Losing Grace (Falling Away #2)

by Allie Little

  She nods weakly, moaning softly. Her eyes blink open but they’re vacant, missing their sparkle and laughter, the blue a faded resemblance.

  “What have you done to her?” I growl, standing up to face Daniel head-on. “What have you done?” I repeat, shoving at his broad chest with my fists. “Fix her!”

  “Fix her? Only you have the power to do that.” A nasty snort leaves his lips.

  “What is wrong with you? What happened to turn you into this … this …?”

  “Tell me what I am, Gracie. Your loving husband? Abandoned so cruelly? Don’t you know whatever I’ve become is because of you?”

  I close my eyes against the pain. With Gran lying sick on the floor, barely conscious, I can’t be held responsible. Won’t.

  Gran groans quietly. She opens her mouth as if attempting to speak but is incapable. Her eyes find mine, pleading for me to end this. To release her.

  Wiping tears from my cheeks, Daniel pulls me into an embrace so tight my bones might break. When he draws back, the light in his eyes has changed. “I want you to come home. Come home with me, Gracie.”

  “No, Daniel. You need to fix Gran.”

  He shakes his head. “I can’t, Gracie. She can’t be fixed by me.”

  “What do you mean? Who can fix her?”

  “I told you, Gracie. Only you can fix your Gran.”

  Resigned to my fate, I look up at him. Broken. “Tell me what to do.”

  He cups my face in my hands. “I knew you’d come around.” His eyes close momentarily, then open again in a single breath. “Bess has been drugged with Rohypnol, baby. It’s harmless, especially at the half-dose I’ve administered. Come home with me baby, and she’ll be fine. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to give her more. More and more, until you agree. But by then her heart may have failed. She’ll be comatose, darling. Fading from existence. Is that what you want?”

  My eyes meet the floorboards. “Of course not.”

  A deluded smile fills his face. “Is that a yes? You’re coming home? Oh, baby.” He drags me against his chest, ice-cold madness leaching through his skin.

  Tears fall against his hoodie, for the Daniel I’d lost. For the man he’d become. For this shell of a man who held me in his arms. He was alien to me now.

  From the floor, Gran shakes her head, ‘no’. The movement is miniscule. She screams silently with her faded eyes, don’t do this!

  Her soundless plea is deafening.

  29

  Riley

  “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me today, gentlemen. Our meeting has been most productive, and the current rate of progress extremely encouraging. No doubt it won’t be long before all supplementary funds are located. Just as you’ve said on numerous occasions, Richard, there must be more.” Catherine Bancroft runs a brightly manicured hand delicately through her hair, fixing the coiffured style.

  “Your ex-husband found ingenious ways to conceal his money, but once the totality has been determined, your lawyer can commence proceedings to retrieve what is rightfully yours. And I would suggest doing it quickly, before it disappears again.”

  “I’ll need to see statements, Richard.” She gives Dad a determined glance, fiddling with the pearl necklace adorning her décolletage.

  “Of course, I’ll have them to you in due course. Additional time will be required for collation, and there are still further accounts to be followed up.”

  “Fine. Let me know when you’re ready to finalise everything.”

  A victorious expression passes smoothly over Dad’s face. “Certainly. I’ll be in touch.”

  “And Riley?” Her attention turns abruptly to me. “It was a real boost having you here today. Your father assured me you were still involved, despite missing several of our meetings.”

  “It’s been a very busy couple of months for the company, Catherine, but I’m still very much involved in your case.”

  “Exceptionally pleased to hear it.” Catherine looks me over, deep in thought. “You’re about the same age as my son,” she ponders, changing the subject. “Unfortunately, he hasn’t been well recently. Not since his wife left him, anyhow. It’s been a terrible ordeal. At times, I wonder whether he’ll come out of it unscathed.” She sighs unhappily, caught in the misery of her thoughts. “There’s nothing left of my family now. My husband’s left; my son has lost his wife. Cherish what you have, gentlemen, for you never know how long it will last.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about your son,” Dad soothes. “I hope he finds peace. It must be a troubling time.”

