SEXT ME

by Layla Valentine

  Asher noticed the change in me, because he pulled back and looked down at me.

  “You all good?” he asked.

  “I am,” I replied, swiftly undoing his pants. “I’m with you and I’m happy, that’s all.”

  Asher smiled at me, like this was the best news that he’d ever heard, and started kissing me again. This time, he didn’t stay just at my mouth, but worked his way down, obligingly taking off his jeans so that I could admire the view. He kissed his way down my neck—stopping at the spot behind my ear that made me gasp and a shiver work down my spine—and then down to my breasts.

  I loved his mouth on my breasts. I loved the way he would tug lightly at a nipple, just this side of pleasure and pain, and how he would tease, rubbing circles around my nipple but not fully touching it just yet. I was still feeling that relaxed, pleasured sensation, like I was a live wire but a floppy one, filled to the brim with sensation but so relaxed about it.

  Asher kept working his way down, until he could spread my legs wide with his hands and kiss and suck his way up my inner thighs, making me tremble. He liked teasing me, liked making me beg for it, and I was determined to hold out this time.

  Maybe today he was a little impatient, feeling a rush where I was feeling relaxed, because he dove right in, licking and sucking at my clit. I cried out in surprise and pleasure, my back arching up. Oh, God, it felt so good when he did that.

  My legs shook as I forced them to stay open against the onslaught of sensation. Asher slipped a finger inside of me, slowly working me open, and I keened in pleasure as he curled it upwards just the way that I liked. I loved that he’d taken the time to get to know my body. It made each time we had sex better than the last, because he knew me better, knew how I worked and what made me go crazy.

  Asher added a second finger, and I moaned, thrusting my hips down to meet the sensation. I wanted him inside of me, loving the feel of him coming undone. Maybe later on, we’d be able to do this without a condom, and I could feel him in every way as he fell apart. I wanted that, and the thought made me even wetter, the idea of no barriers between us. I thrust my hips more frantically, trying to show him that I was ready, that I wanted him.

  “C’mon,” I finally gasped, reaching down to tug at his hair. “Asher, please, please, I want you, please.”

  “Well, when you say it like that…” He raised his head up and winked at me. He loved it when I begged.

  Asher fished around inside his top dresser drawer, pulled out a condom, and lined himself up.

  “I’m still going to make you try doggie style someday.”

  “Mmm, that sounds good, but right now I really like the feeling of you pinning me down.”

  Asher’s hips stuttered and he slid into me, his mouth going slack. I grinned and draped my legs up over his shoulders to give him more room to sink all the way into me. Asher also liked it when I talked dirty—or, rather, he liked it too much—and it always made him go a little out of control.

  That was another thing—I liked that I knew all of this about him, just as he knew things about me. We were synced up, working and moving together as one, especially now that he was inside of me. I could feel him thrusting, getting in deep, his body rubbing against my clit with each thrust. I worked hard to meet him, that syrupy-thick feeling of satisfaction filling me more and more, like I was a cup about to be filled to the brim.

  I yanked at his shoulders, pulling him up a little so that I could kiss him. I loved this. I loved him pinning me down, I loved him deep inside of me, I loved this building sensation like I was riding the crest of a wave, I loved I loved I loved—

  It was like someone had punched me in the stomach, but in the absolute best way. My limbs tensed and shuddered as the air shot out of me, leaving me gasping and clawing at Asher as I made a strangled, screaming sound that I’d never made before. It felt so good, beyond good, oh my God. Just everything on fire, exquisite fire, my body burning up as it writhed, really writhed, completely out of control.

  I could hardly breathe for the pleasure that filled me, making my body shake. Asher was still moving inside of me, thrusting hard, and that only made the pleasure stretch on and on, until just when I thought I would die from how good it felt, Asher gave a shudder and I felt him finish.

  Asher pulled out of me, but I was still shaking, tiny little tremors, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. He pulled me close to him, pushing the hair back from my face.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “You look a little shocked there.”

  I realized that I was still gasping for breath.

  “Oh my God,” I croaked. “That was—holy shit—that was the best sex of my life. How did—what was—”

  “That,” Asher told me, kissing the tip of my nose, “Was an orgasm, sweetheart.

  Chapter 15

  Asher

  I stared down at Jessica, my lovely, wrecked Jessica, as comprehension dawned on her face.

  “I just had an orgasm?”

  I nodded.

  Jessica looked thoughtful, even as her face occasionally went slack from the tremors her body was still making. After years and years of buildup and being denied, her body seemed to be making up for lost time.

  “This is…amazing. Holy shit.”

  I grinned. “Yeah, most people agree.”

  Jessica looked up at me. “I’ve never…I had no idea. What did you do?”

  “I didn’t do anything,” I told her, honestly.

  I had done the things that I knew she liked, but I hadn’t been trying to get her to have an orgasm. I had just been trying to show her a good time, make every moment good and worthwhile. As she’d said—the marathon and not the sprint.

  “But,” I added, “I’m glad that you got to feel that. It’s amazing, and you’re amazing, and you deserve to feel amazing. So.”

