Forever Distraction

by Stephanie Jean

  Chapter Nineteen

  Doc

  Jason

  We arrived at the hospital, and similar to the day before, Katarina played with her skirt and straightened her blouse. She was immaculate from the top of her perfectly straight hair, all the way down to her bright pink nail polish. She wore a pale pink blouse that buttoned down the front and fit snug to her body, with a light, matching sweater; both complimented her gray skirt. She was polished and privileged, and if I didn’t know what I knew, I would think she relished in fine things, needed the fancy watch and clothes, but all Katarina needed was love. She could do without all of the added hoopla.

  My eyes fell back to her hair; two butterfly clips held strands away from her face. It was like even her hair knew where to fall, like it took instructions and followed them. I resisted the urge to touch her, smother her, because that’s what I wanted to do every time I knew she was going to go out in public looking…edible. Instead, I observed her, and I could feel the distance she was putting between us, but I couldn’t put a finger on the source.

  I reached out slowly and took her hand. My fingers slid in-between hers and I relished the feeling. She turned and peered at me through her long lashes, and I thought I saw fear. I studied her big blues for as long as she let me before she shifted toward the window. She was stalling, and I was not ready to force her out of the car. My door was now open and her bodyguards waited outside, but even though our hands were touching, she was somewhere else. I relaxed against the seat and waited, because she was always so patient with me. I needed to be that for her.

  Long moments later, her body shifted back and she relaxed against me. Her head continued to gaze out the dark window, and I took the opportunity to wrap my not-so-patient arms around her, pulling her closer. Her side now rested on my front, her tiny body snuggling into mine. She fit so perfectly, just like a puzzle piece. I leaned in to get a smell, kissed her exposed shoulder, and I waited. I’m not sure what I waited for, but right now, she needed me to wait. I heard a small whisper from her mouth.

  “My grandfather spoke in riddles and rhymes, and gave advice through sayings and idioms.” She sighed and then continued, “Like he’d say, ‘Accept someone for who they are, not who you want them to be.’”

  I listened, wondering about all the hidden meanings in what she just said, and then I kissed her shoulder. “Who do you want me to be?”

  She pulled away quickly, like someone just poured cold water all over her. Her eyes flickered all over my face. “Never mind,” she shook her head, “it has nothing to do with you. I’m just confused.” She tried to get off my lap, but my arms were wrapped tight.

  “So, are you asking if I believe the saying?” I enquired, but she remained stiff in my arms. “As far as sayings go, it’s a good one. You can accept them, but you don’t have to like them.” She was quiet and her heart was rapidly beating; I could feel it against my body. “The sayings I don’t like are the ones used for people to be lazy, like, ‘It wasn’t meant to be’. That one pisses me off when I hear it. Or, ‘It is what it is’.”

  She giggled and my face smiled a small victory. “My grandfather would like you…a lot.” Her words gave me comfort beyond belief. Her grandfather was her favorite person, and for her to tell me he would approve of me was huge.

  “I am glad you think so.” She pulled away slightly and gazed into my eyes and then ran her hands up to the sides of my face to hold me still.

  “You are perfect for me, but sometimes I wonder why you chose me.” She kissed me after that, not allowing me to respond. It was weird how she insinuated I was too good for her, when she was the one who was obviously too good for me, and everyone around us knew it. I let her kiss me; I knew it was part of her avoidance, and I also knew she was aware of how deeply I felt for her. She rested her head on my chest when she finished. “I wanted a different family when I grew up. I never accepted them for who they were. I just woke up one day and hated them. I hated them until I didn’t feel anything at all for them. The crappy thing was…I always wanted them to accept me, accept me for who I was and not for whom they wanted me to be. I think you would like them, even though I…”

  I stopped listening after that as she spoke nonsense; of course I wouldn’t like them. She must not have remembered a couple nights ago when she cried in my arms about her father, who beat her with a belt. Katarina was clearly going delusional, and it was something about the hospital we were sitting outside of. “Let’s go see Crew, princess, and then leave. I’ll be by your side.”

