Tara: Catch Me if I Fall

by Meredith Costain

  ‘Hey, I don’t think anyone noticed,’ Ben says, handing me a towel.

  Abigail rolls her eyes. ‘They’re not blind. You handed her at least four marks.’

  ‘Abi’s right,’ Grace sniggers from behind her. ‘Youchy.’

  She blows me a kiss as she runs onto the stage. Shattered, I stare at the placings on the TV monitor. My name has slipped down to seventh position.

  ‘Shake it off,’ Abigail advises me. ‘She was always going to have the upper hand in contemporary.’

  ‘She will again tomorrow with The Red Shoes,’ I groan. ‘You should see her.’

  I move to the side of the stage to watch her solo. It’s brilliant. Flawless, I realise, my heart sinking.

  Abigail joins me. ‘Why don’t you do it as well?’

  I stare at her. Is she crazy?

  ‘You want to do that solo so much you dream about it.’

  I shake my head. ‘It’s bad luck. Last time I did it it was the preliminaries and Saskia was right then. I could never do it justice.’

  Abigail laughs. ‘Saskia said you didn’t have enough life experience. Do you want a tally of what you’ve been through this year?’

  My mind ticks over as I mull her words around in my head. No, it’s ridiculous. Grace will always be a better dancer than me.

  ‘There is another version,’ Abigail remembers. ‘Not the one Saskia did. The original.’

  ‘There is?’

  Abigail raises an eyebrow, then grins knowingly. ‘It would suit you.’

  Abigail’s taken over my coaching, perfecting my new version of The Red Shoes. But she’s still not happy with the grief scene, where Victoria cries.

  ‘You need to show them actual tears,’ she insists as I whirl past her. ‘Grace will exploit the melodrama. You have to be real.’

  I stop dancing. ‘I can’t cry. I told you that.’

  I sit down on the studio floor and untie my pointe shoes. ‘Which is why I’m going to do Aurora, as planned.’

  Abigail hunkers down next to me. ‘You cry every time you step on an ant,’ she points out gently. ‘You’re a crier. Why the blockage?’

  I sigh. ‘When I broke my back it was like falling into a hole that I didn’t know how to get out of. But this is a million times worse. I’m scared that if I start crying, I won’t be able to stop.’

  Abigail shakes her head, blinking back tears. ‘Nah. You’re stronger than that. It’s not the reason.’

  ‘Then what is?’

  ‘If you cry,’ Abigail stammers, her face contorting with grief, ‘it’s real. And if it’s real, he’s gone.’

  Christian turns up in my dressing room just before my final performance. Abigail is convinced he’ll break my focus, but I tell her it’s okay. There’s something I need to talk to him about.

  It’s awkward at first. After a few false starts, I finally make myself say the words that have been running on an endless loop in my head for the past week.

  ‘The day that Sammy –’ I stop, take a deep breath, then force myself to carry on. ‘He left me a message, saying you were coming to talk to me about something.’

  Christian’s eye mist. ‘Yeah, I was.’

  ‘So …’

  ‘Look,’ Christian says, dodging my question. ‘What did you mean about it being right with me, and not with Ben?’

  I shrug. ‘I don’t know. Ben and I are brand new. We only got together just before it happened. But with you …’

  Christian nods, understanding. ‘We have history.’

  ‘Plus, he’s so Ben, you know?’ I say, trying to make Christian understand what I like about him. ‘He’s gone through a lot of stuff but he always stays untouched and uncomplicated. Happy.’

  Christian’s face tightens. ‘They sound like good things.’

  ‘They are,’ I agree. ‘But I don’t match that anymore. With you …’

  But before I can finish my explanation, Abigail sweeps back in, ejecting Christian from the room. It’s time for me to get dressed in my Victoria outfit.

  CHAPTER 13

  This is it, the moment I’ve been working towards all year. I take my place at the side of the stage with the rest of the competitors, waiting to be called. But first, I have to watch Grace dancing my solo.

  I shake my head, crushed, as Grace soars and swoops around the stage in an identical dress to mine.

  ‘Technically and artistically perfect,’ I tell Kat, who has rushed over from her end-of-year exam to cheer me on.

  Kat’s not so sure. ‘And yet …’

  ‘Grace has never felt a genuine emotion in her life,’ Abigail agrees, ‘and it shows.’

  I bite my lip as Grace rises from her final position to tumultuous applause.

  ‘That was beautiful,’ I tell her as she runs over to gloat.

  ‘I think it was a nine,’ Grace smirks, ‘or a nine point five?’

  Then, like a snake, she moves in for the kill. ‘How does it feel? To go out there knowing I’ve already taken away what you want most?’

  Abigail’s and Kat’s arms slip around my shoulders as she glides away, cackling like a witch.

  The loudspeaker crackles. ‘Representing Australia, Tara Webster.’

  I run out onto the stage, trying to push Grace’s ugly words to the back of my mind. But, as the music swells, and my feet pick out the familiar movements, they’re soon replaced by others. Saskia’s voice booms inside my head, taunting me about my lack of experience of grief and heartbreak. ‘You’re just a silly kid,’ she’s sneering, ‘arrogant enough to think you’re an artist.’

