Beyond These Walls (The Walls Duet #2)

by J. L. Berg

  I grinned mischievously. “Zebe.”

  “No!” She laughed, shaking her head.

  “Billy Bob?”

  Laughter turned into cackling as I flipped her over on the couch beneath me.

  “You don’t like my names?”

  “Hate them. Try again.”

  “Could I turn this into a game?”

  “You and games. What do you have in mind?” she questioned.

  “Every good name gets me an article of clothing?”

  “You’re on.”

  I had her naked in two minutes flat.

  “WAKE UP.” JUDE nudged me.

  My eyes fluttered open. “No.” I pouted, pulling the covers back over my head in protest.

  “Please?” His hands reached under the sheets, pulling me to him.

  I opened my eyes again, focusing on his beaming smile. “Don’t want to.”

  He laughed, his forehead resting against mine, as his sneaky fingers began to wander across my stomach.

  “I’m a college student. We’re not supposed to wake up before noon. It’s a rule.”

  “Angel?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You took a year off, remember?”

  “Oh,” I answered, slumping back on the pillow.

  “That means it’s time to get up!” he exclaimed, slapping my ass.

  I yelped as he stole the comforter from the bed, leaving me in nothing but a sheet to keep me warm.

  “What are we getting up for anyway? It’s not like either of us has jobs.”

  “I have a job. It’s just very far away,” he reminded me with a grin.

  A twinge of guilt tried to worm its way into my stomach, knowing that he’d taken an entire year away from the company for me, but I pushed it away. I’d taken a year off of school. We’d both made adjustments for this.

  We had to.

  “That doesn’t answer my question,” I reminded him, sitting up to stretch.

  “We are going out.”

  “Out? That’s vague. Care to be a little more specific?”

  “We’re going to Disneyland.”

  That got my attention. “What?”

  “Disneyland,” he repeated. “The happiest place on earth. Mickey? Minnie? Any of this ringing a bell?”

  “I know what it is, dork! I just don’t know why you’ve suddenly decided to go,” I said, looking around, trying to remember what day it was.

  Tuesday! It was a Tuesday!

  “On a random Tuesday,” I finished.

  He smiled as he finished putting on his shoes and came to join me on the bed since I still refused to relinquish my warm spot.

  “Like you so eloquently stated, neither of us has jobs or school. There are only so many movies I can watch before my brain turns into mush. As lovely as this house is, I’m getting cabin fever, Lailah. We need to get out, and as long as the doctor keeps giving you the thumbs-up, I think we should do just that.”

  I gave him a suspicious look. “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with my Someday List, would it?”

  His eyes softened. “Do you remember how sad you were that last day of our honeymoon? How you wished we could have more time together just like that?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, we have it now. It might not be exactly the same, but it’s time nonetheless. And I figured if we’ve been given this uninterrupted time together, where I’m not being called away to meetings and you don’t have tests to study for, we should make the most of it.”

  “By taking me to Disneyland?” I questioned.

  “By fulfilling as many of those wishes on that list as possible,” he replied.

  Because who knows how much time we have?

  It wasn’t said, but I could see it there, dangling in the air between us. Neither of us wanted to acknowledge the possibility of what could happen if things went badly with my pregnancy, but if they did, he knew we should spend the days leading up to that moment to the fullest.

  “Disneyland it is,” I said. “But I want Minnie Mouse ears.”

  His smile grew. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

  I’d lived in Southern California for the majority of my life, and I’d never been to Disneyland.

  I never knew it was so big.

  People seemed to be everywhere, but we were actually told park attendance was low due to the middle of the week and time of year.

  I’d hate to see it during the summer.

  “What do you want to do first?” I asked excitedly as I looked around in every direction like a gleeful child.

  “This is your day, but we need to go to one place first. Come on,” he said, pulling me toward a row of stores.

  I laughed when we ended up in front of The Mad Hatter.

  “Minnie ears?” I asked.

