Savior: A Tattered Club Story (Tattered Social Club Series Book 1)

by Allan, Pauline

  On my way. Did you eat?

  For a split second, he ridiculed himself for asking, then didn’t give a shit. No one else was reading the texts so he could chill the hell out. His father’s voice whispered in his ear. Giving his brain a mental thump, he finished straightening up and flipped the light off.

  Ben crossed the hall with a sandwich in his hand. “Everything ready?”

  Now Niko wished he hadn’t thumped his stupid brain. He needed a kick in his weak ass. “What’s ready?” he asked, knowing exactly what Ben was talking about.

  He shook his head and chuckled. “Right, Seth said you left the door unlocked. Apparently, Knox was up there putting groceries in the fridge. That asshole surprises the shit out of me. One moment, he doesn’t want us in the same room and the next he’s buying groceries for your…” Niko fisted the phone in his hand. “Friend.” He took another bite of the sandwich. “I got a six o’clock, but I thought about playing some pool tonight over at The Ranger. Want to meet up later?”

  Niko knew the guy wasn’t much for social engagements but loved to play pool and seeing as The Ranger was all shadowed, battered lamps and peanut shell covered floors, it was a perfect place for his friend to hide.

  “I’ve got something going on, but I’ll see if I can stop by after.” Ben seemed to spend most of his time alone if he wasn’t hanging with the other guys. Interested in learning something about Ben’s airtight private life, Niko had pushed several months ago, suggesting they go to a bar and find a couple of girls to take home, but Ben had turned him down, saying he had other plans. Niko knew better.

  Ben tipped the brim of his worn baseball cap and the light skimmed across the pink streaks trailing against his temple. Clients—hat down. Friends—hat back. Niko got it. No judgments here. Niko had wondered more than once what had happened but knew not to ask, just like Seth and Knox hadn’t asked Niko why his probation officer kept stopping by the shop for over a year.

  Niko sat behind the wheel and started the car. Was Samantha right? Had there been clues, side glances, stupid fucking slips showing he was a total fraud? Being the underhanded one who got the guys out of some pretty fucked-up situations, hence screwing Seth’s “inconvenience,” was his MO. One of the four got in trouble, Niko was the bailout. Taking shit to the edge was his specialty. If someone made the dumbass mistake of fucking with one of his boys, he made good on raining down a major payback.

  If the guys knew he’d let Ethan finger his ass, they’d laugh him out of the shop and maybe their lives. Niko’s “take care of business” guy reputation would blast into pieces and be replaced with Niko the “sissy fag” guy. He looked over the back of the seat. The bulging plastic sacks were proof his father had been right about one thing—he may not want to live in a cardboard box on the avenues, but damn if he didn’t want Ethan to fuck him in the ass.

  *****

  Ethan checked his phone. It was ten minutes past five. Quickly closing the laptop, he snatched his backpack and headed for the front doors. The last thing he needed was Niko thinking he was an ungrateful asshole making him wait.

  Running to the end of the sidewalk, he scanned the curb. The gray Nova set running behind a parked VW Bug. He formulated an apology in his head as he clutched the laptop and headed toward the car.

  Before sliding inside the passenger seat, he started, “I’m sorry I’m late. I lost track of time.” He stuffed the backpack on the floorboard and latched the seat belt.

  “You never answered my question.”

  Ethan sensed Niko’s tension as he unzipped the bag and slid the laptop inside. “Huh?”

  “Did you eat today?”

  “I, well, kind of. I got really busy. We had a group thing I’d forgotten about. I have your money.” He fished the twenty out of his pocket and held out his hand.

  “Jesus, Ethan, you have to eat. Open the glove box.” Ethan popped the button and the door opened. “Grab one of the protein bars.”

  Ethan hesitated. He’d lived on the things his first year in college. Well, those and ramen noodles. “It’s okay I—”

  “Open one and eat. We’ve got a lot to do. I’ll order a pizza for later, but you’re going to hit the floor before then. You already look like hell.”

  “Thanks.” Hearing that made him feel even worse than taking the money in the first place. He snagged the peanut butter bar and pressed the rectangular door shut. “I don’t think I look bad. A little pale, maybe, but it’s hard to get out in the sun when I’m studying or working all the time. You look like you’ve been outside. I figured with your tight schedule at the shop you never got to see the light of day.”

