The Troubleshooter: New Haven Blues

by Bard Constantine

  "Ok, that shows us nothing.” Rob rubbed his face with a calloused hand. "This is getting real boring, really fast. Why don’t you quit stallin' and show us what you got?"

  Frankie sighed. "Very well. Look closer.”

  The image enlarged even further. Everyone leaned in. In the eagle’s iris was something…

  "You know…that kinda looks like—"

  "A code!" Ms. Kilby pointed. "It’s a series of symbols of some sort."

  "Which still means nothing," Poddar said. "Not unless we have a program that can decode it, or a cipher to unlock it."

  “That’s what we figured. Yet despite endless attempts, even the most complex decoding programs failed to solve the equation. The code is simply too complex. The origin of these symbols is completely foreign.”

  "Perhaps." Tommy stepped up closer to the projection. The image continued to enlarge in greater detail. "Unless there is someone here who can unlock it."

  It was hard not to notice he and Selene seemed to avoid looking at me.

  "Wait." Frankie stood beside Tommy. “Wait. Why don’t we allow the Troubleshooter to take a closer look?”

  I took a closer look…at Frankie. His voice was just pleased enough to send my suspicious nature to full alert mode.

  "Ok, Frankie. I’ll cut a peep at your little crossword puzzle.”

  It was an interesting sequence, if a series of alien numbers, letters and symbols could be called that. But I was no rocket scientist, and was just about to say so when something real gonzo happened.

  The sequence suddenly clicked in my head. The numbers and letters were like a language, and I spoke the native tongue. I understood exactly what they spelled out.

  A location. Not only that, it was local. Right there in New Haven.

  I kept my voice real casual as I lit another smoke. “Looks like you tooted the wrong ringer, Frankie boy. Because all these numbers do is swell my egg. Never had a noodle for math.”

  I tipped my Bogart politely. “Glad you got your leg back, Selene. You can settle that score for me at your earliest convenience. Good luck with cracking that code.”

  There was a slight pause as I turned for the door.

  Then everyone drew their weapons.

  The sound of gun clicking and sword rasping is pretty loud when they’re all drawn at the same time. Tommy and Selene faced off again, this time with his Beretta pointed between her breasts, while her blade was placed right at his sweet spot. The bio pistol, which had snapped out of his sleeve, was pointed at me.

  Probably because the Mean Ol’ Broad was pointed right at him.

  Rob had his twin Peacemakers out in the direction of Kelly and Jen, who stood back to back with twin swords, while Poddar pointed his Thompson at Christina, who twirled her Bo staff in anticipation. Stinker’s chest rumbled as she snarled at the Gutter Girls.

  I noticed another pistol aimed my way. Angel’s hand shook slightly. Probably because Ms. Kilby had put her Derringer to the back of Angel’s head.

  All in all, the entire party was about one bullet shy of mass suicide. “Hey…” I took a slow look around. “How’s about we jaw a little about this?”

  “Only if you divulge the information you just interpreted.” Tommy may as well have been at a ballroom for the lack of concern he showed. “You may be a competent detective, but your acting needs work. Leave the Grimoire to people who can handle it.”

  “Oh, like you, Tommy?” Selene was the opposite, almost as feral as a wolf. “You already owe me for my leg. I’ll take the book as payment. You’re the last person who can be trusted.”

  “Look, let’s just be calm.” Poddar tried to move in front of Ms. Kilby while keeping his gun steady.

  “Not when I have you right where I want you.” There was an edge to Frankie’s voice. Kinda like the edge of insanity.

  I’d forgotten about him in the scuffle to suicide heaven. He held a strange looking apparatus in one hand. It looked a lot like a pistol.

  I knew I was right when he shot me in the head.

  Chapter 16: Pool Party

  Sheet lightning.

  It’s the closest comparison I could think of while waking up on the tiled floor. That’s what it looks like when a room full of tension filled, trigger-happy maniacs are gunning each other down in a room without lights.

  I should have been dead. When I touched my temple, I felt what seemed to be a small pinprick. I quickly gathered what was left of my wits and assessed the situation.