  I close my eyes, trying to block them out. ‘Help me, Sammy,’ I plead.

  ‘Help yourself, T,’ Sammy answers.

  I stop, confused, looking around at the empty theatre. Where have all the people gone?

  Sammy’s hand slips into mine. ‘You’re meant to be dancing,’ he whispers.

  ‘Sammy?’ I say, pulling him into my arms. ‘Everything is wrong without you. We’re all going to fall apart.’

  Sammy hugs me back. ‘No, you won’t. Because you’re going to be the glue.’ He grins. ‘You’ll miss me, because I’m awesome, but you’ll be okay.’

  ‘But I don’t want to be okay,’ I sob. ‘I don’t want to let you go. I – I can’t, Sammy.’

  ‘Yes, you can, T,’ he assures me, taking my hand and leading me back into my solo. For a golden moment, we dance together, and then he’s gone, and I force myself to conquer the rest of my solo, alone.

  As the music builds to a crescendo, I hurl myself to the floor, tears finally spilling from my eyes, my body heaving with grief for a beloved friend I know I’ll never see again.

  Ben pushes his way into my dressing room. I stare at him, still in a daze.

  ‘Shouldn’t you be side stage? Your solo –’

  ‘Look,’ he interrupts me, ‘I know you want to push me away and I get it.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I tell him, feeling guilty for the way I’ve been avoiding him lately.

  ‘You don’t have to be,’ Ben tells me gently. ‘You can break up with me and keep me at a five kilometre radius. And I’ll just keep waiting.’

  I smile at his beautiful words, my heart slowly defrosting.

  ‘Because we’re going to be really good for each other,’ he says, ‘and eventually you’ll be ready to see it.’

  His name crackles through the loudspeakers.

  ‘Go,’ I say, pushing him towards the door. ‘Now.’

  ‘I need you out front,’ he tells me. ‘You, too,’ he adds, as Abigail and Kat arrive. Then he rushes back to the theatre.

  I sit in the audience, surrounded by my friends. The crowd applauds as Ben takes the stage, holding a microphone. Kat and I exchange looks. Why isn’t he dancing?

  ‘My friend, Sammy Lieberman – well, he was meant to be here,’ he tells the audience. ‘He had some pretty unique ideas about what he wanted to do in this section. So I’m going to go with that.’

  ‘They’ll disqualify
him!’ I gasp, as the wall behind him suddenly fills with a montage of images of our class. Abigail, Kat, Christian, Ollie, Ben – we’re all up there, dancing triumphantly.

  Sammy’s voice booms around the theatre. ‘Every dancer knows that being technically perfect is not enough. We need to know why we dance. For me, it’s to be connected. I’m inspired by my friends.’

  Then the music kicks in and Ben begins to dance – not his own carefully prepared solo, but the one Sammy would have done, if he’d been here.

  Kat nudges me. ‘Ben wants us to join him on stage.’ She waves to the others. ‘Come on!’

  We clamber up onto the stage to join Ben, giving our all to our final tribute to Sammy. He was right, I think, as we stream in perfect unison across the stage in a mishmash of styles. We dance to be connected.

  We come together in a group hug, just as a raft of balloons cascades from the ceiling. Ben lifts me high into the air and I push them around like a little girl at a birthday party. I hug him, grateful for this moment he’s given me, given us all.

  As I move from friend to friend, I notice Christian slipping away from the stage. I stare at his leather jacket, puzzled. And then Kat grabs my hand and drags me back into the action.

  Packing up my room at the end of term, I reflect on the events of the past year. I’ve lost and regained friends, and fallen in and out of love. I’ve been let down, broken and betrayed, but I’ve also discovered just how surprising people can be once you learn to trust them.

  Grace won the Internationals and the title ‘Best in the World’, but she was wrong about one thing. Winning was never what I wanted most. I may not be the girl who dreams of flying anymore – she crashed too many times – but now I dance with my feet on the ground and my eyes open. It’s made me realise that this wonderful adventure that I’m on requires faith, and humility, and always, love.

  At the beginning of the year the teachers told us there would be no second chances, and they were right. We have to dance each day as if it could be our last.

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  Copyright

  The ABC ‘Wave’ device is a trademark of the

  Australian Broadcasting Corporation and is used

  under licence by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia.

  First published in Australia in 2012

  This edition published in 2012

  by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia Pty Limited

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  www.harpercollins.com.au

  Text copyright © HarperCollins Australia

  Based on DANCE ACADEMY

  A WERNER FILMS PRODUCTION

  ORIGINAL STORY BY: Samantha Strauss

  CREATED BY: Samantha Strauss & Joanna Werner

  Copyright © 2012 Screen Australia, Screen NSW and Werner Film Productions

  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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  National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

  Costain, Meredith, 1955–

  Tara: catch me if I fall / Meredith Costain.

  ISBN: 9780733329982 (pbk.)

  ISBN: 9780730497097 (epub)

  Series: Dance academy. Series 2.

  For primary school age.

  Dancers--Juvenile fiction.

  Interpersonal relations--Juvenile fiction.

  Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

  A823.3

  Cover design by Karen Carter