  Catherine shrugs a disenchanted shoulder. “Supporting him hasn’t been easy. In fact, at times I can’t reach him at all. And that’s when I worry the most. He’s been so down, I worry he’ll do something silly. Some days I feel I’ve failed him as a parent.”

  “That couldn’t possibly be the case. He’ll get through it, I’m sure.”

  “Thanks, Riley.” Catherine places an appreciative hand on my arm. “You really are a kind-hearted soul.” She gathers her belongings, draping her coat over one arm. “You’ll be in touch?” she directs at my father.

  “Within weeks, Catherine. We’re nearing completion. And I wish you all the best with your son’s situation. I hope he gets the outcome he’s hoping for.”

  “I don’t think it’s likely, but thank you Richard. I appreciate the support.”

  “I’ll walk you out,” Dad offers.

  After a minute of muffled pleasantries and the click of the front door, Dad returns with a satisfied expression fixed upon his face. “Well done, son. We’re nearly there.” He claps me powerfully on the back.

  “You’re taking advantage of her.”

  He moves to the window and stares into the garden. “And you’re still angry,” he laments, his lip twitching ever so slightly.

  “No,” I reply, resigned. “I just want it to be over with. And now it is, right? You said this would be the last time. So, that’s it?”

  He inhales a slow, deep breath. “I didn’t realise she’d want to meet again. That she’d be wanting further statements. I’ll need you again, son.”

  “When does it end, Dad? Ever? This was supposed to be the last time.” I keep my voice even. Calm and measured, without the anger-filled rants of our recent past. “I guess I never could hold you to your word, so why would this time be any different?”

  We remain silent for an extended period. He watches the birds tittering outside in the trees, flitting between branches. Moving erratically, without thought. With no regard for the future, or of anything beyond now. I was afraid this would be my life now. Bowing to the wishes of my father. His silence indicates his expectations, and we remain like this for a long, drawn-out period of time.

  “The odds are high, Riley. But do as you wish and I’ll stay true to my word.” He avoids eye-contact, his voice tinged with the mark of resignation.

  Incredulous, I shake my head. “What did you say?”

  “Do as you wish. Life is too short. And family is important, which is why I’ve pressured you to stand by my side. Your mother and I … well, let’s just say she’s not happy with me. I don’t want to lose her, or you, as hard as that may be for you to believe.”

  “So, that’s it? I’m free?”

  He looks back from the window, catching my eye. “Yes, Riley, you’re free. But Catherine requested your presence at the final meeting, so for the sake of continuity...” He falters briefly. “…but no, no, I’ll leave this decision to you.”

  “Did mum change your mind?”

  He flinches, as if the thought pains him. “Yes. And then just now, hearing Catherine speak about her son. I’ve come to realise that family ties are the most important of all. Without your mother, without family, where would I be?”

  He heads slowly for the staircase, an automaton going through the motions, without paying attention to what he’s doing. In a haze, or a stupor, it wasn’t clear which.

  My mind swirls giddily and nothing makes sense. For so long I’d
fought the pressure to be the dutiful son, and now that pressure was gone.

  About one thing I was certain, though.

  I was now my own man.

  ***

  Grace is nowhere when I return. Not in the guest quarters or lying on a sunny patch of grass. Not by the pool on a sun lounge, curled up cosily with a magazine and a pot of hot, steaming tea. Warning bells ring, sending distress signals through my heart. Something’s not right. There’s a deep sense of knowing, rippling through my soul.

  “Gracie!” The stairs to the track below the cliff are empty. Surely she’s taken herself off walking, scouring the cliffs for overgrown tracks leading down to the sea. “Grace!”

  But nothing. She’s nowhere. And the terrifying thought is she’s gone. And whether she went willingly or not, the gut-wrenching reaction is the same.

  Jumping the rocky stairs two at a time back to the guest quarters, I scour the entire property top to bottom. Guest quarters. House. Only when I emerge from the front door do I realise my car is gone.

  I run both hands through my hair, tugging it painfully. Mind-blank. Vacant.