  “Yep, let’s go in,” he said, taking my hand.

  We stepped in and made our way to the many rows of ears I could choose from.

  “Okay, wow. I had no idea this would be so difficult.”

  “I think you should get the ones with sequins,” a familiar little voice said.

  I turned to see a young girl beaming up at me. Her eyes widened in excitement the moment she saw me, and she threw her arms around my waist.

  “Abigail!” I cried out. “Oh my gosh! How are you here? Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in school?”

  “We had a teacher workday today, and I have a season pass. Plus a certain someone mentioned you might be here today,” she smiled.

  I looked up to see her mom standing nearby speaking with Jude. We exchanged waves as I mouthed, Thank you.

  She nodded, smiling.

  “I can’t believe you’re here!” I said, squeezing her tighter.

  “Isn’t it going to be great? An entire day together! And I can’t believe you’ve never been here. I’m going to take you everywhere, and we’re going to ride every single ride!”

  Jude coughed a bit, getting our attention as he joined back in the conversation. “Maybe not every ride?” he suggested.

  “Oh, right.” She blushed, looking down at my midsection. “Well, most of them,” she amended.

  To outsiders, I still looked like regular old me. But at nearly three months, when I stared at myself in the mirror, I’d begun to notice the changes, the tiny bulge beginning to form. I’d cup my hand over it, cradling that little bump, hoping it knew I was there, cherishing it.

  I grinned down at her. “Want to pick out ears with me?”

  “Sure!” she answered cheerfully. “Let me just say bye to my mom.” She skipped cheerfully over to her mom, giving her a hug and kiss.

  “I’ll meet you back here around five?” her mother confirmed with Jude.

  He nodded, and they chitchatted a bit more before she headed out.

  “This was a very nice thing you did,” I said quietly to Jude as Abigail looked through the hats.

  “I knew you missed her.”

  Smiling, I watched her pick up a set of ears with a princess crown. I laughed. “I did—so much.”

  In the end, Abigail ended up with a sequined set of ears, and after much convincing, both Jude and I walked out of the shop wearing matching bride and groom ears.

  We had been Disney-fied to the max.

  Abigail had been coming to Disneyland since she was barely able to walk, so she knew the park inside and out. It was like having our own personal tour guide as we strolled down Main Street, looking inside the various shops stuffed full of Disney merchandise.

  “Where do you want to go first?” she asked happily, holding my hand.

  “How about you pick?” I suggested, not even having a clue where to begin.

  “Okay!” She tugged us both to the left through crowds of people standing around, taking pictures of Cinderella’s castle.

  We continued through the park, walking past the Jungle Cruise and the Indiana Jones Adventure ride.

  “This is my favorite ride in the park,” she announced as we came to the front entrance of th
e Pirates of the Caribbean attraction.

  Her eyes shifted to Jude. “But it has a bit of a fast part. Do you think she’ll be okay?”

  He smiled, grabbing my hand, and he brought it to his lips. “Yeah, I think she’ll be just fine on this one.”

  We quickly moved through the line, waiting only about ten minutes, before the three of us stepped into a boat. We wedged Abigail in between us as Jude rested his arm across the back of both of us.

  “Do you think I can count this as a roller coaster, so I can scratch off number ten?” I asked.

  The attendant pushed the lever to release our boat into the dark water.

  “It’s your list.” Jude shrugged.

  “Good,” I answered, smiling. “Number ten—done.”

  Abigail pointed to the right where several people were dining nearby under twinkling lights. “That’s the Blue Bayou,” she said. “My mom took me there for my tenth birthday, and we sat right by the water and watched everyone float by. I waved.” She giggled as she did just that—waved at all the people as they ate.

  We passed by the restaurant, and the mood of the ride turned somber.

  The music became haunting, and Abigail grabbed my hand. “Are you ready?”

  “Ready for wha—”

  I screamed as our boat sped down a steep cliff into the caves below. Abigail’s laughter sounded in my ear as my shrieks died off, and I joined her.

