Jasper John Dooley, You're in Trouble

by Caroline Adderson

  For my sister, who was never, ever bad — C.A.

  ISBN 978-1-77138-422-3 (EPUB)

  Text © 2015 Caroline Adderson

  Illustrations © 2015 Ben Clanton

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of Kids Can Press Ltd. or, in case of photocopying or other reprographic copying, a license from The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For an Access Copyright license, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free to 1-800-893-5777.

  This is a work of fiction and any resemblance of characters to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

  Kids Can Press acknowledges the financial support of the Government of Ontario, through the Ontario Media Development Corporation’s Ontario Book Initiative; the Ontario Arts Council; the Canada Council for the Arts; and the Government of Canada, through the CBF, for our publishing activity.

  Published in Canada by

  Kids Can Press Ltd.

  25 Dockside Drive

  Toronto, ON M5A 0B5

  Published in the U.S. by

  Kids Can Press Ltd.

  2250 Military Road

  Tonawanda, NY 14150

  www.kidscanpress.com

  Edited by Yasemin Uçar

  Series designed by Rachel Di Salle

  Designed by Julia Naimska

  Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

  Adderson, Caroline, author

  Jasper John Dooley you’re in trouble / written by Caroline Adderson ;

  illustrated by Ben Clanton.

  (Jasper John Dooley ; 4)

  ISBN 978-1-55453-808-9 (bound)

  I. Clanton, Ben, 1988–, illustrator II. Title.

  III. Series: Adderson, Caroline, Jasper John Dooley ; 4

  PS8551.D3267J37 2014 jC813’.54 C2014-902852-0

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter 1

  After soccer practice, Jasper John Dooley’s dad gave him change to buy a drink. “You must be really thirsty after all that running away from the ball,” he said.

  “It’s because of my striped socks,” Jasper told him.

  “I’m just going to ask Coach Ben a quick question. You go ahead.”

  Jasper took the change and skipped away. Dad waited in the parking lot beside Coach Ben’s car. Dad’s question was going to be quick for sure. It only had three letters — W-H-Y? During practice, Dad had stood on the sidelines shaking his head and asking the other parents the same thing. “Why?”

  Why does Jasper always run away from the ball? he meant.

  Why do bees have stripes? Jasper wondered, but as soon as he reached the vending machines, he stopped thinking about bees.

  Two machines stood in front of the community center, one for candy and chips, the other for drinks. Jasper spent a few minutes looking in the candy and chip machine. He liked how the things were arranged inside, with the chips in the top three rows and the chocolate bars in the middle two rows. In the bottom row were the not-chip and not-chocolate bar things, the things that didn’t fit, like cookies and gummies.

  Jasper leaned right into the machine so that his breath clouded over the glass. If only he had more money! He looked at the change Dad had given him, but didn’t count it, because that would be math. Anyway, he could tell there wasn’t enough for a drink and chips, or a drink and a chocolate bar, or a drink and gummies.

  He checked the coin returns. He got down on his hands and his knees and looked under the machines. Nobody had accidentally left change behind, or dropped it, so he could buy a drink and something else.

  Then he remembered Dad was only asking a quick question and moved over to the drink machine.

  There were two kinds of drinks — good and bad. The good drinks had happy face stickers on their labels. The bad ones didn’t. They were full of things that were bad for you, like sugar. Jasper was only allowed bad things full of sugar as a special treat and only after he had eaten good things. Like celery. He might be allowed a bad drink if he ate some celery first. But he hadn’t eaten celery for a long, long time. He hated it.

  So he had to choose a good drink — apple juice or water. Water! Who would buy water? The water in the drinking fountain was free.

  Jasper got an idea. He’d go into the community center and drink some water from the fountain. That way he would have enough money for a drink and chips, or a drink and a chocolate bar, or a drink and gummies.

  In the parking lot, Dad was talking to Coach Ben. Coach Ben was patting him on the shoulder like he was almost finished answering his question. If they finished talking while Jasper was inside getting a free drink, when Dad came to meet him at the vending machines, Jasper wouldn’t be there. Then the thing that had happened in the grocery store a long time ago would happen again. Dad would run around yelling and waving his arms. The loudspeaker would boom out, “Code Red! Code Red!” Jasper would drop whatever was in his hand — change today, or a whole carton of blueberries in the grocery store — because he was so frightened.

  Apple juice, Jasper decided.

  His money clattered down. Words started scrolling by on the little screen above the coin slot. YOUR SELECTION NOW PLEASE PRESS YOUR SELECTION NOW PLEASE … Beep!

  Each of the cans and bottles had a letter and a number. The letter and number for apple juice was C3.

  PRESS YOUR SELECTION NOW PLEASE PRESS YOUR SELECTION … Beep!

  NOW PLEASE PRESS YOUR … Beep! Beep! BEEP!

  Hurry! Hurry! Jasper pressed C on the keypad, then 3.

  Scary noises — whirrs and rumbles and clanks — started up. The whole machine shook with these sounds. A can shot forward, held by the machine’s claws. The machine seemed to be showing Jasper the can — it was red and black with a picture of a torpedo on it. When the claws let go, the can crashed to the bottom of the machine and rolled out of view.

