by Bec Botefuhr
“Sierra, I have to go. Quinn is here ok? I love you…”
Then I hear some faint talking before the front door closes. He went to work. He left me here for work. I feel more tears stream down my face. I was fooling myself to ever believe I could fit. I hear a faint knock on the door and then Quinn’s voice fills the room.
“Baby girl, open up.”
I let my knees go and crawl over to the door, unlocking it. Quinn opens it carefully and when he sees me sitting pitifully on the floor, his face softens and he lowers down to his knees.
“Oh, baby girl, why didn’t you tell me?”
I begin sobbing loudly and Quinn wraps his arms around me, pulling me to his chest.
“I was ashamed!”
“Who did that to you, Sierra, was it Ben?”
I nod into his chest.
“Jesus, Sierra, you should have reported him. Why didn’t you tell someone?”
“I was ashamed. I let him tie me up, Quinn. I let him do those things and one day he took it too far.”
“It doesn’t matter, he should have been reported.”
“I…I…I don’t know what to do. How can I possibly recover from this?”
“You will, baby girl. Marcus will fix this.”
I close my eyes and my tears drench his shirt.
“I am leaving him.”
“Sierra…why?”
“I can’t be this girl. I can’t be second best. He knew about Chayne. He knew she would hurt me. He left me just now to go to work. He didn’t even try to barge in and help me. He is holding back. I know he’s trying to protect me. I am the one who let him have me back and I shouldn’t have. I should have left it. I should have let him take the time to end things properly with Chayne and this never would have happened. It’s my fault Ben was even at the White House yesterday. This could ruin Marcus, and it’s all my fault. I can’t do it to him…or me.”
“Oh, Sierra.”
“Please don’t try to change my mind. I want you to…Quinn…I want you to take me home.”
“To the University?”
“No, to my parents’ house.”
“Are you sure…”
“I can’t show my face at school again. How can I?”
“You’re in your final year. If you quit now…”
“I’ll talk to the professor about finishing at another school. I can’t go back.”
He’s silent a moment. “I’ll help you. I will go and get your things and tell the professor what happened, tell him to call you. But, Sierra, you need to tell Marcus.”
I hiccup and my chest clenches painfully. “How can I tell him it’s over Quinn? I…can’t…”
“You have to. It’s not fair that you just leave. He deserves you to talk to him…”
I nod and pull away, wiping my face. “I’ll call him while you’re gone.”
He stands, pulling me to my feet. He swipes a strand of damp hair from my eyes. “I’ll go and get your things and be back soon.”
I nod and he kisses my cheek before leaving. When I gather the courage, I step out into the lounge and find my phone. My heart hurts, it truly aches at the thought of having to tell Marcus I’m leaving. What else can I do? This is the best choice for me…and him. I can’t let his career be ruined over me. He’s always told me how hard he’s worked. I can’t do that to him. I won’t do that to him. I pick up my phone and see the dozens and dozens of missed calls from my family. I sigh and dial my mom back first, I guess she will want answers and I don’t know how to give them to her right now.
“Sierra!” she cries when she answers.
“Momma,” I sob.
“Oh baby. Why? Why didn’t you tell me what happened to you?”
“I was ashamed of myself for letting him…”
“Who did it, Sierra. You tell me. Who hurt my baby and…”
“I will talk to you about it soon, I promise. I’m coming home.”
“Oh baby, of course.”
“I’m leaving Marcus.”
“Oh…Sierra…”
“I just wanted you to know, I’ll be there in a few hours.”
“I will be waiting for you, baby, I’m so sorry.”
“I know, momma. I’ll see you soon ok?”
“Drive safe, my sweet.”
I hang up and my hand trembles as I dial Marcus. He answers on the second ring and hearing his voice tears me to pieces inside.
“Sierra, baby, are you ok?”
“Marcus…I…I don’t know how to do this to you and I’m so sorry but…I’m leaving.”
“What?” His voice is ragged, but soft.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do it to myself or to you. I can’t have your career and life ruined because of me and I can’t be the girl that stole a taken man. I just can’t. I’m sorry. I love you. I hope you know that, but we were both fooling ourselves thinking this would ever work.”
“Sierra, don’t do this to me. Don’t fucking leave me. God dammit, Sierra…”
“I’m sorry.”
I pull the phone from my ear at the sound of his pained bellow. I click it off and drop to my knees, screaming and gripping myself. God…what…what have I done?
~*~*~*~*
MARCUS
“Get my car!” I roar, running down the halls.
Rose is rushing towards me, but when I yell, she pulls out her phone and dials.
“Marcus needs a ride, be out front.”
She hangs up and stares at me as I run towards the exit.
“Sir, are you ok?”
“She’s running, she’s going to run.”
“Sierra?”
“I have to get to her.”
“Go, sir, I’ll have everything covered here.”
I rush out the front doors and into the car waiting. I tell him to step on it and get back to my place as fast as he can. Half an hour, it will take me half an hour. God please let her be there. I open my phone and I dial her number. She doesn’t answer. Cursing I slam the phone down onto the chair. She’s leaving me. She can’t fucking leave me. Not now. Not after everything. I shouldn’t have left her this morning. Fuck, I should have stayed. I should have shown her she is more important than any job I’ll ever have but I left her alone.
The half an hour it takes to get home, is the longest drive in the history of my existence. When we pull up at my apartment, I don’t see Quinn’s car. I feel fucking sick. I take the elevator and run the rest of the way. When I get to my apartment, I swing the door open. I know as soon as I step in that she’s not here. The lights are out. Her things are gone. I hear my own pained bellow as I drop to my knees and grip my hair. I’ve fucking lost her. She’s gone. Fuck, what have I done? I should have fucking destroyed Chayne when I had the chance. Now I’ve lost everything because of her and Benjamin Ford.
