Uncaged

by Lucy Gordon

  He felt her move, and he drew back, releasing her from his embrace. She took his hand and drew him to his feet. “Come with me,” she whispered.

  She took him to what had been her bedroom, closed the door behind them, and kissed him softly on the mouth. She began to remove her clothes, but not feverishly as though the need of their flesh was all that mattered, or slowly, as if she meant to tease him. He knew already that what was happening went too deep for that. She did it with a kind of intent simplicity, seeming to have her mind fixed on something that could only be achieved in this way. Daniel watched with wonder as her slim, beautiful body was revealed, offered to him gently and with a graciousness that signified more than passion.

  He followed her lead, understanding that it was only when they were naked together that they could communicate. When flesh lay against flesh, skin against skin, warmth against warmth, they would find a truth deeper than words.

  He took her into his arms, and she pressed her body against the length of his. He could feel her eager trembling, sense the heartfelt gladness of her response. His manhood was hard and powerful, wanting her, but he waited, leaving the initiative with her, knowing he could trust her for everything.

  Her kiss was a promise of peace, calming him even while it enticed him. He accepted the invitation of her mouth, sliding his tongue between her lips to venture into the sweet darkness within. It would be so easy to lose himself in her, trust everything to her. All his life and his training was against such surrender, but now he seemed to have no resistance, and moreover he’d learned to mistrust his own apparent strength, seeing it as a trap and a delusion.

  He understood that Megan’s strength was the only kind that counted, the strength to forgive a hideous wrong from the depths of a full and courageous heart. True strength lay in soft arms around his neck, sweet lips pressed to his, and a gentle hand leading him to bed.

  Moonlight shone through the branches of trees, then through the window, dappling her body with strange jungle shadows. He resisted the urgency of his desire to simply lie there and adore her with his eyes, and his hands, tracing a line from her throat, over the swell of her breast and down to the curve of her hip. She watched him in return, with a look that he could almost have sworn was love, if he hadn’t known that to be impossible. She’d called him “my love,” and yet...

  Why should this woman love him, the man whose carelessness and arrogance had damaged her so terribly? There was no reason except her generosity and the compassion born out of her own suffering. Even as he tried to convince himself, he knew that her love was what he wanted more than anything else on earth. There was only one other thing that he wanted as much, a secret that so far he’d concealed even from her. But he never allowed himself to dwell on it, lest he go mad.

  Reverently he bent his head and began to trace patterns with his tongue on her breast. The skin was warm and delicately scented, and he inhaled its fragrance with delight. He could hear the slow, soft throbbing of her heart, with its message of eager anticipation. She didn’t move, but her breathing grew deeper as he homed in on the proud nipple and enclosed it between his lips. She gave a long sigh and twined her fingers caressingly in his hair, abandoning herself to the joy of perfect physical love.

  Megan lay back, allowing him to tease both nipples to peaks, reveling in the sensations he could give her, sensations that blotted out awareness of all else and made her one concentrated point of pleasure. Warmth and excitement streamed through her body, slowing her heartbeat to an insistent, thunderous rhythm, making her tense with excitement. She watched Daniel through half-closed lids, taking loving note of every movement he made. Her body was ready for him, but more importantly, her heart was ready. With new wisdom she could see that she’d never truly loved a man before. Now the whole magical experience was opening before her, and she went to meet it eagerly.

  Then it happened, the thing they’d both been waiting for. Tiger’s eyes glowed, her hot breath scorched him, and her catlike sensuality enveloped them both. In the forests of the night they sought and found each other, and their mating was splendid. There was passion and physical abandon, but also tenderness and poetry. She breathed his name as he entered her, and whispered it again as she felt the powerful movements back and forth, driving her to the edge of ecstasy. She could say nothing else, just his name over and over, because that was all there was in the world. Daniel...Daniel... on and on in a raging forest fire of pleasure that felt as if it would last forever.

