Light and Shadow

by Patti Larsen

  “I’m sorry,” Quaid said. “I couldn’t help.” He sounded truly agonized over it. “We had our orders.”

  “You shouldn’t have been involved,” I said. “You’re in training, not a full Enforcer.”

  “Your mother didn’t have many of us to choose from.” He shifted, uncomfortable. “Aside from Pender, we were all trainees.”

  Interesting. “And the rest of her army?”

  “Doing what they’re supposed to do,” he said. Snapped. “Following the Brotherhood.”

  So Mom took my warning seriously.

  “Well, thanks for dropping by.” I couldn’t bring myself to even open my power to him. Not because he’d lied to me about Payten. Not because he’d stood by when we could have struck a big blow on the Brotherhood. But because he chose the wrong damned side.

  I have no idea how we would have parted if Trill and Owen hadn’t chosen that moment to sneak through the back door and into the yard, freezing as they saw us standing there.

  “Hi,” I said. “Nice night for a walk.”

  The backpacks Meira gave them from her stash were hung over their shoulders, bulging with stuff. Owen looked guilty, ducking his head, but Trill just faced me down.

  “You know we have to go.” She shifted her hand on the strap of her bag. “Iepa was clear about my task.”

  I nodded slowly, sadly, feeling tired and suddenly much older than my nineteen years. I’d lived lifetimes already, it seemed. How would I survive living forever?

  “I still think you should stay,” I said. “Let us help you find Nona. Do more research into the family lines.” Liam’s department. “And we’re supposed to work together.” Had. And it was amazing.

  “We are,” Trill said. “But she also said it was time to go. And she’s right.” Trill reached out and hooked one arm around Owen, pulling him against her. “I’ve denied my fate for too long. I have a job to do.” She smiled, a little smile, but enough Owen did too. “I promise we’ll see you soon.”

  I joined them, hugging first Trill and then her brother, resigned to letting them walk away though my heart begged me not to. Yes, she was irritating at times. And yes, he was a sorcerer and dangerous no matter how much he wanted things to be different. But it felt like I was allowing them to go into trouble alone.

  Just went against everything I’d been taught. Family. It was all about family, wasn’t it?

  “Where will you go?” I ruffled Owen’s hair, kissed his forehead while he hugged me hard.

  “To find Nona,” Trill said.

  “And our brother,” Owen finished for her. “He disappeared years ago, with our father. We were sure they were both gone. But now…” Owen’s brilliant eyes brimmed with hope. “We need to find him.” His hand slid over mine as he pulled away, the shining blue crystal settling in my palm. “Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

  I tried to give it back, despite the surge of power I felt as it reconnected with the magic inside me, but Owen shook his head, closing my fingers over it.

  “It was made for you,” he said. “I can’t use it without you. Besides, you’re going to need it to access your sorcery.”

  Um. What?

  Trill rolled her eyes. “Just dump it on her, why don’t you?” She pushed her glasses up her nose before shrugging. “You need to know,” she said. “The rest of it.”

  Wasn’t sure I wanted to. But since when was my life boring or anything?

  “You wouldn’t have been able to use it, or the other one, unless you were a sorcerer too,” Trill said. “And I already knew you were anyway. Remember what I said? How you were so close?”

  I nodded, feeling Quaid drift closer, listening, though I wasn’t sure I wanted him privy to whatever was about to hit me like a ton of bricks in the chest.

  “You’re maji.” Trill was almost breathless when she said it.

  “Yes,” I said. “I knew that already. Remember?”

  “No, Syd,” Owen said, squeezing my hand around the crystal. “Not just one of the bloodline, though yes, you have their blood. You are becoming maji.”

  Hang on just a dang minute—

  “You would be full maji by now if you hadn’t had your growth stunted.” Trill sighed. “But your evolution is almost done. You only have two pieces missing, two last magicks to assimilate.”

  “Your creation magic.” Owen stepped away, to stand next to Trill.