  First, Frankie had shot me with something other than a standard heater. The fact that the walls weren’t decorated with my brains proved that. Second, someone had doused the lights. Frankie would be the most likely suspect.

  Third, Captain Graves had played me. The room was full of black coats, which meant the homing device was activated the moment it was handed to me. His button boys had moved in with guns blazing, completing the recipe for instant disaster. I had counted on that, actually. That’s why I warned Selene to heel-toe outta there as soon as she recovered her prize. Graves was nothing if not predicable.

  I didn’t count on being shot in the head, though.

  The brass were engaged in a close-quarters gun battle with Tommy’s goons, resulting in my first impression on waking up.

  Sheet lightning.

  I figured it was time to wake the Magic Dragon.

  I stayed low while I scuffled behind some cabinets and pulled it out of the holster. I activated the prep mode. The wire frame extended into shape, followed by the alloy gel sealing and hardening in seconds, taking form as a heavy-duty mech rifle.

  The Dragon was ready to spit fire.

  While the rest of the rubes settled for blind shooting, I clicked the threat detector on. The display pulsed, automatically targeting anyone carrying a heater. Selene and the Gutter Girls should have cashed in on my warning to split, but I clicked the setting on stun for the sake of any dames who might have still been inside.

  Like I said, soft spot.

  I clicked on my datacom, hoping my little crew was still alive and could hear over the din of gunfire, screams and curses. “Drop your weapons and hit the deck!”

  The charge cylinder spun as I stood up and fired. The room flashed as dozens of glowing rounds dropped their selected targets. As the bodies toppled, I ran for the door. It was way past time to blow that party.

  When I hit the hallway I ditched the little homing device Detective Kennedy had given me. Now that the gig was up, there was no point on letting the brass keep tabs on me.

  After that I ran like hell.

  A couple of Tommy’s goons were unlucky enough to be guarding the stairwell. They seemed more shocked than anything when they saw me take nearly the entire flight of stairs in one leap. As they reached for their heaters I fired again, only this time the rounds weren’t set for stun.

  Out the doors and into the foul, foggy air of Downtown. It never tasted sweeter. I ran into the drizzling rain and tapped my holoband. Maxine gleamed as she skidded around the corner and zipped my way. When she stopped on a dime, I gratefully pulled open the door.

  Footsteps echoed behind me.

  Lucky for Poddar I recognized him right before I almost sent him to the next world. Ms. Kilby, Rob and Stinker accompanied him. They looked a bit tattered, but in one piece.

  Poddar gave me a wary look. “We heard you on the datacom.”

  The Cowboy used his holoband to call his rusted pickup over. It squealed around the corner and pulled up behind us. “Good thing, too. Because it wasn’t looking pretty in there.”

  “Anyone know what Frankie did to me?”

  “After he shot you, the receiver in his hand appeared to receive some data,” Ms Kilby said. “A download, if you will. It was hard to tell anything else, because he disappeared along with the lights.”

  Rob shook his head. “That’s impossible. You trying to say he hacked Mick’s mind? Can’t be done. Hell, you can’t even do that to a synoid unless—”

  I tossed the Magic
Dragon inside of Maxine. “Unless you’ve really got some heavy duty tech. And as the Savant’s assistant, he would. It doesn’t really matter right now. We have to assume he was able to hack my brain. It’s not like he needed everything. There’s only one thing he was looking for.”

  “The location of the Grimoire.”

  “Right. Frankie is obviously a tool for the New Man, which means he sent that location straight to the lug. The New Man will be headed there, if he’s not on the move already. Only we’re gonna beat him to it.”

  I tapped a few keys on my holoband and sent Hunter Valentino an urgent message. I just hoped the chump was able to get it in time to lend a hand.

  Rob gave me a sidelong glance. “You barely got a look at the code. How can you remember what you saw?”

  “One look was all I needed. It’s all here.” I tapped my temple. “I remember everything except my past. The binary code was a map position. I know exactly where the Grimoire is. So hang on to your diapers, people. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.”