  But it exploded at last, engulfing her in flames. They reached their moment together and clung to each other as they fell deeper into the heart of the fire.

  And then there was no fire. It was gone, dead, and all they had left was what was in their hearts. It was a moment that destroyed many couples with only physical passion to sustain them, but these two faced it unafraid. And the things that had been there before—compassion, pity, fellowship of suffering, tenderness, the revelations of their own and each other’s true natures, the incredulous dawning of love—all these things were there still, with their promise for another day, another night.

  Ten

  The next day Daniel set about tracing details of bank accounts to see if he could get the elusive piece of evidence that would nail Jackson Grainger. Megan couldn’t follow him here, but they met in the evening. She looked strained. “What’s happened?” he asked gently.

  “I went back to the school, hoping for another look at Tommy today,” she said bleakly. “But I couldn’t get near. That approach to the playing fields has been fenced off. A passerby told me it was done recently as a safety measure, because someone had seen ‘loiterers.’”

  Daniel grimaced. “Meaning us.”

  “Yes. Daniel, are you getting anywhere? Please say you are.”

  “The man who can help me wasn’t there today, but he’ll be back tomorrow. I’m doing my best, Megan.”

  “Yes, I know you are.” She tried to smile, but it was a painful effort. The euphoria that had gripped her after her success as Lily Harper had evaporated, and now he could see that she was coming close to snapping under the strain. He wished he could take her home with him and love her cares away. He longed to do for her what she’d done for him, offering him the solace of desire fulfilled. It had meant so much to him at the time, and it had been easy to believe that she intended something more than simply comfort. But with the dawn, his doubts had returned. What he’d hoped was love was simply the overflowing of her bountiful nature.

  Now it was finished, and he could see she wanted to be alone tonight. He drove her home, kissed her cheek, and watched as she went into the house.

  As he was about to drive away he became aware of an elderly man at the wheel of a taxi that had just pulled up. The man was staring at him with curious intentness. Daniel shrugged and drove away.

  The next day he went in search of his contact, and this time he found him. When he’d explained what he wanted, the man grunted. “Are you trying to put me back in jail?”

  “Nobody will ever know,” Daniel promised. “Come on, Joe, you owe me a favor.”

  “Yeah, all right. If you hadn’t spoken up at my trial I’d have gone down for twice as long. Leave it with me, and I’ll call you.”

  He returned home, trying not to let himself hope for too much, but his heart felt that no price would be too great to see Megan happy. The house seemed terribly quiet without her. She’d been there for such a short time, but now her atmosphere lingered in every quiet corner, and he ached for the lack of her.

  As he was thinking of throwing together some supper, there was a knock at his front door. He rose quickly, wishing his heart wouldn’t beat so urgently. But when he pulled open the door, it wasn’t Megan who stood there, but the last person in the world he’d expected to see.

  “Tommy.”

  The little boy on his front step was clutching a bag. He’d set his face into a mask of stubborn determination, but years in the force had taught Daniel to ignore masks and study eyes,
and Tommy’s eyes were scared, unhappy and desperate. “I—I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Keller,” he began, “b-but...”

  “Come in.” Daniel almost pulled him into the house and shut the front door quickly, after a hasty glance up and down the street. He took Tommy into the kitchen, and the little boy sat down. “Can I see Mommy?” he asked eagerly.

  “Tommy, I’m sorry, she doesn’t live here.”

  “But you know where she is, don’t you? You could call her?”

  “Right now,” Daniel said, reaching for the kitchen phone, praying to find Megan at home.

  The landlady answered, and went off to find her. After a few nail-biting moments he heard Megan’s voice. “Get over here quickly,” he urged. “Tommy’s arrived. He came looking for you.”

  He heard her gasp of joy, then the whispered, “I’m coming, I’m coming.” The line went dead.

  “She’s on her way,” Daniel told Tommy. “How did you know to come here?”