  “And your sorcery.” They linked hands, the light and the shadow, watching me.

  “Someday,” Trill whispered, “you will join them, the ranks of the Undying. And you will be a creator like no other.”

  Tears seemed appropriate. Yelling and screaming even. Not this horrible tightness in my chest, the feeling of inevitable endlessness I had no control over.

  Destiny could leave me the hell alone.

  I watched them leave, silent but tied together, my heart heavy, my soul twisting in loneliness. Undying. Never ending.

  Forever.

  Until the parts of me, my demon, Sidhe and vampire all reached out and drew me close, winding their way around me.

  Not alone. Not alone.

  Never.

  Hands settled on my shoulders, turned me around. I allowed him to hold me, to tie his power to me, to feel him and his love for me. The knots inside me eased at last, released.

  I pulled away finally and looked up at him, into his eyes, detaching gently from the warmth of his magic.

  “Watch over them,” I said. “If you can. And keep them safe.”

  Quaid tensed, but nodded at last, bending to kiss me gently before turning away and leaving me there in the dark.

  I stood so long, so quiet, the light went out, leaving me in the black, feet rooted to the earth, grasping for the feeling of belonging.

  Even longer still before I turned and went inside, wiping away the last of my tears, closing the door softly behind me.

  ***

  Chapter Forty

  Life, as life was wont to do, went back to (ab)normal.

  Thanks to Gram’s constant vigilance and training the rest of the coven, we were covered on the watching for sorcerers department, at least in Wilding Springs. And with no sign of them over the next little while, I felt the coven relax and accept this disaster as they had all the others.

  I just wished I could be so blasé about it.

  When I finally managed to corner Mom and talk to her, it was by her choice. She and her Enforcers swept into town to pick me up before winging off to the Brotherhood’s mansion, Mom refusing to speak to me about it or even tell me where I was being taken until I found myself standing in what was once a garden, staring in horror at the smoking pile of ash and melted glass that had been the huge house.

  Belaisle made sure to leave behind a little gift as a further warning not to pursue him. Mom ordered the white cat nailed to the stake taken down and the upside down pentagram erased from the top of it.

  At least the shaken look on her face told me she wasn’t going to let him get away with it. Followed by her very firm orders to track and locate every single sorcerer on the continent and report back to her.

  Okay then.

  When Mom started muttering words like “infiltration” and “task force”, I figured my part in the mess was done.

  Well, until I could figure out how to bypass her orders not to engage any sorcerers in battle until she gave the go ahead.

  Quaid had been silent. I could only hope he was able to keep an eye on the kids, though it was doubtful. He had his own responsibilities and it was unfair of me to ask him to toss everything aside to do me a favor. Even one as important as their survival.

  They weren’t my problem anymore. Weren’t. Iepa made that clear.

  So why did I worry about them every day?

  Discrete inquiries into finding their grandmother got me nowhere and I didn’t trust myself past initial probing with magic not to do damage—like accidentally turning her over to the Brotherhood with my snooping—so I left well enough alone and t
ried to focus.

  Liam was so into studying the maji he thought, breathed and talked about nothing else. I found myself avoiding him and his obsession though I felt bad about it, considering everything he learned was really for me. And his own driving need for knowledge.

  He was such a geek, I couldn’t help but adore him.

  I had a lot to figure out, after all. Like how to use the crystal Demetrius made me. Last time had been trial by fire, desperation. Now I had time to focus and play around, it seemed impossible to understand what I was trying to do. The little vampire soul inside the crystal adored me, that much was awesome. It cooed and hummed and sang to me sometimes. But when it came to drawing out my ability, I was lost.

  I needed a teacher. Not likely the enemy were going to oblige. Besides with so much power inside me, it was hard to tell what I was doing and with which at times, especially with the sweet voice of the crystal distracting me almost constantly.

  I’d just have to wing it.

