SEXT ME
Page 40
I wanted desperately to be with Kyle, and I knew that I would either have to accept that he didn’t want to be with me, or that I was on the very brink of making a decision that would change my life forever.
“Trust me on this—all you have to know are a few of the dos and don’ts, and you’ll be good to go. It’s really not that hard to fit in once you know how. I should mention something to you, though…”
Maddy poked her head back out of her closet and looked at me, sitting on her bed with a glass of wine in my hand, slowly warming up to the idea of being her. I looked at her and raised my eyebrows.
“They said that you were a little…abrasive…last time,” she explained, rather bluntly.
I gasped.
“What do you mean, abrasive? They yanked me onto that stage and basically sold me to the highest bidder! Surely they didn’t expect me to be happy about that?”
I shook my head, shocked that she would say such a thing. Or worse, that they would say such a thing to her.
Maddy seemed completely undeterred, and was busy tossing dresses behind her onto the bed.
“This is a club that celebrates sexuality, Em. Whether you are going to be part of that or not, you can’t suggest that you might not approve of what goes on there. In fact, you are expected to be open-minded to the point that you would be willing to try something—even if it’s just something small—just to show them that you do have some support for what is taking place. I might not be an actress, but there are times when I definitely know how to put on the face those people are looking for—and trust me, it’s going to do you a lot of good, as well.”
She smiled, but I wasn’t feeling so sure about her plan. I knew I didn’t want to get involved in anything outside of my comfort zone, though I could see what Maddy was saying—I had definitely been taken aback by some of the goings-on at the previous Gathering, and while I thought I’d kept my cool reasonably well, maybe it had been more obvious than I’d thought.
“Just try not to give anyone the wrong impression about me, okay? Now, you’re going to have to look the part, so which of these dresses do you want to wear? Those boots that you kept from the last time will be fine with any of these, and I suggest you opt for that pair again. The sexier you look, the more likely you will be to catch Kyle’s eye.”
Maddy gave me one of her confident smiles, but my face fell.
“None of this is going to matter if he has no interest in pursuing something with someone he’s already been with.”
I tried not to let the anxiety show through my voice, but I knew that it had to.
Maddy shook her head, though she said nothing, and for the first time in a long time, I really appreciated having her as my sister. We had been at each other’s throats for as long as I could remember, and doing this together made me feel like we were connecting again.
“You know, I really appreciate you helping me with this, Mads. I can’t just let this slip by without telling you how much you mean to me. I couldn’t do any of this without you, and I’d forever be lost and alone, wondering what would have happened if I’d had the guts to find him and tell him how I really felt.”
I rose from the bed and gave my twin a hug. Maddy smiled.
“You know, I’m proud of you, Sis. I’m amazed that you were able to break out of the life that you were so safe in and do something like this. Now, let’s make sure it wasn’t a waste of your night.”
She winked as she spoke, and I nodded. I tried to remind myself that, regardless of what happened, I still had people who loved me, and a sister I could work anything out with if we gave it a chance.
I picked up one of the dresses she had laid out on the bed for me and held it up to myself while looking in the mirror.
“What do you think?” I asked.
Maddy paused and looked over her shoulder, then smiled in satisfaction when she saw me.
“I think that’s going to be the dress that wins you the prize.”
“Stop pulling! You’re going to pull it right out of my head!” I whined as Maddy raked the brush through my hair.
She pulled once more, determined to perfect my hair into silky waves that screamed seduction.
“Well, if you were able to hold still for maybe a few seconds, I would be able to get this done without you having to cry about it,” Maddy mumbled through the bobby pins in her mouth.
I looked up into her face through the mirror. She glanced down toward me, but her face didn’t change as she went back to focusing on what she was doing. She grabbed my hair and twisted it as she pulled it up and behind my head.
I wanted to cry out once more, but I bit my tongue. I had asked her to do this, so I had no business complaining now. Maddy had been to more parties like this one than I ever would be, so if she knew how to put my hair into the right style, I was going to sit back and trust her to do it—no matter how painful it was.
Once I relaxed, the pain wasn’t nearly as difficult as it had been, and I enjoyed watching Maddy transform me from sensible nurse into international model. She applied my makeup flawlessly, then helped me with the back of my dress.
As I sat on the end of the bed and laced up my boots, Maddy stood in the corner of the room, admiring me and seeing if there was anything else she might add last-minute that would better my chances with Kyle.
“And you’re sure that he’s going to be there, aren’t you?” I asked as I switched to the other leg and began tying that long set of laces.
Maddy nodded, though it was a few seconds before she found the words to reply.
“Yep. I’ve made the necessary phone calls, and barring something happening to him on his way to the mansion, you can bet on him arriving—later than most, but in time for the auction. He marked on the RSVP that he wanted to be there, and I believe he really does.”