  “Oh my gosh! That was fantastic!” I looked over at Jude.

  He was watching me with a happy warm glow. Even in his ridiculous Mickey ears, he was still the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

  The ears might actually have made him even sexier.

  I could see why Pirates of the Caribbean—or “Pirates,” as Abigail liked to call it—was her all-time favorite. It had everything—thrills, catchy songs, dancing pirates, and even a dash of fright.

  I wasn’t sure how she was going to top that, but she did. We went from Pirates to the Haunted Mansion, and once again, I found myself laughing hysterically throughout. Even It’s a Small World captivated me . . . until I found myself singing the song four hours later.

  It really was a hard song to get out of your head.

  After several rides, we decided lunch was in order, and we took a break. As Abigail and I rested our feet at an outdoor table, Jude grabbed burgers and fries for everyone.

  “So, tell me about you,” I said. “What have you been up to? Are you still writing? Reading? Or have boys taken up all your time now?”

  She giggled, rolling her eyes. “I still write. I don’t think I could stop now. It’s something my grandfather is very proud of. He brags about me to all his author friends, says he passed down his talent or something like that.” She shrugged.

  “He must think you’re good at it.”

  “I just do it because I like it, not because I want anyone to praise me.”

  “Isn’t that the best reason to do anything? Because you enjoy doing it?”

  She nodded, her feet swinging back and forth on the bench. “Yeah, it is. So, what about you? Do you still write in your journal?”

  I thought back to the days in the hospital when Abigail used to visit me. I’d been vigilant about keeping a journal. In a way, it was my one constant companion. When stuck in a hospital, never knowing if I’d be staying or going, it had been hard to keep friends. That journal had been the one place I could turn to when I needed to purge my emotions. But when I’d left, I guessed I didn’t need it as much.

  “No, not much anymore,” I answered.

  “Maybe you should start again,” she suggested.

  My hand went to my stomach, and my fingers stretched lightly over my tiny baby bump. “Yeah, maybe I should.”

  This baby had brought Jude and me home, back to where it had all started. We’d reconnected with old friends and family, and now, maybe it was time for me to reconnect with the old part of me I’d so desperately tried to let go of when I walked out of that hospital two years ago.

  Maybe there was still something I could learn from that naive young girl who had given all her thoughts to a journal.

  “GOD, LAILAH . . . ANYTHING but that one. Please?” I begged.

  She smiled up at me from her spot on the sofa. A soft chenille blanket was draped over her now rounded stomach as she glanced down at the tattered old composition book that held the one-hundred-forty-three dreams and wishes on her Someday List.

  “You told me to pick whichever one I wanted,” she reminded me. “And I choose this one.” Her finger tapped the page, signifying the end of our calm existence as I knew it.

  I groaned.

  “A puppy? Really? You want to adopt a puppy . . . now? Can’t we just do something easy, like rake leaves?”

  She gave me a doubtful look and laughed. “First of all, we’re in California . . . in the springtime. Do you see any leaves, genius?”

  My lips curved into a grin at her sarcasm.

  “Secondly, I don’t see why now isn’t the perfect time to get a puppy. It will give us great practice for the baby.” She shrugged, placing a hand on her belly. She’d successfully transitioned into her second trimester with little fuss and fanfare.

  Well into her fourth month, the pregnancy was going well—too well.

  It made me antsy, nervous.

  “You want to practice your parenting skills on a puppy? How is that the same?” I argued, knowing it was completely pointless.

  “Well, they’re both tiny and require constant care and love. And I thought a dog might keep me company when you’re gone next week,” she added.

  Stupid annual board meeting.

  Roman had said I didn’t need to go, but guilt mixed with doubt that my brother could actually handle everything on his own had me booking a flight and leaving my pregnant wife—something I had sworn I wouldn’t do.

  “Okay, grab your shoes. Let’s go get you a dog,” I grumbled.