  It took only about ten minutes for the brass to tail me. Of course, maybe my careening through traffic and causing road ruckus had something to do with it. Couldn’t be helped. For maybe the first time since I lost my memory, I was focused. I had pulled onto the nearest skyway. It was the only way to get to the Uppers, but unfortunately it isolated us nicely for any law enforcement in the area.

  “Hunter Killer’s all over us,” Rob thoughtfully informed me. He rode shotgun, gallantly allowing Poddar and Kilby to stay together in his pickup, which followed closely behind.

  HKs are fully automated police response units. No pilots -not even a synoid. Light drones carrying heavy weapons. The name pretty much sums up what they do.

  “Great. Maxine, take over.”

  As Rob cursed, I leaned out the window with the Magic Dragon. Maxine swerved drunkenly at the sudden changeover, almost turning me into street pizza. I managed to right myself and fire an electromagnetic pulse at the HK. While it was a mere distraction at most, I figured it gave me about half a second while its system rerouted itself. Most people can’t do much in that short span of time.

  I’m not most people.

  The cylinder flipped and I fired the nano-charge. No amount of defense can counteract a hundred billion microscopic machines with unquenchable appetites. Their sole directive is to consume and self-destruct. They can penetrate the densest alloy in milliseconds. The HK put on an impressive fireworks display behind us when it ate the ground. Traffic predictably gridlocked, stalling any brass on our tail that wasn’t flying.

  “That thing had to tag us before it went down.” Rob panted as heavily as Streaker. Some folks can’t handle a little driving action. “Street sweepers will be on us like—”

  “—fleas on your mutt? Good. I’m counting on it, actually.” I ignored Stinker’s warning growl. Crammed in with Robert in the passenger seat, she didn’t have room to bite me.

  “Maybe I missed something,” Poddar said from over the datacom. “But how is that good?”

  “Trust me, we’re gonna need the ol’ storm troopers when the New Man gets to where we’re going. If he’s not there already. Back to manual operation, Maxine.”

  “As you wish.”

  “Shouldn’t you keep her in autodrive? You’re driving doesn’t exactly boost my confidence.” Rob apparently took Poddar’s place with annoying questions as well.

  “Can’t synch to a location that’s only on display in my head. Trust me, this place won’t show up on any map. I’ll have to take us there myself.”

  We headed for the Heights, the highest point in the city. The part of town where high hats tripped over stacks of spare cash on their way to the fridge at night. Mansions and swimming pools. Gold plated ceilings and all that. New Haven glittered underneath us as we sailed across the crisscrossed floating roadways to the neighborhood islands which overlooked the entire city.

  I wasn’t exactly in a mindset to appreciate the scenery.

  Wooden slats shattered as Maxine took down a fence. An old frail screamed and leaped to the side as we tore through her rose bushes. I saw the flashing lights of street sweepers on the road behind us. More were floating up from the nearest station. They couldn’t follow my trail directly on account of having to be more careful in the Heights. Rich folks had rights, after all.

  I figured that bought us about five minutes. I tore through another fence and skidded onto the main avenue.

  It was like driving into a dream. Even at night the manicured lawns, chased fencing, sparkling driveways, and soothing shades of multicolored lights were fully displayed along with the uniquely styled mansions. The only thing out of place was Maxine, roaring down the road at full throttle. Wheelers were only collector’s items in this part of town.

  I followed the map position in my head right to the dot, and wheeled down the driveway at full speed. Maxine careened right through the iron gates, cutting furrows through the perfectly trimmed turf. Real grass too, not the artificial crap most everyone else in New Haven had to make do with. We almost slid out of control, but I sadistically yanked the wheel and straightened out, mowing through a line of shrubbery. We were blind for a moment, but I figured we were in the clear.

  Until the bushes abruptly gave way to a sudden and unexpected drop.

  The wheels span, slinging dirt and foliage. I heard a lot of yelling and an anxious bark from Stinker. Beneath us were the calm, azure waters of an Olympic sized swimming pool.