“I guess I’ll have to just wait and see,” I murmured, increasingly anxious at the prospect of seeing—or worse, not seeing—Kyle again.
It was going to be awfully hard to wait and see.
“Hurry up! Your ride is here!” Maddy called down the hall.
I was in her bathroom putting on the last of my jewelry, and with a final, critical look at myself in the mirror, I turned and walked out. My feet already hurt as I took heavy steps on the carpet, walking in my tall boots to the front door.
When I saw Maddy waiting for me, I suddenly felt all my confidence drain out of my body.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I groaned.
Maddy put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a reassuring smile.
“You can do this, and you’re going to be so happy that you did. Think about it—you did it before, when you had no idea what to expect! Now, you can do it when you know exactly what to expect and what’s going to happen next. Don’t walk into that club being the scared little girl looking to prove a point to her sister. Walk in there and show the entire club that you know who you are, and you are going to talk to the man you want to talk to.”
She had her hands on my shoulders the entire time she spoke, and at the end, she gave me a light shake.
I couldn’t help but smile. There was a part of me that would have given anything to trade places with Maddy at that moment. To truly be her, and not have to pretend I was her to make it into the club. If I really were her, I wouldn’t have to worry about what Kyle was going to say when he found out I had lied to him.
I reached forward and pulled my sister close. It had been so long since we had shared a genuine, sisterly hug, and it felt good. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I refused to let them flow. All I could think about was my makeup, and how I wanted to look perfect.
“All right, then—you have what you need, now get out of here and go tell Kyle exactly what you want him to know.”
Maddy smiled at me, and I nodded, blinking back the tears that had formed in my eyes. She gave me a final, reassuring look, and with a nervous smile back, I grabbed my clutch and walked out the door, my head held high.
Though I felt awkward doing it at first, the way it looked made me feel on top of the world. It was like I was a model with a career of my own, and I was going to meet the man who respected me for who I was.
The driver glanced into the backseat and I gave him a small smile but said nothing. He gave me a curt nod through the rear view mirror, but he also said nothing as he put the car into drive and pulled onto the street.
I glanced back through the window and saw Maddy standing on her porch. Her arms were crossed and she stood tall, but I could see by the look on her face that she was proud of me and what I was doing. She had given me her ID, just in case I needed it, and she had told me everything that I could possibly need to know to succeed that night.
All I had to do now was pull off the plan.
The ride to the mansion seemed to take a lot longer in the daylight, and I sat with my eyes focused out the window the entire time. I was lost in thought as we made the journey, thinking about what I was going to say to Kyle, as well as how I was going to say it.
He was such an intimidating man; I didn’t know if I would have the nerve to tell him everything I wanted to say. At the same time, I feared that I would say too much. There were so many thoughts rushing through my mind, and with just as many emotions to keep up with them, I hardly knew what to think or feel.
At last, the car pulled up in front of the house, and the door was opened for me. The sun was setting in the sky, and the red carpet was already illuminated with little lanterns lining the way to the house.
Once again, I felt like royalty as I stepped out of the car and onto the carpet, a tingle going down my spine. I smiled at several of the people who were gathered nearby. Unlike the first time I had done this, I was going to act like the model everyone thought I was.
Maddy had told me that the more I strutted my sexy stuff and gave off a sensual, comfortable vibe, the more acceptance I was going to get from these people. Though it was something that I wasn’t sure I agreed with myself, I knew that she had an idea of what she was talking about.
And, at the end of the day, all I needed was their acceptance. I reminded myself that if I played by the rules tonight, I would never have to see any of them again.
I walked up to the doorway and once again gave the doorman my sister’s name. He looked at me as though he could recognize me from the previous time I had been there, but there was something off about me that he couldn’t put his finger on. He glanced over at his companion, who also gave a short nod, then both men stepped aside.
My heart skipped a beat as I walked past them and into the short hall—the sound of the music from the party room already filling my ears. I had to admit, I had never before felt such a rush as I did at that moment, and I imagined I truly was a top model surrounded by adoring fans. I threw my hair and walked with confidence, showing off every side of me to anyone who watched.
Maddy had told me that I didn’t need to strike up a conversation with anyone, so I simply grabbed a flute of champagne and stood to the side, ready to watch the crowd.
A woman suddenly walked up to me with a clipboard in her hand and asked if I was Maddy Shadows, pulling me from my thoughts of Kyle.
“Who wants to know?” I said with as much nonchalance as I could muster.
The girl looked intimidated, and I felt pleased with myself.
“I was just wondering if you were going to take part in the auction tonight?”
I smiled and took a sip of my champagne, enjoying the awed respect that she was showing me. I brought my glass down from my lips, then shook my head as though I had given it some thought and really couldn’t be bothered with such nonsense myself.