  “You left me your phone number. I heard Daddy call you Mr. Keller. I went through all the Kellers in the book until I found the number you gave me, and there was the address.”

  Daniel gave the little boy’s shoulder a friendly punch. “Good man. We could do with a few like you in the police.”

  Tommy’s eyes shone. “Are you a policeman?” he asked fervently.

  Daniel grimaced. “I used to think I was, but I’m afraid I’m not much of a policeman. Does anyone know you’ve gone?” Tommy shook his head. “Well, with any luck, you’ll have time to see your mother and get back before they miss you.”

  Tommy looked at Daniel. “I’m not going back,” he said quickly. “Never, ever. I’ve run away. I’m going to live with Mommy.”

  Daniel stared at him, gripped by dismay. Somehow this possibility had never occurred to him, and it opened up nightmare visions. To Tommy it was all so simple, but for Megan to keep him and Daniel to help her would get them both into deep trouble with the law, and that could be the final nail in the coffin of their hopes. “I expect you’re hungry,” he prevaricated. “I always was at your age.” He started getting food out. “How did you escape?”

  “Daddy’s fiancée has moved in. She sent me to my room. She was cross because she says I make too much mess.”

  “Boys and mess just naturally go together,” Daniel said, emptying a can of baked beans into a saucepan. “Doesn’t she understand that?”

  Tommy shook his head, his eyes on the food. “I was painting a picture and some of the paint got onto her dress. She said it was new.” He added with nine-year-old masculine scorn, “She’s always having new dresses.”

  Daniel nodded. “She looked the type.”

  “She wants me to go away to boarding school, but I want to be with Mommy.” Suddenly his eyes filled with tears. “I want Mommy.”

  “And she wants you,” Daniel said quickly. “Not just for today, but for the rest of your lives. We just have to find a way.”

  “I thought you’d have found it by now,” Tommy said reproachfully. “When she came to see me at school that day—it was her, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes. I told her where you were, and she insisted on going there to see you. She’d have talked to you if she could, but we couldn’t get any closer.”

  He set baked beans on toast in front of Tommy, who fell on them. “Are you having something to eat?” he asked, regarding Daniel with kindly concern.

  “Thanks, but I don’t have any appetite,” Daniel responded with perfect truth. A pit was yawning at his feet. If only Megan would arrive soon.

  At last, to his infinite relief, a car drew up outside, they both heard the door slam and the sound of running feet. Followed by Tommy, Daniel moved quickly into the hall. He opened the front door and stood back to let Megan see Tommy. She didn’t even look at Daniel as she rushed inside and dropped to her knee to enfold her son in a hug. Tommy threw himself into her arms, hugging her tightly and burying his face against her. Daniel could hear a muffled cry of “Mommy, Mommy!”

  From Megan there came no sound at all. Every fiber of her being was concentrated on holding her son tightly against her. Daniel hastily closed the front door, shielding them from the world, and watched her, trying to understand the pain in his heart. He knew that he no longer existed. He’d been a means to an end, and now that she’d achieved that end his usefulness was over. It hurt badly.

  At last Megan pulled back and gazed eagerly into Tommy’s face. Her own cheeks were stained with the tears that still ran down them, but her eyes were shining with joy. “Tommy, Tommy. Oh, my darling, you’ve changed—no you haven’t...well, just a bit. You’re still my Tommy. Oh, darling, darling.” She was hugging and kissing him as she spoke, the words muffled by embraces. Tommy didn’t say a word, just held on to his mother in a way that told its own story of yearning and loss.

  Daniel looked away. He had caused this, and he couldn’t bear it. And something else was hurting him: the memory of a boy’s hug, arms tight around his neck, a whisper of “I love you, Daddy” from a child who knew the words would never be said in return. But it hadn’t mattered. Neil had known he was loved, and he’d had the instinctive wisdom to realize that it was the knowledge that counted, not the words. Pictures flickered in Daniel’s head: himself and Neil fishing, conspiring to buy Mommy’s Christmas present that last year they were making up terrible puns together and laughing themselves silly. He’d spent time with Neil and had nothing to reproach himself for.