  Demetrius was long gone and the miserable little apartment Rosetta and her fellow Chosen lived in long empty. I knew I could have chased them down. Galleytrot was more than willing to try. But for the time being I’d be better off finding a teacher who didn’t want to either sacrifice me because I was evil or kill me because I wasn’t part of the company line.

  Go figure.

  On the family front, Gram wasn’t easing up on her pressure for me to find a second. Yeah, I had tons of time to think about something like that. I kept putting her off, though I knew it wasn’t fair.

  I just needed my grandmother around me for a while longer.

  Meira was still a little cold with me, even after we both went downstairs together to call Dad and I let her have most of his time and attention. Guess there were things she held against me no matter how hard I tried to let her be her own person.

  Wasn’t looking forward to her teens.

  At least Uncle Frank and Sunny’s wedding wasn’t being pushed back because of my recent dive into disaster. Their joy was enough to distract me from the feeling I was being drawn away from everything and everyone I loved by fate or destiny or some such tripe that made me nuts in the middle of the night and wouldn’t let me sleep.

  Being Sunny’s maid of honor was a lot of fun, though I could have done without the endless dress fittings. And if she brought me one more pair of shoes to try on, I’d have to kill her.

  School. Really? Sigh. I had two months before I had to think about it, yet. But Sashenka hadn’t given up on having me come to visit, so that was something to look forward to.

  Charlotte refused to even discuss pushing the limits of her bond and gave me the icy shoulder every time I brought it up. So my little plan to work out some freedom died before it even had a chance to breathe.

  One cool thing came out of all this. Feeling drawn to the maji cave, I returned there with the crystal. The slab waited for me, glowing softly. I hesitated to touch it this time, not wanting to have one of those waking dreams Iepa seemed so fond of. But this time, when I did, the most remarkable thing happened.

  In slow and lazy lines, the glow of maji power flowing like ink, each of the family trees updated themselves until I was staring at my name, now in English, Meira’s beside me, space left yet for the families we would have.

  Keeper of the family history? Couldn’t be more connected than that.

  ###

  Like what you read? Find more at

  www.pattilarsen.com

  ***

  Now, try the first chapter of

  Book Twelve of the Hayle Coven Novels

  Queen of Darkness

  Chapter One

  The giant wave crashed over my head about a second after I turned to see it coming. Blue water closed around me, the fading sun shining through, dispersed as I went deeper, shoved down to thud against the sandy bottom as inertia took over. My lungs spasmed, body begging for air I hadn’t had time to draw before going under. The brightly-painted surfboard rocketed to the surface without me, tether line jerking on my ankle as my body tried to figure out which way was up while the foaming rush of water drove me down and rolled me forward, head-first into the gritty bottom.

  I suppose I should have panicked, considering. Anyone else would have, I’m sure of it. But even in that moment of mortal terror, my logical mind shrugged.

  Immortality had its benefits.

  My demon wasn’t quite so calm about the whole thing. She started to shriek the moment we went under, clawing for freedom while Shaylee screamed at me in counter-point. I barely had time to catch myself as I began to flip, butt over end before my demon shredded the edge of the veil and threw us all into it.

  Sometimes sharing my body with three other consciousnesses was a bit of a pain in the ass.

  I hit the dry beach hard as she dropped us free only feet from the surf, coughing up the bit of water I’d managed to inhale. The sound of screaming, yeah, I was familiar with screaming, headed my way, my name being called in panic.

  Strong hands grasped me, flipped me over, a pair of arctic blue eyes fading from human to wolf staring into mine told me I was in a world of trouble. Charlotte growled softly under her breath, my ever-faithful bodywere recovering from yet another freak out I caused her.

  Hardly my fault. Surfing had been Sashenka’s idea.

  My college roommate and best friend fell to her knees beside me, her concern clear on her face as she reached for me around Charlotte, even when the weregirl snapped at her with her teeth as a warning to stay back. I pushed Charlotte aside and sat up, spluttering out a mouthful of sand, looking down in disgust at the mess of me.

  “I’m fine,” I said.

