Forever Distraction

by Stephanie Jean

  The group shifted, and the girl who was doing the kissing went on her hands and knees over the one on the floor. The man maneuvered behind her on his knees. The woman on the floor began to play with the dangling breasts above her, licking and kissing. I watched as he slowly penetrated the kneeling woman and she liked it, throwing her head back. He moved slowly, and the girl on bottom began to bathe the other’s boobs as her fingers slipped down to stimulate the woman’s clit.

  I was fascinatedly watching; everything looked gentle, soft, and erotic. I heard another loud moan and saw the top girl’s fingers curl. He moved a little faster, but not nearly as fast or as rough as Jason moved on me, and when I heard him groan, I watched him still inside her, and I couldn’t help imagining his come releasing inside her.

  Crew and I stayed for a bit longer, and I saw two girls kissing and pleasuring each other. Across the room was a couple with the woman on top. She had her pussy in his mouth first, massaging her body with her hands as he tongued her, and then she moved down his body to take hold of his penis, placing it inside her. She moved on him like she knew exactly how to use her body. He reached up and touched her breasts very gently, leaning his mouth up and suckling on each nipple. She got off while he was kissing her mouth, and then he positioned himself on top, slowly moved inside her, and continued kissing her. She moved her legs around his waist and he began a more solid thrusting. His body arched with his orgasm. The whole show was addictive, my body responding in ways I had missed. It was hypnotizing and difficult to tear my eyes away from.

  I adjusted myself on Crew, curious about what he was thinking. I inched closer to his mouth, studying his lips before sealing mine over them. He tasted like black licorice, and the texture was soft and gentle. I kissed him slowly, and as his hand cupped my cheek gently, he kissed me back. I could feel him harden against the side of my thigh, and it was exhilarating to know my lips did that. I closed my eyes, lost in the kiss and the background moans, moving my tongue around his mouth, seeking something. I yanked his shirt out of his pants, wanting to feel his hard muscles. I felt his hot skin under the pads of my fingertips and continued up; his tight abs flexed under my hands as I inched closer to his heart. My hand felt hair, and I stopped kissing as I realized he wasn’t Jason.

  I squeezed my eyes tighter, telling myself I didn’t care it wasn’t Jason, even though I did. I didn’t have to initiate the kiss this time; Crew was in the zone. He kissed me with a certain urgency, like he couldn’t get enough of my mouth, but it was…off. The kiss was different. I wanted to feel more; I craved more. I wanted the sparks, the fireworks. I worked harder to reach the point that I needed, but nothing happened. I pulled back slightly disappointed and flashed him a nice smile. I stood up, and he got up slowly behind me. I hated myself in that moment. I hated that I used Crew to feel something, or not feel something. I looked away, disgusted with myself, and wiped the saliva, Crew’s saliva, off my mouth.

  I slipped my arm under his again and we moved further into the club. The noises changed from moaning to violent screams, and my grip tightened on Crew’s muscular arm. The rooms in this part of club were spread out and smaller. The space in the center was wide open, and a bar sat in the heart of it all. It was similar to the club I was in with Jason, except this club had a bigger bar area.

  Crew walked over to where more chairs were placed outside a bondage room for viewing. He took a seat and I eased into a padded folding chair next to him. I watched his face fall a little at the realization I wasn’t going to sit on his lap. The red velvety curtain to the area in front of us was opening, and more people gathered around. I only focused on the moving curtain and couldn’t believe how quiet it was, like my mind mentally blocked out all the background noise. The sharp sound of a whipped startled me. I felt myself literally leap into Crews arms, and what happened next…took my breath away.

  A blonde, slender lady with her arms strung above her head balanced on the tips of her toes. She had a blindfold on and something over her mouth resembling a ball with straps. Crew stiffened before he wrapped his arms tightly around me, suddenly overly protective. It was a horrifying scene; I covered my eyes as she was hit with something resembling a whip that had multiple tassels. The man hit her with force, and I could hear her screams through the mouthpiece. I buried my face in Crew’s chest, the sounds of her shrilling screams rattling around in my brain. Crew leaned in to me and whispered in my ear, “You want to leave?”