  Jasper squatted. He was almost afraid to push against the door and see the drink waiting there. Because apple juice came in bottles, not cans. Also, he was pretty sure that apple juice would have a happy face, not a torpedo.

  He reached inside and took out the can — the can of Torpedo High Energy Drink. He pressed it to his cheek. Cold.

  Cold, and so so Bad.

  In the parking lot, Coach Ben was loading a big net bag of soccer balls into the trunk of his car. Dad was still asking, “Why?”

  Dad might not let Jasper drink the Bad drink even though he’d already bought it. But if Jasper opened it and started drinking now, he would at least get to taste some of the Bad drink before he had to pour it out.

  He stepped around the side of the machine where Dad wouldn’t see him and pulled the tab.

  First came the sound of a torpedo firing. Fizzy brown liquid bubbled out and over his hand. Jasper leaned away from the can. When he was sure it wouldn’t explode, he changed hands and licked the sweet drink off his fingers. His tongue prickled like there were tiny bombs going off in his mouth.

  “Wow!” he said.

  “Jasper!” Dad shouted, making Jasper swing around and splash Bad drink onto Dad’s pants. Jasper shrank dow
n. He looked from the can to Dad’s pants, then up to his face.

  Dad said, “You scared me! I looked over and you weren’t here!”

  He was breathing hard from running all the way from the parking lot. He didn’t seem to notice the Bad drink splash on his pants. “Come here, Jasper,” he said, grabbing him and hugging so hard that some of the Bad drink spurted out of the can like water in a fountain. It spurted up the back of Dad’s jacket.

  “Phew!” he said.

  On the way to the car, Dad squeezed and unsqueezed Jasper’s shoulder. “Remember that time? You were about three, I guess. I lost you in the grocery store …”

  “Yes!” Jasper said, holding the Bad drink out so he wouldn’t get splashed, too, while Dad squeezed him. “I do remember.”

  “It was horrible. I felt like that just now.”

  And Dad squeezed him even harder.

  Chapter 2

  Before they got in the car, Jasper showed Dad the Torpedo High Energy Drink. He said, “Look what came out of the machine. I wanted apple juice.”

  Dad wasn’t focusing, Jasper could tell. Usually Dad passed the key toggle to Jasper so he could unlock the car and make it beep. It was a nice beep, not an impatient beep like the drink machine had made. The beep of the car meant, “Hello! Where would you like to go?” The drink machine beep meant, “Hurry! Hurry!”

  Dad blinked at the red and black can in Jasper’s hand.

  “Can I drink it?” Jasper asked.

  “You’re thirsty, aren’t you?”

  Jasper took a so small sip. Right away his mouth exploded in prickles. When he swallowed, the prickles went down, too. But the drink was sweet, and as soon as he took one sip, he wanted another. He paused to scratch his tongue.

  “Don’t mention this to Mom, Jasper. Okay?”

  The can was halfway to his mouth again. “The drink?” he asked.

  “No. Don’t say that I told you to go ahead and almost lost you. That other time? You were probably too young to notice, but she wouldn’t speak to me for a whole week.”

  He opened the car door for Jasper. When he turned to get in the car himself, Jasper saw the Bad drink stain on the back of Dad’s jacket.

  “Okay, Jasper John? We won’t say anything, right?”

  “Right,” Jasper said just before he took a second sip.

  This time it was a bigger sip. He had to shake his head around like he was doing the Hokey Pokey. He felt dizzy getting into the car. With the can between his knees, he fastened his seat belt — fast. Without a seat belt, he might blast right through the roof.

  After that, for the whole drive home, Dad talked about soccer. He said, “Coach Ben thinks you’re afraid of the ball. Are you afraid of the ball, Jasper?”

  “Why would I be afraid of a ball?” Jasper asked, taking another tiny sip of the Torpedo High Energy Drink, then clenching his jaws so his head wouldn’t blow off.

  “Sometimes the ball comes at you pretty fast,” Dad said. “I can see why you’d be afraid of it.”

  “But I’m not afraid of it,” Jasper said. “I like fast things. I like so so fast things. I like things like torpedoes.”

  “Torpedoes?” Dad said, and Jasper giggled. His head felt like a balloon. It probably felt that way because of the enormous burp building up inside him.

  BUUURRRPPP!!!

  “Pardon me?” Dad said.

  “That wasn’t me,” Jasper said. “That was the drink.”

  Dad laughed.

  When they got home Jasper still hadn’t finished the drink. He was afraid to because, after only five sips, the prickling had traveled all the way to his hands and feet. His head felt so floaty, but when he pressed it with his hands, it was still hard on the outside. Sixteen burps came out on the drive home.

  “I’m not finished my drink,” he told Dad as they got out of the car.

  “Put it in the fridge,” Dad said.

  “Really?” Jasper said and, without waiting for an answer, he ran all the way into the house, trying not to spill any. He would spill less if he walked, but he found he couldn’t walk. He only had one speed now. Fast!