  Niko looked over. “I work outside when I do commissions, but that’s gonna change here soon. I’ve got a few projects lined up for indoor murals. I’ll have work through the winter. Paint won’t stick to the brick and concrete when it gets really cold.”

  Ethan tore a piece of the dry bar and chewed. “You have another job?”

  “I do murals for businesses. When I was younger I painted all over the neighborhoods and even in the city. The Professor found me that way. I guess I’m pretty badass with a spray can.”

  Niko didn’t seem like the kind of guy to put himself on a pedestal so when he cocked a grin, Ethan chuckled. “I bet you’re a badass at a lot of things.” Niko shifted his gaze to the road, but the confident tilt of his lips remained. Ethan laid the twenty on the console. The protein bar tasted like cardboard, but the more he chewed, the better he felt. Looking like hell might have been an accurate description after all.

  The car thumped when the tire hit a divot in the street. Hearing the rustle of plastic, he turned around. “What’s all that?”

  “You need things.” Niko took the off-ramp.

  Ethan swallowed the dry lump he’d been chewing. “This stuff is for me?” Niko hesitated then nodded. “Niko, I have to hear from one of the other jobs before I can pay you back.”

  “We’ll work something out.”

  Ethan’s head throbbed. Was he grateful for the help? Yes. Was he going to be a sex toy for another guy who pretended to be straight? Hello no. “I’m not doing this, Niko. I got out of that shit with Charles and I’m not about to pay you back for your help by being your secret fuck buddy. You’re playing straight, hell you might be bi, but that’s not my problem to fix. I’m not here to service you in secret then take the help you dish out when—”

  “Are you done whining?”

  Ethan felt his face heat. “Fuck you, Niko.”

  “I thought you said that wasn’t part of the deal.”

  Ethan’s hand itched to smack the smirk off Niko’s face.

  “Listen, calm your ass down. That’s not what I meant. You can pay me back. Get on your feet first.”

  Ethan eased into the seat. “I can agree to that.” When the car came to a stop in the lot behind the shop, his heart thudded so hard against his ribs he thought he might pass out.

  “Good, now can we get you moved in without all the drama? I’ve got the key. There’s two ways in. You’ll have the key to the front. The door is kind of hidden at the edge of the shop, next to the big window. Open the outside entrance and the stairs go up to a landing. Your apartment’s on the left. The other door is in the back of the shop. This key…” He dangled the red sparkle heart on the small metal ring. “I know. Scarlet picked it out. This key goes to that door, too, but you won’t have a key to the club so you can’t get in unless someone lets you in.”

  The key looked like the X on a map he’d been following for two years. “Okay.” He grabbed the key. The anticipation of staying the night in his new place dissolved. He didn’t even have a sleeping bag. Niko had already done so much, he couldn’t ask for another night in his bed. “I’ll make it work until I can get some furniture. I work tomorrow and I’ll see if my boss can give me my paycheck a couple of days early.”

  Niko opened the car door and started tapping his finger on his phone. “What do you like on your pizza?”

&nbs
p; “Seriously? You’re not buying my dinner again. There’s a convenience store down the road. I’ll pick something up there.”

  “Supreme sounds good.”

  Ethan cringed. He was a sausage and pepperoni kind of guy. “Can I pay half?”

  Niko’s finger stopped. “No, you can’t. I’ll get a large, pepperoni and sausage too.” He glanced over. “That okay? You can put the left overs in the fridge. There.” He pressed the green buy button. “Done.”

  “You have these places on speed dial? You must never eat at home.”

  Niko paused, shoved his phone back into his pocket then leaned out the door. “I live alone. Sometimes it’s easier than cooking.”

  Ethan’s stomach did a flip-flop. For a moment, he didn’t feel sorry for Niko. Living a lie bought a person a one-way ticket to loneliness. Ethan had experienced it and learned the hard way. “You have Casper.”

  With that, Niko smiled. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  Niko opened the trunk and Ethan swallowed. “You bought a microwave?”

  “You’re going to need one,” he said like the word duh would naturally follow the statement.