  I moved to the opened door, not giving her a chance to deny me. She was insecure and questioning her past, a past she had no control over. She was clearly the victim, but in her head, she was just as at-fault as her parents. I told myself if I got my hands on the people who fucked with her head; they would get what was coming to them. I set her down when I got out of the car and weaved my fingers through hers as we journeyed to Crew’s hospital room. She kept her head down like the day before, her hand gripped tightly in mine, and I felt protective.

  I don’t know what I thought would happen in a hospital, but my blood was pumping faster, and my eyes were aware of all the movement around us. It was as if all five senses were on alert. When we reached the door, Owen went in with her and I stood outside the door, making sure she wasn’t interrupted. Crew was awake, but couldn’t seem to remember anything.

  Katarina arranged for him to return to Seattle with his family in a couple days. This was her last visit to him in the hospital. I wanted her to take her time. She was racked with guilt, and I knew rushing her would only amplify that feeling. I nodded at her other bodyguard, who stood at the door to Crew’s room, and I walked down the hall to the waiting room in search of coffee. The coffee was nasty, like they attempted to cover the real taste with syrup. I sipped it down, hoping like hell I would receive magical energy from it.

  “Romeo.” I glanced around knowing there was only a handful of people who called me that. It was my nickname at the club when I was young, underage, a name given to me by a man who was like a father to me. He taught me everything I knew about my lifestyle in the club. I was lost when I met him, but he put my focus in check and helped me be better—perfect, actually. I was a perfect Dominant because of him. He called me Romeo, because I could get any woman; it was simple for me. The other stuff—the bondage and disciplining—helped to relieve pent-up aggression, and it came naturally.

  I turned and smiled as Doc approached me. I saw him a couple days ago, but I never got a chance to say hi. “I didn’t know you were in town,” he said with a grin.

  He stuck his hand out, and I threw my hand in his eagerly. “I have only been here a week.” I replied. I shrugged and caught his eyes as they scanned around for something. He was looking for someone.

  “We should have a drink and catch up,” he suggested as his eyes met mine, and I remembered the first time I ever drank whiskey. My addiction to fine whiskey had been thanks to him.

  “I am leaving today,” I told him, “but next time. I thought about calling when I got into town, but…” I trailed off, and I looked over at the movement coming my way; it was Doc’s wife. I hadn’t seen her in a while, but the presence she brought into a room was jaw dropping. I held it together though, but completely forgot what I was about to say. I’d never talked to her; Doc wouldn’t let me, and the look she gave me stunned me quiet anyway. Her face was always stoic, and her blue eyes held authority. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen her smile. I didn’t even know her name, but there was something about her intimidation that to got me, made me want to pounce on her just to remind her I was a Dom and she should yield to me.

  I reminded myself it was Doc’s wife and turned my focus back to him. “I’m here with my girl. I should check on her.”

  He studied me. “Is she staying here? Shit, Romeo, I will make sure she’s getting the best treatment. Why didn’t you say anything?” Doc’s eyes locked with mine and I felt like the small boy I was when I met him, and
once again, he was taking me under his wing. I caught movement and jerked my head over to see another doctor wearing a white lab jacket. He moved in close to Doc’s wife, and I saw traces of Doc in him. Interesting…Doc had a son.

  He was always so intense, and the thought of him with a son made me cringe. I always thought he watched out for me because he didn’t have any children of his own. He was a father figure at the club, but didn’t allow for mistakes or excuses, and errors were flat out not acceptable. I valued his teaching skills, but I was grown when I met him and looked to him in a hero-worship way. Mini Doc started to talk, pointing down the hall as he did.

  Doc turned back to me. “I have to go, but if you would give me a call, I will take care of your girl,” he smiled sincerely and then he finished, “like she’s my own.”