  She jumped up, shrieking and laughing. “You’ll be just as excited as I am. Just wait. Once you see all those cute little puppies, you’ll turn into a puddle of goo.”

  I gave her a doubtful sideways glance as she scurried off into the bedroom to find a pair of shoes. Grabbing the journal off the couch, I flipped through the pages, seeing all the numbers we’d managed to cross out over the last two years. It brought back a flood of memories with each scratch of the pen—the day we’d visited the Met or the afternoon we’d spent paddle boating around the lake at Central Park. I smiled as I saw the ones she’d recently drawn a line through as we’d made this book our goal over the last few weeks. My fingers moved from line to line, recalling each moment we had spent together.

  It was like a retelling of our love story.

  72. HAVE MY HEART BROKEN.

  That was one that hurt to see crossed out, knowing I was the reason it had been fulfilled. But it was something I couldn’t regret. If I hadn’t walked away, she wouldn’t be here right now.

  Carrying my child.

  Possibly facing death—again.

  “You ready to go?” Lailah asked, startling me.

  “What? Oh, yes, let’s go!” I answered, quickly recovering.

  Taking her hand, we headed for the car, feeling the crisp ocean breeze blowing through our hair, as we walked down the driveway. I breathed in deeply, letting the smell of the water and air fill my lungs. The smell of the beach was something I’d missed while living in New York, and now that I could simply step out onto my deck and take my fair share whenever I needed, I secretly never wanted to leave. I loved what I did, working for a company that had my family’s name on it, but the farther I got from the city, the less and less I wanted to return.

  As we settled into the car, I realized I had no idea where we were headed.

  “So, where does one go to get a puppy?” I asked, looking over at her for guidance.

  She burst into laughter but covered her mouth quickly, trying to stop. “Oh, you really are from a wealthy family, aren’t you, babe?”

/>   “What? I mean, do we go to the mall? Petco? Hell, I don’t know.” I held up my hands in defense.

  “We could go to lots of places. But there are animal shelters everywhere. I found one online that looks incredible and has a huge selection right now.”

  “Okay, lead the way,” I instructed, backing out of the driveway.

  She began giving directions.

  The place wasn’t too far away, maybe twenty minutes with traffic. We parked close to the entrance, and as we walked toward the door, I stopped.

  Turning to face her, I asked, “You’re going to adopt the most pitiful, grungiest-looking puppy in there, aren’t you?”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Because you have a thing for the underdog.”

  “You weren’t an underdog,” she challenged, her hands going to her hips defiantly.

  “I wasn’t much,” I said.

  Her hand cupped my cheek. “Looks can be deceiving. And you were more than I could have possibly imagined—even if you didn’t have the Cavanaugh last name.”

  I kissed her forehead and wove my fingers around hers. “Come on. Let’s go find a puppy.”

  I was right.

  After an hour of deliberation, she’d settled on a shy, scraggly little fuzzball that looked like he had been eaten alive by all his fur.

  “Isn’t he the cutest thing in the world?” Lailah crooned, holding him in her lap in the car.

  He curled up in her arms, his little nose peeking out just beyond the crook of her arm.

  “He’s goofy-looking,” I replied.

  “He’s adorable!” she scolded.

  I laughed. “Okay, I’ll admit, he’s kind of cute—in a weird, fluffy sort of way. Can that stuff even be brushed?” I asked, pointing to the sporadic tufts of fur that sprung out in every direction off his body.

  “I think he needs a bath. Maybe a trip to a groomer? I don’t know. He’s perfect just the way he is,” she said lovingly.

  We stopped at the local pet store, buying everything that was recommended and more. Toys, shampoo, treats, food, and even a comfy dog bed were thrown into the cart.

  “We need to get him a tag for his collar,” I said, pointing to the engraving machine near the front.

  “Oh, okay!” Lailah answered excitedly, holding her new friend close to her chest.