  I couldn’t speak. I inhaled deeply and sat back to take a longer look. The man had removed the mouth thing and she was screaming as each hard blow hit her. The man whispered things in her ear, and her mouth turned up in a flirtatious smile…and that was when my world stopped, and I realized who was hitting her.

  It was my father.

  He held a longer whip now in his right hand. He flicked his wrist, the look on his face chillingly, disturbing. It was the same look he gave me when he whipped me with a belt. I started to shake; I couldn’t breathe. The thought of me being here…and him being here while he lashed someone…it was overwhelming. What he did to me in the closet was private, no one else was supposed to ever know. His chest was bare and he wore black slacks. My vision blurred when I heard the familiar voice above everyone else’s, my father’s.

  “Girls need to be tough,” he spoke in-between strokes of his whip. “Are you tough, angel?” He called her angel and my stomach curdled. He never called me angel; he would always whisper that I was a troubled girl. Her screams tore me from my thoughts. Then, my father’s frightening voice echoed throughout the room, “Of course you’re tough, and you can take it.” I heard the horrific sound of the whip. “Take it…” he repeated over and over. “You’re a troublemaker and you’re going to take it.” The whipping and the screaming continued and I froze, unable to move, blinded by the sight of my father whipping…me. That was all I saw as my father flipped his wrist and the end of the whip bit into the flesh of the young blonde.

  A man stepped up behind my father and began undoing the straps holding the sobbing blonde. She collapsed in his arms, and then the man laid her on the table and used his hands to rub oil on her body, dipping his fingers deep inside her and ordering her to come. She did loudly, and then he rolled her on her stomach, massaged her back and ass, and then plunged his cock deep inside her, making her howl once again. He pumped her hard and steady. She came again, and I watched my father grab a towel, dry himself off, and reach for his crisp, white dress shirt. I stood on shaky legs and I watched him closely, my heart speeding up the moment his eyes found mine. I was thankful for my mask, hoping like hell it covered enough for him not to notice me.

  He stepped out of the room and into the viewing area, his angered blue eyes never leaving my sight as he followed my retreating steps. Crew shielded me from his incoming body.

  “What the fuck is she doing here? Who let her in? Katarina, please stop. I have to explain,” my father urged. My thundering heart was all I could hear after that, my whole body feeling each huge thump-thump…thump-thump…thump-thump. I paused only long enough to take my heels off, and placed them in front of me like weapons. Crew remained in-between my father and me. When I pivoted toward the two men, I heard my father’s low, enraged voice whispering to Crew, and that was when I took off. I ran, not sure where I was going, just knowing I needed to be anywhere but there. I pushed past people, attempting to duck and cover the entire way, and the moment I knew no one could see me, I sprinted. I darted down another dark hall. I didn’t hear anyone behind me, but I wasn’t stopping to check.

  I rounded yet another dark corner and was suddenly pushed into a dark room. I struggled against the strong arms that held me so tightly. I wanted to scream, but I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

  “Shhh, don’t be scared.” Whoever had me in a tight hold was moving to the corner of the room. My heart was uncontrollably pounding, almost beating out of my chest, and my vision was growing blurry. I had been so stupid, so very stupid. I was in a completely kink
y place with scary men and whips.

  “Please don’t hurt me,” I desperately managed to squeeze out.

  I heard commotion outside the door and I was torn. I didn’t know if I should run and yell, or if I should stay hidden. I thought about my father and shivered, wanting to bury myself further into the unknown man behind me. After a long silence between us, the man loosened his arms. He leaned his head in my neck and I felt his lips on me. I froze, unable to run, unable to even breathe.

  “I don’t like the dark. Please don’t hurt me.” My voice was so soft, barely a whisper. I normally would reserve this moment to numb my body, to mentally check out, but I was too frazzled and too freaked out to scream, to self-protect my body from harm.