  And yet...and yet... Now that it was too late, now that his son couldn’t hear the words, he wished he’d managed to speak them. Just once. The sight of the two rapturous figures in each other’s arms was more than he could bear to watch.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” Megan was saying. “All the time we were apart I longed for you.”

  “Daddy said you’d gone away forever,” Tommy said, clinging to her. “He said you didn’t love me anymore.”

  “That wasn’t true,” Megan said fiercely. “I love you more than anybody in the world, and I always will.”

  Daniel didn’t catch Tommy’s next words because he’d put his arms around his mother’s neck again. He was full of apprehension. The thought of what Megan was going to say to him next filled him with dread, and he was right to be afraid. “Daniel, we’ve got to move fast,” she said, rising but still holding on to Tommy with one hand. “They could be after us at any moment.”

  “Megan, exactly what are you planning to do?”

  “Do? I’m going to keep Tommy with me, of course. We’re going away together—”

  “Where?”

  “Where? What does it matter as long as we’re together?”

  “But how long will you be together? Your husband has legal custody. Technically what you’re planning is kidnapping. You’ll be on the run from the law, and they’ll catch you and send him back.” He knew the words were brutal, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know how much time he had to get through to her. He could see in her eyes that she was resisting the implication.

  “I won’t let them take him back,” she insisted. “We’ll go somewhere where nobody can find us.”

  “Megan, there isn’t anywhere like that. They’ll find you, and you’ll be in a worse position than before.”

  “What are you saying?” she demanded wildly.

  “I’m saying that I want you and Tommy to be together, too, but it has to be forever, and it won’t be if you put yourself on the wrong side of the law now.”

  “Daniel—”

  “If you want Tommy in the long run, he has to return to Brian tonight.”

  “No!” she screamed.

  He took hold of her shoulders. “Listen to me, it’s the only way.”

  “But I’ve only just got him back,” she pleaded.

  “And you’ll get him back again, I promise, but next time it’ll be for good.”

  He never knew how the conversation might have gone then if they hadn’t been interrupted from an unexpected quarter. Tommy tugge
d gently at his mother, and said, “He’s right, Mommy.”

  “What?” Megan dropped down to face the little boy again. “Tommy, darling, you don’t mean that.”

  “Mr. Keller’s right,” Tommy repeated. “I have to go back so that we can be together again one day.” He looked up at Daniel. “I guess I should be going now, sir,” he said in an oddly mature voice. He turned to Megan. “Don’t cry, Mommy. I’ll come back.”

  His wisdom calmed Megan down. It was all true, she knew that. But the thought of saying goodbye to her child after such a brief reconciliation tore her apart. Tears sprang to her eyes but she fought them back. If Tommy was brave enough to do this without complaining, then she must match him for courage.

  “There’s something we must do first,” Daniel replied. He picked up the telephone and dialed Brian’s number. “Anderson,” he said curtly when the phone was answered, “this is to let you know that your son’s on his way home. He wanted to visit his mother, and now that he’s done so, Megan is returning him. She’s remained strictly within the law, so don’t try to get clever.” He put the phone down.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” Megan said, incensed. “I wouldn’t have gone back on my word.”

  “I was protecting you in case Anderson starts yelling ‘kidnap,’” Daniel told her. “Let’s go now.”

  Megan and Tommy spent the journey sitting together in the back of the car. There was so much she wanted to say to bridge the long gap, but there was too little time. She gave him the phone number of the boarding house, but she guessed Brian would be watching him like a hawk to prevent such a call.

  Daniel spoke over his shoulder. “Tommy was telling me how he upset Selena Bracewell by getting paint over her things,” he said.

  “Darling, don’t annoy her,” Megan said quickly. “I don’t want her to be unkind to you.”