are a little thin!”

  Adrienne kissed her lightly on the forehead. “From missing you," she whispered. She placed one hand on Tanner’s cheek and caressed her neck softly. Then she leaned into Tanner and kissed her with fierce intensity. Tanner closed her eyes and clung to Adrienne, savoring the taste and smell of her. At length Adrienne lifted her lips away from Tanner’s and murmured throatily, “I’ve missed you so much.”

  Tanner sighed, lowering her cheek to Adrienne’s shoulder, her arms around Adrienne’s waist as if to prevent her from vanishing. “It’s been so long. I had almost stopped hoping.”

  They swayed together, bodies touching, listening to one another breathe, each searching for some sign from the other. Finally, Adrienne said, "Come on—I want to see the rest of the island. I didn’t realize how fond I had become of this place.”

  Tanner took the shore road home, driving slowly, neither of them saying much. It was enough for the moment to be near one another amidst the beauty that had surrounded them that magic summer.

  They found Tom and Constance seated comfortably on the verandah, talking and enjoying a late lunch. Constance greeted Adrienne warmly and had the maid show her upstairs to the guestroom. Tanner said she would be back as soon as she showered and changed. Her face glowed with an excitement she couldn't hide, and her step was light as she bounded down the path to her bungalow.