  “I would never hurt you, Katarina.” My knees buckled at his words and I felt his arms tighten around me. It was Jason; he was here. Sadness invaded, and I was immediately too weak to run and hide. I started to cry, tears streaming down my cheek, toppling down my body like a spontaneous rainstorm, and then I started to whimper. His voice triggered the reaction, but his comfort and the way he continued to squeeze me made me break, causing all the pent-up, stuffed down emotion to rise to the surface and overflow.

  “Don’t cry, princess.” He scooped me in his arms and slid down the wall. “Don’t fucking cry.” I couldn’t stop. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him. He was my survival, and I held on for dear life. When my crying ceased, I relaxed in his arm suddenly angry, angry that I ever met him, and angry over how relieved I felt to be in his arms. Anger turned quickly to hate and bitterness, and my whole body was disgusted with the hope my heart held for him.

  “I hate that you made me feel things, things I never should have allowed myself to feel.” I took another deep breath, holding back a hiccup. I hit his chest, emphasizing every word. “My heart hurts so badly, and if I wasn’t broken before I met you…” I hesitated swallowing my sadness, “…I am now, and I hate you for that.” Another sob escaped my lips. “I kissed someone tonight, and I hate how guilty I feel. I hate that I forget what your lips taste like, and how they feel against mine.” I couldn’t stop the tears; my lip shivered and I couldn’t breathe, my throat clogging with emotion. My mind rushed back to my father. “I heard him say the words he used to say to me, and I hate him too. I hate him so much, Jason. I hope I never see him again. I wish pain on him.”

  I finished my rant, and Jason just held me tightly, repeating, “Shh, don’t cry.” I had already let go of what my father had done to me a long time ago. Why it was resurfacing, I had no idea. All I knew was the nothing I felt for my father had disappeared and the pain was once again as fresh as when I was six, and extremely raw.

  We stayed like that, curled together on the floor in complete and utter silence. He felt like heaven, and I missed him so much. His gentle voice broke the silence. “Katarina, what are you doing here?”

  Did we really have to talk? “I followed my father. He was inside.” I bit my lips together, thinking about the kissing I also did inside.

  “So you used my name to get in?”

  I pulled away from him, wondering how he knew that. My brain thought of all the things I did with Crew, wondering if he saw, if he freaking saw I had my tongue in some other man’s mouth. Nerves and anxiety coursed through my every cell and I laughed. I wasn’t sure why, but I laughed and it made me feel better.

  Jason squeezed his eyes shut and stood, carefully helping me to my feet. I wasn’t ready to leave him, so the moment my feet hit the ground, I grabbed his hand. The little bit of light in the room we were in reflected off his face, creating black shadows around his eyes. He appeared different, his hair longer, now shaggy, and he had facial hair, giving him a rugged lumberjack appearance. The hair was sexy, but his skin was pasty white and his eyes sunken in, as if he hadn’t slept in two weeks. I wanted to hold him close to me and make his world better, because he looked like misery…sexy misery.

  “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to laugh. Please…” It wasn’t that I was scared…well, maybe it was because I was scared, but for the first time, I liked the closed, locked door. I was terrified of what was waiting on the other side.

  “It’s okay, princess. I am not ready to let you go either.” He pulled me toward the door and leaned out, glancing down both ways. “We need a word, a word that’ll alert me you’re about to run.”

  “Nuts.” I smiled at my witty self, thinking of our walk from the waterfall, remembering nuts was my answer to one of his questions. Then, he tugged me along behind him. We stepped into another room, lights blazing. He closed the door behind us and led me to a bathroom located against the far wall. He reached in the cupboard and pulled out a towel. He let go of my hand to turn the faucet water on.

  “So, do you come here often?” They were the words I used during our first conversation, and then I giggled, because it was obvious he knew his way around, maneuvering like it was second nature.

  “Very funny, rabbit.”

  I scrunched up my nose, preferring he called me princess. I hated when he thought I was scared about anything. I wanted him to see me as brave. He ran the towel under the water and turned to me slowly. His hand lifted the towel to my face; he was studying my movements, as if he really saw me as a silly rabbit. “I’m not scared of you, Jason.” I looked at him through my lashes, mentally challenging him.