With a heaving chest and a head full of revenge, I pull out my phone and I dial the reporter who fucked this up for us. When he answers, I bark into the phone, “You want a story you little weasel, I have a fucking story for you. The person who abused Sierra Walters, was Benjamin Ford. How about you write about that!”
Then I slam the phone closed. If they want to play, well fuck, I’ll play.
CHAPTER 13
SIERRA
“Oh baby,” my mother says, pulling me into her arms when I step out of Quinn’s car.
I wrap myself around her, breathing her in and letting my tears fall once more.
“It hurts, momma.”
“I know it does, I know. Come on, let’s get you inside.”
She smiles up at Quinn and he returns the smile, before following us inside. Jayelle comes rushing down the stairs when we come in.
“Oh Sierra!”
She pulls me from mom’s arms and wraps me in hers, stroking my hair and soothing me.
“We’ve got you. No one will hurt you here.”
“Come, sit, I’ll make some tea.”
My mother rushes off into the kitchen and Quinn sits on the couch beside me,
Jayelle on the other side. They both take my hands and we sit in silence for a long, long moment.
“Has he tried to call?” Quinn asks.
“He hasn’t stopped,” I whisper.
The pain in my chest is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before in my life. I can’t even begin to explain the agony of having to let someone go. He was everything…every damned thing and I let him go. It’s for the best, I have to keep telling myself that because if I don’t, I’ll never move on. I have to believe he’s better off without me. I have to.
“He’ll come to you, Sierra. He won’t just let this end.”
“I don’t know,” I say in a small voice. “I think he will just let it end.”
“He loves you.”
“He loves his job, too.” I point out.
We all fall silent again. What is there to say to that? You don’t have a job like Marcus Harrison’s and just give it away. Not for love. Not for anything. Love could end, things can go wrong. It would take a whole lot more than love to give up a career like his. I always knew that, deep down, I always knew I would come second and I think part of me was willing to accept that until this morning. Until I realized that I could cause more damage to Marcus, than he could to me. I didn’t want to do that, not to someone so beautiful.
“Here, love.”
My mother hands me a cup of tea and I wrap my hands around the cup, warming them.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jayelle whispers.
“How could I? I was ashamed that I let him do it.”
“Was it Ben?” My mother asks.
I nod, swallowing. “Yes.”
“He abused you, and got away with it scott free and then he…he…encouraged that reporter. Did they get the pictures from him? Did he give them over?”
“No, he didn’t have pictures. I don’t know where he got the pictures.”
“He should be reported for this…” my mother cries.
“How do we report him for something that we can’t prove he did?”
“He let those reporters know where the pictures were…”
“We can’t prove that,” I say, feeling my frustration building.
“Why didn’t you report him to the police?” Mom says, almost angrily.
“I was ashamed of myself, ok?” I cry, standing. “I was ashamed of what I let him do. I know I should have told them it was him, but I didn’t and now I’m paying for it. So can we just drop this? I didn’t come home for a god damned lecture, I came home because I’m hurting. I’m going to bed, I can’t deal with this.”
“Sierra!” My mother cries.
“Later, ok? I need to rest.” I say in a softer voice.
I walk to my room, not looking back. When I get in, I wrap my arms around myself and steadily breathe. I can get through this. The pain will go away. It has to go away. God, please let it go away. I hear a soft knock on my door and Quinn steps in.
“I have to go honey, I have finals.”
Finals? What date is it? Have I been that wrapped up I completely missed his final dates.
“Already?” I say, rubbing my head.
“Yeah, it’s the twenty fourth today.”
“What?”
“Jesus ,Sierra, don’t you even keep up with the date.”
Twenty fourth. Twenty fourth. No…oh no.
“Sierra?”
Think Sierra, think back to last month. Oh no. No no. Overdue. I’m…I’m…late.
“Oh god,” I say in a strangled tone.
“What is it?” Quinn says, rushing over.
“Quinn…I’m…I’m…late.”
“Late? What for…oh…oh shit.”
“Oh god, no, please don’t let this happen. This can’t be happening.”
“How late?”
“Only a few days, but I’m always so regular.”
“Ok, don’t stress. Maybe it’s just a stress thing. You have been really stressed lately. Don’t panic.”
“Quinn, this can’t happen to me. I’m on protection and…”
“Sierra, what?”
“Oh god…”
“WHAT?!”
“I got sick, I got really sick remember? I was throwing up really badly and…I think I missed my pill for those few days.”
“Oh no, Sierra…”
“What am I going to do, Quinn?” I wail, panicking.
“Just breathe, hey, breathe. It’s probably nothing.”
“Nothing?!” I yell loudly. “Nothing?”
“Calm down girl, come on. You can deal with this. I am going to get Jayelle and she’s going to go get you a test because I have to go. You’re going to take it calmly, then you’re going to deal with the result in the same way. We’re all here for you, no matter what happens.”
“Oh god, oh god…”
“Sierra…”
“Oh god…”
“Jayelle?” Quinn yells. “Can we get you up here for a minute?”
“Coming!”
A moment later my sister steps into the room.
“What’s happening?” she says, rushing over and sitting by my side. “Sierra, what’s wrong.”
“She thinks she’s pregnant.”
“Just come right out with it, Quinn!” I cry.
“Well, we need to get to the damned point so we can sort it out.” He yells at me. Then turns to my sister. “Jayelle, I have to go, you need to go and get a test for her.”
Jayelle is silent a moment. “Well shit.”
“That about covers it,” I wail.
“We’re going to deal with it, it’s ok. I’m going to go and get you a test right now.” Jayelle says, standing.
She rushes out the door like a mad woman. I begin sobbing loudly again. Quinn wraps his arms around me and soothes me until I calm down.