  Think, Riley. Think.

  I dig for my phone, dragging it from my pocket. Punching at the numbers, I dial for Grace, and when all I hear is dead air, I dial again for the only person who might be able to help.

  “Riley?” Brady’s voice startles me.

  “Yeah, man. I need your help.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Grace is gone.”

  Having satisfied Brady that Grace is most likely missing despite being only hours since I’d last seen her, Brady finally takes me seriously.

  “Look man, she may still turn up, but in the event she doesn’t, we need a plan.”

  “So, what’s the timeframe?” Brady asks. “How long are we waiting?”

  “We’re not waiting. If she’s visiting someone, why is her phone dead? Why would she take my car? She never does that. Something’s happened. I need to find her.”

  “Take a breath, man. We’ll sort it.”

  “I can’t sit around not knowing where she is.”

  Brady huffs out an acknowledgement. “Has anything out of the ordinary happened between the two of you today? Did you have a fight? A disagreement of any kind?”

  The memory of her disappointment washes painfully through me. She’d pleaded with me not to get involved with my father again. I’d told her I had no choice, and her disillusionment was obvious. “We had a … difference of opinion.”

  “Right before she went missing?”

  “Yeah, man. She wasn’t happy with me.”

  “So maybe she’s taken off to get her head clear. Perhaps we’re being a little hasty in presuming her missing.”

  “It’s out of character, Brady. She doesn’t do this. Ever.”

  “Are you sure? Sometimes one final moment of discontent is all it takes to break a pattern of predictable behaviour. I’ve seen it before. The straw that breaks the camel’s back, so to speak.”

  “I’m sure, Brady. Something is really wrong here.”

  “All right, then. Sit tight. I’ll pick you up in ten minutes.”

  30

  Grace

  He bundles Gran up like a sick dog, wrapping her in a blanket and lifting her out to the car. His boots crunch over the uneven gravel in her drive. She moans quietly, in pain, bewildered, but too dazed to really let out a cry. Without the warmth of sunshine, the twilight air takes on a creepy chill. My gut clenches as he returns toward the house, an unnerving smile disturbing his face. He closes the distance and raw fear numbs my senses, the last of the late winter breezes dulling my body.

  “Gracie,” he thumbs toward the open front door, looming like the gateway to my own personal hell.

  My heart freezes.

  “It’s time to go home.”

  “I don’t want to go home, Daniel,” I barely whisper, averting my gaze. His eyes are the deepest, darkest brown, almost onyx, and when he looks at me I don’t recognise his soul.

  There’s no mistaking the sheer fury that plays across his features, held at bay with a deceptive calm. Or the fact he knows for certain he’s got me. With Gran lying bundled in the boot, I really have no choice.

  Go quietly and you might save her. Go quietly … go quietly … go quietly.

  The words cycle in my head like an audiotape on replay. He propels me forward with an arm laid firmly across my shoulders. Shoves me toward the car with a momentum I can’t fight, and forces me inside the vehicle.

  Once inside he locks the doors. The engine rumbles to life, the car reversing swiftly from the drive. Only when we’re a few streets away, marked by the steady progression of street lights either side, do I realise Riley’s car was nowhere to be seen at Gran’s.

  I sneak a look at Dan, his eyes held steadfast to the road. “What happened to Riley’s car?”

  At first he doesn’t answer, then slowly turns his muted gaze on mine. He snickers a little. “I dumped it.”

  So indifferent and casual, in his emotionally detached way. I have reason to be gravely concerned. With Gran parcelled up in the boot, his capabilities are horrifyingly clear.

  “Can you slow down?” He takes the corners like a rally driver, with no regard for Gran. “Please, Daniel. She’s old. Don’t hurt her.”

  He slows a little, my pleas resonating despite his irrational state. It’s as if his brain has cracked, right in two, and can’t be put back together. But beneath the rift, the crevasse holds cellular memories of the good man he was. Fractured and imperfect, but holding a weakened energy all of their own.