  I nodded before he stepped away from me. “Thanks, Doc.” My eyes drifted to his wife, catching her stare, and I flashed her a teasing smile. Like what you see? I wondered if she ever talked and what her voice sounded like. She was pretty in a porcelain doll kind of way, like you’d just want to stick her on a shelf, stare at those powerful blue eyes, and not touch a hair on that black head of hair. I’m curious why she held my stare for so long, and I wondered if she was battling with something. I was also curious who the winner of our staring competition was going to be. I broke my stare, feeling intense eyes on me.

  Katarina stood about five feet from me, her mouth hanging open, and I’m not sure why, but I didn’t get the feeling she wanted me to put my dick in it. It was more of a shocked and horrified kind of stare. Doc walked up behind her, gripped her upper arm, and whispered in her ear. I watched as she attempted to jerk her arm out of his hold.

  I froze in my spot as I looked between Doc’s wife and my princess, seeing the stunning resemblance. Everything came flooding into my brain at once. Holy fuck! Instinct kicked in as I realized my hero was Katarina’s abusive father. I decided then, right then, Katarina would never see him or versions of him through my actions. Ever. “Don’t touch her!” The threating words left my lips in a loud growl, drawing attention from all the hospital staff.

  Doc looked up at me in confusion, but didn’t release her. “Romeo?” His voice and the look on his face begged me to stand down, but he didn’t know. He didn’t know Katarina was mine now, and he no longer had any claim to her, not even her fucking arm he had in his greedy hand.

  “I will fucking kill you in front of everyone right now if you don’t let her go,” I said in a scarily calm voice I didn’t even recognize as my own. It was funny how life was. He always seemed so big, so all-powerful, but now, as I narrowed my eyes at him, not in warning, but as a promise, he was weak and scrawny. His hand gradually released his hold on her arm and I stepped in front of her, sweeping her behind me. My body shielded hers from her family; my fist curled as visions of black and blue marks on Katarina’s body came flashing to me. Her hands reached around and she hugged my stomach, and it only made me angrier. Owen stepped in front of me, stealing my heated gaze toward Doc.

  “We need to leave; security has been called. This isn’t the place, Jason.” Owen’s eyes filled with understanding, so I trusted him. I turned, unable to see Doc, so my glare was for his wife and the other man who was close by as I picked Katarina up. It was clear to him and everyone as I cradled her in my arms that she was mine. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I carried her out, her bodyguard leading the way.

  ****

  Katarina

  He knew them. I watched the way he shook my father’s hand and the way he ogled my mother’s beauty. It hurt me in ways I couldn’t describe to know he liked them. All I could think when he was talking to them and I hugged him from behind was, I hope he chooses me. He swept me into his arms before he left, and that was when I allowed myself to be hurt, to be angry. I gazed over his shoulder as Jason tore from the hospital and noticed the stunned disbelief on everyone’s faces, including my mother’s.

  “Don’t go with him, Katarina,” my father warned. “He’s like me. I know. He was my student, I taught him everything.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut battling with his words. “You knew him,” I whispered into Jason’s ear. “You liked him,” anger grew inside me like a hungry bear feeding on all my insecurities, “and her? Did you have her?” I pushed from him as he entered the elevators, because this was the point I ran, and right now, I wanted to run.

  The elevator was silent other than my grunts of frustration because he wouldn’t let me loose. “I didn’t sleep with your mother. He’s very protective of her.” I stalled for a moment, listening, waiting for the warm and fuzzies to come from his mouth, but nothing happened. He never made me feel more wanted or more cherished with his words, so I began hitting him with my balled up fists on his chest and back. I used my feet to kick my way out of his hold, but he never relented, his arms like thick chains around me.

  “Let me go,” I hissed.

  The elevator door opened and he stepped over the threshold, following my two bodyguards and speaking as if he was annoyed through gritted teeth. “Never.”

  “Why did he call you Romeo? Why did he call you anything?” I asked with my own fueled irritation.

  “You know why,” he snapped, and I did; it was the domination club. He worshipped my father like everyone else, and the Romeo comment had something to do with the line of awaiting women. Ugh, I thought I was going to be sick. How could he not have known? I look like them.