  Water churned as Maxine sank like a stone. The chlorinated water rushed in from everywhere. I heard the sound of Rob’s truck as it submerged somewhere behind us.

  "Nice." Rob sputtered. "Of all the places to park, you went and chose a swimming pool."

  "What, cowboys can't swim? Maxine, let us out.”

  “As you wish. Be careful, Mr. Trubble.”

  The windows lowered and everything muted as the water rushed in, flushing us out. I saw the darkened shapes of Poddar and Ms. Kilby heading toward the surface, followed by Stinker and the Cowboy.

  I tried to salvage the Dragon, but it was caught on something. I finally gave up and headed upwards when something snagged my leg and pulled. I turned in panic and saw a pale hand latched on to my ankle.

  Hunter Valentino’s face was barely visible in the darkness of the water. His eyes glowed bright green.

  I kicked and struggled but his grip was impossible to break. Stars flecked across my vision, and my lungs were set to explode. My mouth opened, and ungrateful bubbles made their getaway from my lungs. It was the river all over again.

  Without warning Hunter shot upward, snatching me by the lapels as he rose. We exploded from the pool into midair, where he tossed me across the perfect lawn with discouraging ease. Good thing a hedge of bushes stopped me from rolling too far. I lay there gulping the beautiful taste of air and immediately nixed the dream of owning a pool of my own.

  "If you’re here to smoke me, make it quick," I said in between gasps. “Waiting makes me nervous.”

  Hunter’s face was half hidden by shadow. "Indeed. And here I thought I was doing you a favor."

  I shakily got up on my knees. “Favor by attempted drowning? I guess you must know the Savant told me all about you. Thought you’d rub me out before I could get my memories back, that it?

  “Take a look around, Troubleshooter. Do you observe anything?”

  I noticed for the first time we were alone. "What the hell?"

  "I came as soon as I received your message, but guards were on their way when you dumped your wheeler into the pool. I saw them coming and leaped in to escape their notice. Had you emerged along with your friends, no doubt you would have been captured as well. They all went straight inside.” He gestured to the hilltop mansion directly in front of us.

  “Great. Now what?”

  “We go in. As you must have surmised, the Grimoire lies within those walls. The New Man will be here soon to collect it.”

  “You and I know this Grimoire busine
ss is pure bunk, Hunter. What’s the real story?”

  “A thermal orb. Dr. Faraday created a source of renewable energy that is powerful enough to power this entire Haven. Or destroy it. Not only does the orb serve as a powerful conduit for energy, it also contains all of his recorded research.”

  “No wonder every nutjob in town is desperate to get their mitts on it.” I gave him a sidelong glance. “Why are you helping me, Hunter? What’s your angle? The Savant told me you he downloaded all my memories into your data banks.”

  “The general idea is correct: I am in possession of the data that was removed from your brain. As a result, my behavior and directives have been modified to imitate your thinking and mannerisms.”

  “My mannerisms? No offense, but you’re about the stiffest guy I’ve had the displeasure of running into.”

  “None taken. And to answer your query, I am merely acting out on the many layers of memory downloaded into my system. If my behavior appears ‘stiff’, as you put it, then you have only yourself to blame. You were not exactly loaded with personality. You were a number cruncher, a code breaker, and a precise assassin. Not hardly as colorful as the types that reside in this Haven. ”

  “That sounds boring as hell. No wonder Dr. Faraday swapped my memories.”

  “That and the fact you were assigned to kill him, steal his work, and allow the Secret Service full access to New Haven.”

  “Yeah, I forgot about that part.”

  “Indeed.”

  Hunter’s verification didn’t do my disposition any favors. I had really started to not like myself. “Is that why you’re here? To finish the job?”

  His face was as expressionless as drywall. “I am here to aid you in whatever it is you need. I have not been idle since we parted. I followed up on what meager clues were available about the technology behind the New Man. He is powerful, but not invincible. Once we take him down, we can get back to Dr. Faraday and you can get your memories and your life back.”