  Jessica smiled up at me, her hand sliding around the back of my neck to pull me down for a kiss.

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you!” I said, pulling back. “I’ve been applying for actual OB/GYN jobs. I want to go legitimate again. That was why I got into this profession, was to pay off my bills so that I could help people the way that doctor helped my mother. I lost sight of that. But I want to get back into it, and I have some interviews.”

  “That’s really great,” Jessica said sincerely. “Did you do that just for me?”

  “Partially for me, but partially because I knew that my girlfriend wouldn’t like me sleeping with other women.”

  Jessica smiled, and it was as bright as the sun.

  “No, I don’t think she would. I hear she’s kind of jealous when it comes to you.”

  “I hope she would be, seeing as I’m a little jealous when it comes to her.”

  A strange look passed over Jessica’s face. “I think that’s it.”

  “What is?”

  She sat up and looked at me. “That was why. Asher, I’m in love with you.”

  “Good to know, seeing as I’m in love with you.”

  “But, don’t you see?”

  Jessica smiled again. I’d do anything to keep that smile on her face all the time, constantly.

  “For the first time, I had sex with someone where I wasn’t feeling pressured to have an orgasm to please them. I was with someone that I knew—without a doubt—loved me for me and would never judge me or expect anything more from me. Someone who didn’t think that I was anything other than perfect the way that I was. And that finally allowed me to relax, and feel special, and I think, I really think that’s it, Asher. I felt loved. And I had an orgasm.”

  I lunged forward, causing Jessica to fall into the pillows as I kissed her madly and deeply. I loved her, and she loved me, and she felt that love so completely, she was finally able to relax and fully enjoy sex. Was this what being in a relationship always felt like? Because this was amazing.

  “You know,” I admitted, pulling back a little, “This is my fist real relationship.”

  “Wait, really?” Jessica searched my eyes,
probably trying to find out if I was joking.

  I shook my head.

  “I’ve had a lot of one-night stands, especially in college, which I told you about. That was what helped me when I started this Dr. O thing. But I was really shy in school, and then in college I didn’t have time for romance, and then I was doing this, and what did I need a girlfriend for when I was getting everything I needed as Dr. O?”

  Jessica nuzzled into me, kissing my neck.

  “You know that you’re my first serious relationship too, as my parents kindly disclosed.”

  “Then we’ll figure this out together,” I promised her. “You and me. Together.”

  Jessica curled up into me and I wrapped my arms around her, protecting her. Keeping her safe. She was never going to feel broken or inadequate again, not for any reason. Not on my watch.

  “I like that idea,” Jessica whispered, and I could feel her smiling into me.

  Chapter 16

  Jessica

  Mary’s honeymoon ended the next week, much to her annoyance. She had wanted to stay for an entire month, but neither she nor Josh could afford to be away from their jobs for that long, so back to Pittsburgh they came.

  “I’m retiring to Hawaii,” Mary announced when she called me at the office upon her return. “And I’m so glad that Josh and I lived together before we got married. Can you imagine coming back to work and trying to move in together at the same time?”

  “Nope,” I said, making a mental note that if Asher and I were serious we should probably move in together soon.

  It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I liked Asher’s apartment way better than mine, with its massive shower and balcony and a living room finally big enough for all of my friends to come over and have a movie night. Nope. Nothing at all.

  “So, I was thinking,” Mary said, her voice a little muffled as she continued to unpack from her trip, “Why don’t you and Asher join Josh and me for dinner tonight? If you’re free?”

  I had told her about how Asher and I had made up, and Mary had squealed on the phone about that for what felt like hours. She was still pretty giddy about it, if the tone of her voice rising an octave just now was any tell.

  “We should be free,” I said, simultaneously typing out an email to Asher.

  Now that he was working in an actual hospital, he wasn’t as free all the time, but we were making it work. He’d admitted to me that he had planned on ducking out of the wedding early with an excuse of being called in for a patient in labor, so that he could avoid meeting Mary and continue his ruse. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint me and miss the wedding, but he had also wanted to avoid getting caught out. The fact that he had been caught out so spectacularly—well, that, he hadn’t predicted or planned for.

  I got an email response back a moment after it sent. Asher must have been at his desk, then.

  “Yes, we’re free!” I told Mary, who gave a whoop of delight.

  “I can’t wait to see what you two are like together!” she gushed. “I’ve never gotten to see you when you’re a part of a couple, Jess; this is going to be great!”

  She sounded almost as excited as my parents had when I’d explained the entire story to them—with certain parts heavily edited. As far as they knew, Asher had been assigned by Mary to ‘lighten my mood’ since I was stressed with work. He had fallen in love with me, but had been unable to find a way to tell me the truth of how we’d met, and then the whole thing with the wedding had happened.

  They hadn’t minded the whole subterfuge aspect, stating that he clearly was in love with me the entire time—they could tell from the dinner they had accidentally crashed. My mom wanted him to come over so that she could cook us a proper meal and learn all about him—as if they hadn’t done all of that already at the restaurant.