  “I’m just being cautious. Who knows what sets you off? One minute, you’re here; the next, you’ve vanished. Talk about magic tricks.” He didn’t address me with his eyes as he spoke, but I got what he was getting at; he was oh-so subtle.

  I grew defensive. “I said goodbye; I just didn’t tell you it wasn’t your home I was going to. Besides, you had your hands full with what’s-her-name…J-something.” I watched him carefully and he didn’t respond at all, and I wasn’t sure why, but it bothered me. “Did your revenge for your girlfriend pay off? Did it resolve all of your hurt and loss like you thought it would?”

  That was when it happened…he challenged me back. We were in a silent dual; he glared directly into my eyes, and his greens warned me not to continue on this path, but all I could think was, Why the hell not?

  “I didn’t lie to you,” I said as I held his stare. “I really loved you. That should be worth more points, right? If it was a game and you were keeping score, one point for if she feels it, and ten if she admits to it. At least, that’s how I would make it…if I was a game player.” He gritted his teeth and the sound caused me to rethink my words, but still, I taunted, “You shouldn’t clench your teeth; it could cause fractures and break them. It can also cause other conditions, like headaches, earaches, jaw pain…and it can wear your teeth down to nubs. And you know what they say?”

  His face was hard, and his jaw under his light beard flexed. He was turned on, and the thought made me blush and grin at the same time. I finished, “They’re jewels…not tools.” I ran my tongue over my teeth, showing off my jewels, and his right eye twitched. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t turned on. He threw the towel in the sink and stormed out of the bathroom. I picked up the towel, walking a few steps to toss it into the hamper. Moody man, he probably didn’t like the saying.

  “Are you done?”

  Okay, what? Was he kicking me out? His phone started ringing, and it broke the tension between us momentarily. “Yes,” he literally growled into the phone. His stare was fixated on me and I gave him a bright smile to lighten his mood. “Okay, thanks for your help,” he continued barking into the phone, and then finished his conversation with a few more words before he hung up.

  “You’re a busy man,” I stated. Thick silence pressed down on me. “Are you on duty?” I attempted a one-armed shrug, trying for casual talk after my emotional breakdown. I could tell by his harsh voice and his caveman stance that he was very annoyed with me.

  He stood there for a while in an eye lock with me before running his hands through his hair and looking around the room. I closed my eyes, feeling the waves of disappointment r
olling off him. When I squeezed them shut trying not to let his disappointment affect me, I saw visions of my father whipping the blonde, and then visions of him whipping me. His words, You’re a troublemaker, echoed in my head and I shivered.

  I shook myself, wanting the image and his voice to vanish. I was damaged by my thoughts. My skin crawled, and I was going to peel it off if I stood still any longer. My eyes popped open and I began slipping the red dress down my body until it pooled at my bare feet. My lacey panties were next, and I topped the pile with my stockings. I turned around, and Jason was inches from me observing everything I did. “What are you doing?” His eyes held lust, but I wasn’t quite there.

  “I want you to whip me. You do that, right? I can take it.” It was the only thing that made sense. Jason’s whipping would erase all the memories. He was my magical eraser.

  He laughed loudly, and it hurt more than anything else, more than the lying, more than the cheating; his laughter at that precise moment hurt like someone poured acid all over me. I used my arms to shield my chest and stood there. If there was a way I could leave, sneak out the door, and cower away unnoticed, I would have. I looked away, hating the game he was playing with me. He was a colossal asshole.

  When he stopped his laughing fit, I glanced back. He seemed bigger, stronger, and his long, intimidating stare made him feel like a stranger. Who was this man? His eyes roamed my entire body; his stance was powerful, and I could see his muscles flex in his upper arms as they remained crossed over his chest.

  “It doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to order what you want. You don’t get to order anything.” Jason’s voice was so large I almost didn’t recognize him for a second. My gaze dropped, and I felt like I was naked in front of my pediatrician. I started to count numbers in my head. I saw his feet approach me, but could no longer hear his voice over my numbers.