  Seriously, how embarrassing. Sashenka’s surfer friends had come to crowd around and check on me too. And while I really wasn’t interested in any of the guys, my love life about as complicated as I was willing to have it, it still kicked my ego hard in the soft place knowing how much of an idiot I’d made of myself.

  No more surfing. My demon chuffed her full agreement.

  The gang backed off with cheery comments: “Great ride, Sydilicious!” “Watch those big ones, Syderino!”, before running off to leap once more into the brink of yet another gigantic wave.

  I tried all week to learn to surf, and though I’d even thrown in a little water magic as a cheat, I just had to admit there wasn’t an athletic bone in my body. Outside soccer. And I’d given it up years ago.

  Sashenka stayed with me, her hand lifting the severed tether, surfboard nowhere to be seen. “Tallah’s going to kill you,” she grinned. “That was her favorite board.”

  I grinned back, wiping at the abrasive sand covering most of my body. “Good thing I’m immortal then, huh?”

  Charlotte was not taking this well. “That’s no excuse to pull a stupid stunt,” she snarled. Her accent was stronger than normal, a sure sign she was losing her temper.

  “I didn’t purposely try to drown, Charlotte,” I said. “The wave just took me by surprise.”

  Her eyes narrowed, the wolf in them restless and full of anxiety. “You might be immortal, but if you get hurt doing something like this again, I’ll kill you myself.” She stood and stalked off, grumbling and muttering to herself in her native language. Had to be swearwords.

  Had to be.

  I sent Sashenka off to keep surfing, taking a quick dip to clean off the sand before lying back in the dying daylight to watch the others ride the waves. I wasn’t sure why, but as I did I thought of Trill and Owen. The Zornovs had been gone about two months with no word from them. And though I knew they had their own destinies to deal with, that Trill was hopefully busy building a maji army now that we knew the Brotherhood was planning a world and plane-wide takeover, I still worried about them.

  All alone.

  There was a time when family didn’t mean much to me, my desire to get out of the witch lifestyle and leave it all behind the driving force in my life. But since I’d regained control and taken over half-leadership of the co
ven, family meant more to me than I expected. And now that I knew I was immortal, thanks to my demon blood, the Sidhe princess and vampire essence living inside me, being part of something bigger was even more important.

  I didn’t even want to think about what Trill said, how I was turning into maji—not just one of the blood line, but an actual maji like the meddling Iepa—nor consider what being a creator would mean. Hard enough knowing I’d outlive every person I loved. Well, almost. I had a few undead and demon family members who shared my longevity. And yet, I couldn’t help but worry about them, too.

  They were long lived, yes. But I was immortal. Never grow old, never die.

  Ever.

  Shudder.

  Made me want to curl up under the covers sometimes and hide from the world. Or hug my family so close to me they’d never be free. The truth was so big, the reality of it overwhelming. I just couldn’t deal.

  So I shoved it down and pretended nothing changed even though I knew everything had.

  Besides, most people would kill to have what I did. And here I was, complaining? Maybe if being immortal came with a quiet, peaceful lifestyle, I’d be less anxious. But mine tended to the ‘nothing, nothing, nothing, save the world before it explodes, nothing’ variety.

  Sashenka and Charlotte finally returned, the Hensley second carrying her board, my bodywere lugging the one I’d lost in the surf.

  “Saved by the werewolf,” Sashenka grinned, bumping shoulders with Charlotte who looked startled at the contact. “Tallah will forgive you now.”

  I climbed to my feet, grinning at the weregirl. Not very often did someone catch her off guard. “Thanks for saving me,” I said with a perfectly straight face.

  Sashenka had to go and ruin it by giggling.

  Charlotte shoved the board into my arms and snarled, stalking up the beach to the house, body tense and motions jerky and abrupt, a far cry from her normal flowing walk.

  “I didn’t mean to make her angry.” Sashenka and her empathy. I winked and hefted the board, following Charlotte’s path with my best friend beside me.