  “I’m sure we’ll all have fun,” I told Mary, and then relaxed—because this would be fun.

  It was my best friend, her new husband who I really liked, Asher, who already knew and liked Mary and who I was sure would get along well with Josh…what was wrong with that picture?

  Absolutely nothing.

  We decided to eat at the Italian place that Asher had taken me to for our first date, since we’d both enjoyed the food and Mary wanted to give it a try.

  The first thing she said when we sat down was, “I am so sorry.”

  “Mary,” I chastised her. “How many times are we going to go over this? You can stop apologizing.”

  “But I know how much you hate being the center of attention,” Mary said. She then leaned in towards Asher. “Don’t propose to her in public; she’ll kick your balls straight up into your throat.”

  Asher blinked, then nodded, and I laughed at the look of mild horror and confusion on his face.

  Mary turned back to me.

  “I humiliated you, and I’m so sorry about that. I’m sorry to Asher as well, for outing you in that way, but mostly to you, hon. You know I love you and I was just trying to help. But you’re right—it was manipulative, and I want to do whatever I can to make up for it.”

  “Mary, honestly,” I said, grabbing her hands. “It all worked out. Asher and I are together now and in love!”

  A grin slipped across my face before I could stop it, and I wondered if that would always happen when I talked to someone about Asher and me.

  “It’s all water under the bridge. Really, it is. You’ve been such a good friend to me over the years. This is nothing.”

  “Okay,” Mary said, reaching over and giving me a hug. “But you’re letting us pay for dinner.”

  “Deal.”

  The rest of the evening was lovely. Josh and Asher got along well, as I’d hoped; their minds worked in similar ways, since they both had a passion for science. They also both had similar taste in television, and by the time dinner was over, they’d made plans to have a viewing party together for their favorite show’s season premiere.

  Mary looked over at me, beaming.

  “It seems that things are going well for you two.”

  “They are,” I said. “I mean, we’re still in the beginning stages, and we’re both still really new at this, but we love each other and we’re making it work.”

  There were times when we had to do things that neither of us had anticipated. We had different schedules, and sometimes one of us would be in the mood for sex and the other one wouldn’t, or Asher would find my piles of cosmetics in his kitchen annoying, or I’d hate how he sang in the shower at five in the morning, waking me up. But there were also the times when I woke up to him singing and loved it, and he’d see me with my products all spread out and he’d take a picture, laughing and calling me adorable.

  We were making it work.

  “So, when you two get married,” Mary began.

  I heard Asher choke a little on his gnocchi.

  “You’re going to make me the maid of honor, right?” she asked.

  I looked over at Asher.

  “It’s a little soon to be talking about marriage,” I pointed out. We weren’t even two months into our relationship, and we hadn’t even really been calling it a relationship for most of it.

  “Anything could happen,” Asher said, taking my hand and smiling.

  He was always good on the recovery.

  “We’re taking things slow, since this is my first serious relationship and it’s Jessica’s first as well. We’re kind of figuring things out together. But never say never.”

  “We’ll see,” was all I said, leveling a mock-glare at Mary.

  She’d be the kind of person to start planning my wedding right away in her head.

  Then, Asher squeezed my hand, and I found myself smiling again. It didn’t matter if Mary and my parents were kind of rushing things, or that we were still figuring it all out, or that we were not even two months into this thing. It was like I had seen with Mary and Josh at the altar, and had felt with Asher holding me as we’d watched everyone dancing at the reception.

  It was as
if nobody in the world existed except for Asher and me, staring at each other and just feeling, and being, together.

  Epilogue

  Asher

  Two years didn’t seem like a whole lot of time as it was actually passing us by. While we were in the thick of it, it felt like a very short amount of time, like each day was quicksand through our fingers, and we were blinking, and it was gone. There were never enough hours in the day to take care of patients, to have get-togethers with friends, to work on projects for Jessica’s boss, to move in together.

  But when I looked back on it, standing in my tuxedo at the altar, it all felt like a very, very long time. It was like an eternity had passed since I had first gotten the text from Mary and had agreed to give Jessica her first orgasm. I had succeeded in that, although not at all in the way that I had intended, and along the way, I had earned the best part of my life.

  Mary had been right about Jessica destroying my manhood if I tried to propose to her in public. Cooking seemed to be the way to Jessica’s soul—well, that and golf—so I had planned it all out.

  On that Saturday, we slept in, and then I took her to play golf. She was still far better than I was, since she continued to go every week and I only went with her when my shifts at the hospital allowed.

  That Saturday, though, I went with her. We played until even Jessica was starting to get tired, and then I drove her home and cooked her my risotto. It was still her favorite dish of mine, even after all of this time, and I liked putting little twists on it for her sometimes, like adding lobster or a touch of rosemary.

  After we ate, I revealed the dessert: a chocolate cake decorated as a putting green, complete with a golf ball.

  “The golf ball’s a little large,” Jessica noted.

  It was. Compared to the other parts of the cake decoration, the golf ball was huge.

  “Pick it up,” I told her, grinning.

  Jessica did, and immediately sensed that something was off about it. “The weight’s weird.”