  Ethan slid the backpack off his shoulder and carefully set it down. He fisted the front of Niko’s T-shirt and tugged as hard as he could. Not waiting for the shock to wear off, Ethan crashed his lips against his parted mouth. Quieting the almost protest with his tongue, Ethan tilted his head and closed his eyes.

  Niko’s grip bit into the flesh on Ethan’s waist, but he didn’t care. He’d felt much worse. He moved his head again, hating the space when Niko retreated. His knees weakened when warm, strong hands, cradled the sides of his head as Niko feasted.

  “Fuck,” Niko growled before leaning in again taking a slow wipe in Ethan’s mouth. “Grab some bags.” Both were panting as Ethan loaded up both arms with plastic sacks while Niko grabbed the microwave.

  Ethan bumped into Niko’s back as the key slipped into the lock. “Hurry up. I have to pee.”

  Niko laughed, a sound he could get used to. “Hold on, skinny jeans.”

  He stepped through the doorway and gasped. “Niko, it’s perfect.”

  “It’s not very big, but it’s comfortable and it has everything you need. The loft has the bed and a dresser. The bathroom is right there.” Niko pointed to the door at the base of the short staircase

  “God.” He stood in the center of the studio apartment knowing the smile on his face made him look like a twelve-year-old on Christmas, but he didn’t care. This place was safe and his.

  “You get settled in and I’ll grab the rest of the bags.”

  “Wait.” Ethan realized Niko had mentioned a bed. “The Professor said the apartment was unfurnished.”

  “Yeah, he didn’t know there was stuff left up here. It’s all good.”

  Ethan felt like he’d won the lottery. “That’s awesome!” He was going to sleep in his new place.

  By the time he got out of the bathroom and explored the loft, Niko was hauling two armloads of plastic sacks. “Hey, bright eyes, wanna grab a couple of these?”

  Ethan laughed and ran over to unload an arm. “Sorry.” He set the bags on the floor beside the open staircase. “God, Niko, you thought of everything. I like the coffee cup dish towels.”

  Niko blushed. “You said you work at a coffee shop.”

  So, that was a total boyfriend thing to say. Ethan turned away, hoping to hide his smile. This part of Niko didn’t want to run. This side wanted to laugh and kiss boys. Ethan liked the vulnerable Niko. They set plates on shelves, plugged in a single cup coffee maker, put silverware in drawers then took several bags to the loft.

  “I didn’t know what color you’d want so I got white.”

  Ethan unfolded the fitted sheet, clutched it against his chest, and fell backwards on the mattress. “I don’t care if the sheets are yellow, red, or rainbow. I have a bed!”

  Niko laughed and sat on the edge of the mattress. “You’ll always have a bed, Ethan. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Ethan rolled onto this side. “Come here.”

  Niko turned away, planting his elbows on his knees, letting his hands dangle. “I never thought I’d be here. You know? Like this.” Ethan scooted closer, needing to be the net when Niko took this plunge. “When I was sixteen, I did something to protect someone I cared about, someone who ended up not giving a shit about me. Jesus.” He rested his head in his hands. “I fuck women, Ethan. A lot of them. I never sleep over and I’ve had only a couple to my place. We fuck on the couch, in the shower, on the floor. Never in my bed.”

  Ethan closed his eyes, remembering the soothing warm liquid in his palm. He was special, finally. To someone, he meant something.

  “This is wrong for so many damn reasons. You’re young, hell, you’ve been someone’s slave for money—basically.”

  Ethan opened his eyes, turning his cheek to lay rest it on the uncovered mattress. Maybe he wasn’t so special after all.

  “And, if anyone found out I want to sleep with—Jesus, you—they’d take me for a fucking fool.”

  “Do you look at me like I’m a fool?” Ethan’s stomach hurt with Niko’s hesitation to answer.

  Ethan felt the weight of his hand on his hair. Long fingers threaded through and massaged all the way to his temple. The sensation lulled him, made him like he was home again with his mom, before all the shit happened, when he was still human in her eyes.

  “No, I don’t.” Niko continued the tender massage. “We’re just different. You’re gay and I’m not. I’ve had sex with women. Have you ever had sex with a woman?”