“I am going to ride solo tonight, but thank you for your consideration,” I told her with a sweet but no-nonsense tone.
The girl looked a combination of relieved and disappointed, then turned and walked away. I stood for a moment, watching her go until she disappeared into the crowd. The bidding was going to begin soon.
And that’s when I saw him.
Kyle Cunningham, standing over by the other doorway, drink in hand and looking as carefree and intimidating as the day I’d first laid eyes on him. I threw back the rest of the champagne in my glass and swallowed before setting the empty flute on a tray that was passing by. Smoothing the front of my dress, I turned slightly toward the stage.
I wanted to keep an eye on what he was doing, but I wasn’t going to address him yet. Playing it cool was essential; I couldn’t bombard him—a fact Maddy had driven into my mind many times during the week she’d helped me prepare.
I did my best to focus on the stage in front of me and all the preparations that were going on, but I found myself looking over to Kyle frequently.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if he saw me.
Chapter Sixteen
Emily
I knew the auction was going to begin at any moment, and I was doing my best to get ready for when it did. Maddy had assured me several times that it would be perfectly all right for me to watch without bidding, so long as I was careful to maintain the nonchalant-yet-curious attitude that the entire club thrived on.
It was difficult for me to see exactly what was going on with the strobe lights running onstage, and I was glad that when I had come the first time, I hadn’t been auctioned off in the beam of a strobe. I glanced around to see Kyle had disappeared. There was a feeling of panic that filled my chest for a moment, but I brushed it to the side and turned my attention back to the stage.
He was here, and he had no reason to leave. The bidding hadn’t even started yet, and I was certain he was going to go for someone in the high thousands. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to him if he bid on a girl and won. It would be an awkward situation if tried to tell him how I felt with another girl sitting right there next to him.
On the other hand, I was fine with saying what I needed to in the front of the auction crowd—right in front of everyone. I needed him to know, one way or another.
I might not have had the intention of purchasing one of the young women to spend the night with me, but that certainly didn’t mean that I didn’t appreciate the show. This time, I felt that I was being treated with greater respect than I had been the first time. I wasn’t sure if this was because I knew what was going on and was carrying myself with a bolder attitude because of it, or if this was because they had seen me here before and I was now considered a regular.
Whatever the reason, servers walked past often, offering me more champagne or a taste of whatever treat they were carrying on their trays. I helped myself to anything and everything I thought looked good. I had learned that these were things that were given as a compliment of the house, and I ought to take full advantage of them if I was going to fit in with the rest of the crowd.
Suddenly, my attention was again turned to the stage in front of me. The announcer, looking just as beautiful as she had the day I’d stood on the stage next to her, was beginning to announce the arrival of the lots. The auction crowd cheered. They were clearly more than ready to get the show underway.
I watched as the first girl was brought out. Several members of the crowd cheered, and the girl waved, clearly enjoying the attention. Now that I knew what was happening, I almost wished that I could get back up on the stage myself and show off for the group.
I wanted to see how much money these men and women would pay to have me by their sides, now, and a small part of me wanted to know if Kyle would bid again.
When his name flashed through my mind again, I abruptly turned and scanned the crowd. It was even harder now for me to see across the group, let alone make out anyone in particular. Hands were be
ing raised as the bids rose higher and higher, and the passion in the crowd could be felt throughout the entire room.
I decided I couldn’t stand in one spot any longer, and resolved I was going to go find Kyle. I pushed my way through the crowd, doing my best to look as though I knew where I was going.
Several of the men and women moved out of the way when they saw me coming, but there were others who clearly felt it was my job to make it through the crowd without any help from them. I did my best to pick through the feet on the ground, not wanting to step on anyone in the heels I was wearing.
Out of nowhere, I came very close to tripping on something that was on the floor. At first, I thought someone had collapsed from the strobe light or the heat, but when I looked down, I couldn’t help but gasp.
A woman was on her knees in the midst of the crowd. She wasn’t paying any attention to the auction—she was too busy performing a sexual act on the man standing directly in front of her. My hand flew to my mouth as I nearly cried out in surprise, but I quickly recovered, apologized for nearly tripping on her legs, and continued.
Thoughts began to rush through my brain as I looked back over the bidding company. Sure enough, upon closer inspection, I could see that there were many lewd acts taking place within the crowd. Women were lifting the backs of their skirts and men were taking advantage of the opportunity. There were couples making out in the darkness of the strobe, only revealed every now and then by the flash of the light over in their direction.
Though the music had been lowered for the bidding, couples were grinding on each other in tune to the beat, each one bidding separately on the women who were brought up to the stage.
I tried to remind myself of what Maddy had said, and look upon these lustful acts as something the club was celebrating. It wasn’t for me to decide what others should and shouldn’t do with their own bodies, and maybe, if I opened my mind a little, I might start enjoying myself more.