  It begins to rain, the sky a dark representation of my heart. The road is wet as he continues to drive, the haze of headlights passing us as we head north to Avalon. The streets are a familiar mess of traffic. Slow in parts, streaming steadily, then hurtling disproportionately between traffic lights.

  The winding bends are slow. The cliffs dropping down to the road and falling to the sea are precipitous. Sharp. I don’t even consider an escape, the softness of human flesh no match for the jagged rocks below. With Gran in the boot, and cliffs plunging to the sea, there would be no point.

  Minutes later he swings the car into the empty parking area at Avalon Beach. It’s dark outside, the fallen light long gone from the sky. He swivels in his seat to face me. “Move,” he barks. “Get out of the car. Now.” He leans his large frame across mine to shove open the door and my lungs contract in the tight space pressed between us.

  His harsh tone pulls me from the haze. I push from the car, weak. Sharp ocean breezes hit my cheeks as Daniel rounds the car toward me. He runs an arm around my shoulders and leads me to the sea. Beneath the obscurity of a dark sky, the blackness of the ocean is like a void. Empty and limitless. An endless, coiling grave.

  Is this where I’ll die? Here in the sea?

  I hadn’t foreseen this. I’d imagined returning to our Avalon home, the one we’d moved into after marrying, three years ago on that long summer’s day. Our honeymoon had been brief, but the short week in Vanuatu had been a dream come true. The soft white beach; turquoise waters with sunlight netting the sandy bottom. The resort pool was a crystal reflection of the clearest, sunny sky. We’d lazed on sun lounges and been waited on. Bathed in the heat of long, balmy nights.

  “Wash yourself,” he commands, dragging me to the water’s edge. The roll and slap of the sea licking at the shoreline, was for the first time in my life, threatening.

  I look at him, confused, my thoughts a jumbled mess. Chaotic and tangled.

  “Wash yourself,” he repeats, indicating to the ocean. “Wash him from you. I can smell him.”

  I don’t need to look at him again to know he’s serious.

  “Take your clothes off. It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

  My heart shuts down. He makes me strip like a cheap whore, sullied. I remove my clothing, piece by precious piece. Only when I’m naked before his penetrating eyes do I focus on the sea to remov
e myself. To take away the indignity. The fear. The sheer panic in my chest.

  One … two … three wearied waves cut across my toes, the icy water biting at my flesh. Soon we’ll converge, the ocean and me, united beneath this star-peppered sky. I’ll be covered in cold, salty liquid, immersed alone in an icy, aquatic bath.

  He thrusts me forward, gripping me with his thumb and fingers pressed either side of my neck. Vice-like. I don’t try to restrain the hot tears falling over my cheeks as he forces me deeper. My nakedness is wracked with ice-cold shakes, the water temperature traumatising.

  “I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m so sorry,” I whimper. This was my fault. I never should have left. If I had stayed with him, Gran would be safe. I would be cosied up on the lounge in my Avalon castle, imprisoned and miserable, but I wouldn’t be here, with Gran in the boot, at the mouth of an endless sea waiting to envelop me in its arms.

  If love could be forced, I would have stayed.

  “You will be cleansed.” He wrenches me beneath the waves and holds me down, the glacial waters bitter against my skin. So bitter they hurt like a thousand knives, driving through my heart. I can’t breathe in this sea, pressed so long beneath the surface. My lungs ache, faced with an eternity of airless, biting cold. I don’t fight him for he’s too strong. I let him push me down, and the satisfying inner peace enclosing my mind is an immaculate sensation of pure awareness.

  All love.

  All light.

  My consciousness frees itself, faultless in its discernment. So clear and …

  A moment later I’m jerked violently to the surface. It takes a second for me to gasp at the air like a dying fish. Once … twice … so raspy. He pulls me from the sea and drops me onto the sand, wracked with body-shivers that could kill me just as easily as his hands.

  “We’re done here. Get dressed.”

  He watches reproachfully as I scurry to clothe myself, the sand scraping at my skin beneath my clothes. Grabbing me by the scruff of my sweatshirt, he hauls me back across the sand and throws me roughly into the seat of the car.