  Ethan turned up his nose. “No, I can’t do that.”

  “Come here.” Reaching down, he grabbed the back of Ethan’s T-shirt and tugged. “I need you on me.”

  Ethan got up and straddled Niko’s lap, draping his arms over hiss broad shoulders. “But I thought you weren’t gay.”

  Niko smiled. “I’m not. I just like the way your ass looks in those skinny jeans.”

  Ethan leaned in and nipped hiss lip. “I like you naked. You have the perfect ass.”

  When he bit back, Ethan gasped. “I want to taste you.” Niko slipped his tongue inside Ethan’s mouth, searching for Ethan’s tongue. “Will you let me? I know Charles did that to you. Would it freak you out?”

  “No,” Ethan said, before licking Niko’s top lip. “I’d like it very much.”

  Ethan looked down, between their stomachs, watching Niko unzip his jeans. “Take these off, your shirt, too. I want to see you.”

  For a second, Ethan panicked. Not only was his stomach laced with scars, but his right thigh wasn’t in much better shape. There was only one that was almost healed, but the pink tinged line still looked raw.

  “Can I leave my shirt on?” At least he’d have some security.

  Niko grabbed the hem of Ethan’s designer T-shirt and tugged. “Nope.” Niko grinned. “Everything off. I’ve never done this and always thought about it. I want you naked. It’s not fair, anyway. You got to see me naked.”

  “Yeah, but your body is killer. Mine isn’t.”

  “Fuck that.” Ethan squeezed his eyes shut, letting the warm breeze slide over his torso. “God, Ethan, you’re beautiful. I’m sure you’ve heard that from every lover you’ve ever had, but they were right. You’re…perfect.”

  Warmth slipped slip against his lashes. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but Niko was wrong. His lovers, all three of them, had been horrified when he’d taken off his shirt. Eventually, they tolerated the scars, but it was always with a quick glance and indifference. They hadn’t cared if the marks were bright red and angry. They never considered slowing down, or not flipping him on his stomach while they fucked him. Every wince went ignored.

  “Will you take your shirt off? I don’t want to be the only one without clothes on? Or—or will you get naked?”

  Niko palmed the back of Ethan’s neck and drew him down for a slow kiss. Slipping his tongue inside, licked the tip of Ethan’s tongue, pla
yed then retreated. “I can do that. But…”

  Ethan flattened his palms on the two hard mounds of Niko’s chest.

  Niko lifted his hips, dropped them down, lifted again, this time gripping Ethan’s narrow hips to grind his stiff cock between his thighs. “I can’t guarantee what’ll happen if I’m naked and you’re in my mouth.”

  Ethan felt the tip of his cock brush the wetness on his underwear. He was leaking, wetting the inside of his jeans, and only one thing was going to ease the heaviness in his balls—Niko’s hot mouth.

  “God, Niko, it’s ever been like this. I’ve never wanted someone so much. Are you sure you want this?” Ethan tried to remind himself how it hurtful it had been to be hidden, kept in a closet because his lover was too embarrassed to face the truth, but it was hard. The warmth of Niko’s chest radiating through his palms, his heart pounding beneath his hand told him the truth. Niko was gay. He could deny the fact with every ounce of his soul, but Ethan was smart. Fighting who you really are only makes you miserable.

  “Fuck, I have no clue what I’m doing. All I know is I can’t stop this. You’re too young, too pretty, too… Goddamn, too sexy.” Niko’s grip on the back of Ethan’s neck gently tightened as he brought him to his mouth. “I want this. I have to have it. Please don’t deny me. You can tell the whole world. I’ll deal with that later. Jesus, I have no idea how to figure out any of this.”

  “Don’t worry about it now. This is our place, our secret.” Was he really saying this? Was having an orgasm worth losing his heart? That, Ethan feared, was happening. He sighed and tilted his head, giving Niko’s exploring mouth access the sensitive skin on his jaw. Niko was getting his dream. Ethan closed his eyes praying he wasn’t going to lose his.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Every muscle in Niko’s torso clenched then released. Over and over the rhythm danced as Ethan stood in front of the bed slipping the jeans over his narrow hips. Not until he waited there in his red boxer briefs with the white band did Niko take a real breath.