  The fridge was full. Any time there were leftovers, Jasper’s mom put them in an empty yogurt container. When the fridge was full of yogurt containers, she started taking them out again and checking for food with green fur. Green fur meant the food got thrown out. Any food that wasn’t furry went back in the fridge until it was.

  There was just enough room at the back of the fridge for Jasper to tuck in the can of Torpedo High Energy Drink. He closed the door and took off running through the house.

  “David?” Mom asked Dad. “What’s that on your pants?”

  Dad looked down at the Bad drink stain. “I have no idea.”

  Jasper ran right past them. Fast!

  “Jasper John,” Mom said, “didn’t you use up any energy at soccer practice?”

  “I used up some,” Jasper called back. “Then I got a lot, lot more.”

  Chapter 3

  During supper, Jasper kept bouncing on his chair because of his High Energy. When Mom and Dad asked him why he was bouncing, he said it helped his chewing.

  After supper, his energy was still too high. Mom said, “Jasper John, it’s not good to run and jump right after you’ve eaten.”

  Dad said, “Mom’s right. Do you see what I do every day after supper? I lie on the sofa and watch golf on TV. It’s the best thing for your digestion.”

  Mom said, “I feel dizzy just watching you, Jasper.”

  Jasper stopped running. “That’s funny. Because I feel dizzy, too!”

  Mom said riding a bike would be better, because his stomach wouldn’t bounce around so much.

  They went out to the alley together. Mom stood at one end watching for cars while Jasper rode up and down. Fast! He rode up and down so fast he made wind. A squirrel was sitting on the roof of the garage watching Jasper with wide eyes. Jasper’s High Energy scared the squirrel. It ran up a telephone pole and away along the wire.

  Jasper’s friend Ori, who lived across the alley and one house down from Jasper, looked over the fence. “Do you want to ride bikes with me, Ori?” Jasper called as he zoomed past.

  “The thing is, no,” Ori said. “You’re going too fast.”

  “Slow down, Jasper!” Mom called. “Stop!”

  Jasper squeezed his brakes so they screeched like an angry cat. Mom had to jump out of the way.

  “Look!” Ori said, pointing at the ground.

  Jasper got off his bike and came over. His tires had made a long black skid mark. He squatted and touched the mark. It felt hot. He put his nose close and sniffed it.

  Smoky.

  Jasper remembered an expression his Nan used. “That’s a black mark against him.” It meant somebody had done a bad thing. She usually said it while watching the news on TV. Jasper had never wondered where the black mark got written down. He didn’t know it could be in the alley behind your house where everybody could see it.

  “That’s Bad,” Ori said.

  And Jasper said, “Wow!”

  Before bed, Jasper took a bath. While he was in the tub, a tidal wave rose up and sank all his plastic boats.

  Jasper wailed. Dad came running.

  “Jasper, if you keep moving your legs like that, the seas get stormy.”

  “I can’t help it,” Jasper said.

  “It’s almost time to get out. Wash your hair, okay?”

  Dad left. Jasper grabbed the shampoo and squeezed the bottle. His whole hand filled with blue goop. When he scrubbed, so so many suds formed that he could sculpt his hair into horns.

  Jasper stood up in the tub so he could see himself in the mirror above the sink. “Ahh!” he cried. He looked so so so Bad!

  Mom and Dad said “Ahh!” too, a minute later, when Jasper crept bare-naked into the
living room and jumped out at them with a terrible roar. Mom actually screamed. Then she said he was dripping water and suds everywhere and he’d better march himself right back into the tub.

  “Rinse that shampoo off and get ready for bed,” she said. “Honestly, I don’t know what’s the matter with you tonight, Jasper John.”

  By the time Jasper got into bed he felt so so so tired from running away from the ball at soccer, from running and jumping in the house, and from riding his bike up and down the alley scaring squirrels and Ori and Mom. Tired from growing horns and getting scolded.

  But when he laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, sleep wouldn’t come. His body felt tired, but his head was wide awake. His head was awake thinking Bad thoughts.

  Thinking about things with horns. Thinking about long black marks that smelled smoky.

  “Beep!”

  Jasper sat up and looked around. It was the middle of the night. Mom and Dad were asleep in their bed. Ori was asleep in his bed across the alley and one house down. His Nan was asleep in her bed in her apartment that Jasper visited every Wednesday.

  But Jasper was wide awake.

  He got up and crept down the hall to his parents’ room. In the dark he could just make out Dad on his side of the bed and Mom on hers. Even if he couldn’t see them, he knew whose side of the bed was whose. One side was snoring.

  The best way to get in was from the foot of the bed. He lifted the covers and pulled on the sheet until it untucked. Head first, he burrowed in without waking Mom or Dad. He popped out between them, sighed and closed his eyes.

  So cozy. So safe. So —

  “Beep!”

  Jasper sat up. Mom and Dad did, too.

  “Did you hear that?” Jasper asked them.

  Chapter 4

  In the morning when Dad woke him for school, Jasper was in his own bed. “My head hurts,” he said.

  “Maybe you’re getting sick.” Dad laid a hand on Jasper’s forehead. Jasper put his hands over Dad’s hand and pressed hard.