  “Don’t you think it’s odd I look just like her?” The bitter sound the words made as they slipped from my lips had me shivering. I sounded identical to my mother. But seriously, how couldn’t he have known?

  “When I look at you,” he paused and his soft eyes found mine, “I don’t see her.” He shifted his eyes back to the path in front of him and I was confused. He didn’t appear as furious as he sounded. In fact, I saw conflicting things—comfort, love, and torment. I laid my head on his chest, wondering what was going on behind his emerald eyes.

  ****

  Jason

  We reached the car; Owen slipped in the back seat with us and I struggled with setting her in the seat next to me. Instead, I held her tightly thinking about Doc’s strength and his need for perfection. So many pieces of the puzzle fell into place and I couldn’t let her go. She was mine and he hurt her. The car started to move and my eyes snapped to Owen’s; anger was written all over his face. I wondered what he knew about the abuse. “Princess, I just want to be absolutely fucking clear—was that your father?” It was a simple question and something that was obvious, but I needed to hear her say it. I needed to process it while holding onto her.

  “Yes,” she breathed.

  “He’s the monster in your dreams, the reason you are scared of the closet.”

  She jerked away from me and eyed me with a mixture of stunned confusion and embarrassment, like she couldn’t believe I knew. Her blues shifted to Owen and then back to me. “Yes.” It was clear and loud, and fuck if she wasn’t holding her chin high so she wouldn’t appear weak.

  “Who else? I want a list. Who are the monsters in your dreams?” I demanded. Her eyes widened and she glanced at Owen, and I knew she didn’t want him to know. She pushed away from me, but I wasn’t going to back down on this. I grabbed her chin between my thumb and my forefinger and waited until her wide blue eyes met mine. “Look at me, not Owen, just me.”

  “Dr. Holtin.” Her voice was soft, like she was ashamed. Who the fuck was Holtin? Was it Thomas Holtin, the asshole from last night’s party?

  Owen’s voice broke the silence this time. “That’s the guy who examined you at the hospital the first day you were back. He gave you the ‘thorough exam’, the same man who gave you a birth control shot.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. There were two people I was going to maim. I fisted her hair in my hand and stared directly into her eyes. “Did he touch you,” I swallowed, looking for a nice way to put it, “inappropriately?” Her eyes closed and I squeezed my fist, tighte
ning my hold further. Her eyes popped open and she licked her lips slowly. “Did you say no—no to the shot, no to the examination?”

  Her innocent eyes glazed over and I knew I wasn’t going to get any information. “Anyone else, princess?” I gave her a moment; I could see nervousness in her fidgety hand movements and I brought her face to mine again, attempting to calm her. “It’s going to be okay.” I lightened my hold on her hair, weaving my fingers into the soft hair at the back of her head in a coaxing way. “You are mine. I need to know who hurt what’s mine.”

  She responded immediately to this, her blue eyes turning vulnerable as she shook her head. “That’s it, no other demons.” I swallowed the large lump in my throat and kissed her forehead. Mine. “I know Owen, Jason; he will kill the men who hurt me,” she whispered, and I gave her a huge, smug grin. She had no idea how safe she was now.

  “Yes, Katarina, there’s no need to worry about monsters anymore. We’ll take care of everything.” I pulled her close and tucked her head into my neck.

  “No, Jason, you can’t kill anyone. You have to promise. You believe in God, and if you kill someone, you’ll go to hell. Please, promise.”

  I gritted my teeth and squeezed her tight. “I can’t promise…yet. Give me time; right now, I want the people who hurt you to pay a price.” My heart resonated in my chest, her hand moved over it, and I watched the pad of her finger tap to the beat. It was both hypnotizing and calming.

  “Jared gave me something. He said it would ‘rock the boat’. It was his apology for what happened between us.”

  What? “When did you see Jared?” I questioned. Her body stirred and I knew it was to check on Owen, so I held her snug, not allowing her to budge from her spot.